Funny Money

by Traci DePree

  “The winners of the two-thousand-dollar grand prize and the title of Grand Champions are”—he paused for dramatic effect—“Joe Tucker and Georgia Cline!”

  Joe and Georgia waved to the crowd, while Evelyn sat back in her chair as if stunned.

  Audrey was clapping furiously, while Hal and Paul offered more demure congratulations. Evelyn hadn’t said a word, though her face was pale. Kate narrowed her eyes at her, studying the blue hair, the plain-looking outfit she’d changed into once she’d found out Fish wasn’t coming.

  The announcer said his farewells, and the crowd began to disperse.

  “Mrs. Hanlon?” A man’s voice pulled her attention. At first she didn’t see him, since the lights behind him blinded her. Then she realized who it was—Agent Norris.

  “I’m here to place you under arrest,” he went on. “For conspiracy to counterfeit.”

  Kate’s mouth dropped open, and Paul stood to protest.

  “This is ridiculous!” he said. “There’s no way on the planet that Kate is a counterfeiter.”

  “I’m sorry, Pastor Hanlon.” The agent turned to him. “There was evidence at the storage facility—a camera with her fingerprints and shots of bills.”

  “That was planted, and you know it,” Kate said, pointing a finger and rising to her feet.

  The agent shook his head. “I have a young man here who is willing to testify that you exchanged money with him.”

  “But...but...,” Kate sputtered.

  “Can I take a look in that side pocket of your handbag?” he said.

  The young man nodded that that was where he’d seen her stash the money.

  Kate couldn’t believe it. Reluctantly she reached into the pocket and handed it to him. There was no doubt that the money was counterfeit. He examined it, then handed it to Paul so he could have a look. Kate shot Audrey a look, but the woman had disappeared to the dance floor to congratulate her prize pupils.

  “Let’s not make a scene in the middle of this crowd,” Agent Norris went on. “I’m here to take you to the Copper Mill jail.”

  KATE HAD PROTESTED riding in the backseat of the Secret Service agent’s black sedan, insisting that they wait for a patrol car. But they hadn’t been able to reach Sheriff Roberts.

  “Should we add resisting arrest to your charges?” the agent said, staring her down.

  Not even Paul could argue with that. So, reluctantly Kate got in. Paul promised that he’d keep trying to reach the sheriff and be right behind them in Kate’s Honda.

  As the car sped south out of town, Kate wondered if they were indeed heading to the jail in Copper Mill. Given her suspicions, who knew what the man was capable of? She stared out the window as the black Tennessee night pressed against the windows.

  “You thought you were pretty smart, didn’t you, Mrs. Hanlon?” the agent said, his eyes focused straight ahead.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “All your snooping around. It’s a great cover for your own part in this ring.” His voice was condescending, almost gleeful.

  “I’m no counterfeiter.”

  “How do you explain the bill in your handbag and the camera with your prints?”

  “Maybe you should try to explain it.” Kate saw his quick take in the mirror. She looked back to see if Paul was still following. His headlights shone from fifty or so feet back.

  “I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with.”

  Fear came over Kate then. The tone of his voice, the menace in his words—she’d crossed some invisible line.

  “So what do you want me to do, Agent Norris?” she said.

  “First of all, stop your meddling. Counterfeiting is a serious crime, Mrs. Hanlon. It’s the kind of thing people get killed over.” The threat in his statement hung in the air between them. Kate’s pulse quickened.

  “How long have you and Mr. Harper been friends?” she ventured.

  The agent seemed startled by the question. “What makes you think we’re friends?”

  “I’ve seen you together. I know more than you think. I know you were at the church the day the counterfeits were passed. I know you took things from the Lourdes’ home to plant at the storage facility.”

  The man’s eyes narrowed in the mirror at her.

  “Hal and I worked together in Texas. That’s all.”

  “So how did it work?” Kate said. “Hal made the counterfeits, and you were the guard dog, derailing any investigations that got too close to you by framing innocent bystanders? Tim was just an available scapegoat, isn’t that right? How many other people have you sent to jail in your place, Agent Norris?”

  She felt the car speed up. He turned right onto a gravel road. Kate turned her head. Paul was there but farther back, losing ground to the racing sedan.

  “And who is Max Lee?” she braved, realizing in that instant that she knew the answer to her own question. “You made him up, didn’t you? It was all part of the frame—”

  “You talk too much, Mrs. Hanlon.”

  Kate looked out the window. “Where are you taking me?”

  The agent turned again, taking the first left. His driving had become erratic; he was all over the road, spitting gravel and dust as he flew.

  “Agent Norris, this isn’t the way to the Copper Mill jail. Why are you taking me on Hawk’s Nest Road?”

  The unmarked road was known by locals for the birds that lived there. She glanced back again. No sign of Paul.

  “Keep your trap shut!” the agent snapped.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Kate pressed her back against the seat. Sweat beaded on her forehead. If the car hadn’t been traveling so fast, she could have jumped out the door, but the road twisted and turned up the mountain, and steep drop-offs met the side rails closer to the top.

  Agent Norris met her eyes in the rearview mirror. “Looks like we lost your husband,” he said, cynical glee in his tone.

  The blackness outside closed in. “Don’t count on it.”

  Her ears popped, signaling that they neared the top of the mountain. She prayed for God to intervene, to give her wisdom, to rescue her, but when they came to a stop and the agent pulled her from the backseat, it seemed her prayers would go unanswered.

  “You won’t be interfering in other people’s business anymore, lady.” He squeezed her arm and dragged her across rocks and brambles toward the precipice.

  “You’re hurting me!” Kate cried. “They all saw you take me. How do you think you’ll get away with this?”

  “You’d be surprised how many things I’ve gotten away with,” he hissed.

  Her thoughts flew to Paul and their three children, to her grandchildren, then to Amy and Tim Lourdes and little Jake, who would be separated possibly forever if this man had his way.

  “You can’t do this!” she said, her voice echoing off the rocks.

  “Just watch me!” He pulled her and held her by the shoulders, ready to send her plummeting to her death in the valley far below. “You can say good-bye, Mrs. Hanlon.”

  Just then, headlights illuminated them, and Kate took the moment of distraction to stomp on the man’s foot, hard, with her high-heeled shoe. He let out a yowl of pain and loosened his grip. She fled toward the light, kicking her shoes off as she ran. Pain shot up her feet from the uneven, rocky ground.

  Paul was there, followed within moments by a police car, its lights flashing. Agent Norris turned to run, but there was nowhere he could go except over the cliff. Finally he raised his hands over his head in surrender.

  Sheriff Roberts handcuffed him and tugged him to the SUV as Kate and Paul held each other. Kate’s body shook as the realization of what could have happened came to her. Paul stroked her hair and whispered softly into her ear. Finally he pulled back and looked into her eyes.

  “You okay?” he said.

  “Now I am.” She smiled despite the stain of tears on her cheeks.

  The sheriff was at their side. “Good thing you called 911
,” he said to Kate. He lifted his hat and scratched his head. “Deputy Spencer and reinforcements are on their way to the Harpers’ as we speak. He’ll give them the homecoming they deserve.”

  AMY LOURDES WAS AT HER DOOR at eight o’clock the next morning. “They’re setting Tim free!” she said without even a hello. “Just like that, they’re letting him go.” Her pretty face glowed with excitement.

  “Who’s staying with Jake?” Kate said as Paul came to stand behind her in the doorway.

  “My neighbor. She called a couple days ago to apologize and see if she could help with Jake.” She looked from Kate to Paul, then winked. “So do you want to come with me to get Tim?”

  Kate grinned. “Let me grab my handbag.”

  Tim was waiting for them in front of the town jail when Kate and Paul parked behind Amy’s car. Though he looked too thin and pale, he smiled from ear to ear. Sheriff Roberts was with him, hat in hand as he spoke to the newly freed man. Amy flew out of the car and into his arms, practically knocking him over.

  The sheriff met Kate’s eyes with a nod and tucked his arms behind his back.

  “You were right about everything. The Harpers had an elaborate counterfeiting operation in their garage,” he said. “From what we can tell, they bleached sections of pre-1996 ones, fives and tens, and reprinted them at higher denominations so they still had characteristics of real money. They printed smaller counterfeit bills they figured people wouldn’t bother checking, like that five you had. It was brilliant, really. From what we can estimate, they’ve passed over three hundred thousand dollars in fake bills across several states. Agent Wimper said that they’re looking back at some of their prior cases to see who else the threesome framed.”

  “How can they just set up innocent people?” Kate asked, astounded by their lack of empathy for those they’d hurt.

  The sheriff shook his head. “Near as we can tell with Tim Lourdes, the bank employee was an easy mark. He’d already taken some of the bills when he filled in at the teller counter, so they knew his prints were on them. Agent Norris—who seems to have been the guard dog of this operation—planted everything else after the fact.”

  “And the print shop at the storage facility?” Paul asked.

  “Norris bribed the owner to say that Tim had rented it. The handwriting analysis would’ve borne that out, if Norris hadn’t gotten his hands on the evidence and your camera.”

  Kate shook her head, disbelieving. “So Audrey was...”

  “She was in on everything, Kate. The studio was part of their cover. All their possessions have been seized.”

  He looked Kate in the eye. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “It’s a terrible thing what those people did to an innocent, hurting family. But the Lourdeses will soon be back together because of you.”

  JAKE’S COLOR HAD RETURNED along with the joy when he saw his father in his hospital room. His mouth dropped open, and he looked to his mother as if he wasn’t sure he could believe his eyes.

  “It’s Daddy!” she confirmed.

  “I’m free,” Tim said, pulling his son into an embrace.

  Jake coughed deep in his chest, though his smile never dimmed. He closed his eyes, and the taut lines of his face relaxed for the first time in a long time.

  “I was so worried for Mommy,” he said. “She needs us.”

  Tim pulled back and gazed into his son’s serious face.

  “She does need us.” He winked at Amy as tears streamed down her cheeks. “And you need to get healthy.” He held his son for a long time.

  Kate couldn’t help but tear up at the sight.

  Finally Tim stood, ruffling his son’s hair as he did. Then he turned to Kate and held out a hand. “We can’t thank you enough, Kate.”

  Kate took his hand in a warm grasp.

  “What will you do now?” she asked.

  “The bank has offered me my job back, and I’ll stay for a little bit until Jake’s out of the hospital. But we’d really like to take him to that cystic fibrosis facility in Memphis.” He looked at his wife. “Since Amy’s family is there, we’re going to head home, job or not, and trust God for the rest.”

  Amy grinned. “My sister said we can live with her and her husband until we get on our feet.”

  Kate turned her eyes to Jake. “How do you feel about that?”

  His dark-rimmed eyes smiled, belying his tired body. “I’m just happy to have my daddy back.”

  Epilogue

  The big moving truck parked in front of the Lourdes’ home seemed so final to Kate. She would miss this devoted family when they were gone. That morning the church had presented them with the offering they’d taken all those months before, and Tim had gratefully accepted.

  Jake’s health prognosis had improved dramatically since the lung transplant. He no longer made that rattling sound when he breathed. It didn’t mean his cystic fibrosis was cured, but it did mean he had time to grow into a man and live a full life. Perhaps a cure would be found.

  “He’s in the hands of God,” Amy told Kate as they watched the boy say a tearful farewell to his friends, their skinny bodies hugging.

  Tim was at her side, looking like his old Beach Boys self.

  “That’s the only place to be,” Kate said, touching the younger woman’s arm in a motherly way.

  They watched as the moving company brought out piece after piece of furniture and carefully placed them in the truck, like putting together a jigsaw puzzle they’d completed many times before.

  “We...uh...” A voice behind them drew their attention. It was Joe Tucker and one of the Cline sisters. They both wore sheepish expressions.

  Joe looked at Amy, then at Jake.

  Amy and Tim turned toward them, curious. Joe lifted his face and said, “You probably heard about that dance contest we won.”

  Tim nodded.

  “We both agreed that we didn’t want to do it just to look good,” Joe kept going. “Or for selfish gain. I mean, what would be the purpose in that?”

  “Joe and I don’t have anything that we need at our ages,” the blue-haired senior put in, “and we know how hard these times must be for you, especially with—”

  Joe held up a finger, silencing the woman.

  “We wanted you to have this.” He handed Tim an envelope.

  Tim seemed shocked at first. He looked at Amy, then at Kate.

  “Well, open it,” Joe insisted.

  Tim slid his finger inside the flap and pulled out two checks for one thousand dollars each. “We can’t accept thi—”

  “You sure can accept it,” Joe said. “It was part of the reason I agreed to do the competition. I told you about my niece’s little girl,” he went on. “I know what it’s like to love someone with that ailment. And when Georgia told me that there was a cash prize, I saw it as an opportunity.”

  Tim handed the gift to Amy.

  “How can we thank you?” Amy said.

  “You just did,” Joe said.

  Amy pulled the elderly woman into an embrace. The woman smiled, and a tear escaped her lashes.

  Kate gave the Cline twin a wink. She’d thought something hadn’t been quite right at the competition—the soulfulness of the dance, the loose fit of the clothes, the flat hair, Evelyn missing out on the competition...It all served to confirm Kate’s suspicions.

  Evelyn had taken Georgia’s place in the dance final.

  Kate smiled at the blue-haired twin. If Evelyn wanted to keep the switch a secret, then Kate would respect that.

  “Sounds like cause for celebration,” Paul said.

  “You’ll have to celebrate without us.” Tim pointed to the van, which was now full. The movers closed the back door. “We’re on our way!”

  As the Lourdes waved good-bye, Kate glanced at her husband, then at Joe and Evelyn.

  She realized that the best deeds were those done with no thought for self, but from a heart for those in need.

  A Note from the Editors

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and the Minister’s Wife, created by the Books and Inspirational Media Division of Guideposts, a nonprofit organization that touches millions of lives every day through products and services that inspire, encourage, help you grow in your faith, and celebrate God’s love in every aspect of your daily life.

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  About the Author

  BEFORE LAUNCHING her writing career, Traci DePree worked as a fiction editor for many of the best Christian authors in the country. While still maintaining her editing career, Traci loves making up new worlds in her novels. Her hope is that, just as in Copper Mill, Tennessee, her readers will see God’s creation and inspiration within the people in their own lives. Traci is the author of the best-selling Lake Emily series, including A Can of Peas, Dandelions in a Jelly Jar and Aprons on a Clothesline. She makes her home in a small Minnesota town with her husband and their five children, the youngest joining the family via adoption.