Promised Soul

by Sandra J. Jackson

  “How?” I finally asked.

  Aaron looked at me briefly before returning his gaze out over the ocean. “I used to dream about this faceless, nameless girl. She felt real to me, and I spent a lot of time searching for the essence of her in every girl I met. Even my mother had convinced me we were destined to meet – she was my future. I gave up after a while, but I think a part of me keeps looking for her.” He fell silent for a moment, dug a small rock out of the ground and threw it out over the edge of the cliff.

  It took all my self-control not to tell him what I knew. I battled with the part of me that wanted him to know that I was that faceless, nameless girl. I wanted him to know that the girl from his dream had been from his past – our past from another time. Yet, at the same time, that girl also held the key to his future – our future. It was a continuous loop tying the past and the future together. I kept my mouth closed.

  Aaron dug out another small stone and threw it even further. “It's been awhile since I've believed in… any of it.” He waved his hands out in front of him for emphasis.

  “And…” I prodded, keeping the conversation heading in the right direction.

  “And now, I don't know,” he said looking at me. “You are so familiar to me, like the girl from my dream. Though it has been a while, she's ingrained in here.” He reached up and pointed to his head. “Your eyes though, it's like I can see into you and –”

  “Me, too,” I interrupted. A look of astonishment crossed his face.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, turning his whole body and facing me. I did the same in return.

  “When I look at your eyes it's like…” I hesitated, what was it like exactly?

  “I know,” he said, the corners of his mouth twitching a bit.

  “When we touch, do you feel…” I didn't know quite how to explain it, but as I searched for the right words Aaron finished my sentence.

  “Like an electric shock?” he offered.

  “Yeah, only not… painful.”

  “No, definitely not painful, more like…” He stopped; his eyes squinted, as though he were trying to think of just the right words.

  “It's almost…” I felt myself blush, “like a rush?” Not exactly the feeling I was going for but probably the closest I was going to get.

  “Yeah, almost,” he reaffirmed and smiled.

  Again, we were silent before I broke it with yet another question. “Do you have any idea what's going on?” I asked.

  Aaron looked at me, cocked his head to the side, and smiled. “Do you?”

  I told the truth, telling him that I was sure that I had lived before. I spoke of my experiences with two psychic mediums, one of which had given me the book that he read. I told him about my dreams or memories of my past life. Finally, I told him I believed we were connected.

  He sat there for a moment staring at me, and I realized then that I'd said far too much even though he admitted sensing there was a connection between us. He turned away and looked back out over the ocean, the sun still high in the sky.

  “We should probably get going, I told Nate we'd be there by one o'clock.”

  Aaron brushed the grass from his lap and stood up, looked down at me, and stretched out his hand. I took hold of it feeling that familiar exchange of electricity, as he pulled me up a little too hard. I lost my balance and fell slightly forward into him, his arms instinctively wrapped around me for protection.

  “Oh, sorry.” I said trying to pull away from the now awkward situation.

  “Don't be.”

  Aaron bent forward and kissed me. A kiss that was long, passionate, and gentle. A kiss saved for lovers who have been apart; a kiss that sent heat and shivers at the same time, coursing through my body. A kiss that made time stand still and yet made the world spin. A kiss that promised; a kiss that bound – for eternity.

  My legs almost gave out from underneath, but his strong arms supported me while I regained my own strength. Suddenly he pulled away. “Sorry.”

  “Why?” I asked, remembering his other apology after kissing me in the apartment.

  “Because it isn't right,” he said straightening up and taking a step back from me.

  “What isn't.”

  “Us. This isn't very professional of me. Not to mention Peter.” He looked at me with an expression I couldn't read.

  “Peter!” I was astounded. “What does Peter have to do with any of this?” I held out my hand and waved it between us.

  “He told me he kissed you.”

  “So?”

  “So he said you weren't looking for any relationship and now…”

  I understood why the hesitation, the hot and cold responses I got from him, and the sense of turmoil. I laughed as it began to make sense. “Yes,” I said when I finished laughing. “At the time, I didn't want a relationship and I wasn't looking for one. But then I met you, and I know that this connection between us is…” I watched his face for a reaction, but there was nothing. “You have to understand that…” You've already said too much. I silently warned myself. It's up to him. I looked down at the ground.

  “Look,” Aaron said, interrupting my thoughts. He reached over and placed his hands on my shoulders forcing me to look up at him. “I feel that there's something, too…”

  “But you don't understand it's…” Enough! I warned myself again.

  “This mightn't be anything more than… Look I don't want to misguide you, lead you in to feeling that this could be anything more than just a… a summer romance. Need I remind you that you are leaving in a few weeks?”

  No, he didn't need to remind me. I knew all too well that my time was limited, but in that instant, I wanted to live in the moment and not worry about leaving. I shook my head in response to his question.

  “I don't know if I've had a past life Krista. I don't have the memories or dreams like you. I don't know if that girl from my dreams means anything. All I know is that there is something between us that I can't deny – won't.”

  I leaned forward and hugged him, wrapping my arms around his middle and feeling him pull me closer. It didn't matter that he didn't remember, I had enough memories for both of us, and I would find a way somehow to help him or at the very least make him believe that we truly were meant to be together. It was a start, and I was taking it.

  “And Peter?” he said whispering into my hair, he kissed the top of my head.

  “We'll figure everything out.”

  Thirty-Eight

  Bude; with its coastline beaches and cliffs, historic homes, pubs and so much more, was now not only Aaron's history but a part of mine as well. The two days spent there, were more than I could have imagined and if there was any possible way to make it last longer, I would have tried to find one. However, that was not the case and with sadness in my heart, I packed my few things back into my bag, preparing for the trip home. We wouldn't be leaving until the afternoon but as always, there was a need to be ready, just in case. Besides it was very early and by the sounds of things, or lack thereof, no one else was awake yet. Since my room had its own private bath, I showered and dressed, too.

  While patiently waiting for the sun to rise, I thought back over the past couple of days, remembering every detail and etching it into my brain. I was afraid that when we left there, Aaron and I would go back to the same client/tour guide relationship – attributing everything we said and felt to a very short summer romance.

  When Aaron and I had showed up at Nate's house we had decided to build a relationship, we would worry about my leaving when it came time. Aaron introduced me as Krista, leaving out the client part, and when we went for a walk after dinner, he held my hand. Later that evening, Nate and Gwen took us to a pub for drinks and music. Aaron sat beside me and despite the glances from both Nate and Gwen; he put his arm around me and pulled me close. At some point in the evening, Nate and Aaron disappeared, and I assumed they were talking about our relationship, as Gwen had had a few questions of her own. When we had finally returned home,
Nate and Gwen went to bed while Aaron and I compared the interrogation we'd both undergone. Hours later, we headed to our own separate rooms. Saying goodnight wasn't easy, but we had decided spending the night together would not be a good idea, at least not in Nate and Gwen's home.

  The next day, I slept in, and awoke only when a knock at the door, a rather impatient one, roused me from my sleep. I had been dreaming of Aaron and didn't want it to end. Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and opened the door. Aaron whisked me off my feet, gently tossed me back on the bed, and climbed in beside me, pulling me close under the blankets.

  “What time –?” I had started to ask.

  “Eight,” he replied, pulling me closer.

  “What about Nate and Gwen?”

  “Gone to work, I suppose.” He nuzzled his face against me, and I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck and shivered; his arms tightened around my waist. “Are you cold?” he asked, sounding drowsy.

  “No,” I whispered and closed my eyes, drifting off into peaceful sleep, a smile pasted to my face.

  When we finally awoke, it was to the sound of loud banging downstairs. Like two teenagers, we jumped up quickly; as though afraid someone would catch us. Fits of giddy laughter took hold of both of us, as if we were drunk. Slowly, we regained control of ourselves, stifling our giggles. Aaron kissed me quickly before heading back to his room, and left me standing there still feeling very much intoxicated. When I finally sobered, I jumped in the shower. The warm water washed over me, caressing me. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes, imagining Aaron's arms around me. I stood that way for some time before finally waking from the reverie and realizing that if I soon didn't make an appearance, there would be questions.

  That morning, Aaron showed me around town, taking me to all of his favourite old hangouts, at my request, and together we found some new ones. We crammed as much as possible into what little time we had. Later that afternoon, we packed a picnic, headed back to his – and now my – most favourite place on earth and watched the sunset. I had never felt happier or more complete in all my life.

  I sat on the bed with its floral bedspread, playing with the fringe on a matching throw pillow, a wide grin spreading across my face as I recounted the events of the past two days. When the sky lightened, I crossed the cool hardwood floor to the window, spreading the lightweight curtains apart to watch as the street came alive. In the distance, the vast Atlantic spread from shore to horizon. Oddly enough, I was no longer afraid of it.

  A light rap at the door brought me from my trance, but I couldn't be bothered to cross the room to open it, instead calling out to the knocker to come in.

  His reflection in the window caught my attention, and I smiled automatically as he approached. I continued to gaze out the window as morning brought life to the quiet street. He wrapped his arms around me, and I closed my eyes, savouring the moment.

  “We have to go,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

  I could tell by his voice that he was upset.

  “What's the matter?” I asked turning around. He wore an expression of deep sadness, one I'd never seen.

  “It's my Mum,” he choked. “Doc Brown says it's time. I'll give you a moment to pack-up.”

  “It's okay, I'm ready to go.” I turned away from him, unable to bare the sadness in his eyes any longer and grabbed my bag from the chair by the bed. Quietly, we left the room.

  We drove on silently, eating the breakfast Gwen had thoughtfully packed for us although Aaron left most of his untouched. Finally, after half an hour had passed I broke the silence.

  “You are taking me home first?” I expected as much as obviously, it was a time for family and close friends. However, knowing that the drive from Bude to Bourton had taken us a little over four hours, I had no idea where Tockington was in relation.

  “There's no time.” Aaron stated in monotone, staring straight ahead at the road as he drove.

  “Oh.” Uneasiness fell over me as I realized what his words meant.

  “I'm sorry. I know it's not a very comfortable situation for you right now.” Aaron looked at me for a brief moment before focusing his attention back on the road. “Tockington is about a two-and-a-half hour drive from here,” he continued. “We've got to head straight there.” He looked at me again and smiled, but I knew it was only for my benefit.

  “I promise I'll stay out of everyone's way. Maybe I'll go for a walk or something.”

  “No! I want you with me, I need you.” His voice dropped to a whisper, his knuckles whitened as his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

  I reached over and touched his arm. He relaxed his grip and the tension eased from his jaw line. He reached out his hand and held mine, and there we remained for the rest of the trip. Neither of us spoke, each of us locked within our own worlds.

  When we pulled into the drive, behind two other vehicles, I recognized one immediately as Peter's; my heart began thumping. They weren't my family, and yet I felt as close to them as though I'd known them for years; my heart was breaking, not just for Aaron, but for everyone who loved Kate.

  Before Aaron reached the door, it opened and Peter ushered us in, a grim look on his face.

  “Is she…” Aaron began to ask before emotion stopped him in his tracks.

  “No mate, she's waiting for you, hurry!”

  Aaron left immediately; his hurried footsteps reverberating as he quickly climbed the stairs. I turned and followed Peter into the parlour, each of us taking a seat on the couch side by side.

  “Did you have a nice time in Bude?” Peter asked, though by his tone I knew he didn't really care. Kate was family to him as well.

  “Yes.” I reached over and took Peter's hand, trying very hard not to shed any tears. I was the one who needed to be strong for them. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, maintaining my composure. “How are you holding up? I know this is hard for you, too.” I squeezed Peter's hand.

  He didn't speak, only squeezed my hand back as his reply. We sat holding hands for a few more minutes when Jane entered the room carrying a tray laden with teacups, cookies, and a teapot.

  “Oh Jane, let me take that. I jumped up, taking the tray from her visibly shaking hands, and placed it on the coffee table. “Sit down, Jane, I'll get this stuff.” Too upset to argue, Jane allowed me to guide her to a chair. “Is there anything else I can get either of you?”

  Jane tearfully shook her head and dabbed at her eyes with what was left of a very tattered tissue.

  Peter cleared his throat. “Tissue.” Was all he managed saying.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Jane beginning to rise. “I'll get it.” I said gently. Jane didn't argue only told me there was a box in the kitchen. I returned a moment later with the box of tissues in hand and held it out to both Peter and Jane before setting it on the coffee table beside the untouched tea.

  “Can I pour anyone a cup?” I asked.

  Both Peter and Jane shook their heads, and I took my place back on the couch beside Peter. The three of us sat quietly mesmerized by the sound of the ticking grandfather clock in the room. I jumped as the clock began to chime. Just at the last of ten chimes, a tall, grey haired man walked into the room. Peter jumped to his feet.

  “Is…” Peter choked out.

  The man shook his head, as though he knew what Peter was about to ask. Peter let out an audible breath before plunking himself back down on the couch beside me. The man took his seat in the chair at the other end of the couch.

  “Hello, I'm Krista.” I said standing up and walking toward the man with my hand outstretched.

  He stood up in turn, took my hand and smiled. “Pleasure to meet ye, Krista. Basil Broon, I'm Kate's physician.”

  Dr. Brown's strong Scottish accent caught me off guard, though it was a pleasant surprise.

  “Can I pour you some tea?” I asked pointing to the untouched tray.

  “Nay, that's all right I'll pour it meself. Aaron has asked ye to join
him.”

  My eyes widened and they flicked back and forth between Peter and Jane, their equally stunned expressions pasted to their faces. Never in my entire life had I felt more awkward or out of place as in that very moment. I wanted nothing more than to run from there and hide out in Aaron's car until it was over.

  I looked back at Basil, who smiled somewhat knowingly. “It's all right, me dear, Kate asked for ye.”

  “What?” Peter said as I headed out of the room with Jane explaining to him that we'd already met. Their voices disappeared as I rounded the corner and headed up the stairs.

  I knocked quietly at the closed door and waited for Aaron. His red eyes greeted me as he opened the door and stepped back to allow me into the room.

  The frail looking woman on the bed was not the same person I remembered meeting only a short time ago. I approached and took a seat beside Aaron. Kate opened her eyes and offered a very week smile before closing them again. I smiled back, but instantly put my head down, my eyes filling with tears. My hand rested on the bed beside her, and as I worked to compose myself, I felt a very light and cold touch. My eyes instantly went to my hand, Kate's own hand rested by mine; a finger gently stroked the back for a brief second before dropping and joining the rest of her unmoving hand. Kate opened her eyes again and looked at Aaron. He moved closer to his mother and listened carefully, her lips barely moving.

  “I think she wants to say something to you.” Aaron rose from his spot at the head of his mother's bed and made room for me to get closer to Kate.

  I leaned in as Kate painstakingly whispered the last words she would speak. “Take. Care. Of. Him… remember.” Kate closed her eyes, her breathing laboured.

  I moved out of the way, letting Aaron back in. He pushed his chair as close as possible to the bed. Bending his head forward he pressed his cheek against Kate's arm and closed his eyes.