Worth the Drive

by Mara Jacobs

  They would spend the winters in Spain. She looked around the room at the huge fireplace, which was bare now. To have the fire roaring, holding their child here, with Darío at his desk, Sofia not far away. Yes, winters in Spain. Lovely.

  If he still wanted to marry her. To be a family.

  The phone rang, pulling Katie out of her thoughts. As Darío answered, she returned to her book. Darío soon walked over, handing the phone to her.

  “It’s for you. Alison.”

  That was surprising. She stayed in touch with Lizzie and Alison and her family mostly by email, because of the time difference. Besides, Alison was busy with a new semester starting at Tech and Lizzie was busy with – well, Lizzie was always busy – so she hadn’t called them since she’d arrived in Spain. She hadn’t even turned her cell phone on over here.

  “Hey, Al, what’s up?”

  “Hey KitKat. God, it’s good to hear your voice.”

  Her voice sounded weary and Katie was on instant alert. “Al? What is it? What’s wrong?” Darío had returned to his desk but Katie could feel his questioning eyes on her. She turned to him and shrugged.

  “Oh, I’m just tired that’s all. I just finished teaching and have to get back to the hospital.”

  “What happened? Are you alright?”

  Alison sighed. “It’s not me. I’m only visiting.” She let out a deep breath. “It’s my dad.”

  Ah, Alison’s father. Katie realized she’d been waiting for this call for some time, as Alison must have known she’d one day be making it.

  Alison’s parents were much older than Katie’s and Lizzie’s. Alison had been a change of life baby who’d surprised her parents. More like shocked them senseless. Having raised two older daughters, seen them through college, out of the house, and then to find out another one was on the way.

  Alison’s father was older than her mother, in his early eighties now. He’d been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s seven years ago. He’d lived a relatively normal life since then with the help of Alison and her mother.

  But they’d all been waiting, knowing there’d be the day when Alison and her mother wouldn’t be able to do the job alone. Apparently, that day had arrived.

  “He didn’t hurt himself or anything did he? Is he okay physically?” Katie asked her friend. Again, she felt Darío’s eyes on her.

  “He’s fine physically, but we had to put him in the longer term care wing at the hospital. Mom just couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

  “It’s okay, Al, you did the right thing. It was all you could do.”

  “Yeah, I know. So why do I feel like such a shit?”

  Katie smiled. “Because you’re a good, caring person, that’s why. And this is eating you up. How’s your mom doing?”

  She heard Alison’s breath go out of her. “Well, that’s the other thing. Not so good. We…I…decided to put Dad in the hospital because Mom’s not doing so hot.”

  Katie could hear Alison take a sip of something, then clear her throat. “They’ve just diagnosed Mom with dementia too.”

  “Oh, God, Al. I’m so sorry.” Katie wished she could climb through the phone wire and be with her friend, wrap her up in her arms and smother her with hugs. Alison would hate that, but she probably desperately needed it.

  “Yeah. It’s just the total shits here, KitKat.”

  “Maybe I should come home,” Katie said. She turned to Darío. He didn’t know what was going on, but must have realized it was something serious. He nodded his understanding, that Katie should go if she needed to.

  “No. There’s nothing you could do. Mom and I are just trying to get some things in order, in case she can’t…make decisions…later.” It was the only time Katie had ever known Alison to cry. She heard Alison blowing her nose, could almost see her pulling it together. “I just needed someone to talk to. I need to call my sisters and I wanted to say it out loud to someone besides them first, you know?”

  “Sure, Al, I know.”

  “Anyway, it’s been a long week. I’ve been either at the hospital or at Mom’s every evening, after teaching in the morning and seeing patients in the afternoon. It just took its toll, that’s all. No need for you to come home, KitKat, it’ll all be…” Her voiced trailed off. Katie didn’t finish the sentence for her. She couldn’t.

  “Hang in there, Al. Don’t forget to take care of yourself,” Katie said.

  “I will. Don’t worry KitKat, you just have a good time with your Latin Lover. Are you married yet?”

  Katie snuck a glance at Darío, his head down, reading the papers on the desk in front of him. “No,” was all she said.

  “Oh, I almost forgot the other reason I called,” Alison said.

  “That wasn’t reason enough?”

  “I was going to call you about my parents later, I didn’t want you worrying about me while you were off doing the blushing bride thing.”

  Katie laughed at that. “So why the call?”

  “At the hospital yesterday. There was a car accident. Amber and little Crystal.”

  Katie gasped. “And Ron?”

  “No, he wasn’t in the car. It wasn’t too bad, but the baby had to have surgery. And they needed blood for her and Amber was kind of hysterical so they got Ron in there…and…and”

  “And?” Katie said loudly, worrying about that little baby going through surgery.

  “And the baby is fine, she came through the surgery just fine, but they realized that Ron wasn’t a match.”

  “Huh?”

  “He wasn’t a match. Which isn’t so unusual. Except, I don’t know, something about rare blood types and no possible way…bottom line…he’s not Crystal’s father.”

  A chill swept through Katie. A picture of Ron playing with Crystal in the Commodore flashed through her mind. How he’d gently placed the plastic keys on the tray of her highchair after Crystal repeatedly knocked them to the floor. “Oh God. Poor Ron.”

  “Yeah, I know. I was coming from seeing my dad after it all happened. Cindy Pietala was there because one of her kids had some surgery or something and heard the whole thing. She said Ron was shouting there must be some mistake. Amber was causing a scene. I guess it was nuts.”

  Cindy Pietala was a woman that she and Alison had graduated with, known forever. Though she’d been Cindy Kilpela in high school. She had five children now. A fact Katie knew because she’d seen a pregnant Cindy many times when Katie’d gone to the hospital to see her doctor about conceiving.

  “So, I go up to the Post-Op area. Just to see how Ron’s doing. I don’t know why I should care after what he did to you,” Alison said, as if she needed to defend her actions.

  “You’ve known Ron a long time, Al. Whatever his and my situation, he was in pain and you wanted to help. It’s okay.”

  Alison cleared her throat. “You should have seen him, Kat. The poor guy looked like he’d been run over by a truck. He was torn up with worry about the baby and shock to find out she isn’t his. I felt so bad for him.”

  Katie felt Ron’s pain too. How could she not? She, more than anyone, knew how much he wanted to be a father, what steps he would take to become one. Then to find out one day it was all a lie. Yes, she knew what he was going through.

  They were both silent for a moment.

  “Well, I’ve got to get going. I’ve got to head back to the hospital, then to my mom’s. I’m sorry to dump everything on you, KitKat, but I needed to tell someone about my parents, you know?”

  “Of course. I’m glad you called, Al. If there’s anything I can do on this end…”

  “I know, and thanks. Love you, Kat.”

  “Love you, too, Al.”

  She hung up the phone, stunned by the overload of information. Her heart went out to them all: Alison, her parents, Ron, the baby. Even Amber. Sort of.

  Darío was going insane only being able to hear Katie’s side of the conversation. He knew Ron was involved somehow. That something had happened.

  That she wanted to go home.
>
  No, he told himself, don’t get carried away. She didn’t say she wanted to go home, she asked Alison if she should go home. A slight difference, but one that Darío was hanging on to for dear life.

  She brought the phone back over to his desk, placed it in its cradle. She looked a million miles away. Or at least an ocean and half the United States away.

  He waited for her to start, but she just stood there, her long, elegant fingers tracing the buttons on the phone.

  “Trouble?” he finally said.

  “Not exactly trouble, but not great news, no.”

  She took a seat across the desk from him. Like he was interviewing her or some damn thing. He longed to go over, pull her to him and soothe her. He just wasn’t sure what the problem was. “Alison’s father is in the hospital with severe Alzhiemer’s, and her mother isn’t doing so well, either. They just diagnosed her with some form of dementia. I didn’t get if it was Alzhiemer’s too or not.”

  “Ah, poor Alison. That is quite a blow.”

  Katie nodded. “Yes. She’s pretty stressed about it as you can imagine.”

  “And you’d like to be home, to be with her?” He asked, holding his breath, hoping Alison was the reason she wanted to leave Spain. Leave him.

  “I guess there’s nothing I could do, really. And this is just the beginning; it’s going to be a long haul. I’ll be there for her later.” She started to get up, to leave the room.

  Let her go, he told himself, don’t ask. But he couldn’t help himself. “Did I hear you mention something about Ron?” He hated himself for how desperate his voice sounded.

  She turned around, her shoulders sagged, she let out a breath. “There was a car accident. Everyone is okay, I guess, but what came out of it is that Ron is not Crystal’s father.”

  Darío was silent. He had pity for the man. To find out the child you loved, the child you gave up so much for is not yours. To realize the woman who bore you that child lied to you. Darío could not imagine such a thing, even though early on with Katie he had wondered if that was to be his fate. No longer. He knew Katie would never lie about such a thing.

  But would she lie to him about her true feelings about Ron? If it were to protect Darío? To protect her child’s future?

  Then the weight of what this meant hit him. “Ron will no longer wish to be with Amber then, eh?”

  “No, probably not. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  But now she was.

  “Well, I’m going to turn in. You coming?” she asked.

  He wanted nothing more than to go to bed with her now. Hold her, make love to her, let her know he loved her. But he had to think. “You go on ahead. I need to finish reading these contracts.”

  She nodded and left the office, softly closing the door behind her.

  He tried to keep his emotions in check, focus on the facts. Like he did on the course.

  He thought back through the week they’d been in Spain. Things had definitely been different. Katie had pulled away from him. It was subtle, the difference, but he’d noticed it. He tried to pinpoint when exactly that had happened. She’d insisted on spending that first night alone, so it actually could have been from before they got to Spain.

  He thought back to their last night in The Copper Country. They’d made love in her shower. And then again in the guest room.

  Before that. At the Commodore. Ron being a good father.

  Darío leaned his elbow onto the desk, rested his head in his hands.

  Of course, she’d begun to pull away the next day. The day after seeing Ron and his family.

  And now he was no longer a part of that family. Ron was free. Free to be with Katie.

  He got up from the desk and went into the bedroom. The bedside lamp was on, Katie on her side – the most comfortable position for her to sleep in now – a book resting on her hip. Asleep.

  He stood over her, watching her. She was so breathtakingly beautiful.

  And she loved another man.

  The words he’d overheard his mother say today when he’d been eavesdropping came back to him. Something about sacrificing for your child. Even if it meant giving up the one you love. Katie had agreed with his mother.

  Is that what she was doing? Giving up the man she loved for the sake of her child?

  Ron had done that.

  Could Darío be that strong? Give up Katie for their child? It wasn’t quite the same. Darío knew he’d be a good father if he and Katie stayed together. This was about Katie loving Ron, not Darío. About being in a marriage with a woman he loved desperately, who cared for him, but did not love him back.

  Could he set her free to be with the man she loved to raise his child with Ron?

  She shifted in her sleep, her eyes fluttered open. She gave him a soft smile, then drifted back to sleep.

  He moved away from her, heading for the bathroom.

  She was everything to him. And he had to give her up.

  “What are your plans for the day?” Katie asked him over breakfast. They were fending for themselves, Sofia gone to one of her women’s group meetings. Katie made them omelets.

  She didn’t bring up her disappointment that Darío hadn’t awakened her last night when he’d come to bed. What was one night, after all, in the lifetime of nights they had ahead of them.

  He put down his fork, pushed the half-eaten omelet away. Oh, oh, this wasn’t going to be good.

  She put her own fork down, grabbed the napkin in her lap as if to brace herself.

  “Actually, I thought maybe we could look into flights for you to go home,” he said.

  He was watching her carefully, but for what she didn’t know. So, she kept her face passive, serene, even though she was dying inside.

  “Go home?”

  “Sî.”

  “Alone?”

  “Sî. I have the Spanish Open next week, I must stay.”

  “And then you’ll come over?”

  He shook his head and she felt a little piece of her heart shake off as well. It must have shown in her eyes, because he reached across for her hand. “Gata,” he said softly, like he did when they made love.

  She kept her hands where they were, needing to hear him out. He leaned back in his chair, let out a heavy sigh. She would have done anything for him to smile that lopsided smile of his, for his warm brown eyes to shine. But neither happened.

  He looked away from her, couldn’t meet her eyes.

  Oh God, he was dumping her. She was being dumped again. And even though they’d been together so short a time, even though she’d only known him five months, the hurt she felt this time cut so much deeper than it had with Ron.

  He must have realized she was in love with him. She’d tried to hide it, but how could she hide her feelings that well? The thought of marriage for the baby, with a mutual attraction and caring for each other was one thing. But a marriage where she loved him desperately was not what Darío had signed on for.

  So he was pulling out.

  “I see,” she said, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. “But you’ll be coming back to the States for the Tour Championship?”

  He nodded. “Sî, I have committed to play there.”

  “And you would never break a commitment, would you?” Her voice sounded shrill, even to herself.

  He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. He waited till she looked at him. “I am committed to our child, Katie. I have been since the moment you told me you were pregnant.”

  To the child. Not to Katie. But if she was honest with herself, it was what she’d first proposed to him, when she’d brought the papers to him in Memphis. That they do what was best for the child. It was she that had said being in a loveless marriage was not the best option.

  But it wouldn’t be loveless now, at least not on her part.

  She loved him. But he didn’t love her. She was only a commitment to him. A noble gesture. The honorable thing to do.

  She had to let him go if that’s what he wanted.


  “Perhaps you were right, those months ago in Memphis. Perhaps our child would be better off raised by you in the Copper Country. I have now spent some time there, with your friends, your family. I know our child would be happy there, as you were.”

  “And your part in our lives?”

  “That doesn’t have to be decided now,” he said. She wanted to scratch his eyes out for being so calm, cool.

  She needed to be away from him. She couldn’t keep herself from falling apart and that wouldn’t help the situation. She rose to leave, and like the gentleman he was, he rose also. She waved him back to his seat. “Sit. Sit. I’m going to go pack.”

  “I did not mean that you should leave today,” he said.

  “I might as well. Maybe I can be some help to Alison while she gets things with her parents squared away.”

  “Yes, of course. Alison. You’d want to be with her now.”

  There was something in his voice…sarcasm? But that was so unlike Darío. She stared at him a moment, trying to read his face, but he was impassive. Like he was on the course. Focused. Determined. You never really knew what he was thinking, what he was feeling inside.

  As if the airlines were in cahoots with Darío to get her out of the country as quickly as possible, there was an open seat that afternoon. The ride to the airport was excruciating. The only saving grace was that Sofia hadn’t come home before they left. Katie didn’t know how she’d explain she was leaving to the woman whom she told only yesterday how much she loved Darío.

  That seemed like months ago, not just yesterday.

  Their goodbye was dismal. An awkward hug, a chaste kiss on both cheeks. Not the bone-melting kisses Darío had given her only nights ago.

  Katie held it together at the gate, got situated in her seat, received a blanket and pillow from the flight attendant, then proceeded to cry the entire flight home.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.

  - Grantland Rice, sportswriter

  Binky was shaking his head. Again. It seemed that’s all the wiry man had done since Darío began his tale of why Katie was not with him in Madrid for the Spanish Open.