With the Last Goodbye

by Len Webster

  “Max, is Josie okay?” The concern in Ally’s voice had him shaking his head. “What? We should go visit—”

  “You can’t,” he said, interrupting her.

  “Why not?” he heard Clara ask behind him, indicating that she had arrived.

  He glanced over his shoulder to find his best friend, Noel, and his wife behind him.

  “Max, why can’t we see her?” Clara asked, her light brown eyes flashed with fear.

  “Take a seat,” he instructed as he straightened his back and took a deep breath, watching as Clara and Noel quickly sat at the table.

  Clara was Josie’s friend. They had worked at the Little Bakery on Little Collins Street together. Clara was the reason Josie had come into his life. She had partnered them up at the wedding. And to this day, re-meeting Josephine Faulkner had truly been the best day of his life.

  That bridge.

  That moment.

  Her question of whether he was okay would stay with him.

  “Well?” Stevie asked, sounding just as anxious as before.

  “She’s gone.”

  “WHAT?” everyone besides Max at the table blurted out.

  “What do you mean, ‘she’s gone’?” Julian asked.

  He let out a heavy sigh as he glanced down at his phone on the table. He half-expected to see her name flash across his screen, but it didn’t, and it couldn’t. She was already on her flight. Already in the air, heading to her first layover in Dubai.

  “Her father asked her to go to Berlin with him. I took her to the airport. Her flight’s already taken off,” he explained.

  He glanced over to find Clara’s face consumed with shock. “She just buried her mother, and her father asked her to go to Germany with him? Are you serious? And you just let her?”

  “He’s her only family, Clara. She had to go. She made a promise to her mother—”

  “And Stella agreed to this?” Clara shouted in disbelief.

  “Baby,” Noel said in a gentle voice next to her.

  Clara shook her head. “I’ve known Josie for years, Noel. I can’t believe she’d go.”

  “She’s grieving,” her husband said.

  “Oh, God,” she whispered. “I can’t believe I just got so angry with her. She’s hated her father for years. I thought … I guess she wants a relationship with him since he’s …” Clara sighed. “I’m so sorry, Max.”

  “Me, too,” he breathed.

  “So what are you going to do?” Ally asked next to him.

  What am I going to do?

  “I don’t know,” he confessed. “I just know that I have to be here for her when she comes back, and that I have to be on the other side of her phone calls when she needs me. I get that you’re angry, Clara. I’m angry, too. But knowing everything that I do about her, she needs this. And when she messages you, any of you, please just support her and tell her you understand. She felt horrible that she didn’t get to say goodbye. And she also wanted me to let you all know that she appreciated you all coming to the funeral yesterday.”

  He scanned his group of friends and saw the smiles they offered him.

  It was Julian who said, “You love her, we love her. We were there to support you, too, Max.”

  He waited.

  At nine a.m., he sat on his bed and waited.

  At ten a.m., he sat at his dining table and looked out the windows at the lovely morning view he had of the city. A view Josephine loved. It had been well over sixteen hours since he last saw her, and he was already struggling. He had to find a way to go visit her in Berlin. If she didn’t come home by December, he would go to Germany to see her. He couldn’t imagine the Christmas holidays without her. Stella had mentioned to him that Josie’s birthday was December sixteenth. That was what he’d focus his time on—finding a way to see her.

  At fifteen past ten, his phone vibrated, and he quickly swiped it off the glass table, answering her call the moment he saw that it was her.

  “Josephine?”

  There was silence.

  It was too quiet.

  “Hey,” Josie finally said. “Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I was walking by this area that has like seats but they’re like sunbeds. People were sleeping, so I didn’t want my voice to travel until I got to the hotel. How are you?”

  She sounded tired.

  “I’m good now you’ve called. What time is it in Dubai?”

  “Just after three a.m.,” she answered. “I’m almost at my room. Can you believe it costs like five hundred dollars a night for a decent room? It’s insane.”

  He chuckled. “God, it’s so good to hear your voice. How was your flight? And did you find your dad?”

  “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice, too. The flight attendant saw my distress because I couldn’t stop crying during take-off. She gave me bottles of vodka to knock me out. Oh, yeah, I found him. He already checked us into separate rooms.”

  Max got out of his chair and walked back into his bedroom. He climbed back into bed and rested his back against the headboard, stretching out his legs.

  “Are you tired?” he asked.

  “Not really. I slept for almost all of the flight. Oh, hang on a second, Max. I just got to my hotel room,” she said and mumbled something under her breath. Then he heard a beep. “Okay, sorry, I’m back.”

  “Can we FaceTime?”

  “Umm … I think they have Wi-Fi. Let me just check … They do. Can I call you back after I shower?”

  “Sure.”

  “Okay, I’ll be—”

  “Josephine,” he breathed.

  “Yes, Max?”

  “I miss you so much.”

  She let out a sigh. “I miss you, too. Let me shower and …”

  His chest heaved at the way her voice softened. “And?”

  “… not put clothes on until after.”

  “Fuck,” he groaned. “God, I miss you. Go shower.”

  She let out a low laugh. “First, have you written me that email?”

  “It’s in my draft box.” He had spent all night writing it after he’d gotten home from PJ’s. It was nice being with his best friends, but they couldn’t take away his pain. They couldn’t stop him from missing Josephine.

  “My flight to London is only like seven hours. So that’s what I’ll be looking forward to. Okay, I’m hanging up now. I’ll see you in a few. I love you, Maxwell.”

  Josephine would like to FaceTime

  Max pressed the accept button and waited while the call connected. It had been twenty minutes since their last call. A call which he presumed cost her a small fortune. He’d have to start calling her to avoid the costs. He’d be happy to pay thousands if it meant he could hear her voice when she needed him. But he knew there were more affordable ways for them. He knew of apps. Hell, even Facebook had a call function on its Messenger app. But reception would play a key in whether they’d be using apps or phone calls when she landed in Berlin.

  Suddenly, Josephine’s beautiful face consumed his screen. Her hair was still wet, but she had that glow about her. She was remarkably stunning. The light above her brightened her blue eyes, and the smile on her face had his heart leaping for her.

  “Hey,” she said with a yawn. “Sorry.”

  He smiled. “You’re tired,” he pointed out.

  She hummed as she pulled back the white bathrobe to expose a shoulder. “I’m not,” she insisted as Max glanced down to see the swell of her breast. She was a tease. A terrible, beautiful tease. Then she pushed the robe from her other shoulder and slowly tilted the camera so he could see her naked breasts. Her pink nipples were taut and made his need intensify. He knew what those perfect nipples felt like against his fingers, tongue, and his bare chest when he made love to her. It was torture to know and be unable to do anything with that knowledge.

  “Maxwell,” she whispered, camera still pointed at her chest.

  His palm drifted south and cupped his hard erection. God, he was so hard for her. Hard knowing she
was able to turn him on so much even though she was so far away.

  Then he heard her yawn once again, and he let out a soft sigh. His hand fell away from his hard-on as he said, “Josephine, I need to see your face, love.”

  His screen filled with her face once again, and he saw the tiredness in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re tired.”

  “I’m not,” she argued.

  This time, he chuckled. FaceTime sex would have to wait until she got sorted in Berlin and got over jet lag. “You need to sleep before your next flight.”

  Sighing, she righted her robe back onto her shoulders. “You’re right. I’ll talk to you when I arrive in London?”

  He nodded. “If you have time. If not, call me when you get to Berlin.”

  “It won’t be too late?” The concern on her face was adorable.

  “No. Never for you. Get some sleep, Josephine. I love you.”

  She smiled. Soft and lazy. But he knew she was still pretending. Still grieving over the death of her mother.

  “I love you, too,” she said, then ended the call.

  Max set his phone beside him and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. He knew he would need another shower to get rid of his erection, but right now, his mind thought of ways he could bring her home. Or at the very least, visit her in Berlin.

  FaceTime sex was not the best idea Josie had ever had.

  Her emotions were everywhere.

  She had found herself in the bathroom stall crying hysterically after she saw a passenger with a French flag patch on his bag—remembering the trip she would never take with her mother. Once she stopped crying, she somehow pulled herself together to find her father and pretend to be excited to be away from Melbourne and Max. But just when she thought she couldn’t pretend, excitement riddled her body.

  She was broken.

  It was the only way to describe how she felt.

  She felt too guilty for being happy with Max.

  She felt too horrible for being so angry with her mother for leaving her.

  And then she spoke to Max, and suddenly, she was okay again. He made her better. He made her understand her pain. Then she had this insatiable need for him. But tiredness thankfully won when Max ended any chances of them having phone sex. It was a first for Josie. She had never done it before. She wasn’t even sure she was being sexy. She would thank the heavens Max ended it.

  Before her flight to London, she had breakfast with her father. They chatted about current affairs and what Heidi and Angelika were like. He told her of all his daughters’ sweet traits. He spoke of how he hoped she would stay until the new year. To experience the first flakes of snow. And to celebrate her twenty-third birthday with him. Josie only smiled and shovelled her scrambled eggs into her mouth. The bed she had slept on was worth the amount of money her father had paid. She had slept wonderfully, and it was exactly what she needed.

  It had taken just over eight hours to land in London.

  Their plane was put into a holding pattern for so long, Josie fell asleep. Her father had shaken her lightly to tell her they made it to England. During the flight, Josie tried to watch a few movies, but she opted instead to reach for her phone and swipe through her pictures. She adjusted her seat to lie flat and ensured the partition was up for privacy. Staring at the pictures she had of her and her mother, she silently cried. That grief she had tried to run away from had finally caught up with her. And it felt right. She was supposed to be sad. She had just buried her mother forty-eight hours ago. Happiness was the last thing she deserved when her signature had ended her mother’s life.

  Stop, Josephine.

  You shouldn’t blame yourself.

  She flinched.

  It wasn’t her thoughts.

  No.

  She heard Max’s sweet voice tell her.

  “Are you all right?” her father asked as they stepped off the train to the international connections terminal.

  She nodded. “Yeah, just overslept on that flight, I think,” she lied.

  She missed her mother.

  She missed her boyfriend.

  She missed her best friend.

  She even missed her best friend’s boyfriend.

  With each hour that passed, she was even further away from them.

  “Okay. The gate is this way.”

  Josie nodded and followed her father, dragging her carry-on suitcase behind her. They followed the arrows and signs, avoiding other passengers as they finally made it to their British Airways gate for their flight to Berlin. Josie spotted empty seats at the gate and headed towards them, this time her father following. When she sat down, she let out a sigh of relief.

  Her father chuckled as he shoved his passport and boarding pass into his briefcase. She asked him why he had dressed so formally for their flight, and he had said that although his trip to Australia wasn’t an official trip, he still had to represent his title and country professionally.

  “I’m going to grab a cup of coffee. Did you want anything?”

  Josie fished her phone from her handbag on top of her case. She mulled his question over before she said, “A hot chocolate and any newspaper they have, please,” as she switched on her phone.

  “Sure. I won’t be too long,” he promised and then turned and began to walk towards the stores they had passed on the way to the gate.

  She felt her phone vibrate as it turned on, and she typed in her code to unlock the screen. Since she would only be in London for a few hours, she turned on her Wi-Fi and connected to the airport’s free Wi-Fi. Once it was up and running, she felt her phone vibrate with the notifications she had missed during her flight. She ignored them all and opened her email app. To her surprise, she had several from her university in her student inbox. Curious, she pressed on the email sent from Jason, her legal ethics and practice tutor.

  To: jfau5@student.deakin.edu.au

  From: jasonsilverman@deakin.edu.au

  Subject: ** IMPORTANT ** JOSIE, READ THIS!

  Josie,

  I spoke to Gordon the other day, and he informed me of the sad news of your mother’s funeral. When Gordon told me, I was shocked. I had no idea that your mother had cancer for so long. So it also came as a surprise on Monday when your other tutors approached me and asked if I had any idea.

  I am so sorry, Josie.

  I wish you had come to me.

  I now understand your recent behavioural changes. You had a lot more pressure than assignments and upcoming exams.

  I also wanted to apologise for thrusting that appointment with Gordon Sheridan on you like that. He informed me that you were uncomfortable because of your romantic ties to his son. Gordon tells me he offered you a position, but you turned him down. I commend you on your professionalism despite being put in such a position. I really do believe in your talents, Josie, and if Gordon Sheridan Lawyers isn’t for you someday, that is all right. Because I know you will make a remarkable lawyer that any firm would want.

  Sometimes, life gives us the unexpected and the worst.

  Sometimes, we feel like the world is against us and no one is on our side.

  But I’m on your side, Josie.

  Your tutors and I have always been on your side.

  We spoke to the student board and the chancellor about your exams. I’m pleased to say that you were granted special consideration and would not receive the automatic unit failures for not attending your exams. Your semester’s final grade will be determined by your assignments handed in and your overall participation.

  And I can honestly say, you did not fail any units this semester, Josie, and that you maintained your high distinction average. Your place at Deakin is guaranteed, and if you wish to take some time off your degree, you have our full support.

  I haven’t told Gordon any of this as I have a duty of care to your confidentiality.

  I fought hard for your special consideration because I believe in the student that you are and the lawyer you will be.


  I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, Josie.

  I had no idea.

  My thoughts are with you.

  Please contact me at any time.

  Jason.

  Josie blinked away her tears. Her tutors fought for her to remain at the university. She hadn’t asked them to fight for her. She hadn’t even told any of them that her mother had died. She knew she could get some form of special consideration, but she had no idea that she wouldn’t need to take her exams for those units. She was sure that, in other cases, they wouldn’t allow it. She really did owe her academic future to Jason and her tutors. Her heart was relieved that she could still realise her dream someday. It was all full with appreciation as she pressed reply. She could wait until she made it to Berlin, but Jason had to know how thankful she was for all that he had done for her.

  To: jasonsilverman@deakin.edu.au

  From: jfau5@student.deakin.edu.au

  Re: ** IMPORTANT ** JOSIE, READ THIS!

  Dear Jason,

  I have no words to express my gratitude for what you and all my tutors have done for me. You all believe in me when I have little to believe in.

  I apologise for never coming to you to tell you how much I was struggling. A part of me didn’t want to tell you because it meant my mother’s cancer was real. And a lot of me knew it was my pride. That if I couldn’t handle law school and take care of my sick mother, then how was I going to make it as a lawyer?

  I wanted to tell you.

  I made it to your office one day, but I just couldn’t.

  And then you stuck your neck out for me and got me an interview with the best law firm in the state, and it happened to be Gordon Sheridan. I didn’t want to let you down. You were one of only a few in my life who has never disappointed me, and I didn’t want to disappoint you. So that’s why I went. Not because I wanted the placement, but because I wanted to show you my appreciation for your kindness.

  Yes, I’m in love with Gordon’s son.

  He is the very reason I did better in my assignments.

  He tutored me, and I didn’t want his offer to help me find a placement at his father’s firm. So when you got me that interview, it felt like I actually deserved it—not that Max didn’t think I deserved it, and that it was a pity placement.