The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible
Page 39
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McClellan, Ruth. An Incredible Journey. Lynchburg, Va.: Liberty University, 2006.
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Mennonite Confession of Faith. Crockett, Ky.: Rod and Staff Publishers, 1963.
Metzger, Bruce, and Michael D. Coogan, eds. The Oxford Companion to the Bible. New York: Oxford University Press, 1993.
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Nicolson, Adam. God's Secretaries. New York: HarperCollins, 2003.
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Pagels, Elaine. Adam, Eve and the Serpent. New York: Vintage, 1989. Pakkala, Lorraine. Yea God! Trumansburg, N.Y.: Crossing Press, 1980. Perkins, Bill. When Good Men Are Tempted. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan,
1997.
Phillips, Kevin. American Theocracy. New York: Viking Penguin, 2006. Priolo, Lou. Teach Them Diligently. Woodruff, S.C.: Timeless Texts, 1977.
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Acknowledgments
The Bible says to give thanks (Psalms 44:8), so I hope you'll forgive me if I get a little carried away.
Thanks to my editor Marysue Rucci at Simon & Schuster, who is a joy to work with--passionate, generous, and wise.
I'm grateful to my agent Sloan Harris at ICM, who insists on breaking his profession's stereotype by being a complete mensch.
I'm indebted to Rob Weisbach, a brilliant editor and great friend without whom I would not be doing this for a living.
There's an astounding number of people to thank at Simon & Schuster for their unrivaled support: David Rosenthal, the capo di tutti capi, as well as Victoria Meyer, Aileen Boyle, Tracey Guest, Julia Prosser, Leah Wasielewski, Jackie Seow, Marcella Berger, Marie Florio, Lisa Healy, and my friendly taskmaster, Ginny Smith.
If this were an awards show, I'm guessing I'd be played off right about now. But I've got plenty more. My spiritual advisory board consisted of the following insightful and kind people: Elton Richards, Andy Cohen, Marsha Marks (the Christian aunt I never had), Julie Galambush, David Bossman, David Cohen, Nathaniel Deutsch (who understood my project better than I did), Roger Bennett, Fay Landis, Rev. Stan Duncan, Robbie Harris, Azriel Hirsch, Oded Borowski, Father Michel Lavoie, Darrell Bock, Dean Hubbard, Bill Berkowitz, Calum Carmichael, Michael Berenbaum, Glen Hoptman, Benyamin Cohen, Joseph Ginzberg, Greg Frier, Eddy Portnoy, and Vincent Crapanzano.
Thanks to all those who read the manuscript and gave me their editorial wisdom, namely: Lizzie Berne DeGear, Peter Griffin, Andrew Lund (who read it twice!), Chad Millman, Brian Frazer, Neely Harris (who used a highlighter), Carolyn Bernstein, Rob Kurson, Albert Kim, Ken Jennings (yes, as in the Ken Jennings of Jeopardy!), Shannon Barr, Mark Warren, Elicia Pomeroy (who kindly donated a metaphor), Stephen Friedman, Sam Davidoff, Laura Bittner, Martin Zuckerman, Mark Warren, Uri Grezemkovsky, Paul Mandell, Jennifer Landis, Burt Cohen, and Melanie Davis.
I'm grateful to David Granger of Esquire, a visonary editor (who didn't get mad when I slacked off on my Esquire duties for three months--maybe four). And to Josie Freedman of ICM, who is the female version of a mensch, whatever that is called, as well as Liz Farrell, Michael McCarthy, and Kristyn Keene.
350 Acknowledgments
Thanks to Victor
Ozols, a researcher/adviser whose attention to detail is matched by his big vision.
Thanks to former S&S'er Geoff Kloske, who bought the book and gave me good advice on sandals.
Thanks to Ivan Hrazdira, who gave me excellent insights on biblical banking. Laurie Davis, who was invaluable in helping me release debt. Kevin Roose, my slave/intern (I'm telling you, the kid is going places). Justin Balding and Jamie Novogrod for making images. Thomas Wheatley and Buddy Kite for their research. To Ruth Feinberg for her insights into temptation and impurity. And the madcap minds of Jay Reiss and Jeremy Kleiner.
I'm especially grateful to my family, who instilled in me Judeo-Christian values (without the explicity Judeo-Christian parts): my parents, my sister, her husband, Willy, and my grandfather. Also thanks to my aunts Kate and Marti, who may be on opposite ends of the theological spectrum, but who are both wonderful people.
And, of course, thank you to Julie, my beshert. And to my sons, Jasper, Zane, and Lucas.
Index
Page numbers in italics refer to illustrations. Page numbers beginning with 335 refer to notes.
Aaron, 235
abominations, see specific sins and forbidden items
abortion issue, 6
biblical support sought by each side in, 308-9, 340-41
creationists on, 59
Abraham, 339
near sacrifice of Isaac by, 109, 164,
197, 218
as one of history's most diligent
hosts, 303
pioneering circumcisions of, 319 Sarah's late pregnancy
accomplished by, 19
Sodom's fate negotiated by, 126,
127-28
starting the day with, 141
wife introduced to Pharaoh as
sister of, 144
Absalom, 230
fatal hairstyle of, 181
Acts of the Apostles:
on abstaining from blood, 76 on blessedness of giving, 121 Adam:
creation of, 56
God's concern about solitude of,
213, 322
God's first command to, 19 Adam and Eve:
AJ's probable punishment of
(moving up their bedtime, maybe a stern warning, etc.),
41
creationist questioned about, 58 "family of man" as descending
from, 107, 146
vegetarianism of, 307
see also Eden, Garden of; Eve Adam's etrog, 79
adoration, prayers of, 95
adulterers, adultery, 135-38, 231 committed by just looking
lustfully, 286
Israelite concept of, 135
polygamy vs., 135-38
stoning (or severely pebbling) of,
4, 91-94, 293
trial and humane execution of, 94 in Upper West Side, 92-93
see also specific adulterers
agnosticism, 4-5, 28, 38, 52, 67, 80,
94, 192, 248, 313
AIDS:
circumcision seen reducing risk
of, 318
leprosy in Jesus' time compared
with, 328
airport security, El Al, beard and bar
mitzvah among issues at, 3,
209
Aish HaTorah, 112
Al-Aqsa Mosque, 190
Alba, Jessica, in stash-away magazine
pile, 130
Albright, Madeleine, speaking fee of, 28
alcohol, Bible's uncertain stance on, 231-33, 339
Alexander, 131-32
Allen, Woody, on what the heart wants, 28
"Amazing Grace," 34, 214
Amazon.com, 9, 15, 128, 151, 241 American Beauty, 153
American Bible Society, Bible study class in back room of, 283 American Theocracy (Phillips), 335 Amish, 11, 30-35, 74, 94, 157, 168
idolatry avoided by, 30, 104
jokes and singing of, 7, 32, 33, 34, 214
Old and New Testaments
followed by, 30
Ordnung obeyed by, 30-31
religion peacefully evolving among, 34-35
Rollerblading and baseball
observed among, 34-35 Ammon, incestuous and probable spelean conception of, 233 Amos, on justice, 37, 88
Anderson, Pamela, icebreaker role of, 216
Angier, Natalie, on Bible's X-rated language, 282, 340
animals, kindness to, 162, 185-88
see also food
animal sacrifice, 8, 20, 37, 110
allowed only in Jerusalem Temple, 160, 161
ancient relevance of, 48, 160
Christian nullification of, 12, 47
discussed near ritual chickens awaiting their moment, 161-62
of Passover lamb, 211, 234
of perfect red heifer, 188
Samaritans abiding with, 218
of scapegoat, 161-62
Third Temple to bring restoration of, 190
animal skins, Adam and Eve clothed in, 41
Answers in Genesis (AiG), 56-63 book shop of, 59, 62
giving benefit of the doubt to,
107-8
see also creationism
Antichrist, planning for arrival of,
189, 191
Antiochus, 121
anti-Trinitarianism, 75
Apocalypse, 188-92
AJ and his father glimpsed during,
71, 337
how near we may be to, 190-91 literalist vs. allegorical view of,
191-92
why the red heifer is a key to,
188-90, 338
Apocrypha, 121, 337
Aristocrats, The, 17-18
Ark of the Covenant, 84
Armageddon, expected on schedule
or sooner, 75
Armstrong, Karen, 183, 277-78, 336 Arquette, David, suppressing cheap
joke at expense of, 251
atheists, ingathering of, 96-98
ATM machines:
making rude gestures at, 81
urban "harvesting" equated with
making withdrawals from, 167
Baal cults, temptation of, 96
Babylonian rule, prophetic messages on, 89
Bachman, Andy, 13, 36-37
AJ urged to read the Prophets by, 37, 88
bad-mouthing, permissible types of, 100
bar mitzvahs:
thematic flights at, 325
zoning out at, 4
bathing, sexual activity followed with, 8, 240, 339
bathroom going, outdoor,
directionality in, 143
bathroom Sabbath, 123-25
falling doorknob syndrome as cause of, 123
outside world as oblivious to, 124 as "sanctuary in time," 124-25
bat mitzvah, epiphanic dancing at, 325-26
Battle for God, The (Armstrong), 277
Baywatch, 216
beard (AJ's), iv, 2
Christian view of, 254-55
indie record producer phase of, 108
as itchy and uneven on day seven, 28
professorial phase of, 4
Rosario Dawson as fan of, 133 summary of woes ascribed to, 3 traumatic removal of, 329-31 "under or over the covers," 106 unexpected directions taken by, 88
unjust demotion in soup kitchen caused by, 81-82
when 60 percent of AJ's face was covered by, 150, 180
beards:
Amish, 30
ex-uncle's colloquy on, 223
beds, unclean, avoidance of, 51
being fruitful and multiplying, 3 avoiding topic of, 18-19
as Bible's Alpha Rule, 19
failed attempts at, 18-20, 48-52 IVF seen as way to go in, 116-18, 146-47
Malthusian issue in, 159
as moral imperative, 117