Defiant Surrender

by Tamara Gill

  Maddie sighed in relief. “Thank God.”

  “You must attend mass at dawn, followed by your prayers. Then mid-morning prayers before your midday meal. Evening prayer is held before supper in the hall. Followed by your bedtime prayers.”

  Maddie laughed. “You’re joking, right? I have to pray four times a day!” She shook her head in disbelief. “Mistress Rhode, I’m not even christened.”

  “Well, consider yourself so now, m’lady. Now, you had best leave, supper is about to be served.”

  Oh gosh, and Maddie thought the mirror water bowl was ridiculous.

  *

  Maddie basked in the warmth that seeped into her bones from the well-stoked fire situated behind the raised dais she now sat. She watched, seated like a queen over the absurd proceedings in the hall. The pomp and ceremony almost made her laugh. Really, it was too much for her common soul. Her husband had no such reactions; he was completely in his element. She peeked at his handsome features and strong jaw, which tonight sported a five o’clock shadow. His hair was newly cut to the cropped style the Normans favored. William fit the part of medieval lord to a tee, strong, hard and unforgivably handsome. He spoke with authority and power to his knights and their ladies seated at the table.

  The meal was delicious. Almost every bird in existence was served: pheasant, chicken, duck, and turkey adorned the table along with fruits and cheeses and the ever-present mead. Maddie had grown accustomed to the beverage. Although she preferred it made with hops, which was much more palatable as the end-product tasted like beer.

  She studied the hall, and noted the knights who she presumed to be her own. Although they ate and spoke to everyone, their reserved interactions with her husband’s men were obvious. An air of unease floated in the air and Maddie, not for the first time, wondered why.

  “Are you enjoying yourself, Lady Madeline?”

  Maddie looked to William and tried to form a smile, the gesture a half-hearted effort. “Of course, my lord, why wouldn’t I? I am home, back within the bosom of my own people. How could I not be content?”

  “Is that how you inform me you are not content at Kingston, my dear?”

  “Please do not call me by such endearments, I do believe their falseness will make me vomit,” she said, thanking a servant as they handed her some bread, before looking back at her incredulous husband.

  “Pray tell me, Lord William, how do you like my home? Is it everything promised upon marriage to a rich man’s daughter?”

  “No, I find not only the home but its occupants lack taste and refinement.”

  “Well, that is a shame. If you dislike it so much, maybe you should leave and return to Lady Veronica, who no doubt misses you greatly. Ah, but…” she said, tapping her finger against her lip, “alas, perhaps not. She’s undoubtedly otherwise occupied bedding every other male within your walls while you’re away. You know what they say, when the cat is away the mice—”

  “You are lucky, Lady Madeline, that no one can hear your vulgar words. You may be a powerful baron’s daughter but you mouth is unusually common.”

  “I resent that greatly, my lord. In fact, you have insulted me. Please do not speak to me again—ever,” she said, looking him dead in the eye and not sounding at all wounded by his words. It really was quite entertaining vexing the man. She supposed she could push him too far one day and end up dead. But better dead than caught for life in this forsaken time. She chewed her food and wondered if that was how she could return home? If something were to happen to her here would she then be catapulted back through time? Maddie pursed her lips as the thought took hold. Her now bristling husband beside her, completely forgotten.

  “When we return to our quarters tonight, I would like a word with you, Lady Madeline. So you will unlock the connecting door and allow me entry. Do not fear that I will ravish you, my minds repulsed at the thought of such an activity.”

  Maddie inclined her head in what she hoped was a regal gesture, while her knees trembled beneath the table. She didn’t want him in her room, or anywhere near her for that matter. Somehow, he brought out the worst in her, always caused her to bristle. Too male, too controlling and the masculine pride was suffocating in the extreme. And, over the days and weeks since their marriage, she had poked fun and distaste at his every word or gesture. Perhaps he was not always so vile, but as he allowed his mistress to reside with them, it was too much for her twenty-first century pride to allow. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t staying, it was wrong of him to impose such behaviors on whoever he married.

  “As you wish, my lord.”

  “I do,” he said, before he turned and summoned a servant for more wine.

  Maddie finished her meal, stood and withdrew from the room. She ignored the startled faces of her people when she pushed back her own chair. While she was able, she would do that herself, no matter what anyone else thought. She walked upstairs, and allowed the argument with William to recede in her mind. Mistress Rhode had promised her earlier today that she could take a bath in her room after supper. Maddie had thought to use the communal bathing chamber, but then changed her mind. At least in her room she could lock her doors and take as long as she’d like.

  A little later, she sank within the warm scented water and sighed in pleasure. The tub was round, not overly large but big enough to submerge herself, if she bent her knees. Mistress Rhode had insisted on washing her hair before Maddie convinced her she could well and truly dry and dress herself, and dismissed her dear maid for the night.

  Maddie relaxed back in the bath, with her knees and shoulders the only parts uncovered by water. Sleep beckoned with the help of the lavender scent that wafted from the water. All too soon, the water cooled and Maddie stirred to get out. As she reached for her towel, she cringed when her hands met nothing but wood. She swore and looked for the elusive linen before seeing it lying on her bed.

  Nothing else for it, she stood and allowed the excess water to run from her skin. Just as she stepped upon the bear skin rug, she gasped as her door flew open and her husband burst in. They stood rooted on the spot; Maddie from incredulity and William, it seemed, from sheer shock. Maddie refused to panic; instead, she walked as casually as she could, under the circumstances, to the bed and grabbed her towel. She shook it out, before folding it around her body and facing him.

  “If you do not mind, my lord, I would prefer no one else to see my state of undress.”

  “Why did you not leave the connecting door unlocked…wife?”

  She sighed at his menacing tone. “It was an honest mistake. I merely forgot.” She walked over to the fire for warmth, unwilling to dress with him in her room.

  “Now that you are here, Lord William, what was it you wanted to discuss?”

  “Is that all the excuse I’m to hear? A mere mistake?” He laughed the sound mocking as he joined her at the hearth. “Come, my lady, do you deny this plan to entrap me with your charms?”

  Maddie frowned and looked up at him as she dried her hair. “Entrap you? Ahh,” she smiled. “You think highly of yourself, Lord William. You think I left the main passageway door unlocked so you would storm in without knocking and find me unclothed and in a bath. Come now, we are married and I am not ashamed of my body, but even I wouldn’t stoop to sleep with you. As far as I’m concerned we are married in name only, you take your pleasure elsewhere and no doubt, eventually, so will I. And I can guarantee you, my lord, it will never be with you.”

  A chill ran down her spine as the last of her words left her lips. William’s face mottled in anger. The change in his mannerisms gave her an overwhelming urge to run. She swallowed her panic as he closed the space between them in lightning speed and pulled her hard against his muscled chest. She froze then gasped as his hands ripped the towel from her body, leaving her as bare as the day she was born. Oh crap, I’m in trouble now.

  His long woolen tunic couldn’t mask the hardness that sat against her stomach. Her chest flattened against his, and she struggled for air
. His large, strong hands flexed against her flesh as they roamed over her body and slid down her back to clasp her buttocks. The stubble on his jaw rubbed against her cheek as he bent down to her neck. She heard the intake of breath, as he smelled her skin. Even she could smell the floral aroma, left from the bath. Maddie shivered, hoping the action was repulsion, but knowing in a small part of her mind that it was in pleasure.

  “I could take you, Lady Madeline. Conquer you so you could never speak to me with such hate and abhorrence again. I could make you want only me.”

  She swallowed as her nipples hardened to tight little peaks. Why was his tunic open? Please God, say she hadn’t done that herself. The coarse black hair tickled her skin and she shivered. Her mouth dried as his hands travelled further between the valley of her thighs. Hot wetness pooled at her core. Maddie fought her desire, hated her reaction to him. His warm breath hitched as he kissed her shoulder. His tongue ran up the length of her neck and caused the most delicious sensations, all of which she tried to ignore.

  He pulled back, his gaze searching, but for what, Maddie didn’t know. She looked at him, unsure of his next move, but secretly hoping he would not stop. She should stop him, should not allow him to seduce her. But as his lips, soft and beckoning, settled over hers, all such thoughts disappeared.

  She moaned when their lips met. Fire ran down her spine, igniting a wild need within. She allowed his tongue to caress hers until she all but clung to him in need. She could feel his hardened penis strain against his clothing. She wanted him. Wanted desperately for release. Wanted to be filled over and over again by this man.

  He nibbled her bottom lip. Maddie opened her eyes and caught his wicked, heated gaze. She clasped his jaw, and pulled him back to kiss her, needing to feel his tongue and lips demand her own. She purred when he pulled her against his engorged member, his mouth suckling her bottom lip in a beckoning manner. Her breath caught in her throat, and William swallowed her moan as his fingers teased the moist apex between her legs. Maddie shuddered.

  How was it possible the man in her arms, the same one who irritated, argued and hated her, could conjure such wants and needs from her body?

  His hand clasped the hair at the nape of her neck in an almost punishing hold, and his kiss turned savage. She whimpered and wrapped her leg around his waist, opening to more of his touch. His chest was hard, all heaving muscle that moved beneath her palm. A man who fought battles to the death and lived in an unforgiving time only made him more desirable. Maddie fumbled with the knot on Williams hose and shivered when his manhood sprung free.

  Her desire for him consumed her and she rubbed against his ample sex seeking release. A fire burned within her soul; a blaze that only William could extinguish. Never had Maddie acted with such wantonness before, but never had she felt such need in her life either. It was a sobering thought.

  William tore away from the kiss and pushed her aside. Maddie stumbled before she righted herself and watched as he stormed from her room. Shocked, she stood still for a moment then without conscious thought threw on her silver surcoat and ran after him. He couldn’t just do that to her, and then leave with no explanation.

  She stepped off the stone stairs in the great hall and caught sight of him heading toward the entrance doors leading to the keep. She hastened to follow him then stopped when she reached the front steps of the castle.

  A pain she shouldn’t feel ran through her paralyzing everything but her vision. She watched incredulous, as the man who, not minutes before had been kissing her, about to make love to her, walked into a cottage behind a young woman. Nausea settled in her stomach. How could she have let him hold and kiss her body as she had? How could she have acted with such stupidity? Maddie wanted to wash away the filth of his touch. At that moment, she could almost feel sorry for Lady Veronica.

  First thing tomorrow, the search for her ring would start in earnest and William could go to hell. Shutting the castle doors, she walked back to her room with renewed vigor and relief. Glad she hadn’t slept with a man who tumbled any woman who stepped before him.

  Back in her room, Maddie clasped the rosary around her neck and looked out the window to the heavens above. The stars bright beyond imagining above the medieval world she now lived. “Please God, get me home,” she said and willed the Almighty to listen to her first ever prayer.

  *

  Madeline’s body—breasts full and high, small delicate waist, hips that flared at just the right angle, long lean legs that went on forever—invited worship. William’s jaw clenched as he fought his body’s desire. He reminded himself yet again, to breathe as he tried to calm his overwhelmed senses. Holy mother of God! He swore into the darkened hall as he made his way outside. What had he done? The nights cooling air did little to fight the overwhelming urge to return to her room. To take her.

  He would not give her what she wanted. Christ, what he wanted. His body roared in protest at denied release. William could not, would not, have her. He breathed hard, his resolve almost crumbling as he remembered her naked flushed, flesh and willing mind.

  But Lady Madeline Vincent was the devil’s spawn. Her father hailed from such origins, after all. His wife by decree, one he abhorred, was not only smart, intelligent and maddening, but also more passionate than he had ever imagined possible of a woman. He clenched his jaw with the realization that from this day on he’d only crave his wife.

  Self-disgust clawed at his flesh. He was a fool, and yet, he couldn’t understand why Madeline had looked wounded when he’d left. If she hated him so much she should not have allowed such liberties. But she had…

  He would not sleep in his chamber tonight. Staying there would almost certainly see him end up in her bed. Instead, William walked out into the bailey and strode down toward his knights’ barracks. A hard bed away from Madeline would be the safest place this nightfall.

  A comely serving wench crossed his path and with a beckoning glance William’s resolve to sleep alone deserted him. No matter what his past promises or current thoughts were, he would at least put himself out of pain. He followed the wench into her cottage, and shut the door on his conscience.

  *

  The morning brought a headache, which Maddie thought would surely split her head in two. Just to roll over in bed made her brain shudder and pound inside her skull. She rubbed her temples and squinted as Mistress Rhode pulled the tapestry away from the window to allow the bright morning light to enter. The cool air swept into her chamber and she shivered from the temperature drop. Maddie pulled a pillow over her head in the hope it would ease the pain.

  “M’lady, are you ailed this morn?”

  Maddie winced as the lid of her clothes chest slammed down somewhere near the hearth. “Yes, I am. In fact, I think I’m dying.” She heard her maid tsk tsk before the straw bed dipped, and the pillow was pulled from her head. Mistress Rhode placed a comforting hand upon her brow.

  “You do not feel warm, m’lady. Is it your stomach that gives you pain?”

  “No,” Maddie said, sitting up. “I have a headache, nothing more.”

  Mistress Rhode stood and walked to the door. “I shall make up a tisane for you. I shan’t be long.”

  Maddie closed her eyes in bliss as the quiet enveloped her once more. The only sound was that of the ocean and its waves as they crashed against the craggy, jagged rocks below. It lulled her to the verge of sleep before she started at her maid’s return.

  “Here we are then, m’lady. Now, it may not be to your taste, but it will rid you of your ailment.”

  She took the cup and stared with trepidation at the soup-like mixture. She smelled the drink and looked back at her maid who stood ready, it seemed, to pour it down her throat.

  “It smells,” she said.

  “Would you rather it smell like mead or wine; a nectar, which fools you into thinking it will leave you feeling well until the next day, after you have drunk too much? You are correct, m’lady, it does smell. But it will rid you of the headache your
sweet, nice tasting drink has given you.”

  Chastised, Maddie took a swallow and sat up coughing. “What on earth is in this?” she gasped, as she tried to catch her breath.

  “An assortment of ingredients my mother always uses. Cabbage, iris, a small dose of comfrey.”

  “And you believe this will help me?”

  Her maid turned away to stoke the fire, a grin upon her lips. “It will, m’lady. Never fear. Now drink!”

  Maddie blocked her nose and drank down, or ate down, the remainder of the broth. It left her unsure whether her queasy stomach was from the hangover or the medicinal drink. She looked out the window from her bed. The day seemed to be clear, despite the late snow that had started to fall over the last week. The chill air raised goose bumps on her arms.

  “You will need a

  mantle today, m’lady, it is quite cool out. Is the green gown to your liking?”

  Maddie turned around, and nodded at the dress her maid held up for inspection. “That’s fine. Whatever you think is best,” she said, ignoring Mistress Rhodes worried frown. She jumped from the bed, and swore as the cold stone met her feet.

  “You missed mass this morn, m’lady.”

  Maddie washed as best she could in the small bowl of tepid water. She sat down on a stool beside the fire and tried to warm herself. “I’m sorry, Mistress Rhode. I’ll go tomorrow. Please make sure I’m woken in time.”

  Her maid helped her into her gown, the warm wool taking some of the chill from her bones. “’Tis a good idea, m’lady. There has been talk among the servants of your noticeable absence.”

  Maddie stood and tied her mantle in place. “What sort of talk?”

  “Naught to concern yourself with, m’lady, as all will be well by day’s end. You will attend mass on the morrow and perhaps ensure at each meal today prayers are held?”

  Maddie met her maids pointed stare with one of her own. “Okay, as long as I don’t have to say anything.” Religion was not her strong point.