Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set

by Vanessa Miller

  “I do love you.”

  He kissed her. “And I am home again.” Elizabeth’s smile grew bigger. He gently touched her face. “Babe, you smile with your heart. Don’t ever change.”

  They arrived at The Rock at nine o’clock on the nose. Elizabeth kissed Kenneth, then ran up to the choir stand. As she sat down, she remembered that she forgot to do that effectual, fervent prayer thing Nina told her about. She found Kenneth in the crowd. He’d found seats for him and the kids. Elizabeth saw two sistahs checking out his ring finger. Kenneth didn’t even notice. He seems all right to me, why mess with perfection? Elizabeth asked herself.

  Beloved, not this way.

  She bowed her head in shame. I’m sorry, Lord. She silently prayed. I know that Your way is the right way. And that Kenneth needs to know You. He needs to feel Your unconditional love, as I do. But, Lord, as I pray for Kenneth to come to You, can You please make sure that he doesn’t get so wrapped up in You that he forgets about the love he has for me? I need him, Lord.

  Elder Woodlow welcomed the congregation to the first service of the day. The praise team stood behind the podium and ushered the people into the Lord’s presence. The congregation joined in as they sang to the Lord. Whether loud or soft, melody, or some ‘what in the world is that noise?’ type stuff, it was all sweet music to God’s ears. This was the time His people came to worship and sing songs to Him. Not all the time, but when the crowd really poured their hearts out to God, and laid their troubles at the altar, God would sweep through the sanctuary like a mighty rushing wind. Several people would fall to their knees. The power of the wind was so strong that some were stretched out on the floor. Healing was in the room.

  Sometimes the spirit in the sanctuary was so awesome the members were sure that the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Ghost filled the hearts of thousands, couldn’t have been much different.

  Elder Hardison informed the crowd that it was ‘Happy Grace Giving Time!!’ A time to worship God through giving. As each member came to the front of the sanctuary, they put their money in the basket and walked back to their seat.

  Corey, the Music Director, looked at Elizabeth. She stood before the congregation and grabbed the microphone. Butterflies were doing the jitterbug throughout her stomach as she opened her mouth and sang:

  “There is no one like the Father,

  there is no one like the Son,

  there is no one like the Holy Ghost.”

  A hush went over the sanctuary floor. Kenneth smiled, enjoying the moment when the world found out what he already knew. His baby could blow.

  But it wasn’t just the fact that Elizabeth could blow that caused half the congregation to stand to their feet. The reason they the congregation stood and glorified God was because the voice that bellowed out concerning the goodness of God was truly anointed.

  “Sing girl!” one of the men in the sanctuary hollered.

  “All right now,” a woman in the back said.

  Most of the congregation lifted holy hands in praise to the Lord as Elizabeth’s angelic voice serenaded Him. When she was done she bowed her head and cried out to the Lord.

  Pastor McKinley received the microphone, as Elizabeth took her place back in the choir. “Yes, you can be set free today. God is looking down on you right now saying, ‘Come brother, come sister, wash and be clean.’” Pastor McKinley went on for another hour, imploring the lost to come to Jesus. By the time his sermon was finished, several worshipers stood at the altar repenting and crying out to God.

  Kenneth squirmed in his seat. He had been attending this church with Elizabeth for a few months, but every time he thought he was ready to commit, something would remind him of his adulterous past. He desired to be a better man than his father, but when the chips were down, he followed in the way of his father anyway. Kenneth was having a hard time forgiving himself for that.

  Did God forgive adulterers? Could he wash and be cleansed of his sins? He wanted answers, but didn’t know who to ask.

  Finally, he just bowed his head and started praying. “Lord, I know I’m no good. I’ve done things that I am truly ashamed of. I don’t know if You can forgive me. But I want to come to You – I want to be a part of Your family.”

  Come.

  Kenneth looked around. No one met his stare, so he knew that only God had said, “Come” to him. A tear rolled down Kenneth’s cheek as he stood up. He threw off the curse of his natural father and took the walk of faith down the aisle. God does forgive adulterers, he thought. With tears barreling down his face, he whispered, “Now I can let your memory rest in peace, Daddy. I’ve won. I’m finally going to be a better man than you were.”

  Elizabeth looked over at Michael. He winked. Her heart filled with joy and the tears were endless. The Bible says that the angels rejoice when one sinner comes to repentance. Elizabeth rejoiced with the angels, but she knew anxiety over the fact that this man no longer belonged exclusively to her. I’ll deal with my feelings, Lord. I am truly happy for Kenneth.

  After service, Nina hugged Kenneth and congratulated him on his new journey with God. She turned to Elizabeth. “I know you must be ecstatic!”

  Elizabeth’s smile was strained. I’m working on it, Lord. You’re going to have to give me a little time to adjust to the fact that I will be sharing my husband again. At least it won’t be with some tack head woman. “I’m thrilled.” She hugged Nina, then looked to the gentleman standing next to her.

  “This is Keith. He gave his life to the Lord last week.” Nina looked at Keith. “Excuse his nervousness. This is the first time he’s been in church since he was a kid.”

  Keith smiled at Elizabeth. “I enjoyed your song. It really touched me.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, we’ll see you later. I want to introduce Keith to Elder Michael.”

  Kenneth put his arm around his wife as Nina and Keith walked away. “So, hon. I’m finally saved, just like you wanted.”

  She smiled at him.

  Kenneth frowned. “No, with your heart. Smile at me with your heart.”

  “Oh, Kenneth, I’m so selfish.” She hugged him tightly. “Of course this is what I wanted. You’re saved, and we will both see the King. That’s the way it should be.”

  ***

  At the same time, Isaac was on the highway coming back from Chicago. He had just picked up another shipment. He no longer had anyone to make his drug run for him, so he did it himself. Cynda had already become part of Spoony’s harem. Isaac had dumped her the moment they arrived back in Dayton from their trip to Chicago. Spoony was only too happy to come to town, picked Cynda up and moved her into his home with Linda, his wife.

  Keith had fallen prey to all of Nina’s Jesus talk and now had too much Holy Ghost to transport drugs. Isaac simply didn’t have the patience to train another girl or find another right hand man. So, here he was, traveling with several kilos, on the highway back to Dayton.

  Isaac needed some down time. He had this incredible urge to be by himself, no business to worry about, no people clamoring around him, and no Nina shoving her God in his face. It was just Isaac and his kilos out on I-70 and that was how he wanted it.

  Just one problem. Five-o was on his back, and had been for the last two miles. Isaac looked into his rearview mirror and watched his nemesis radio in. He assumed it was to trace his license plate. Good luck trying to pin a stolen car on me, Isaac thought. The car he was driving was rented and had been paid for in advance.

  Isaac checked the speedometer. He was doing sixty-seven in a sixty-five. Not bad, just two over the speed limit. Just to be on the safe side, he lowered his speed down to sixty-four. Isaac smirked, “Now what, fool?”

  The police officer hung up and continued his pursuit. Isaac snarled. He was a Black man in a Bentley. That’s the only reason Five-o was hot on his trail. Isaac cursed himself for his own stupidity. When he was at the rental place, he started to pick a less conspicuous car. But the Bentley was calling his name – so he took it.
Now, you would think, more than thirty years after Martin Luther King, Jr. had his dream, a Black man would be able to ride the highway in a Bentley without the police suspecting he was doing something illegal.

  Yeah, okay. He was doing something illegal, but it was the principle of the thing that made Isaac mad. He slammed his fist down on his dashboard. Was anybody listening to Rodney, ‘Can’t we all just get along?’

  Colors flashed him, telling him it was time to pay the piper. Isaac was tempted to floor it and take his chances. Just ride the wave, and see if it dumped him on dry land. But running took energy, and he was kind of tired right now. So he pulled over and waited. The police officer kept his chicken-butt in his car until back up arrived. Then he got out of the car and drew his gun. Yeah, he was walking tall now.

  “Get out of the car with your hands in the air,” a bull horn from the second police car instructed Isaac.

  Isaac did as he was told. “What’s the problem, officer?” He asked with a sneer. “I wasn’t speeding, was I?”

  “Are you Isaac Walker?” The police officer asked, ignoring his question.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Turn around, I need to cuff you.”

  “What’s the charge?”

  “You’re not under arrest – I need to search your car.”

  Did these people think he didn’t know his rights? “Don’t you need a search warrant for that?”

  The officer in the second car got out waving a piece of paper. “Got it right here, Mr. Walker. We received an anonymous tip that you were transporting illegal drugs.”

  Isaac exploded. “You received WHAT?”

  “Just turn around so we can cuff you, sir. This won’t take but a moment.”

  That’s what you think, Isaac thought to himself, this will take years.

  PART 2

  32

  Two years later - 2001

  Marguerite passed away last year. Her heart finally gave out. Nina thought her own heart would shatter from the sheer pain of having to face the loss of yet another loved one. Marguerite had been so good to her. Never had she know a woman more giving and God-centered than the kind lady who’d set aside time to mentor and love her, even when she didn’t deserve Marguerite’s love – she was blessed with it anyway.

  The day Marguerite died, Nina had held vigil over her hospital bed, praying that God would change His mind. Marguerite had lovingly wiped the tears from Nina’s face as she whispered, “I love you, God loves you and you can’t do a thing about it.” Then she took her last breath and went home to glory.

  Nina had wanted to lay down in that hospital bed and die with the woman who’d been like a mother to her. But somehow life kept going, even when you thought you couldn’t possibly face another day. You grew stronger from the pain. That old saying must be true, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ And on the days when Nina felt as if she was too weak to move forward, she reminded herself that God loved her just the way she was, and she couldn’t do a thing about it.

  Nina put her hot chocolate on the coffee table and stretched out on the sofa in the tiny apartment she shared with Lisa. She had a few hours before she needed to be at church so she decided to spend the time relaxing and reading some letters.

  The first letter was from Keith:

  Greetings to my sister in the Lord,

  I hope this letter finds you and Donavan doing well. I know it has not been easy for you these last few years, but my prayer is that you keep trusting in Jesus. He has not forgotten you, nor will He ever fail you.

  My parole hearing went pretty well. I will be released in six months. Can you believe it, Nina? After being locked up for only two years, I’m getting out. God must be in this. I’m anxious to get out of here, and discover the ministry that God has given me. I don’t regret turning myself into the police. Once I gave my life over to Christ, it just didn’t feel right, not owning up to my sins.

  Thanks for the pictures of you and Donavan. That boy is getting big! I sure hate that Isaac has missed these last years with him. Do you ever hear from him? Has your financial situation improved any?

  Tell the brothers in the prison ministry that I really appreciate their support. I can’t wait to get back to the church. I’ve been away a couple of years, but I believe this time has helped me grow stronger in the Lord. My life is very different from the way it was when I was on the streets. I am ready to be used by God. Whatever His mission.

  Peace and grace to you and yours,

  Keith

  Nina smiled as she placed the letter on the table. It was always a joy to hear from Keith. He had a way of making her feel like everything would turn out right. She picked up the next letter, and her smile vanished. This would not be a joy to read. If it was anything like his previous letters, it would be down right insulting. Nina bucked up, and opened the letter from Isaac anyway.

  Nina,

  How many times do I have to tell you to stop writing to me about Jesus? I am sick to death of hearing you go on and on about how Jesus can save me from my sins. Well guess what? I like sinning. So why in the world would I want somebody to take away something I enjoy?

  And while I’m on the subject, let me just clue you in. If this Jesus of yours really existed, do you think I’d be in jail right now? Or would I be out on the streets taking care of my family, like I’m supposed to? You and Donavan are the ones suffering because of my incarceration. Now you tell me why a loving God would allow you to work two jobs, hardly ever see your own son, and then you’re still barely able to put food on the table. It don’t make sense, when I could be out there earning enough money so that you and my son wouldn’t have to worry about nothing.

  But no, your sorry-good-for-nothing-so-called-God let the White man lock me up. And now my family goes hungry while you praise Jesus. Well, I won’t praise Him. I don’t see what’s so worthy to be praised about this Jesus anyway. If He’s so all-powerful, let Him open my prison doors and free me! And to answer your question, yes, I have been reading the Bible, but not for the reason you hope. I intend to find every contradiction in this book of lies and throw them in your silly-God-believing face. I am putting together quite a list right now.

  Give my son a kiss and tell him I love him.

  Isaac,

  Your man, if you would quit being stupid!

  Nina set the letter down and prayed. She prayed for Keith’s strength in the Lord. But more fervently, she prayed that Isaac’s hard heart would be softened.

  33

  The ordination service was tonight.

  Elizabeth searched her closet for something dignified to wear. After all, the wife of an elder would have to be an example for other women. Isn’t that what they told her? As if she didn’t have enough to worry about already, now she had to make sure she didn’t offend anyone.

  She took a black dress off the rack and frowned at it. Red, yellow, and orange looked so much better with her complexion. But no, Kenneth wanted her dressed the same as all the other elders’ wives, who would be in black. Did somebody die, or what? Why did everybody have to be in black? Or maybe that was just the point, maybe the other wives felt just like she did. That this appointment to Elder meant more work for the church and death to her marriage.

  Elizabeth sighed. She hated that she felt this way. But in the two years since Kenneth gave his life to the Lord, she had not been able to shake the feeling that she and her children were being cheated out of time with him. She looked at the dress again and shook her head. “This submission thing is going to kill me.” She threw the dress on the bed and sat down at her vanity.

  Kenneth had taken the girls out for some ice cream to give her some me time before the ordination service. He was a good man, no doubt about that. She had no doubts about the fact that Kenneth loved her and was devoted to her. But she also knew that he loved the Lord with all his being, and this love took more of Kenneth’s time than any extra-marital affair ever did.

  The door to her bedroom opened
and Kenneth peeked his head in. “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey yourself.” She smiled up at him as she pulled the remaining rollers out of her hair.

  “Just wanted to let you know we’re back. I’ll keep the girls downstairs. We’re ready to go whenever you are.” He closed the door.

  Elizabeth’s smile evaporated as she remembered that in the month since she had known about Kenneth’s appointment to Elder, she had not yet congratulated him. She pounded her forehead with her fist. “What is wrong with you?”

  ***

  The ordination service took about an hour. The deed was done. Her husband now had more responsibility to the church and less to his home and family. Erin and Danae gave their dad a hug and ran off to join their friends. Elizabeth stood by her husband’s side. She felt too guilty to look at him, but she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Congratulations, honey. You deserve this,” she told him.

  Kenneth put his index finger under her chin and lifted her face so that she looked him in the eye. “Now was that so hard?”

  “Honestly, Kenneth, I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes.”

  “I do.”

  She gave him a sharp look. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re still afraid that I’m going to abandon my family. At one time you feared another woman would drive me away. Now you’ve got it in your head that my service to God will cause me to abandon you and the kids.”

  Elizabeth’s hands went to her hips. “I think no such thing, Kenneth Underwood.”

  He sighed. Elizabeth saw a look of sadness in his eyes that tore at her heart. “I destroyed your trust, I know that. But I have worked so hard these last few years trying to rebuild what I tore down.”

  “Kenneth, I do trust you, I don’t know what you’re talking…”

  He pressed his finger against her lips. “Every time I’m called away to do something for one of the members in the church, I see the fear in your eyes. Elizabeth, it must be terrible to wonder if your husband’s coming home each time he leaves the house.” His finger fell from her mouth as he turned and walked away.