A Christmas Wish--A Contemporary Erotic Feel Good Christmas Romance (Darkest Fears Christmas Special, Book Four)

by Clair Delaney

  “Hey you two,” I pipe up, ‘no arguing please,” I add in a funny, light voice.

  They look away from one another, but it’s Malcolm that turns to me. “What is it you wanted to say Coral?” he asks. Gladys is fidgeting, obviously still unhappy.

  I take a breath and begin. “Well, if it’s ok with Mom, I wanted to ask if it’s ok for me to host Christmas this year,” I wait for the bombshell to drop, and for their reaction...

  Three

  EVERY YEAR SINCE I have lived with Gladys she has hosted the best Christmases. When we were younger, Debs and I could have our friends around Christmas Eve, and we were allowed a sneaky glass of wine, then on Christmas Day, John and Joyce would come around and spend the day.

  As time went by, it became Debs and Scott, Justin, Harriett and I, and always John and Joyce. Then after the whole fiasco with Justin and Harriett, I met Rob, so he and Carlos would always be there Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, along with Bob. And then Lily arrived, and we’d all help with convincing her that Father Christmas was real, and if she behaved herself, he would come down the chimney with her presents – Either way, Gladys was always the best host.

  No matter how much work she had to do, although Joyce, Debs and I would try to help – she would always look after everyone, making sure they were never hungry and constantly refilling their glasses. And in a way, I don't want to take that away from her, but I really want to do this.

  “You,’ Gladys laughs, ‘host Christmas?”

  That reaction does not inspire confidence.

  I frown at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence Mom,” I can't help being sarcastic.

  Malcolm beams widely. “I think that’s a lovely idea sweetheart,” he says.

  I smile shyly at him. “Thanks Malcolm,” I take his free hand, and give it a squeeze, then turn to Gladys. “Mom, I don't want to take anything away from you’ – “Away from me? Goodness darling, we didn’t think...oh dear,” she sighs, looking forlorn.

  I frown at her odd behaviour.

  “We’ll be away this Christmas,’ Malcolm tells me, ‘we were actually going to tell everybody next weekend, when the family is over for a stay,” he adds. That explains the phone call Tristan and I got last week, to invite us over for dinner next Saturday night, which of course we said yes to, and now I know why.

  My face falls. “Oh...” I whisper - My Christmas wish is crashing down around my ears.

  “Oh sweetheart,” Gladys says, and awkwardly pulls me in for a hug. “We’re going to the house in Spain, I didn’t think it would bother you so much now you have Tristan.” Gladys pulls back, and places her hands on my shoulders. “It’s just, such a lot has happened this year, and we really fancied getting away, just the two of us,” Gladys glances at Malcolm, looking guilty.

  I take a deep breath, knowing she’s right – it has been a crazy year. “Mom, it’s fine, really it is. I understand you wanting to do that,” I tell her, smiling widely, though not feeling it inside.

  She strokes my cheek. “Really darling, you don't mind?” she asks, her eyes searching for the truth.

  I guess it will be everyone else bar Gladys, Malcolm, Joyce...and John. I sigh inwardly, but pick myself back up. I don't want them feeling bad about not being here. No way, I’ve spent too much of my life making others feel bad or guilty because of my weird ways – It’s time it came to an end.

  I take Gladys’ hands in mine, lean forward and kiss her cheek. “Mom, you deserve this. You both do. Every Christmas I have had with you has been wonderful. As I child, I felt the magic of Christmas all around me, even though I had my...problems. And as an adult, you always made it so much fun, and made us all feel so warm and welcome. I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life.” I smile warmly at her, wanting her to know I really do mean what I’m saying.

  “Oh darling,” she gushes, pulling me to my feet so she can hug me. She squeezes me so tightly, that I’m suffocating against her large breasts. I have to pat her back so she’ll release me. “You’re sure you don't mind?” she asks again, as she pulls back, allowing me to breathe again.

  “No Mom, its fine. But when are you leaving?” I ask, wondering if they can at least have Christmas Eve with us.

  “On the 20th,” Gladys replies. And my heart sinks even further. “Now, I have yours and Tristan’s presents in the cupboard, let me fetch them for you,” she says, and wobbles away.

  I sit back down, pick up my mug of tea, and take a sip, thinking I better get their presents organised and over to them before they go away.

  “Thank you Coral,” Malcolm says; his voice sincere.

  I look up at him and smile. “Every word I said was true Malcolm, Mom is the best host, and she always made Christmas feel so magical.”

  He leans forward on the table. “No, I mean for being so understanding. Gladys was worried, even though I told her not to be,” he whispers, ‘she still worries about your reaction to things, to change. But I told her that she needs to let go of the past, of the old you, and embrace the new you,” he adds in hushed tones. “You’re stronger, happier and more balanced now. Even I can see that, and I haven’t known you that long.” He winks at me, smiles broadly and leans back against the chair.

  I think my chin has hit the floor, so I take a moment to compose myself, and then I reply. “You’re right Malcolm, if she’d have said that to me last year, I would have freaked out...’ I look down at the floor, feeling guilt ridden for all the ways in which I made Gladys feel bad.

  ‘She’ll never know how sorry I am. If I could turn back time and take it all back I would.” I swallow hard, feeling a little sick at the truth of my own words.

  Unexpected tears spring to my eyes – God damn it!

  Malcolm comes and sits opposite me, takes my free hand and squeezes it tight. “Don't waste your time thinking about the past Coral. It doesn’t do any of us any good. It’s full of regret, mistakes and what ifs, and I can tell you now, life is far too short for that. It whizzes by whether you are living in the past, present or future, and if you spend too much time thinking about the past, before you know it, ten years have gone by and you have no idea what you did in those years.” I gaze at Malcolm, blinking back more tears, wondering if he’s referring to himself, and what he went through after his divorce.

  He continues. “Look, most of the time your Mom is on cloud nine. She’s so happy you have pushed through everything that was holding you back, and that you have Tristan. She loves the new you, she really does. But like any mother, she will always worry about her children’s happiness.” Malcolm leans forward and plants a swift kiss on my forehead – And my heart overflows with love for him.

  Everything he said to me on my wedding day, as we danced together, he has stuck by. Like how he was with me just a few short weeks ago. I’d turned up at the house, pretending I wanted to speak to Gladys, when really I just wanted a breather from Tristan, as we’d had an argument.

  Gladys wasn’t home, but Malcolm was there. He knew something was up, so he asked, and I said nothing, so he reminded me of what he told me as we danced that day. I bit the bullet and told him of our argument, and he gave me a different perspective on it, one that helped. He’s been a god send ever since. It’s a feeling that I’m still getting used to, having a male role model, a father so to speak, who I know, categorically, will always have open arms, good advice, and be a sounding board for me – I feel very blessed. And I’m so grateful, every day that he’s with Gladys, that they are together, and no longer lonely.

  “Thanks Dad,” I whisper, a couple of tears bouncing down my cheeks.

  We hug again, surprising Gladys as she enters the kitchen.

  “Everything ok?” she asks, looking from me to Malcolm.

  I sniff, and then laugh. “Yeah Mom, it’s all good,” I say, feeling decidedly better for Malcolm’s pep talk. “Back in a second.” I dash off to the bathroom, and once in there I mop up the tears, blow my nose and touch up my make-up.

  Tak
ing a deep breath, and staring back at the new me, I make a decision to keep listening to Malcolm’s words, because right now, the old part of me wants to resurface. And I know the emotion is guilt. I can feel it there in the background, like I want to curl up into a ball, and cry my eyes out for the hell I put Gladys through – but I have to keep moving forward. No matter how strange and alien it can feel at times.

  “You can do this Coral Freeman!” I whisper to my reflection, pulling my shoulders back as I do. My big blue eyes look a little too large in my now slimmer face – Hmm...Maybe everyone is right and I need to start stuffing my face with cakes and chocolate?

  I shake my head at myself – Diabetes heaven that is!

  Heading out the bathroom, I return to the kitchen, and we all spend another hour or so chatting away. My mind drifts to Tristan several times, I can't help it, I am in love with him, and that’s what happens when you fall in love – you go crazy!

  HALF AN HOUR LATER, as I’m stood on the porch saying goodbye to Mom, and Malcolm is putting our presents in the boot, I make another decision, to see not only Bob today, but Rob too, and maybe Debs, although I only saw her a few days ago.

  “Bye Mom, love you lots,” I whisper, hugging her tightly.

  Gladys chuckles. “Bye darling, be safe in that thing won't you?” she says.

  She hates ‘The Beast’ - Thinks it’s far too powerful and told Tristan off when she first found out about it – He finally got to experience her wrath. And I must admit, it was quite funny seeing his cheeks flame and his gobsmacked expression. He normally can't do anything wrong in Gladys’ eyes, but he buggered up this time.

  Malcolm jogs back under the porch, and we hug again. “Bye Dad. See you soon.”

  “Before Saturday?” He asks.

  “Yeah..hopefully,” I say – And Tristan is coming with me, he can't keep avoiding Gladys forever. I run over to ‘The Beast’ jump inside, place the flask Gladys gave me with Bob’s Chicken Stew on the seat next to me, and shake the rain from my fingers. Ugh! I hate rainy days!

  Starting her up, I glance out the window, and see Gladys and Malcolm on the porch, Gladys is shaking her head and gesticulating to Malcolm, then she waves at me, and storms back into the house. Malcolm rolls his eyes and smiles widely at me, making me laugh. I wave one last goodbye and slowly drive away, trying to keep the engine as quiet as possible, so as not to wind Gladys up even more.

  Five minutes later I am parked at the gym. I stay in the beast for a moment, taking in my surroundings, and marvelling at the fact that I used to live here, and walk across this car park every morning. I look to my left, down at the bright yellow row of buildings, which today look dull and grimy, that’ll be all the storms we’ve been having.

  Then I look out in front of me, at the sea – it’s roaring. I can see white capped waves right out to the horizon, and the sky above is an ominous grey, reflecting down onto the sea which almost looks like liquid metal. And even though I’m inside the beast, I can hear the ferocity of her waves crashing against the Marina, which makes me shudder inside. Ugh, I hate winter!

  With that thought in mind, I brace myself for the cold wind lashing my face and the rain soaking me, grab Bob’s stew and my bag, then jump out of the car, slam the door shut and run as fast as I possibly can without falling over, towards the concourse. As I do, I hear several seagulls and look up above me, I stop and watch for a moment as they manage somehow, to ride the winds, gliding effortlessly then hovering for a moment as they look down to the ground for something to eat. As I continue to stare, a big droplet of rain lands straight in my eye, just as a ferocious gust of wind almost knocks me over – Damn it!

  I quickly hide my face in my coat, and scold myself for doing such a daft thing when it’s raining so hard. Then reaching the steps to the concourse, I hurry down them, then start running again towards my old studio, and Bobs place next door.

  Tristan, many months ago, advised me to keep my studio and rent it out, I took his advice, and with his help, we found the right company. They only deal with holiday lets on Marinas and other such properties that are on the water. It’s really great as I don't have to worry about a thing. They take care of everything, the rentals, maintenance, and the cleaning etc. And to be fair, it has bought in a nice little profit. So I’m shocked to see the lights on in my old studio as I pass it, as I would have thought it not rentable at this time of year.

  Shrugging that thought off, I knock on Bob’s door. Then I think I should have used my key as he maybe upstairs and - The patio door slides open, halting my thoughts.

  “Coral?” His face lights up, I can tell he’s surprised.

  “Hey Bob,” I quickly dash inside, and close the patio door behind me. Noticing that his studio smells clean, and it’s warm and dry. I turn and look at Bob, a wave of guilt washes over me for leaving him, but I push it aside. “Can I stay a while?” I ask.

  Bob laughs. “Of course you can, I’m surprised to see you,” he says, holding his hands out for my wet coat.

  “Thanks Bob,” I say as he takes it off me and hangs it up. “How are you?” I ask.

  “I’m fine, you didn’t have to come out in this awful weather to see me,” he says.

  “I didn’t. “ I lie. “I was just over at Mom’s and she asked me to bring your Chicken Stew over.”

  “Oh, well that’s not so bad then,” Bob says.

  I place my hand on my hip. “Bob! I would risk hell and high water to come and see you, so please don't say things like that.” I tell him, hoping it came out the right way.

  Bob looks guiltily at me, but then I notice something, he’s moving a little slower than he normally would, and seems to struggle as he lowers himself onto the sofa.

  “Take a pew,” he says, patting the spot next to him.

  “Have you eaten today Bob?” I softly ask.

  “Had some porridge,” he tells me - That would have been at about 6am I imagine.

  “Time for some stew then,” I say.

  “I am hungry,” Bob replies.

  I head over to the kitchenette, and finding a bowl, I empty the contents of the flask into it, so it can cool a little. Then picking up Bobs table, I unfold the legs and place it in front of him. The radio is playing Christmas songs in the background – Cliff Richards’ Mistletoe and Wine - and I notice he has a paperback sat next to him.

  “Hungry enough for a bread roll too?” I ask.

  “Sounds good,” he says, and as I’m up closer to him, I can see he looks a little tired and worn out, which just plays on my fears – I wish Gladys hadn’t said that to me. Ugh!

  Trying to ignore my own thoughts, I find a fresh granary roll, glad that Gladys has recently been shopping, cut it open and smear it with butter. Placing it down in front of Bob, he grumbles up at me.

  “I always liked those white rolls you used to get me. Gladys says they are no good for you, but they taste great dipped in soup,” he says, and starts digging in.

  “Yeah...they are the best tasting Bob, but Gladys is right, not as good for you as the Granary,” I say.

  While Bob eats his stew, I wash the couple of cups that are in the sink, and the flask. When he’s done, I do the same with his bowl and plate, all the while, trying not to think about the fact that I’m not here for him every day, not anymore. Coral, chillax, it’s Christmas!

  I shake my head at my wayward thoughts, and once I’ve folded his table back up and stowed it away, I head back over to Bob, and take a seat next to him. “Now, I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell you off Bob,” I say.

  He smiles widely at me. “Really,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

  “Bob! You are such a card. I bet you were a right tear away in your teens,” I can't help laughing.

  He smiles wistfully at me. “Ladies man,” he corrects.

  “Yes, I’m sure you were,” I reproach, my tone playful. “Anyway, I’m telling you off because Gladys said you have a cold, and you didn’t call me Bob, and you promised me you would.
” I stare at him, eyes wide, waiting to hear his reasons why.

  “Well hell...I don't want to disturb you every time something happens,” he tells me.

  “Every time?” I question, wondering what else has gone on that I don't know about.

  Bob looks away, his expression one of guilt.

  “Bob...?” I probe, wanting to know what that look is for.

  He turns and looks at me with guilty eyes, I swallow hard. “I fell over,” he tells me.

  “When?” I whisper, taking his hand in mine.

  “Yesterday, after Gladys left,” he says, his hand shaking slightly.

  I take a deep breath. “Where did you fall Bob?” I ask.

  “Here,” he says. “I was tired, it was around six, I was taking my bowl back over to the sink, I felt a little dizzy, and then boom, next thing I know I’m on the floor. I hurt my hand,” he says, and holding it up I see a small blueish-purple bruise where he’s evidently tried to save himself. Holy fuck!

  I take a deep breath, trying to not to freak out about it.

  “Luckily that nice young man that’s been staying at your place came over, he said he heard the noise. He helped me up, and got me a glass of water,” Bob smiles widely at me. “I can see your worry Coral, but please don't. It’s not the first time I’ve fallen over, and I’m fine now. I’ll tell you what I told Gladys, I’m tougher than I look.”

  I look down at the floor, wondering how to approach this. “Come stay with me,” I whisper.

  “No Coral, I’m not doing that. If it makes you feel any better I’ll see the doctor again on Monday.”

  I swallow hard. “Yes, that would make me feel better,” I say.

  “Then I will go,” he replies, rolling his eyes at me. “Everybody has their off days Coral,” he adds.

  “I know,” I whisper, ‘I just don't like...not knowing your ok. And I miss you,” I tell him. “I miss our little chats.”