A Christmas Wish--A Contemporary Erotic Feel Good Christmas Romance (Darkest Fears Christmas Special, Book Four)

by Clair Delaney

He leans in and kisses my cheek. “I miss our little chats too,” he says, looking a lot perkier.

  I decide being gloomy is not going to make him feel better, or me. “Ok then, how about a game of checkers?” I ask.

  “Sounds great,” Bob says, his blue eyes lighting up, which relaxes me a little.

  I decide staying another hour should give me enough time to assess what he’s really like, and if I make the decision that he needs looking at, I’m taking him to hospital – tonight. We can use my private medical care, and I’ll pay for it, whatever the cost. I want him taken care of...

  AN HOUR AND A HALF PASSES, and I come to the conclusion that Bob actually is ok. He’s sleeping on the sofa at the moment, as he said his knee is hurting him since the fall, and it’s making it difficult to get up and down the stairs – Definitely taking him to see my private doctor on Monday, Dr Andrews - although he should be called Dr Reeves because he looks a lot like Keanu Reeves - But other than that, Bob seems in fine spirits.

  “Right then Bob,” I say as I get to my feet and put on my coat. “Enjoy your roastie with Gladys tomorrow, and I’ll see you on Monday to take you to my docs.”

  “I can see my doctor,” he says.

  “Bob, they probably won't be able to get you in so soon. And I know Dr Andrews will see you for a quick check up as a favour to me.” He’s seen me several times during my recovery.

  Bob raises his eyebrows and then laughs.

  “Ok...ok, so I’m using the fact that he thinks I’m attractive to my advantage,” I say, my hands held up in the air.

  “I wouldn’t let your fella hear you say that,” Bob chortles.

  “Oh ha ha Bob!” I reply, chuckling slightly - then I suddenly remember my plan, my Christmas wish. “Oh yeah, I just remembered, Christmas at my place this year. Gladys is off to sunny Spain with Malcolm. Can you believe it?” I laugh.

  “I’ll be there Christmas Day, but not Christmas Eve,” Bob tells me.

  “Oh...why not?” I ask.

  “Too noisy,” he replies, ‘and you know I’m in bed by 9pm,” he adds.

  I smile warmly at him. “Ok, just Christmas Day then.”

  Bob smiles back then goes to stand.

  “No Bob, but you stay there. I’ll lock the door behind me,” I say, then leaning down I give his cheek a kiss, and hug him gently.

  “Thanks sweetheart,” he says, patting my arm. “It was really nice to see you.”

  “You too Bob,” I whisper, trying not to choke up. “See you Monday,” I add, and quickly turn away before I start crying.

  Then, taking a deep breath so the cold doesn’t shock me so much, I pull the patio door open, step outside and quickly close it behind me. Then I realise I should have got my keys out first, as my hands are already starting to freeze. Stupid Coral! - Shaking my head at myself, I finally find them at the bottom of my bag, my hands so cold now I can hardly feel the keys, and lock his door.

  With a quick wave, I turn away ready to dash towards the car, but something stops me, and before I know it, I’m knocking on the patio door to my old studio, about to disturb a complete stranger – Coral, what are you doing?

  As I stand there, freezing my ass off and hoping from foot to foot to try and keep warm, I wonder if there actually is anybody home. Deciding there isn’t, as nobody has come to the door, and wanting to get back to the warmth of the beast, I quickly turn, about to run again and slam into a man’s chest – Fuck, that hurt!

  I look up, my nose feeling slightly bruised, and see a pair of eyes I used to love and know.

  “Holy crap – Justin?” I squeak, blinking against the rain.

  “Hi Coral. Are you hurt?” He asks; his face dead serious.

  “No,” I say, the wind whipping my hair around my face, and freezing my exposed earlobes – What is he doing here?

  In answer to my question, Justin steps forward, and unlocks my studio.

  In stunned silence, I look up at him.

  “Yes,’ he says,’ I’m living here. Come in out of the rain,” he says and slides the door open.

  I gawp at him, trying to work out of it’s the right thing to do. The rain is lashing against my face, the wind getting into places it shouldn’t, and I’m getting colder by the second.

  “Coral get inside before you freeze to death,” he says. “I know how you hate the cold,” he adds.

  And he’s right, I do hate the cold, and with that thought, I feel my teeth start to chatter against one another, and notice that my legs feel like blocks of ice, and it feels like I have icicles hanging down from my nostrils. I look up at Justin, then behind him to the warmth of the studio. I want to get inside, out if the icy rain still pelting down on me - This is a bad idea Coral – Don't do it!

  Four

  IGNORING MY OWN THOUGHTS, I step inside my old studio, which looks completely different due to the makeover it’s had, and then Justin slides the door shut. I turn and stare at him, dumbfounded.

  “I guess as the owner, you have the right to know why I’m here,” he says.

  I shake my head, feeling a weird shyness that I used to have around him. “I don't have that right,” I say, it’s almost a whisper.

  And I feel myself start to defrost now I’m out of the elements, the feeling in my legs is coming back to me, and my teeth are no longer chattering, but I keep my hands in my coat pockets, as they still feel cold.

  He stares back at me, then smiles. “Ok, so...why were you knocking on the door?”

  I look up at him again, but quickly look away to the wall. “Um...yeah I was wasn’t I,’ I say, feeling nervous. Justin takes a step towards me, so I take a step back, not wanting any contact.

  He holds his hands up. “I was just gonna put the kettle on,” he says.

  I turn and see I’m almost backed up against the kitchenette, so I quickly step out of his way. “Sorry,” I murmur.

  He laughs to himself. “You know...I always remember you saying that a lot.”

  I think I’m still in shock.

  “Saying what?” I ask, but I’m distracted by the fact that I’m back in my studio. I can't help looking around the small space, so many memories. Not all good. I get a flashback of finding Bob after Susannah attacked him, I look down at the floor remembering the massive blood stain that was left once the ambulance took Bob away – which is now gone, as it should be, considering it’s being rented out.

  Justin laughs again, bringing me back to the now. “Tea?” he asks.

  I frown at him. “No thanks.” I shake my head slightly, trying to stop the old memories of Bob from running, and get back to the now, the present, and I suddenly find an inner confidence from somewhere.

  “What did I always say?” I ask.

  He smiles again, as though he’s remembering. “You used to say ‘Sorry’ all the time. Don't you remember it driving me mad?” I suddenly think of Tristan, and his patience with the fact that I do say it a lot, yet he doesn’t lose his temper with me like Justin used to.

  I nod my head. “Yes, I do,” I reply.

  “Sure you don't want’ – “I was knocking on your door...my door,’ I start to get flustered, as he’s turned his gaze on me, like he used to. I take a deep breath to calm myself. ‘You helped Bob out, my next door neighbour?”

  He laughs again. “Don't you mean ‘my’ next door neighbour?” Ugh! He hasn’t changed, everything was always a fucking joke to him - And Bob isn’t a joke, he better get that.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Look, I just wanted to say thank you to whoever it was. Bob’s supposed to call me if he gets into trouble,” I firmly say.

  “Well, why don't you give me your number, and I’ll call you directly... if anything should happen,” he says. Nice try!

  “What are you doing here Justin?” I ask, although I have no right to, but I am intrigued.

  He sighs, and starts drying tea cups with a tea-towel. “My flat is being renovated, needed somewhere cheap for a few months, the agency made me a four month deal over the wi
nter months. Apparently they cleared it with the owners,” he says, his eyebrows raised.

  And I know he knows I didn’t know about any four month deal – not that it matters.

  “I don't handle any of our properties, Tristan does,” I tell him.

  He laughs again. “Ooh...our properties.” He says.

  I note a little jealousy in his tone, but ignore it. “So you’ve finally bought your own place?” I say.

  He nods; his face serious. “When I found out you’d got married, I figured you really had moved on, so I thought it was about time I did the same,” he says, and now he sounds sad.

  “Oh...” I whisper. “And have you...met someone?” I ask, not really knowing if I should be asking that question.

  He’s still being serious. “Not yet, kind of hard to meet someone when you keep comparing them to the girl that you loved and lost,” he says.

  I freeze. Is he talking about me?

  He stops drying cups, leans against the kitchenette, and crosses his arms. “You know I mean you, don't you Coral.”

  I look down to the floor. “Doesn’t really matter whether it is me or not Justin,” I whisper.

  “Doesn’t it?” He replies.

  I frown at his words. “You cheated on me,” I say, wincing slightly at the memory.

  “You know, people do make mistakes Coral’ – “And I may have forgiven you, had it not been with Harriett,” I interrupt, realising that I’m staying pretty calm considering I’m alone with him – I guess I really am changing.

  He frowns deeply. “Biggest mistake of my life,” he murmurs.

  I swallow hard. “I don't want you to be unhappy Justin,” I whisper, because I don't.

  “Then make me happy,” he says, looking all wounded and heartbroken, his blue eyes wide as he stares back at me. I realise in that moment, that I’m actually feeling sorry for the guy that broke my heart by cheating on me with my best friend, which is ridiculous.

  “I’ll never leave Tristan – ever. So do yourself a favour Justin, and let it go.” I tell him firmly.

  He winces. “Harsh words Coral.”

  I cock my head to the side. “Sometimes the truth hurts,” I say with a shrug.

  “You’ve changed,” he says.

  “You mean I’m not bending to your every will,” I state, a little sarcasm coming through.

  He smiles at that answer, and starts walking over to me.

  “Justin...” I warn, getting ready to knee him in the bollocks if he does anything.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says, and reaching me he gently pulls my right hand out of my pocket, and holds it tight in his. “You always did have cold hands,” he says, smiling at the memory, and I know I should be yanking my hand out of his, but for some unknown reason, I feel it’s ok, that it’s all innocent.

  He continues. “I am so sorry for what I did Coral. I wish I could take it back, but I can't.’ He sighs heavily, my hand still in his. “Are you happy?” he asks.

  I fervently nod my head, and begin to smile. Just thinking about Tristan does that to me. “Yes,” I whisper. “I’m very happy,” I add.

  His eyes close for a moment as he sighs heavily in defeat. “Really happy?” he asks, eyes still closed.

  “In a way I would have never thought possible Justin,” I softly tell him.

  His eyes open, and I freeze as he looks down at me. “Then I’m happy too,” he says, and lightly kisses my cheek. “You deserve all the happiness in the world,” he whispers in my ear.

  Tears bubble up to the surface. “Justin...” I croak, ‘you’re making me feel bad,” I sniff.

  “Sorry,” he smiles, standing up straight, releasing my hand as he does – and the joke is not lost on me. I can't help smiling at him, he reciprocates, then we both start laughing with one another.

  I sigh in a weird happy, sad kind of way. “Going home for Christmas?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Mom’s moved to Canada, she met some guy online, and that was that.”

  I cock one eyebrow up – Justin’s Mom was always, well, in my opinion, a bit of a tart. In all the time I knew Justin, she’d slept with more men than she’d had hot dinners.

  “And Kim?” I ask, his sister, who’s ended up like her mother – five kids, all with different dads. It was always mayhem at her house whenever Justin and I visited – we never stayed long.

  “I’ve had an invite, but I doubt I’ll go,” he says.

  I frown up at him. “So...what are you going to do?” I ask.

  “You remember Neil?” he asks.

  “Yeah...” I smile up at him – his best friend Neil, very funny, always had us both laughing with the stories he used to tell, and the trouble he would get into, but somehow he’d always wriggle out of it.

  “Well, believe it or not, he got married,” he says.

  My mouth pops open. “The permanent bachelor ‘I’m never getting married’ Neil has gone and done it?” I laugh, feeling an ease that used to be between us.

  Justin laughs along with me. “Yep, and he’s got it bad, but to be fair, his wife Nikki is a pretty cool chick,” he says.

  “So is that where you’re going?” I ask, still laughing slightly.

  “Concerned about my well being are you?” He teases.

  My face falls. “Justin,” I warn.

  “I’m teasing – Yes, there’s a whole bunch of us so it should be a laugh,” he says.

  Relief floods through me, knowing he won't be alone, which is what I thought he was about to say, and god knows what I would have done then – probably something stupid like inviting him over for dinner, and that would have gone down like a lead balloon.

  Come to think of it, what am I doing right now? I need to leave, this is feeling far too comfortable, and I mean I know, I get it, when you act maturely and respectfully, exes can be in the same room and have a nice conversation, but I also think that once attraction has been there, it never goes away.

  “Well, I better get going. Thanks for the offer of tea, and looking after Bob,” I say.

  “No problem, and all joking aside, you can leave me your number and I will call if something happens.” This time I can tell he’s being genuine, but I still think it’s dangerous to give him my number. I wouldn’t like it if Tristan gave his out to an ex, and just as I think that I have a light bulb moment.

  “How about this, I give you the house landline. Someone is always there, and they can get a message to me,” I say, and it’s not the same as having direct contact with me.

  “Sure,” Justin pulls his mobile out his pocket, and types in the number I reel off.

  I look up at him, lean up onto my tip-toes and kiss his cheek. “Thanks Justin, Merry Christmas.”

  He smiles down at me. “Merry Christmas Coral.”

  We both head over to the door at the same time, which feels odd. “Were you happy living here Coral?” he asks.

  I look up at him. “Yeah, most of the time I was...it’s pretty cool in the summer,” I drift off, wondering about Tristan and I moving again. Being back here has made me realise how much I have missed the smell of the sea, the sound of the seagulls, and the sound of the water lapping against the studio, it’s very relaxing.

  We smile at one another again, for a little bit longer than we should, I need to break the connection. “Well, see you Justin,” I say and reach out to open the door.

  He steps forward, which is very unlike him, and pulls it open for me. “I’m learning,” he laughs.

  And I come to the startling conclusion that Justin has potential – not for me – for someone else. Because, if there’s one thing I've learned in life, it’s that people tend to mimic their parents, and all he ever saw growing up was men treating his mother like crap, and she let them, he never had a male role model to teach him how to behave respectfully towards women.

  “It’s a step in the right direction,” I laugh back. “See ya,” I add.

  Justin smiles, but I can tell it’s forced. “Se
e you Coral.”

  I step out into the wind and the rain, and as I walk away I turn back once to wave at him. His face is solemn, but then he half smiles, his hand held up, and I continue onwards in the knowledge that somehow, that was meant to be, and that I feel even freer than I did before that conversation happened. I pull my coat tighter around me as run back towards the car park, hoping that at some point in the future, Justin finds the kind of happiness I have...

  AS I DRIVE ACROSS TOWN towards Rob’s pad. I can't help going over how strange that was with Justin, and then wondering if I should tell Tristan. I wasn’t like anything happened, or ever will happen. But I get the feeling that if I don't share this with him, it may come back and bite me on the ass, which could cause him to think I had something to hide, which I don't. Rolling my eyes at my over thinking, I try to get back to my Christmas wish. Ok, concentrate Coral!

  So far, we have Bob coming over, and that’s it, and to be fair, he’ll probably do as he normally does, eat Christmas Dinner, then snooze the afternoon away, which is fine, I don't mind that at all, whatever makes him happy, but it’s not like there’s going to be lots of fun and games going on.

  I sigh inwardly, and then I think of Danny, and I realise I’m not actually sure what he’s doing either. Probably spending Christmas with Joe, as they are now an item; well, more than an item actually. They have fallen deeply in love, I hear wedding bells a-ringing, but I’m so pleased for them both. And Danny is proving day by day that he is a wonderful father to Joe’s kids, so I decide to invite him, and Joe and her kids, as I don't want anyone to feel left out, especially Danny with everything he’s been through.

  As I park the beast at Rob & Carlos’ pad, I say a quick prayer, hoping they say yes to my invite, then grab my bag and jump out of the car, eager to see them. I have really missed having just me and Rob time, and also time with Carlos too, but that’s what happens when you become parents. You can't get out and about as much as you used to, which in a way is like having a sense of freedom taken away.

  But those are my worries, not Rob and Carlos’. If anything, they are revelling in it, and have proven to be amazing, patient, caring, and very loving parents. And maybe my invite will help take the pressure off them for the day? They can come over, have a lovely meal, and just relax and enjoy the day.