I Hate To Love You

by J. P. Oliver

  Mason leaned against his car, arms folded across his chest as he listened intently. I liked that about him, the way he listened. It was nice how he seemed to absorb every word. I felt heard, like what I had to say was important.

  “My parents were supposed to be away for the weekend,” I explained, “but they came back early. Frank found us. Went on a bit of a tirade.”

  “Did he… Did he hurt you?”

  I clenched my jaw, fought to keep my memories buried away. “I don’t remember,” I admitted.

  “What do you mean?” He frowned, confused.

  “I mean… I remember him taking a swing at me. Next thing I know, I’m waking up on the front lawn with a bag of my clothes being tossed at me.”

  “Jesus Christ,” he whispered.

  “I ran to Drew’s place later that day. Refused to speak with my parents ever again. It’s nice to know some people never change.”

  Mason stepped forward and took my hand in his, giving it a quick, reassuring squeeze. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern and worry evident in his expression.

  My heart twisted in my chest. I didn’t want to see him this way, didn’t want him looking like he was in pain. I especially didn’t want him looking this way because of me. I wasn’t worthy of his time, of his empathy and sweet words. I really had him all wrong. Mason was kinder than I ever could have imagined. I thought about all those years that I tormented him, all that time wasted because I was too arrogant to realize what a great guy he really was. Guilt balled up in my gut, threatened to tear me to shreds. I couldn’t stand the way he was so close, yet felt like he wasn’t close enough.

  I kissed him hard, pinning his back to the cold metal door of his car. I pressed my body to his, addicted to his warmth. As I ran my fingers through his hair with one hand, I used the other to cup Mason’s cheek. He whimpered against my lips, just as I’d hoped he would, the sound going straight to my cock. It sent a shiver down my spine, a terrible ache right to my chest.

  I needed this.

  I needed him.

  There was no way I could hold back any longer. No more tiptoeing around, no more treading carefully on thin ice. I needed to dive in, now or never. If I drowned in the process, so be it.

  Mason didn’t push me away. Quite the opposite, in fact. He clutched at the fabric of my shirt, dragged me in so that I was flush against him. He opened his mouth slightly to allow me access, giving my tongue the perfect opportunity to dart forth to explore this new, uncharted territory. I rolled my hips, and earned myself a satisfying moan. Much to my genuine relief, I could feel his arousal through the front of his jeans, grinding against my own hardness. I paid special attention to how much he trembled, how he gripped at me like I was some sort of anchor.

  He finally pulled away to take a breath.

  “What… What are you doing?” he asked, voice so thin it sounded like he was about to break. He quivered beneath my weight, hands shaking against me. “What about Drew?”

  I shook my head. “Forget him. I can’t… I want you.”

  “I-I don’t understand. What changed?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I just…”

  A tense beat passed between us, filling with the sound of our hard breathing and the rapid, frantic beating of our hearts. I took the opportunity to think, really think. What the hell did I just do? Did I actually just kiss Mason and mean it? Was I doing this because I knew Drew was with Christian and nothing I did would ever change that fact? Was I here because I’d changed my mind about Mason? These past couple of days had me questioning everything, made me realize that Mason was sweeter, kinder, and nowhere near as judgmental as I’d pegged him for.

  I found myself excited whenever I got a new text from him. I felt lighter, more comfortable whenever Mason showed up. At the cafe, at the bar. It just seemed right whenever he was near. I didn’t hate him, not like I used to. I understood him now, better than I ever did before, and a part of me really wanted to know more. He knew about my angry, bitter past, and I knew about his. A sudden, unquenchable curiosity drove me forward. This thing between us, this quiet electricity, was starting to become really difficult to ignore.

  “Do you want me to stop?” I asked, leaning away slightly. It hurt me to find the strength to do so. Mason’s lips tasted wonderful, felt too fantastic for just one kiss. “If you want me to stop, I will. Just say the word, and I’ll go.”

  Mason locked eyes with me, lips parted slightly as he searched for the right words. I wanted to stare into those hypnotizing grayish-blue eyes forever. Instead of giving me a verbal answer, Mason reached up and snaked his arms around my neck. He crashed his lips against mine, closed his eyes and pulled me close. Our tongues slid over one another, eager to taste and feel. The sounds he made had me feeling fucking wild, a soft and desperate moan right into my mouth that vibrated in my chest.

  “Do you…” he breathed. “Do you want to–”

  “My place is close,” I said hurriedly. “Ten-minute drive, tops”

  “Then shut up and get in the fucking car,” he growled.

  13

  Mason

  The car ride to his apartment had been a very dangerous blur. I was pretty sure I ran a couple of red lights, maybe even had a near-miss with a bicyclist. I didn’t remember getting out of the car, didn’t recall climbing up the steps of his apartment complex. His hands were all over me, touching and dragging and squeezing with untamed hunger. Liam fumbled for his keys, cussing under his breath as he struggled to get the front door unlocked. When he finally did, we stumbled across the threshold in a tangle of arms and legs. The door hadn’t even closed completely before Liam had me pinned to the hallway wall, getting down on his knees as he made quick work of my belt and pants zipper.

  Liam hooked his fingers around the waistband of my boxer briefs and dragged them down in one fluid motion. My erect cock sprang forth, already swollen and dripping from the tip. I watched in stunned silence as Liam closed his eyes, licking the tip of my length with the flat of his tongue. I shuddered involuntarily when he closed his lips around my member. Sighing, I threw my head back and screwed my eyes shut as he started to suck me off at an unapologetic rhythm.

  “Liam,” I wheezed. “Liam, you have to slow down. I can’t– I’m not going to last if you–”

  He growled, deliciously deep and low. The vibration traveled through my swollen cock and damn near knocked me over from the sheer force of blinding pleasure. I fisted my hand in his hair, doing my best –and absolutely failing– to keep Liam moving at a slower pace. He hollowed his cheeks and swallowed my length without complaint or resistance, bobbing his head in a rhythm I could hardly keep up with. It was too much, too sudden. I felt dizzy, too overwhelmed to stay standing. If it hadn’t been for the wall I was leaning against, I would have happily allowed Liam to drag me to the floor and let him have his way with me.

  A hot, terrifying tightness began to intensify in the pit of my stomach. Blood rushed through my ears, muffling the sweet sounds of Liam’s mouth sliding wetly along my sensitive member. He viciously teased with his tongue, swirling it around like no one’s business. I had to remind myself to breathe when the head of my cock hit the back of his throat. His greedy hands grabbed my ass and squeezed, fingers digging into my warm flesh like it was the only thing fastening him down.

  “Liam, I’m going to–”

  He pulled away just as I climaxed into his hand, which he didn’t seem to mind at all.

  “Fuck,” I hissed. The corners of my vision were blurry, delightful waves of euphoria washing over me, wave after wave.

  Liam wiped a strand of my cum off his cheek and chuckled, looking up at me with an obscene amount of pride. He stood up and took my hand, kissing me sweetly on the cheek.

  “Bedroom?” he asked, breathless.

  “Yes,” I blurted. “Just– Give me a moment, yeah?”

  “Of course.”

  “Where’s your bathroom?”

  Liam tossed his head to the side t
o indicate the right door. “Right there.”

  “Let me freshen up.”

  “Take your time,” he said. “I’ll be here.”

  The first thing I did when I closed the bathroom door behind me was turn the tap on and splash cool water over my face. There was so much going on in my mind that I couldn’t concentrate. I was distracted by the memory of Liam looking up at me, pretty mouth around my cock like it was the most natural thing in the world. As far as blowjobs went, that one was definitely in my top ten list. But blowjobs and sex were two entirely different things, and I honestly wasn’t sure if I was ready.

  This was Liam. Sweet Liam. Surprisingly kind and selfless Liam. Was I really ready to make that leap? Was I really willing to let him in? To trust him wholeheartedly?

  I shakily reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my phone. I needed to talk to someone, anyone. I needed to know that I wasn’t being crazy, and I knew exactly who to call.

  Drew picked up on the third dial tone.

  “Hello?”

  “I need help,” I rushed.

  “Dude, you okay? Why’s it so echoey?”

  “I’m in Liam’s bathroom.”

  “Wait, what? Like, at his place?”

  “No, at the queen’s palace. Of course at his place.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I think…” I took a deep breath. “I think I’m about to sleep with him.”

  Drew let out a delighted little squeal. “Yes,” he cheered. “You owe me ten bucks, Christian!”

  His fiancé groaned in the background of the phone call.

  My mouth hung open, shocked. “Wait, you… What? Did you say something to him?”

  “Mason,” he stated clearly, “let me be perfectly clear, all I wanted was for you two to be my best men to plan me a party. I didn’t say shit. Whatever’s going on between you two is between you two.”

  “But I–” I paused. I felt like Drew wasn’t letting on as much as he knew, but he was right. He hadn’t been around. The whole point of Liam kissing me in the first place was to make him jealous. But this whole time –helping me with Dad, kissing me outside the venue, giving me the best blowjob I’ve ever had in my entire life– Drew hadn’t been there to make jealous. This was real. Sudden, but real.

  And I was over the moon.

  “You going to do it?” he asked me.

  “I think…” I felt a smile spread itself across my lips. “I think I will. I mean, he’s already given me head, so–”

  “What?” Drew shrieked. “I want details, you hear me? Actually, wait, I don’t know if I want to hear about my best friends doing the nasty.”

  “Ew, Drew, come on.”

  “Actually, yeah. I change my mind. Tell me everything later.”

  “What? No, I don’t–”

  “Remember to use protection! And don’t forget to douche your–”

  I hung up the phone immediately, stuffing it back into my pocket.

  When I was finally done freshening up, I made my way to Liam’s bedroom. He was waiting there, just like he said he would, sitting on the edge of his mattress in nothing but his blue-striped boxers. He stood when he saw me approach, smiling sheepishly when I closed the bedroom door behind me. Liam got up and took three long strides to close the distance between us, immediately capturing my mouth with his. Greedy, big hands slipped under my shirt, eager to explore.

  It was all such a wonderfully warm blur, happening much too quickly for me to really savor the moment. I stripped out of my shirt and pants, discarding my clothes onto the floor. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down to the mattress, allowed me to climb on top of him to sit comfortably in his lap as we lost ourselves in an amazingly deep kiss. I pressed forward, pinning his back to the mattress with my hands on his shoulders. I rotated my hips, deliberately grinding against his arousal.

  “Mason,” he groaned against my lips.

  “What?” I asked, smirking.

  “Don’t tease me, dammit.”

  “What are you going to do about it?” I challenged.

  In response, Liam wrapped his arms around my waist and flipped me over, reversing our positions. He very carefully, but very purposefully dragged his teeth along my bottom lip. I would have been ashamed of the sound that escaped me had it not been for the overwhelming wave of pleasure that threatened to drown me when Liam slipped his hands down the waistband of my underwear. In one fluid motion, he slipped the fabric down, also discarding it on the floor. He quickly followed suit, removing his boxers and kicking them off.

  Damn, he was pretty.

  His cock stood tall and proud, surrounded by dark coarse hairs around the base. Had it not been for the fact that Liam reached toward the nightstand, I would have sucked him off then and there. He shuffled around through the nightstand drawer, pulling out a small bottle of lube and a condom. He popped the top off the bottle with a soft plastic click, pouring a generous amount onto the tip of his fingers. Without skipping a beat, he positioned himself just beside me, reaching down to gently massage my entrance. An electric shock shot through me, my excitement all but contained.

  “Hurry up,” I whined.

  “Relax,” he hushed. He slipped his free arm under my neck, cradling me close as he inserted a finger. Liam kissed me tenderly, a distraction to the initial burn of the stretch. “Relax,” he cooed again.

  “Liam, just–”

  “Easy, tiger. I’ve got to prep you first. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You’re not going to hurt me,” I complained.

  Liam inserted a second finger, and I couldn’t help but wince. He pressed his lips to my forehead, my cheeks, my eyes, my nose, along my jaw. He flexed his arm and drew my face in close, leaving me in a dizzying state of ecstasy. He slowly began to scissor his fingers, stretching me bit by bit.

  “God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he said, low and hungry.

  I closed my eyes, let my head loll to the side as he inserted a third finger. I was completely at his mercy, and I wasn’t even about to complain. I shuddered against him, breathing so hard I felt my breath ricochet off his skin.

  “I want you in me,” I moaned. “Please, Liam, I–”

  That was all the permission he needed. Liam removed his fingers and sat up in bed, reaching for the condom. He tore it out of its foil packaging and slipped it over his long, hard, throbbing cock. He was just as breathless as I was, a dark focus in his eyes that drove me absolutely crazy. He crawled between my legs, pushed my knees apart to give himself full access. Carefully lining himself up, he kept my gaze, unwavering.

  “You okay?” he asked, voice hoarse and gravelly.

  I nodded, too busy drinking in the sight before me. Liam was gorgeous. Chiseled and defined and even better than I could have ever imagined. There was something absolutely thrilling about the way he hovered above me, domineering and in control.

  “I want to hear you say it,” he said.

  “Yes, I’m good,” I hurried, tripping over my own words. “Fuck, just– Hurry.”

  He pressed into me slowly, using his left hand to give my half-hard cock a few languid strokes to distract me from the stretch. Liam captured my mouth with his own, swallowing my moans of pleasure as he pushed into me. He was massive, filling me to the point that I thought I was going to break. I wrapped my legs around him, gasping when he bottomed out. He stayed there, motionless, giving me time to adjust to his girth.

  “Fuck,” I hissed.

  “God, you feel so good,” he growled in my ear, low and dangerous. His words sent a chill up and down my spine, left my fingers and toes tingling with electric excitement. “You good? Is this okay?” he asked.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close, practically melting under the weight of his body. I could only whimper into his mouth as he adjusted his position, getting ready to move.

  “I want to hear you say it,” he hummed. “I won’t start until you tell me you’re good.”

  “I’m
–” I took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the sensation of Liam’s big, strong hand running down my chest and stomach. I relished the way his fingers dragged against my skin, moving fluidly over muscle and bone. “I’m good,” I managed. “Just– Please–”

  Liam started to move his hips, thrusting back into me at a slow and steady rhythm. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, sucking hard enough at the tender skin to leave the start of a bruise. His pace started to pick up, sweet friction leaving me a bumbling mess of incoherent sounds. Every single time Liam moved, he hit my prostate over and over again. I saw stars, felt a terrifying warmth radiate from my core all the way to my extremities. I groaned in his ear when Liam very carefully bit down on my collarbone.

  “You like that?” he asked.

  “Yes, I–”

  “Tell me what you want, baby.”

  Baby. I liked the sound of that. But I didn’t know what I wanted, didn’t know how to answer. I just wanted to be here, with him, enjoying the heat of the moment and the sensation of Liam filling me over and over again until I was on the brink of overflowing. I ran a shaky hand through his hair, breathed so hard I thought I was about to pass out.

  “I don’t know,” I gasped. “This is–”

  Liam chuckled into the next kiss he planted on me. He tipped his head forward to press our foreheads together, just as he had in the car. It was sweet. It was gentle. It was entirely too much for me to deal with. He took my hand, laced his fingers between mine, pinned my arm just above my head as he grazed his teeth along my lower lip and sucked hard. His pace didn’t let up. If anything, it was becoming more frantic as he searched for that delightful friction he so desperately needed.

  “Fuck, you feel amazing,” Liam moaned into my ear. The low timbre of his voice left me trembling, practically aching for his sweet words that vibrated through my chest.

  “Liam,” I gasped. I chanted his name like a prayer. It was the only thing I could think to do.

  He pounded me into the mattress, relentless in his pursuit of pleasure. I dug my fingers into his back, dragged my nails across his skin. Liam held me so close and so tight I felt like I was going to suffocate, choke on my own desperate breathing. The mattress creaked under our weight, moaning almost as loudly as me. And then the same wonderful pressure started to build again, deep down in my gut. It was frightening just how quickly the feeling came.