Better Than This

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Better Than This Page 7

by Cathy Zane


  “Me too.” He pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head. “Love you,” he said, keeping his eyes on the TV.

  “Love you too,” Sarah said softly as her body relaxed and she snuggled in next to him.

  Chapter 7

  Sarah pulled into the parking lot at school on Monday morning and realized she’d been on autopilot for the past twenty minutes. She remembered dropping Lizzy off at school and then suddenly she was at work. It always scared her a little when that happened. How could she just lose time like that?

  She steered her car into a parking space and opened the door to get out when she heard singing. She smiled and looked back to see Maggie dancing toward her.

  “Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day . . .”

  “You’re in a chipper mood this morning,” Sarah said, giving her friend a hug.

  “I am,” Maggie said with a quick nod of her head.

  “And you’re absolutely beaming. Something good must have happened.”

  “Right again! I had a great date Saturday night. Nice guy. Not bad looking. My love life may not be a complete disaster after all.”

  “I didn’t know you had a date this weekend,” Sarah said, genuinely surprised but pleased.

  “I didn’t either. It was a last-minute blind date. An old friend’s brother who just moved to Seattle, fresh out of law school with a job at a downtown firm.”

  “Sounds promising.”

  “No shit!” Maggie said.

  Sarah reached into her car for her book bag.

  “Jeez,” Maggie said. “More battle scars?”

  Sarah glanced at her hand. She had almost forgotten about it. She thought about the nice day she’d had Saturday—first cuddling with Robert on the sofa and then going out for pizza with Lizzy in the evening. She was happy they’d made up before he went back to LA. The fight, and her hand, had receded into the background.

  “Yeah, just call me super klutz,” she said, shaking her head. “I hit it on the corner of a cabinet.” She was glad she didn’t need to make up a story this time.

  Maggie winced. “Well, it’s not pretty.”

  “It’s fine. No big deal,” Sarah said, wanting to change the subject. “So, tell me more about this date. It sounds like you liked him.”

  “Yeah. I really did. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but we seemed to have a good time together. We had dinner at that new Thai place down the street from me. We sat there talking for a long time after we finished eating. I think they were about ready to kick us out!”

  “Well, that’s always a good sign. What-all did you talk about?”

  “Oh, you know. The usual first date stuff. Background, family, education, work, friends. Stuff like that.”

  “So, you talked about little ole me?” Sarah grinned.

  “Oh yeah! He knows all about my uptight, straight-laced, goody-two-shoes teacher friend who I’m constantly trying to corrupt! He can’t wait to meet you in person. He couldn’t believe you were for real!”

  “That’s not fair! You make me sound horrible. Did you really say that?”

  “No, of course not. I told him you were very nice, conscientious, and proper. Nothing like me!”

  “That’s for sure, you crazy, wild woman!”

  “Hey, who’s being unfair now?” Maggie looked hurt.

  “I’m teasing,” Sarah said. “Boy, you sure can dish it out, but you don’t take it very well.”

  Maggie shook her head. “I’m teasing you back, you doofus.”

  “Right. I knew that,” Sarah lied. “So, back to your awesome date. Did he kiss you good night?” Sarah knew that how a guy ended a date was always a test for Maggie.

  Maggie smiled but didn’t respond.

  “Oh, come on. No holding back!”

  “I’m not holding back. Not really. I just don’t think you’ll believe it. I was a bit taken aback myself.”

  “Okay, I’m seriously curious now.” Sarah nudged her with her elbow. “What did he do?”

  “Promise you won’t laugh?”

  “That might be hard at this point. You’ve got a bit of a buildup going here.”

  “I know. I’m making way too big a deal of this.” Maggie turned and took Sarah’s hand. “He took my hand in his, like this, and said he’d had a wonderful evening. And then he lifted my hand up and kissed it.”

  Sarah smiled. “Very gallant.”

  “I know. Right? I didn’t know what to make of it. I was totally tongue-tied.”

  Now Sarah laughed. “Well I can’t even begin to imagine that!”

  “Well it’s true. I barely got out a very lame ‘me too.’”

  “How did he leave it?”

  “The usual. ‘I’ll call you.’ But you know how that goes.”

  “Oh, come on. Don’t be so pessimistic. I have a good feeling about this one.”

  “Yeah. Actually, I do too,” Maggie said as they walked through the front door of the school. “Just don’t want to get my hopes up too much.”

  Sarah’s week had flown by and she left school feeling excited that Robert was going to make it home early. Kate had offered to pick Lizzy up so Sarah could have some time alone to make a nice dinner. She just needed to make a quick stop at the market to get the fish and maybe some fresh-cut flowers. She planned to use the good china in the dining room, and the flowers would make a nice centerpiece. Robert would be surprised and, she hoped, pleased. It had been a long time since they’d had a nice meal in their own dining room. Her fallback was always the more casual approach of eating at the table in the kitchen, but she knew Robert preferred a more formal meal. She wanted to try to do that for him more often.

  After a week of feeling unusually tired, she now felt a bounce in her step as she walked to her car. The sun was shining for the first time in days and she could see Mt. Rainier rising majestically up into the sky. It was one of those rare gorgeous days in Seattle. Robert would have some wonderful views flying in. She was glad his flight was on time. Hopefully he didn’t drink too much. Her stomach clenched at the thought, but she forced herself to stay positive. It was early. She was sure he’d be fine. But he’d probably want something with dinner. She made a mental note to get a nice bottle of wine too.

  “Hey Sarah. Wait up.”

  Maggie’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Sarah turned back just as her friend caught up with her.

  “So now you’re leaving me without even saying good-bye?”

  “Sorry. Just a little preoccupied. Robert’s coming home early so I’m in planning mode. Besides, I thought you’d be rushing home to get ready for your hot date.”

  “And you would be right! He just called with a change of plans. We’re going to see The Maltese Falcon downtown for Classics Night. Turns out he’s a big Bogie fan. Imagine that!”

  Sarah raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Sounds like you’ve found your soul mate.”

  “Well, it’s a little early to be jumping to that. But it does bode well. You know how much I love old movies.”

  “Yes, I do,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

  “Oh, c’mon. Old movies are great. As they say, ‘They just don’t make ’em like that anymore.’”

  “And some people are incredibly grateful for that!” Sarah chuckled.

  Maggie frowned. “Hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. You might actually enjoy them.”

  Sarah felt instantly remorseful. She knew this was something that was near and dear to Maggie’s heart. Quit being so insensitive. Say something to fix this. “I’m just messing with you,” she said. “You know I grew up on Gone with the Wind. It was my mother’s favorite movie. And I liked Casablanca when we watched it. It’s just that Disney and Pixar seem to be my staples these days. And Robert doesn’t really like watching movies.”

  “All the more reason for some more girls’ movie nights.”

  “Sounds like a plan. If I can steal you away from your new boyfriend.” Sarah winked.

  “Don’t
be saying things like that. I don’t want to jinx it. Besides, he’s a new attorney, remember? I’ll be lucky to see him once a week. We’ll still have plenty of time for girls’ nights.”

  “Good,” Sarah said. “We’ll have to plan one soon.” She glanced at her watch. She was starting to feel anxious about getting things ready before Robert got home and wanted to leave, but didn’t want to offend Maggie. “I should really get going . . .” she said tentatively.

  “Yeah. Me too.” Maggie reached out to give her a hug. “Have a great weekend.”

  “You too,” Sarah said, hugging her back. “Especially tonight.”

  Maggie smiled as she pulled away. “You know it. I’ll give you the update on Monday. Want to do lunch?”

  “Sure thing. It’s a date,” Sarah said, already sliding into her car. She waved to Maggie as she drove out of the lot, her mind racing. She hoped the traffic wasn’t bad on the way to Pike Place. What kind of fish should she get? She could see what looked good. She was in the mood for halibut or sea bass. But Robert always seemed to prefer salmon. She’d better go with the salmon . . .

  Sarah stood back and took in the overall effect. The table looked beautiful and the candles she’d added were the perfect finishing touch. She straightened a napkin in its ring, dimmed the lights slightly, and smiled to herself. She was sure Robert would be surprised. And pleased. She was turning away from the table when she heard the front door open and Lizzy’s voice call out, “Hi Mommy! Guess who’s here?”

  Sarah walked into the foyer as Robert was closing the door.

  “Kate and I nearly collided coming into the driveway,” he said, leaning in to give her a kiss.

  “Well your timing is perfect. Dinner is almost ready.”

  “I can tell,” he said, inhaling deeply. “It smells great. Do I have time for a quick shower?”

  “Sure,” Sarah said, tamping down her annoyance. Don’t get upset. He’ll be happier if he takes a shower. Don’t say anything to upset him. You can lower the temperature of the oven to slow the potatoes down a bit. You don’t want to blow this. A gnawing tension crept into her body. She told herself to take a breath and relax.

  “Great,” Robert said as he started upstairs. “I’ll be quick.”

  “Sounds good,” Sarah called after him. She really hoped that was true. She’d worked hard on this dinner and needed it all to be perfect. She wanted Robert to be happy with her. A fleeting sense of fear made her breath catch in her throat, but she quickly reassured herself. She knew his moods and he seemed okay today. No reason to get all stressed out. Just stay calm and get the food ready.

  When Robert came downstairs twenty minutes later, Sarah had uncorked the wine and was plating the food. He glanced at the counter and into the dining room.

  “Wow. This looks wonderful,” he said. “I can’t remember the last time we ate in the dining room. What’s the occasion?”

  “No occasion. I just wanted to make you a nice meal for your homecoming!”

  “Well, thank you!” He picked up the wine bottle to look at the label. “Good choice,” he said, smiling. He leaned in to kiss Sarah’s cheek and then tipped the bottle to pour himself a glass.

  Sarah’s heart leapt. “I’m glad you like it.”

  Robert smiled broadly. “I do. I’ll come home more often if you promise me feasts like this.” He carried his glass and the plate of food Sarah handed him to the table.

  Sarah followed him with the other two plates and set them on the table. “Lizzy, dinner’s ready!” she called down the hall as she returned to the kitchen for the wine bottle and another glass.

  Lizzy scampered into the dining room, crawled up into the chair next to Robert, and excitedly started talking about the play date she’d had with Emma that afternoon. Robert didn’t ignore her—in fact, he was being playful, and far more attentive than usual. Sarah beamed. This was how she wanted them to be all the time. Having dinner together, talking about their days. It was nice.

  Robert lifted his wine glass. “To my beautiful wife and this wonderful meal.”

  Sarah smiled and raised her glass to his.

  Lizzy lifted her cup of juice. “Me too.”

  “Of course,” Robert said as he tapped the rim of her cup. “And I’m glad you had such a good time with Emma today.”

  Lizzy bounced happily in her seat and took a big bite of scalloped potatoes.

  “Umm. Delicious,” Robert said after taking his first bite. “Don’t you agree, pumpkin?”

  Lizzy bobbed her head up and down, her mouth full of potatoes.

  “Well good,” Sarah said. “It’s really nice to all be together like this.” She flinched as the words left her mouth. Don’t push it. He’s going to feel pressured. You know that’s a trigger for him. Why did you say that? Do you want to completely blow this nice evening? Ask about him. Shift the focus back to him. “So, how was your week?”

  “Good. I closed a big deal that I’ve been working on for several weeks. My biggest this year. I was worried it might fall through, but I was able to make some adjustments and they accepted. And more quickly than I anticipated. It was nice to finish a little early. I know it’s hard when I don’t get home on the weekends. It can’t be easy for you. But you’ve been a real trooper.”

  Sarah smiled and her whole body melted into the chair. This was the Robert she fell in love with. She said a silent prayer of gratitude. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to feel that they were in a good place again.

  “How was your week?” Robert asked.

  Sarah launched into a story about one of her students, and they finished their dinner with an easy flow of conversation. When their plates were empty, Sarah rose to clear them. “Would you like some coffee with dessert?” she asked Robert.

  He reached out and took her hand in his. “That would be great.”

  She squeezed his hand and smiled.

  “What’s for dessert?” Lizzy asked.

  “Fresh-baked apple tart and vanilla ice cream.”

  “My favorite,” Robert said. “Boy, this just keeps getting better!”

  Sarah’s whole body was humming with happiness as she retreated to the kitchen to make the coffee and ready the dessert.

  When she came back into the dining room, Lizzy was telling Robert about making snowflakes at school.

  “Did you know that every snowflake is different?”

  “I did know that,” Robert said as Sarah placed the tart and ice cream in front of him. “Just like people are all different. Like you. There is only one Lizzy Jenkins in the whole world.”

  Lizzy’s eyes popped open. “That’s what Mrs. Johnson said!”

  Sarah sank into her chair, surprised but happy to see Robert acting so paternal. Maybe now that Lizzy was older he’d want to spend more time with her. The thought thrilled her. Maybe this would be a new chapter for them. She surreptitiously watched Robert and Lizzy as they gobbled up their desserts. This was the family portrait she wanted to capture; this was the feeling she wanted to hold on to.

  When they were done eating, Sarah refilled Robert’s coffee and helped Lizzy carry her dishes to the sink. “Good job! Now into the bathtub with you and then I’ll come read you a story.”

  Lizzy skipped out and Sarah walked back to the dining room to finish clearing the table. She hesitated, watching as Robert sipped his coffee and leafed through a magazine, wondering whether to say something or leave well enough alone. Her impulse pushed her forward.

  “Lizzy’s teacher asked me about her birthday today. I can’t believe it’s only five weeks away.”

  “Five weeks, huh?” Robert said without looking up. “Our little girl is growing up.”

  “She is,” Sarah said as she picked up the last of the dishes from the table. “You know, she’s been asking about a puppy again.”

  “Well, we both know that’s not going to happen,” he said without looking up. “You know how I feel about pets.”

  “I know. But maybe a small dog would—”<
br />
  “Sarah,” Robert said, all the soft playfulness in his voice gone. “No dog. End of conversation, okay?”

  Sarah nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly. A lump caught in her throat and she felt suddenly spacey. Stupid. Why did you say that? You know how he feels about this. Why do you always have to screw things up? You were having such a nice evening. Why can’t you ever just leave well enough alone?

  Robert smiled and returned to reading. Sarah swallowed hard and tried to ignore, without much success, the sudden flicker of anger smoldering just under the surface. She continued cleaning, noisily stacking dishes and slamming doors. It was as if their nice evening had never happened; all her frustration with Robert had come surging back. Why was everything always on his terms? Didn’t her wants and needs ever count? She glanced into the dining room and realized that Robert was oblivious to her upset. He always seemed to be able to completely tune her out whenever he wanted. Clearly, she wasn’t going to get his attention this way.

  She decided to try a different tack. She walked back into the dining room.

  “I started planning her party,” she said.

  “Huh?” Robert said without looking up.

  “Lizzy’s birthday. I started planning her party.”

  “Party? She’s turning six not sixteen!”

  “She’s so excited,” Sarah said, ignoring his negativity. “And she wants you to be there. It’ll be fun.”

  “Oh, yeah. A bunch of screaming six-year-old girls. My kind of fun!”

  “Robert, come on . . .”

  “Don’t worry,” he said, getting up from the table with his magazine in his hand. “I’ll be there.” He kissed her on the top of her head.

  “Thank you,” Sarah said, and her anger and tension eased. She’d been afraid he might say he couldn’t come and she knew Lizzy would be devastated. “She’ll be so happy to have you there.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be wonderful,” he said. He left the room without a backwards glance.

  Sarah continued cleaning up and thinking about the party. She could do an Easter theme. Easter was early this year. March 23. Just a couple weeks after Lizzy’s birthday. She should ask Kate to help; she always had the most creative ideas. Robert needed to be in LA two weekends from now. That would be a good time to do the party planning—they could have a girls’ pizza night with Kate and Emma. And she’d ask Maggie to come too. She smiled. Lizzy would love it. It would be a great party. And Robert would be there. It will be perfect.

 

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