by Cathy Zane
Chapter 8
When Sarah asked Kate about a party-planning pizza night, Kate had jumped on it. She’d even offered to pick up the girls from school and go with them to get the pizzas, a plan for which Sarah was currently very grateful. She hadn’t been feeling well most of the past week and was exhausted now. She was looking forward to some downtime before everyone arrived. Maggie was coming too, although she’d made it clear that the girls’ night with pizza and beer was the main attraction. When it came to planning a birthday party for six-year-olds, she said, she’d take a pass.
Sarah was lying on the sofa mentally reviewing her ideas for the party when the doorbell rang. Must be Maggie, she thought. Lizzy would have come barging in! She slowly got up and walked to the door, pausing briefly as a wave of nausea passed. She heard a quick double blast of a car horn and opened the door to see Maggie turn and wave at Kate, who had just pulled into the driveway. Lizzy and Emma rushed out of the car and came running for the door. Kate followed with two pizza boxes.
“Kid-friendly and adult cuisine, at your service!” she said as she handed the boxes to Sarah.
“Thanks for picking these up,” Sarah said, trying to rally. She waved everyone into the kitchen. “Let’s get this party started.” She opened the boxes on the counter next to a stack of plates. “Lizzy, Emma, go wash your hands and I’ll get your pizza ready.”
Both girls squealed as they ran out of the room.
“I wish I could get that excited over pizza!” Maggie said.
“Ah, yes,” Kate said, “to be a kid again!”
Sarah handed Kate a plate with two slices of cheese pizza on it. “Mag, there are some bottles of Juice Squeeze in the fridge. And some beers too.”
“I’m on it,” Maggie said as Lizzy and Emma rushed back into the room and jumped up into adjacent chairs at the table.
“Hey kiddos,” Maggie asked as she opened the refrigerator. “What flavor Juice Squeeze do you want?”
“Pink Lemonade,” Lizzy said.
“Me too,” Emma said.
Maggie brought the girls their drinks. “Kate, Sarah—beer?”
“Sure,” Kate said as she sat down next to Emma with her slice of pizza.
Maggie grabbed two beers and looked at Sarah, who still hadn’t responded. “What about you?”
Sarah laid the final two plates on the table and shook her head. “I think I’ll just have a Pink Lemonade too. My stomach is a bit upset. Maybe it will help settle it.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Kate said. “Do you think you’re getting sick?”
Sarah frowned. “No. Probably just stress. I’ve been a little overtired.”
Maggie raised her beer. “Well, time to relax and de-stress!”
Everyone raised their bottles, tapping each other’s all around the table. The girls frantically dug into their pizza slices.
“Slow down,” Kate said to them. “There’s plenty more where that came from!”
“Mm, delicious,” Maggie said after taking a bite. “I think this is one of my favorite pizza places in Seattle. Although I just went to that new place downtown—the one with the brick-fired, thin-crust, fancy stuff. I have to admit, I was pretty cynical going in. I’m not generally a fancy food kind of person. But it was really good.”
Kate nodded her head. “I know. Will and I went there on a date night a few weeks ago, and we were impressed.”
Sarah nibbled at her pizza. No pizza sounded good to her right now. The smell alone made her feel like she was going to puke. She was exhausted and her boobs hurt; it reminded her of when she was pregnant with Lizzy. But she was sure it was just bad PMS; she often felt like this when she was late. She’d probably start her period any minute now.
“I was there on a date too,” Maggie said. “I probably would never have gone, but Ryan convinced me.”
Kate raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Is this a new love interest?”
Maggie smiled. “Yeah. A few weeks.”
“And?”
Maggie shrugged. “It’s been fun. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think it’s going well.”
“That’s exciting,” Kate said. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Sarah, why were you keeping this from me?”
Sarah was so busy thinking about the nausea and fatigue, she barely heard her. “Huh?”
“Are we that totally boring?” Maggie said.
“No.” Sarah flushed. “I’m sorry. Just spaced out for a moment.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate asked.
“Yeah.” Sarah stood up from the table. “Like I said, I’m just a little tired. Here, let me clean up these plates and then we’ll do some party planning.”
Lizzy clapped her hands. “Yay!”
Sarah started gathering plates—and then another wave of nausea rose up. She put the dirty plates down and braced herself against the counter until it started to recede. She quickly grabbed a pad of paper and pen and sat back down.
“So, we have the date and a guest list. And I was thinking we would have an egg hunt. Any other ideas?”
“Balloons!” Lizzy said. She jumped out of her seat to get close to Sarah’s face. “I want balloons!”
“Great idea,” Sarah said motioning to her to sit back down. “Lots of colors. Like the Easter eggs.”
Emma turned to Kate. “Mommy, we should have your bunny cake!”
“Bunny cake?” Maggie asked.
“You cut and decorate the cake to look like an Easter bunny head,” Kate explained.
Sarah grimaced with apprehension. “Easy for you to say!”
Kate chuckled. “I’d be happy to do it if you want. What do you think, Lizzy? Would you like a bunny cake?”
“Yeah!” Lizzy jumped up and down. “Please, Mommy!”
“Okay then,” Sarah said. “A bunny cake it is.” She turned to Lizzy and Emma. “Now you two put your bottles in the recycling and then you can go play for a while.”
Lizzy and Emma dropped their bottles into the recycling bin and scampered out. Sarah turned to Kate. “Are you sure about the cake?”
“Of course,” Kate said. “I love doing stuff like that.”
Maggie rolled her eyes. “More power to you.”
The phone rang and Sarah got up to answer it.
“Hey there,” Robert said when she picked up. “I wanted to check in and see how my girls were doing.”
“We’re good. Kate and Emma are here. And Maggie. We’re having pizza and planning Lizzy’s party.”
“Great,” he said, zero interest in his voice. “Can I say hi to Lizzy?”
“Sure, let me get her.” Sarah covered the receiver and looked at Maggie and Kate. “Be right back.”
“Ten bucks says he’s a no-show for the party,” Kate said after Sarah was out of earshot. She grabbed their empty beer bottles and dumped them in the recycling, then walked around the counter to start cleaning up.
“What makes you say that?” Maggie said as she got up to help Kate. “Sarah would be so bummed.”
Kate shrugged. “It’s classic Robert. He pretty much does what he wants, without much consideration for Sarah.”
“No way! He’s so attentive, always taking her out and sending flowers and gifts.”
“Control tactics.”
Maggie’s eyes widened. “That’s a bit harsh.”
“I don’t know,” Kate said, shaking her head slowly. “Sarah’s let a few things slip lately. Like he told her she couldn’t go to that writing conference she was so excited about.”
“She told me she changed her mind,” Maggie said slowly. “She said she didn’t want to leave Lizzy over spring break.”
“See?” Kate said. “That’s what I mean. It’s probably more like he changed her mind. That’s the scary thing; she convinces herself that he’s right or something. She told me she was being selfish and impractical. My guess is those words were straight from the horse’s—Robert’s—mouth.”
; Maggie shot Kate a warning look, and she turned in time to see Sarah walk back into the kitchen.
“What about Robert?”
Kate thought fast. “Just wondering if he’d be home for the party,” she said, hoping her casual tone was convincing.
Sarah nodded. “He’s gonna fly home the Friday night before the party.”
“He’s in LA again?” Maggie asked.
“Yes. Where it’s sunny and warm. And I’m stuck here in this cold, endless rain!”
“You and Lizzy should go down for spring break,” Maggie said.
“I thought about that, but Robert’s really busy and it would be too distracting for him. He has a lot of responsibility; he needs to stay focused on work.”
Sarah turned away to finish cleaning up the counter and Kate raised her eyebrows at Maggie and nodded her head toward Sarah, thinking, What did I tell you? This was exactly what she was talking about. There was a term for it. What was it? Gaslighting. That’s what she thought it was called.
“Why don’t we move to the livin’ room,” Sarah said, turning back to them. “Y’all want some coffee?”
Maggie frowned. “What’s with the Southern accent?”
Sarah shrugged. “Guess it still slips out now and then.”
“Yeah.” Kate frowned. “Usually when you’re stressed.”
“You’re from Southern California,” Maggie said. “When did you ever have a Southern accent?”
“We moved there when I was eight,” Sarah said. “I was actually born in Savannah. And my mother had a Southern drawl like no other!”
“Wow, I can’t believe I never knew that,” Maggie said. “That explains a lot.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Sarah asked, a slight edge to her voice.
“Nothing bad,” Maggie said. “I just never saw you as the Southern California type. But the Southern part . . . That I can see. Accent and all!”
“Yeah, well, I’m not terribly proud of it. I got really teased in school when we moved to San Diego. So I tried to talk without an accent at school, but then I had to talk with an accent at home or my mother would get upset.”
“Sounds challenging,” Maggie said.
“Tell me about it. I never knew if I was coming or going half of the time!”
“So now when you’re stressed you slip back into the accent?” Maggie asked, glancing at Kate.
“Sometimes.”
“So what’s bothering you now?” Kate asked.
“Nothing,” Sarah said quickly. Then, purposely accentuating the accent, she said, “Now, if y’all would kindly retire to the sittin’ room, I’ll fetch y’all some coffee.”
Kate and Maggie both snickered.
“Coffee sounds great, Scarlett, but first we’ll help you clean up,” Maggie said.
Sarah pushed them both toward the living room, shaking her head and continuing her drawl. “No. Now y’all go relax and I’ll be there directly.”
“Okay! Okay!” Kate threw her hands up and scooted away toward the living room.
“Yes ma’am!” Maggie said. She followed quickly behind Kate, laughing.
In the middle of preparing the coffee, Sarah stopped and slumped over the sink, holding herself up with one arm while holding her stomach with the other hand. She suddenly felt like crying. She needed to pull herself together. She was being such a baby; worrying about nothing. It was just a bad case of PMS. She took a deep breath and slowly regained her composure. She put the coffee pitcher and three cups on a tray and went into the living room where Maggie and Kate were seated on the sofa, talking.
“. . . we had such a great time,” Kate was saying. “We were even able to take a hike before we left in the morning.” Kate turned as Sarah came in. “I was just telling Maggie about my date night with Will to Bainbridge Island.”
“It sounds wonderful,” Maggie said. “I could use a weekend away.”
“Well maybe that’s in the cards with this new man of yours,” Kate said.
Maggie smiled. “Maybe so.”
Sarah put the tray on the coffee table. As she picked up the first cup and started pouring, she spilled hot coffee on herself. She reflexively dropped the cup to grab her burnt hand and it shattered as it hit the glass coffee table.
“Shit!” Sarah cried out as she sank to the floor, still holding her hand. She slumped down and started to cry. You are such a klutz. What is your problem? You need to get a grip. Pull it together.
Kate was at Sarah’s side in seconds, putting her arm around her. “What’s going on?” she asked.
Kate’s comforting touch only made Sarah’s sobs deepen. “It’s really terrible,” she managed to say between gasps. “I don’t know what to do.”
Maggie, who was now sitting on the floor on Sarah’s other side, frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I . . .” She hesitated, then blurted out quickly, “I think I might be pregnant.”
“Wow,” Kate said. “I didn’t even know you were trying.”
“I wasn’t,” Sarah said and started crying again.
“Why are you so upset?” Maggie asked. “This sounds like great news. You love being a mom.”
Sarah curled up slightly, hugging herself. “It’s just that Robert’s gonna be really angry.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Kate said.
Sarah got more agitated. “No, it isn’t. He doesn’t like kids. He didn’t want Lizzy. He wanted me to get an abortion.”
Kate’s eyes widened. “I . . . didn’t know that.”
“But he must have changed his mind,” Maggie said.
Sarah calmed slightly. “Sort of. We talked. He agreed to one child. To make me happy. To get his mother off his back about marriage and grandchildren. But he was very clear: only one.” She started to get agitated again. “And I’ve been so careful not to get pregnant and then he . . .” She stopped herself and began to cry more strongly again, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.
“He what?” Kate asked, but Sarah just shook her head and continued crying.
Maggie and Kate sat quietly on either side of her until she began to calm down. When she did, Kate finally broke the silence. “Maybe things are different for Robert now. Maybe he won’t be as upset as you think he will be.”
Sarah remained curled up, hugging her knees. Even she could hear how childlike her voice was when she spoke. “No. He’ll be mad. I’ll be in big trouble.”
“In trouble?” Maggie said, jumping up. “For God’s sake, Sarah! Who the hell made Robert the king of you?” She couldn’t stand it anymore. Why was Sarah being such a wimp?
Sarah looked at Maggie, surprised, and Kate frowned.
“Oh, come on. Don’t look so shocked. This is ridiculous. You’re so focused on what Robert wants or doesn’t want. But what about you? What do you want?” She couldn’t keep her mouth shut about this. Sarah needed to stand up for herself.
“Touché,” Kate said. “A bit blunt, but point well taken.”
Sarah smiled weakly through her tears and looked up at Maggie. “Is this one of those cheer-bully moments?”
“Absolutely. It’s about time you thought about yourself for once.”
Kate turned back to Sarah and put her hand on her forearm. “Maggie’s right, Sarah,” she said. “How do you feel about this? What do you want?”
Sarah was briefly quiet and then her eyes filled with tears. “It would be great for Lizzy. I always hated being an only child.”
“So?” Kate asked.
“So, I’m scared because I know Robert won’t—”
“Mommy, what’s the matter?”
All three women’s heads swiveled around. Lizzy was standing behind them.
Sarah wiped the tears from her face. “Nothing, honey. I was just thinking about something that made me really happy.”
Lizzy looked at Sarah with a puzzled look on her face.
“I know.” Sarah smiled. “Grown-ups don’t always make sense, do they? How are you and Emma doing?”
“Can we have some ice cream?” Lizzy asked, seemingly satisfied with Sarah’s explanation.
Maggie shook her head in wonder. “Kids,” she muttered.
“Sure,” Sarah said.
Lizzy raced out. “Emma. She said we can!”
Sarah stood up and picked up the coffee tray. “Either of you want some ice cream?”
“I’m game,” Maggie said and followed Sarah to kitchen. She was glad for the distraction. She hated seeing Sarah so upset.
“Sure, why not,” Kate said, bringing up the rear.
Sarah pulled two cartons of ice cream out of the freezer as Lizzy and Emma hurried back in and crawled up into their chairs.
“Rocky Road or Cookies ’n Cream?” Sarah asked.
“Cookies ’n Cream,” both girls said simultaneously.
“I think I’ll take the Rocky Road,” Maggie said.
“Yeah, me too,” Kate said, grabbing another serving spoon. “I’ll work on the Rocky Road.”
“Thanks,” said Sarah as she carved out a scoop of Cookies ’n Cream and dropped it into one of the bowls.
The girls chatted excitedly as they ate their ice cream. Maggie watched how attentive both Kate and Sarah were to their daughters, but she didn’t miss Kate’s occasional furtive glances in Sarah’s direction. She wondered if her fears about Robert were really true. Maggie still couldn’t quite believe it. Her image of Robert and Sarah’s relationship had always been that of the perfect couple. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around Kate’s perspective. But Kate had spent more time around Robert; maybe she knew something Maggie didn’t.
Sarah was quiet and slowly picked at her ice cream, lost in thought. Maybe Kate and Maggie were right. Maybe Robert would be okay with it. He loved Lizzy. Surely he would see that having a sister or brother would be good for her. She started to think about the best way to tell him, then stopped herself. She needed to be sure first. She should go get a pregnancy test. Or better yet, just stop worrying about it for a while. Her period would probably start soon. She’d never been all that regular anyway. She’d been late plenty of times before. You’re just being a drama queen again. You never should have said anything. You made such a fool of yourself. Think how stupid you’ll look when you find out you aren’t pregnant.
