See How She Falls

by Michelle Graves

  Arguing pulled me from my deep sleep. I opened my eyes to see light creeping through the curtains and realized I’d slept straight through the morning. It was almost noon. I sat up trying to find the source of the argument only to find Conall and Sena having a heated discussion, in my room, with no one else in sight.

  “Umm, hi?” I muttered groggily.

  “See, I told you she was fine. There is no reason in the world to go waking up an exhausted, marked up, prophesized one when you don’t need to. She woke up just fine on her own.” Sena stomped her foot petulantly causing Conall to roll his one good eye.

  “Well, you guys arguing sort of woke me up.” I yawned loudly trying to rub the sleep from my eyes.

  “Oh, sorry," Sena mumbled quickly as she headed toward the bed to sit on the edge. “Since you are up, perhaps you can tell Do…, I mean Conall, that he is out of his mind if he thinks I’m going back to the Council with him. This is my home, these are my people.”

  “Sorry to tell you, but none of us are welcome there, Conall. Didn’t Kennan tell you?”

  “Tell me what?” Conall stood, rooted in place. A look of trepidation replaced his indignation.

  “Umm, we were banished?” I half asked.

  “What did you do, Izzy?” Conall looked at me like I’d intentionally gone in there and caused a ruckus.

  “I just showed up. Blame those crazy old bats that deposed me," I said, doing my best not to get angry. Sena was sitting awfully close to me, and I didn’t want to zap her into a smoldering pile of ash. Conall would be even madder if I did that.

  “What was said, exactly?” Conall still had the “this is totally your fault, Izzy” tone. It was really irritating how he always blamed me for the mess. Even if it was normally my fault.

  “There was mention of me being an abomination, which caused me to zap the desk into a pile of ash. Oh, and then they pretty much told me what I told Elaine. The whole, none shall give you shelter and any found harboring you will be banished. So, since you were on team Izzy, you got banished by association. Didn’t you wonder why Eleanor was here?”

  “She is a lot like my mother, she often shows up in surprising places.” Conall moved further towards the bed but paused as a thought crossed his mind. “Do you mean to tell me that Ian stood with them against you?”

  “Yeah, right. No, he and Molly are in Chicago.”

  “Why is he not here?” Conall seemed angry that Ian wouldn’t come to our aid.

  “Because he doesn’t have to be, and I won’t force him to return to the Order until it is on his own terms. There are some things that can’t be rushed, Conall.”

  “But we need his help to protect you!” Conall practically screamed as if I were being completely dense.

  Sena rose from the bed and moved towards him slowly as if he were a caged animal. I could suddenly see the wolf in him, chomping at the surface. When she got close enough, she placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered something lyrical that managed to draw his anger back. The animal disappeared and he breathed heavily.

  “Sorry, Izzy," he muttered before giving Sena a wary look and disappearing.

  “Should’ve known I would end up with the wolfman," Sena said thoughtfully as she returned to sitting on my bed.

  “Why in the world would you say that?” I scooted over to give her more room as she flopped back against the pillows next to me.

  “My name, and my talent.” She shrugged as if it were nothing exceptionally strange.

  “What does your name mean, exactly? And what sort of talent do you have, what did you just do to Conall?”

  “My name means ‘the moon'.” She paused as I burst into laughter. “Yeah, yuck it up, Izzy. At least I have a full name.”

  “Hey, my name means something, too. So don’t get all high and mighty over there or I will zap you into a pile of ash and let wolfman pee on it when he wolfs out.”

  “That is just plain mean.” Sena glared at me. “Well, Miss Prophecy, what does your name mean?”

  “Eleanor looked it up. She thought I should know that my destiny had been written from birth. Ultimately, it just made me want to smack her. My name means ‘God is My Oath’.” Sena stared at me, wide eyed. “Yeah, I know. Talk about being predestined for something. At least you aren’t alone, right?”

  “True. As for the other question you asked, my talent is calming. Mona says I am like the moon itself, helping to control the ebb and flow of people’s emotions.”

  “Can you just stay close to me until I get this X-men power crap under control?”

  “Promise not to turn me into a pile of ash and let Conall pee on me?” She looked at me wary for a moment.

  “Promise," I smiled. “Now, I really need to get up and get dressed. Oh, and pee. I REALLY need to do that," I said standing up. It hadn’t hit me until then.

  “Well, do you need help getting dressed again?”

  “No, I think I can handle it this morning. Just stay close today, if you don’t mind.”

  “I honestly have nothing better to do, and it beats facing Conall and his relentless questioning.” Sena made no motion to get up from the bed.

  “Okay, well I will meet you in the hall then, if you don’t mind.” I tried to give her a pointed look, but it was probably coming off a bit wonky what with the desperate need to use the bathroom.

  “Don’t fall in," she said, getting up and leaving the room.

  I slowly made my way over to my bag, pulling out a pair of stretchy yoga pants and a slouchy sweatshirt. I hoped that I could fight the darkness in comfy clothes, otherwise I was hosed. The thought reminded me of Cait, as she approached the demon in her flowing white dress. There was something beautiful about it that made me rethink the whole dying in yoga pants thing. Nah, yoga pants were way more comfortable. I wasn’t going out in style, but at least I would be cozy. By the time I left the room, after cleaning myself up in the bathroom, there was a small group waiting for me.

  “We have much to discuss," Aberto said, holding his arm out for me to walk in front of him.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Kennan, who had been talking to Sena as I left the room.

  “Eleanor and Mona have something they wish to discuss with you. It pertains to you being so tired. They think it may help.” Kennan seemed hesitant, as if whatever they had planned wasn’t going to be all that pleasant.

  “Will it hurt?”

  “No more than your other markings," Aberto supplied.

  “A simple yes would have sufficed," I quipped.

  “I thought that the rest would put you in a more pleasant mood," Aberto said solemnly. The man had no appreciation for sarcasm.

  “Well, where are we going? And does everyone really need to be there?” I looked behind at the trail of people. Not only were Conall, Sena, Aberto, and Kennan with me, but there were a whole host of other Guardians. Some I recognized from the Division and some were obviously part of the Order.

  “We feel it is best to be with you at all times from here on out, in case the bridge is completed," Conall answered.

  “Right, well this will be a ton of fun.” I turned my attention back to where I was going. I was just letting Kennan lead me, with no idea of where he would take me. Trust was a glorious thing sometimes.

  “Wait here. I need to see if they are ready.” Kennan moved into a hazy room, leaving me standing awkwardly in the hall with everyone staring at me.

  “What?” I finally blurted.

  “Is it true that you carry an electric charge within you now?” one of the Guardians asked.

  “Yes," I muttered before turning my back on them to face the door. I was getting tired of being looked at like some sort of oddity. I was absolutely not an abomination. Nope, no siree, I was completely normal. No need for the stares. If they kept it up, I may just run away and join the circus. At least there I would get paid for people staring at me. Oh, maybe I could start charging admission to the Izzy show. Just as I started to formulate my amazing costume and
backdrop, Kennan came back out into the hall.

  “They are ready. Just Izzy and Aberto.” Kennan motioned us in.

  “Um, Sena should come, too," I said nervously. Now that I knew she could keep my crazy in check, I was going to cart her around like a security blanket.

  “You can’t scream or react in there, do you understand?” Kennan leveled her with a stony gaze.

  “Okay," Sena said, wide-eyed.

  “Let’s go, then. The rest of you wait out here, please?” Kennan pinned Conall with his eyes. He knew that if he were in his place, he’d be trying to charge in with his Seer.

  “Alright," Conall said, turning his back to the door to guard it.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  A hazy room filled with fragrant smoke enveloped me as I walked into the darkness. I struggled to gain my bearings in the dim light. The vision of my aunt and Eleanor sent chills down my spine. They were both seated perfectly still, with their eyes closed muttering something over smoking coals. I was starting to get nervous about whatever this was. Whenever there was chanting and smoke, it couldn’t be a good thing. It reminded me of some voodoo witch-doctor stuff. Well, at least the stuff I’d seen in movies.

  “What do you people plan to do to me?” I wasn’t jumping in blindly. No Siree Bob, not this time.

  “They are going to blunt the impact of the runes. This is our Hail Mary, a last resort," Kennan whispered, but my confusion was obvious, making him continue, “It should provide more clarity so that the darkness doesn’t seem quite so appealing.”

  “Pray tell how do they hope to do this?” I looked down at the glowing coals and had a sinking suspicion of what was about to come. My fear took over and a blue spark shot up my arm. Sena moved toward me quickly, whispering something in my ear. My fear disappeared as if on the wind. I was left feeling amazingly calm. “Thanks.”

  “Just don’t zap me, and we’re good," Sena promised.

  “I can handle that.” I paused. “Probably.”

  “Izzy, this is a last resort. Our last chance to intercede on your behalf. This will not cut the tie, only dull its effects on you. If you wish to continue on as you are, you may.” Eleanor had opened her eyes, only to pin me in place with her stare.

  “You know I’m going to do go through with whatever this is.” I paused looking at the coals hesitantly. “I just wasn’t exactly mentally prepared for the whole being grilled like a brisket thing. A little heads up next time would be super awesome.”

  “Do not be melodramatic, young lady. We intend to do no such thing.” And there it was, my mom’s ‘You’re in trouble’ voice right out of my aunt.

  “Fine," I huffed, sitting heavily on a floor pillow. “What do I need to do?”

  “You will need to change into this.” Aberto handed me a dress that eerily resembled the one Cait had died in. I tried to tamp down my panic but it got the best of me. Sena yelled something from across the room that managed to bring my angst into check.

  “Do you come in pill form?” I asked Sena, only half joking.

  “You wish. You wouldn’t need me around if that were the case," Sena said, causing me to wonder what her story was. She seemed terrified that I would fade away at a moments’ notice. I just hoped that I would be around long enough to show her she was wrong.

  “Yes, I would," I promised before heading to the corner and donning the dress behind a screen. I tried my best to shake of the image of Cait and face whatever torture the old hags, I mean Eleanor and my aunt, had in store.

  “Are you ready to get started?” I nodded at my aunt who motioned for me to lay on the cushions stretched across the floor. “You can’t go on a walkabout. You have to stay and the let the binding stitch together on both planes.”

  “I know the drill," I sighed, trying to find my center. All I needed was to fricassee the people I cared about as they tried to fix me. I sucked in a deep breath as I felt the heat of the first coal approach.

  “Son of a donkey butted, biscuit eating, bastard!” I cursed as the pain radiated from the rune. It was as if the rune was protecting itself against the binding. It hurt worse than anything I’d ever experienced. “I can’t do it. I can’t," I sobbed trying to yank my arm away from the oncoming coal.

  “Hold her down!” My aunt shouted. “You must do this, Izzy. Otherwise you won’t have the strength to defend yourself. So suck it up, buttercup. This is happening.”

  I felt strong arms press me back down into the cushions. My shoulders were braced so that I couldn’t move and inch. I looked up expecting to see Kennan, instead it was Aberto holding me down. I looked across the room to find Kennan slowly backing out of the room, his jaw clenched and his face green.

  “He can’t bear to see you suffer. It is better that he is not here," Aberto whispered. “Now focus on something. Center yourself.”

  I looked up into his unfathomably blue eyes and let myself get lost in them. I felt the part of his soul that resided in me leap at the recognition. The smoldering coal came into contact with the first rune, causing me to arch up and close my eyes. The pain was unbearable. How was I supposed to get through more of this?

  “Izzy.” Aberto’s voice sounded so far away. “Izzy, open your eyes and look at me.”

  I opened my eyes as tears leaked through the corners of my eyes. “I can’t do it.” I sobbed.

  “You must," Aberto said calmly. “Would you like to hear a story?”

  “Now? You want to tell me a story now?” I was incredulous. Of all the times for Aberto to be in a sharing mood, this seemed the least convenient.

  “I do.” He smiled softly. “Keep your eyes trained on me as I tell my tale. If you close your eyes, I stop talking. Do we have a deal?”

  “Okay. You have a deal.” I stared up into his eyes, his hair cascaded around his face, forming a curtain between us and the outside world.

  “This is the story of when I saw you again for the first time after many years.”

  “But you said you had always been there," I interrupted causing Aberto to arch a brow.

  “No interruptions. I was always in the dreaming, waiting for the day you found your way back. Remember when I told you that I took away your memories of me and the dreaming? Well, as they faded, you did as well. You quit coming to the dreaming and you forgot about me altogether. Then, one day, you showed back up. It was right after your Grandmother died. You came into the dreaming, weeping and lost.” Aberto paused looking down into my face as another coal came to rest on a rune.

  “Story, more story," I pleaded, anxious to think of anything but the pain radiating through my extremities.

  “I came to you that day, only I wasn’t sure it was you. The last time I’d seen you, you were a child. What I found was a woman. I was surprised at the time that had passed, unaware that so many years had slipped through my fingers. You came stumbling into the dreaming, the same blinding beacon you’d been on the day you were born. I knew, the moment I saw the light appear that you’d come back. Your time was drawing near.” Aberto looked sadly into my eyes. “But that was the day that I knew it was you. I’ve known you my whole life, Izzy. From my first breath, I saw you coming. I didn’t know who you were, I didn’t know when you were; I just knew that you were. After thousands of years, I’d forgotten. The memory of you had been covered by countless years and countless struggles. But the moment I saw you, with your tear stained face standing in the dreaming, it all came back.”

  “What did you remember?” I winced as they pulled the coal away from my arm. I knew I had more to go, and I needed the distraction.

  “I remembered the vision I’d been born with. The vision of a Seer that was loved by many. She was a bright light in a time of darkness. She caused men to rise up in her wake, to fight for her, to battle the darkness and bring the light. She was, is, loved beyond compare.”

  “Well, that wasn’t true at all. I just got ejected from the Council," I half yelped as another coal made its way toward my leg and the rune tried to fight back.
I tried to look toward my aunt, whose face was covered in sweat as she pressed hard on the coal, fighting against the rune’s power.

  “Izzy, look at me. Focus on me.” I turned back to Aberto, trying to erase the image of my glowing flesh.

  “What, what did you remember?” I barely muttered.

  “I remembered that I loved you. From my first breath.”

  “Aberto.” I began only to have him shake his head.

  “No, you mistake my meaning. I do not mean love in that way, although over the time I have known you that love has emerged. You know I will never press my feelings upon you. I know where your heart lies, and I will honor that until my dying breath. The love I speak of is of a different sort. Wherever you are, whatever nonsense you get yourself into, I knew the day I took my first breath that I would always be there. I would protect you, I would guard you, and I would keep you from harm. You have taught me what it is to be selfless.” Aberto’s eyes misted over as he continued. “Seeing you again reminded me of the selfish man I’d become. I knew that you needed me to be more than I’d become. Kennan and Conall are right to be angry with me. I should have interceded years ago with Cait. I was lost then. I was consumed by my hate and disgust with what the world had become. I didn’t see any light left in it, and then you came back. You reminded me that even in the darkness, there is still light. You saved me, Izzy.”

  Those were the last words I heard before I lost the battle and succumbed to unconsciousness. The pain had become too unbearable, my mind gave in. Aberto’s words echoed through my mind as I drifted.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Floating in the oblivion of the pain induced insta-coma, I began to remember Aberto more clearly. I’d been getting snippets of memories from my childhood, but I couldn’t quite remember who he was to me, or why I’d trusted him so implicitly. Then I saw it, the moment he’d just told me about. I watched as he approached me. I must have been about twenty-three, right after my Grams died.

  I stood eyeing the fog warily as my mother yelled at me. Aberto approached me slowly, as if he were a wild animal testing the water for crocodiles. As he came closer, I tilted my head in recognition. Something in me remembered. He lifted his hand to my face slowly and began to speak.