See How She Falls

by Michelle Graves

  “Hello again.” He smiled, sadly.

  “Again?” I stood stock still, afraid to move a muscle.

  “Sadly, and sadly the next time we meet you will not remember me either. You aren’t ready to be here yet, Izzy. Your time will come. Go now, live your life, for much will change soon.”

  “What will change? Who are you?”

  “Everything has its season," Aberto promised in his traditionally cryptic way.

  And just like that, the memory swept away. I could see the exact moment he’d changed my memory. I began flipping back through my own memories, sifting them until I found every single one. At every stage of my life he had been there, watching over me. How was I ever going to repay him? More importantly, how could he have kept quiet about it all of this time while I was being such a snot to him?

  As I lay, drifting in my subconscious, I wondered how I even felt about all of it. I knew that a part of me called out for Aberto. I could no longer deny that. But my heart belonged to Kennan in a way that it could never belong to anyone else. Kennan was my happily ever after. No matter what wayward feelings might have cropped up for Aberto, my heart was sure where it belonged. I still wasn’t even sure if the way I felt for Aberto was because of his soul residing inside of my own, or if it was some sort of affection held over from my childhood, or something else entirely. What I did know, was it wouldn’t change anything. No matter its source.

  Grasping at reality, I pulled myself back to consciousness. I awoke with my skin feeling as though it were on fire. Panic began to build inside of me, until I heard Aberto’s voice again.

  “You are almost done. Stay with me," he whispered.

  “Okay," I breathed, as the tears began tracing pathways down my face once more.

  “Just one more and we will be finished, Izzy,” my aunt’s reassuring voice promised.

  As the coal made its way toward the last rune, my body felt as though it were ready to jump from the table and walk itself away. Whatever these runes were, their protections were fierce. The only thought tracing through my mind was that this whole mess better be worth it. If I came out of this room still feeling drawn and exhausted, but with new and improved scars, I would be furious.

  “AAAHHHHH!” I screamed out, arching my back as they cauterized the last of the runes on my thigh.

  “All done, Izzy.” Eleanor patted my arm gently.

  “Kennan," I wheezed.

  “I will get your Guardian.” Aberto stood to walk away, but I grabbed his hand to hold him in place.

  “Thank you, for today, and for every other day that you have been there.” Tears welled in my eyes from the pain.

  “It has been my pleasure.” Aberto slowly released my hand and headed out to get Kennan.

  “Well, you didn’t get all sparky. I think you should consider this a success," Sena beamed.

  “Yay!” I choked out.

  “Izzy?” Kennan asked as he entered the room. The strain on his face broke me. I knew that he hated anything that caused me pain, but he knew that we had to try whatever we could to stop the coming darkness.

  “I’m okay. I need some help back up to the room though. I feel like I need to lie still for a bit.” I didn’t even get a chance to finish before he carefully scooped me up in his arms, avoiding all of my runes. “Oh, but Eleanor, I have some questions!” I shouted as we left the room.

  “I’ll come with you, then. You need to rest, so it is probably best that we just discuss whatever this is where you will be comfortable.”

  Kennan carried me into our room, gently placing me on the bed. We were followed in by a whole herd of Guardians, much to my chagrin.

  “Can’t they wait outside? I promise to announce the demon’s arrival when it happens.” I looked to Kennan wide-eyed. There was no way I could get through the next few days with twenty Guardians following me everywhere. I would go insane before the demon could even show up.

  “Gentlemen, she would like some privacy," Kennan snickered.

  “How would you like it if you had to have everyone following you around?” I grumbled to an amused Kennan.

  “Well cared for?” Kennan ventured.

  I responded with a glare, effectively shutting him up. I wondered if I was getting better at my mean face. Or maybe my eyes were glowing again. Glowing eyes seemed to shut everyone up.

  “What did you wish to discuss, Izzy?” Eleanor asked, wiping the sweat from her brow. She looked like she’d just run a marathon through the depths of hell.

  “The demon, Sonneillon. I know that you have been doing some research, and I want to know everything I can about him. If I learned anything from 80’s cartoons, it’s ‘Knowledge is Power’.”

  “Well, not much is known of him. He is the demon of hatred and is fourth in line for the throne of hell," Eleanor supplied.

  “Yeah, but what is his deal. All demons have something they do to twist the world, what does he do?” I longed to understand what I was up against. I just hoped that Eleanor would have more information than what I already knew.

  “He turns men against one another, whispers in their ears things that will incite violence. Friend will turn against friend, brother against brother, until the world is covered in blood. His thirst for hate is unquenchable.” Eleanor’s fear shone brightly in her eyes.

  “But why this demon? I don’t understand why they didn’t choose another one to come and wreak havoc. There must be something about this one that makes it more appealing.” I settled back against the pillows, mulling over the possible implications of the choice.

  “If what you’ve said is true, then the Old One that seeks to bring justice to the world intends to turn those he feels undeserving against one another. Sonneillon only has power over the weak. Those that have broken spirits to begin with will fall prey to him more easily. If it is a cleansing they seek, then this is the demon that will provide.”

  “What is the demon’s weakness?” Surely he had to have one. Everything had a weakness.

  “In Catholicism, he is believed to be the adversary of St. Stephen. St. Stephen is considered the first Christian martyr.” Eleanor seemed to be regaining her composure as she slipped into what I’d dubbed her professorial role.

  “So, in a nut shell, dying for something bigger than myself is the demon’s weakness. Which is why Cait’s sacrifice was its undoing. So this really is my only option, isn’t it?” I looked up into Eleanor’s face, reality finally crashing in on me. I couldn’t breathe.

  “Izzy, there has to be some other way," Kennan promised, rushing to my side.

  “But there isn’t. I see that now more clearly than I ever have before. This is the prophecy. This is my destiny. No matter how much we might want to change it, we can’t.” My resolve was hardening. I knew that I would do what it took, no matter the cost.

  “But we must," Kennan pleaded.

  “Eleanor, I need to talk to Kennan alone.” I never took my eyes off of him, I knew that I needed him, and in that moment, he was the most important thing in the world to me.

  “Of course, Izzy.” Eleanor got up and exited the room quietly as Kennan and I stayed locked in one another’s eyes.

  “We can’t let them win.” Kennan’s eyes misted over.

  “If I don’t do this, we will be letting them win. Kennan, the gods, God, whoever the heck is running this madhouse, have spoken. I’ve been told countless times that the answer lies within me, that I must be willing to give of myself to end this. I’m running on borrowed time as it is, my love. I should’ve died months ago, when I freed the Seers. This time is not my own, and now I must pay the price for the time I have taken.”

  “I can’t, Izzy. I can’t just let you go. I have to fight, I have to do something.”

  “Then fight, help me hold the demon back long enough to do what must be done.” I pulled him down next to me on the bed, longing to be close to him. “Just promise me something.”

  “I don’t know that I can, Izzy.” Kennan’s voice broke, almos
t undoing me.

  “I haven’t even asked you yet," I whispered softly, hoping that I could convince him to listen.

  “But I know what you are going to ask me. You’re going to ask me to promise that your death will not be my undoing. You want me to promise that I will go on living after you’ve gone. You want me to promise to protect the people you love. I can’t, Izzy. You’ve been my world for longer than I can remember. When you leave, so does my purpose.” Kennan looked into my eyes, a tear threatening to leak from his eye. I struggled to hold myself together.

  “Well, I was just going to ask you to promise to give that demon hell in your Hulk-ish state.” I smiled warmly at him. “But, the other stuff is important, too. And you can go on living, because Ian and Conall will need you. After all, you’ve been bounced from the Council thanks to me. At least promise me that you will try.”

  “I promise that I will try," Kennan breathed out, his promise settling over me.

  “And promise not to try and stop me from doing what must be done.”

  “I promise that I will try," Kennan said stiffly. “But, Izzy, a world without you in it is not a world in which I want to live.”

  “Likewise, Kennan. But neither is a world in which everyone I love suffers because I was too selfish to act. I would never be able to face myself in the mirror again. It’s time we stopped running from the truth and face it head on. Are you with me?”

  “Always, Izzy. Always," Kennan promised, and I knew it was the truth. He always would be with me, no matter the days, no matter what may lie ahead.

  “Then just stay with me, here, now. Let’s just take this time out for us," I begged, hoping that for one night I could forget it all and live in the moment. The future couldn’t steal this from me. No matter what the Fates had in store, I could have this.

  “Deal.” Kennan raised his hand to stroke my face gently, staring down into my eyes pleadingly. So many unsaid words left hidden behind the sadness.

  The hours slipped slowly by as we lay there, entwined in one another’s arms. We laughed about our predestined meeting and our life in Chicago before everything fell apart. We lay silently, just listening to one another breathe. The moments ticked by, and as time slipped away, I understood that this was our goodbye. But what a beautiful goodbye it had been. I counted myself lucky that I knew enough about my future that I could tell the person I loved most in the world exactly what he meant to me before I was gone. I silently lifted up a prayer that he would keep on living after I’d gone. A world without Kennan O’Malley would be a dreary place indeed.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  All too soon, night called out, reminding me that I needed to rest. I could feel the coming storm, raging in the distance. Static charged the air as the darkness loomed, I knew it was time. Everything was going to end soon. As a yawn escaped my mouth, Kennan pulled me closer to his body. It was practically an acrobatic feat to not brush against any of runes, but tonight, it seemed it no longer mattered.

  “Do you want me to block you?” Kennan ran is fingers through my hair, causing me to drift further towards sleep.

  “No, it is best that this ends as soon as it can. If that means that I must be marked tonight, then so be it.”

  “We could have one more day," Kennan pleaded.

  “One more day would never be enough. I would always want for more. It is best to stop running and face what is coming head-on," I whispered silently, hoping that he understood. An eternity with him would never be long enough. One more day would be nothing more than a tease.

  “I know you’re right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.” Kennan pulled me close, kissing me deeply. “I love you Mrs. O’Malley, forever and for always.”

  “I love you Mr. Boone, forever and for always.” I smiled up at him brightly, wondering how long it would take him to respond.

  “I would take your name any day.” He kissed me once more, softly, before whispering “Sweet dreams.”

  “Goodnight," I muttered as the last of my awareness slipped away.

  It was the same vision or dream I’d been having for months. I stood on the clouds watching the Angels rage a war, only this time things were different. Events moved before my eyes as if they were moving through some viscous fluid. Nothing happened in real time, and as I made my way through the battlefield, I could see the strain on each of the faces as they battled in the war that would not end.

  “It’s a pity, is it not?” A man’s voice startled me from my examination.

  “Well, you’re new.” I turned, wide-eyed to face the man that the voice belonged to. Only, he wasn’t exactly a man, what with the giant wings rising up from his back and the blinding glow radiating from his body. He wasn’t a man at all.

  “I am Uriel.” He bowed deeply, his downy wings dusting the ground as he went.

  “Okay. I’m guessing I should know who you are. They didn’t give me the handbook, so really, I’ve got no clue.” I stared in amazement at him, totally forgetting the battle around me. I was sure there was some sort of protocol that I should’ve been following. I mean, there had to be some sort of precedence for meeting with angels. Should I bow? Swear my allegiance? Offer up a goat?

  “I am the source, the Origin of the Seers and Guardians. Some have called me the ‘Fire of God’," Uriel supplied, tilting his head to the side in question as if he were listening in on my internal dialogue. I’m sure he probably was.

  “So, whatcha doing in my dream?” I asked slowly. Plowing right on through seemed to be the way to go these days. I just hoped it would work with this guy. Even more, I hoped that he would not prove to be as evasive as all of his creations.

  “I’ve come to tell you, your day draws nigh," Uriel provided. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

  “Well, I sort of knew that already. Anything else? Any messages you want me to pass on to the Old Ones. Oh, by the way, that Emmanuel guy you created has gone totally batshit crazy. Just, you know, in case you weren’t aware. Did you create them, because I sort of thought the whole Creation thing was God’s department.” I couldn’t shut myself up. I was standing there, talking to what I could only imagine was an archangel and all I could do was yammer. My brain had finally snapped. I’d known that it was only a matter of time, I just hoped that it would’ve waited until after the defeating the darkness bit.

  “No, I am not the creator, I am the source. The overseer perhaps would be a better term. And yes, I am aware of Emmanuel, but like all mankind, Seers and Guardians are given a choice. Even the ones of old. He will serve his purpose, as do all men.” Uriel looked slightly bored with my questions which was causing me to get really indignant.

  “So, we really are all just a bunch of game pieces to you lot, aren’t we?” Now, I was just getting angry.

  “This is no game. This is a war. A war of darkness pressing against light since the dawn of time. There will always be upswings and downswings, but we must keep fighting. We must use all that is at our hands to ensure that man survives.” His eyes lit up with a churning fire as he seemed to grow ever taller.

  “Okay, so what is all this then? Why do I keep seeing this?” I gestured around me at the angels and demons battling.

  “This is a reminder. You are not the only ones that must fight. The fight exists on all planes, Izzy. Even on ours. Yours is not the only sacrifice, nor shall it be the last," Uriel provided.

  “Cait," I whispered.

  “Yes. She did something that was never asked of her. The demon never would have been strong enough to remain on the corporeal plane for long, yet she still sacrificed herself to ensure the world’s safety.”

  “But did you ask this of me? How can I feel like it is even a choice, when my fate was written before I took my first breath?” I’d been struggling with the knowledge that I was powerless to control my own destiny. Maybe I could finally find some concrete answers.

  “Because you do have a choice. You can walk away, and leave man to deal with the repercussions.” Awesome, more “it
is your choice” propaganda.

  “No, I can’t," I stated the obvious. I would be a monster if I walked away and left the world to burn. The vision of Chicago raced through my mind anew, the darkness consuming the man, eating away at him like some sort of virus.

  “Which is precisely why you were chosen to fulfill this calling. Go forth bravely, Izzy. The fight has just begun.” Uriel motioned towards the ground.

  The battle sped up around me as Uriel faded away. The shrieks of the demons echoed around the clouds, sending chills down my spine. I moved forward, to the place I knew I must go. To my end.

  I fell through the clouds, down to where the battle raged. I looked at the people I loved. The time was here. I embraced the demon, hoping that it would end how it did every other time I’d had the vision.

  “Oh, that’s precious. You’re giving him a hug? I’m sure that will make everything better for him. Solve all of those pesky hate problems he seems to have. Are you going to hug me as well? Maybe I wasn’t hugged enough early in life. Perhaps that is why I’m doing this now.” Emmanuel’s glee made me want to throat punch the bastard.

  “Well, get it over with. I know why you’re here. Just slap the last mark on and let’s get this little game of chicken over with.”

  “You do realize you will never win? There is no scenario in which you come out of this unscathed," Emmanuel mocked.

  “I’m fully aware of what I’m about to face.” Not a bit of inflection graced my words. I was wrung out, tired from the game. I just wanted it to be done.

  “You know you won’t be able to just hug it out with the demon, correct?” Emmanuel seemed to be enjoying himself, mocking me at every turn. I would really love it if I could somehow kill the meddling moron while taking down the demon. If was I truly lucky, they may just be connected.

  “If you could shut the hell up and mark me, I would really appreciate it.” I stood, rooted in place, unwilling to show any signs of weakness. It was time.