The Trash Tier Dungeon

by Kaye Fairburn

  Micah frowned. “Why’s everyone in our guild so mean to each other?”

  “I’m very nice. I could’ve let you guys stay dead,” Evangeline said. “And I could have refused to help Robin with his little revenge mission. It’s such a personal problem.”

  “Getting Talon’s daggers back is everyone’s problem,” Jennifer said.

  “One more to go,” Robin said. “And for the last time, they’re my daggers now.”

  Xander piped up. “Is there a key that we need to find?”

  “Nope,” Robin confirmed.

  Evangeline backed up from the group. She fit her arrow to the string. “I’m ready in case anything springs out of it. Go ahead.”

  Their party leader popped open the lid. Something within the chest slithered. It creepy-crawled, an outpouring of disgust. To call it an “it” sounded wrong. It was only an “it” in the sense that an amorphous blob of spider-mites can be an “it.” They were an “it” in the same way that a pack of swarming bugs was an “it.”

  Robin shrieked.

  ***

  Arden couldn’t stop laughing at their misery, her volume set for only Minette to hear. They’d been going over their game plan the whole time that the adventurers were wandering their dungeon.

  “Sending in the next four cattens and our spiny lynx,” Minette said. “Our traps are ready, too.”

  Every time the adventurers did something to top Arden’s list of favorite moments (the crown of which went to Robin’s panic over the bugs), they did something else that was better. Robin frantically brushed at the bugs crawling up his body. He flung his arms back and forth like a puppet with busted strings.

  He flung bugs off of him. They hit Jennifer. She held back her scream, biting her bottom lip as she activated her electro-aura. The bugs crisped.

  Robin rushed into the nearest wall. Xander cast a healing spell on him.

  Evangeline fired arrows at the ground. She swore as she missed. It appeared that there were far more spider-mites now than when Arden had led them into the treasure chest.

  Could the situation get any better?

  The Basic Nets fell from the ceiling.

  That’s right.

  The nets fell on top of the adventurers, swallowing them like hands enclosing over fish in a shallow barrel. Cattens, pulled along by the green circles of Minette’s Influence, came flying down the hall. The adventurers writhed. They were shouting things that Arden was too busy laughing to listen to.

  Jennifer’s electro-aura ripped her net apart. Arden told Minette to save the spiny lynx for her. Meanwhile, the cattens ignored her. Their focus was on the other netted adventurers. They each grabbed a hold of one, dragging them down the hall in spite of their protests. The cattens’ mission operated on a mixture of surprise and confusion.

  They dragged the others along, bringing them closer to the fork in the hallway where the spiny lynx was. The spiny lynx took potshots off of them when they passed. Evangeline activated her shield skill, turning purple.

  Her kidnapper took her down the left path. Pulling her along a pit trap activated it, both of them falling into the six-foot hole.

  Evangeline broke free, the catten on top of her. She shoved her bow against its throat, pushing its snapping jaws away. Saliva shot out of its mouth. Its claws dug into her, finding purchase.

  The catten dragging Micah took him in the same direction. It jumped into the hole, Micah coming crashing down over Evangeline and the other catten. The four of them entered a clash of limbs, claws, and a whole bunch of flailing.

  The struggle became more real in the pinched quarters that they were in. Micah’s hands glowed, grasping onto whatever he could. He didn’t have the space to toss the catten out of the hole. They were too bunched together and Evangeline couldn’t shoot them.

  Evangeline’s purple shield reappeared, then an explosion of glittery dust occurred. Minette brought the spiny lynx creeping over to the pit.

  While this happened, the other two cattens had Xander and Robin in their clutches. They went down the rightmost path in the fork. Robin activated his vaulting technique, a blue glow overtaking his body. Daggers outstretched, he burst through the netting, destroying it as he went.

  The floor clicked when he landed. The tile he stood on depressed.

  A spear launched out of the wall. It clocked Robin, slicing him as it went past. That speed buff had come in handy, allowing Robin to turn in time to miss getting hit full on by the spear. Arden bit back her disappointment.

  The catten launched at Robin. He blocked its claws. Robin vaulted again, flipping over the catten and landing beside the catten that was attempting to maul Xander. The cleric kept flashing white, most likely healing himself to live through the onslaught of blows.

  Robin drove his daggers towards the catten attacking the cleric. It rolled out of the way. The other catten leaped onto Robin’s back, bringing him down to the ground. Xander finally broke through the netting.

  “Close your eyes!” he called, brandishing his spellbook.

  Minette’s Influence allowed the cattens to heed the same warning before the blinding flash went off.

  Minette checked in with Arden. “Next surprise? Ready for it?”

  “Hold on,” Arden said. “Wait for my signal.”

  The cattens pretended to scream in pain. Arden didn’t miss the grin on Robin’s face as he raised his daggers–or the way his grin disappeared when the cattens avoided his attack. They surrounded him, not attacking. Encircled, Robin’s whipped around, unsure of what the cattens were planning.

  They blasted past him, their target the cleric. Xander rifled through the pages of his book. He ran.

  “Come and get me, you filthy animals!” Robin shouted.

  The cattens ignored Robin in his attempts to aggravate them. Robin’s eyes glazed over. A red potion replaced one of his daggers. He tossed it to Xander, the boy miraculously catching it.

  “Now,” Arden said to Minette.

  The tarp-covered wall fell away. A catten, once hidden, leaped from it. It tackled Robin.

  Xander cast his Blind spell. He scrambled to get back, away from the cattens. They blinked back tears, their vision lost. They howled. In their confusion, they let the cleric escape.

  Or so he thought.

  Doubling back down the hallway and away from Robin’s screams over being blind, Xander ran into the waiting spiny lynx. It was currently in the midst of a battle with Jennifer, the two of them exchanging spikes and electro-balls.

  Minette’s green Influence cradled the spiny lynx. It flung its next set of spikes at the cleric.

  Xander blocked the attack, but his block didn’t soak up enough of the damage. He exploded into glittery dust. A bunch of his items spun around where he once stood. A golden skull rested in his place.

  Jennifer’s final volley of electrical blasts destroyed the spiny lynx. She snatched up the cleric’s skull before bounding down the hall where Robin and the three cattens were.

  His flame dagger sparked to life as she arrived. He sliced through the catten that had him pinned, a trail fire spilling over its open wound. The creature ignited, the others hissing and backing away from the flames. Its howls burned away in the fire.

  Their distance gave an opening for Jennifer. Electricity flew from her staff. It jolted through the cattens. The group’s Morale dropped drastically.

  Minette’s Influence flashed under the cattens, but they wouldn’t move from their spots. They shied from the fire.

  Robin held a similar “avoid the fire” mindset. Hugging the far wall, he slid past the still burning catten.

  “Ignore them and c’mon,” he said.

  His mage disagreed with that plan. Jennifer thrust her wizardry staff towards the ceiling, harnessing electrical energy from wherever it was that humans derived their mana–probably a strong sense of pride and accomplishment.

  It blasted off, hitting all three of the cattens like an electrical version of the Basic Net trap.

&n
bsp; Her area of effect spell finished off the creatures.

  Exhaling a deep breath, Jennifer threw Robin a look. “What did you say about ignoring them?”

  “Whatever. We lost Xander. Where’d the others get dragged off to?”

  “They’re down the other hallway.”

  Jennifer and Robin returned to the hall where they last saw Micah and Evangeline. The open, activated pit trap was evidence that they’d once been there.

  “Don’t go down the hall,” Robin warned. His golden glasses glinted. “There are traps along the walls.”

  Jennifer scraped her finger along the rim of the pit trap. “And there’s some jelly here.”

  Robin leaned up on his tiptoes. “There’s an incline, right outside of the pit. They must’ve crawled out of the hole, then slid the whole way down.” He nodded, a fan of his own deductive reasoning skills.

  “Okay. Let’s go down there and rescue them.”

  “We should attack the traps first or else we could get hit. I’ll tell you where to aim. See that slight indentation? Move three clicks to the left of it.”

  “How much is a click?”

  Robin clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “About that much.”

  “That’s not a measurement.”

  “Just go to the left a smidgen. You know what a smidgen is, don’t you?”

  “Sure. Sometimes I want to kill you a smidgen.”

  “That’s the spirit.”

  Chapter 22

  Micah came to at the bottom of the hill. His head spun, a cloudiness appearing at the edge of his vision. Thick goop in her hair, Evangeline laid next to him. He patted the side of her face to revive her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she blinked rapidly until she came back into focus.

  “Looks like Xander’s gone,” Evangeline said, getting up. She brushed the slimy gunk out of her hair.

  “Do you hear that?” Micah cupped his ear.

  “Sounds kind of like Jen’s sparkles.”

  “Yeah, but, besides that. I’m talking about the growling.” The hallway stretched ahead, two passageways jutting off of it. They could either take the first or second right, or keep moving forward. “I think it’s coming from there.”

  Four cattens sprung forward, appearing from around the closest corner. Evangeline attempted to back up but found her foot sliding as it met the slope. Without much space to go, the fighting would be tight. Noticing this, Micah tugged on her arm.

  “Watch this,” he said.

  The cattens rushed for them, moving on their own accord. Minette’s Influence wasn’t necessary this time. Micah’s hands glowed blue. He grappled the first catten that came towards them, picking it up with his enhanced might. He tossed it.

  Evangeline shot it multiple times in succession, hitting it as it fell to the ground. The other cattens, though, she struggled to hit. She threw up her purple shield, then tried to circle around the creatures.

  They weren’t having any of that.

  The catten launched at her stomach, claws outstretched to skewer her. Evangeline’s Dodge skill allowed her to get by with a scrape. Micah’s ax reappeared in his hand, in time for him to bat a catten with the blunt edge. Evangeline used her bow like it was a bat. It smacked into the side of a catten. The hit creature shook off the blow, then went in for a bite.

  Although arrows stuck out of it, the fourth catten listened to Minette’s Influence on it as it targeted the archer.

  Micah whirled around, his hands glowing. He grabbed the catten by the scruff of the neck, then threw it to the others.

  “Distance!” Evangeline shouted. Her shoes glowed red. They carried her fast down the hall, and she disappeared around the bend.

  “Wait!” Micah shouted after her. He chopped a catten with his ax, the creature bursting into glitter soon after.

  The three remaining cattens stood their ground before him.

  Micah growled back at them.

  Two arrows to the back of the head dropped the cattens’ numbers to two.

  Minette’s voice broke through to Arden, “Are you ready?”

  Arden’s mouth moved, her voice set for only Minette to hear, “Back him up a little.”

  While viewing everything from the shared Overview mode, Arden had been resting against the ceiling directly above where Micah now stood. She had hoped that Robin would be the one getting her drop, but this would do as well. She’d been waiting for an unsuspecting prey this entire time.

  Minette’s Influence lit up beneath the last pair of cattens. They launched at Micah, purposely moving past him. He spun around, confused. His misstep placed him exactly where Arden wanted him.

  She switched into her spiny lynx Disguise. At the same time, she equipped the flame dagger, the blade appearing in her mouth. No longer having her wings to suspend her, Arden fell on top of Micah. He grunted as he tumbled. Arden twisted her head, getting in a slice or two before moving off of him so the cattens could have their turn.

  Evangeline used the bend in the hall for cover. She popped out, letting loose a series of arrows. The majority of them wound up in Arden. Only a couple shots made it to the cattens and of those only one hit.

  “She’s charging her shots. 32 damage taken,” Minette announced. “Robin and Jennifer are sliding down. The backup squad might not make it in time.”

  Arden pushed through the searing pain in her side and charged for the archer. Evangeline blasted her with an arrow, the projectile piercing her front paw. Arden leaned down, and cast a Hallucination of spikes flying off of her back. Evangeline twisted out of the way of them.

  Micah shoved the cattens off of him. His hands wrapped around their throats, one palm on each. A rage-filled scream filled the air as he crushed them. They turned into glittery dust. His ax reappeared. He raised it over his head.

  “It’s the pixie!” he shouted.

  He would’ve said more if it weren’t for his teammates suddenly crashing into him from the slippery slope. The three of them ended up in a tangled heap. Robin did most of the complaining.

  Arden switched into her humanoid Disguise, her body bent and an arrow pierced through her left hand. The dagger was still clenched between her teeth. She yanked the arrow, freeing her hand from the ground.

  Evangeline’s next arrow hit her throat.

  “20 damage,” Minette said.

  Although she gurgled and looked all kinds of disgusting, Arden shrugged off the hit. She threw her dagger at the ground beside Evangeline.

  An audible click happened as the trap was activated.

  A net dropped from the ceiling. Evangeline stepped out of its way, jumping back and—

  Click!

  A spear shot out from the wall. Evangeline couldn’t dodge it, noticing it far too late. It struck her in the side.

  This time, Arden’s thrown dagger didn’t miss. The force of it hitting her knocked Evangeline backward, sending her stumbling out of her stance. It didn’t help that there was some surprise goop on the floor behind her. She hit her head hard, then exploded into glitter dust, a pile of random items, and a lovely golden skull.

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”

  The adventurers didn’t give Arden any more time to gloat.

  They killed her instead, her world becoming blindingly white as Jennifer zapped her into oblivion.

  ***

  Arden revived sometime later, waking up in the Dungeon Heart room. Minette’s orb was colored a concentrated crimson. Wisps of green swirled off of her like a plume off of incense.

  Her tongue was thick in her mouth. Words groggy, Arden asked, “What happened while I was out?”

  It took Minette a moment to answer. “Robin’s got his daggers back now. Did you have to throw the flame dagger at him?”

  “Oops. Yeah, that was a bit of an oversight there.” The sacrifice had to be made so she could take down Evangeline. “At least I killed her.”

  “They’re still looking for us. No one’s happy.”

  “Of course
not. There’s only three out of five of them left. I wouldn’t be happy either. How’s our catten count?”

  “We’re down to three.”

  “I was asleep for that long?!”

  “They’re mowing through them. Here, I’ll switch into the Overview mode. Maybe you’ll be able to come up with something we can do. I’m building a couple more with what we have left of our shinies. It’s gonna take some time until they’re finished.”

  In the Overview mode, Arden could see that the adventurers were following the long stretch. They were nearing the swirly maze, which meant they weren’t too far off from the Dungeon Heart. If they barreled through the passageways fast enough, they’d make it to Minette and destroy her.

  That wouldn’t do at all.

  “Gather some workercats. I have an idea that should slow them down without us having to lose any more cattens,” Arden said.

  ***

  “This dungeon loves its goop,” Micah said, scraping the heel of his boots against the wall.

  “It sure does. I’m getting the feeling that they must’ve run out of money for more traps.” Robin knocked on the walls.

  “Yeah, they love their goop,” Micah repeated.

  “And monsters,” Jennifer said.

  “And goop,” Micah said again.

  “Is something wrong with you?” Robin asked. He snapped his fingers. “Focus!”

  “Sorry. I’ve got a headache.” Micah rubbed his eyes. “I think this dungeon’s getting to me.”

  “I know Xander and Evangeline are dead, but you’ve got to pull yourself together. They won’t be dead forever,” Robin said. “We’ll pick them up after we’re done.”

  “Maybe we should rest for a moment. We’ve got Talon’s daggers. We can relax for a moment,” Jennifer suggested.

  “No breaks!” Robin barked.

  Micah held up his hands. “I’ll be fine.”

  Jennifer didn’t look like she believed him. “I don’t have a great feeling about what’s going on here. The number of monsters has definitely been thinning out. They might be massing them at the Dungeon Heart room for their final stand.”