Igniting Ash

by M.A. Stacie

  Asher

  Asher hated decisions being made for him. There had been very few people in his life that had told him what to do, he’d always been responsible for his own choices. So when Emma had turned up with Gabe he’d wanted to growl and send her away. Their relationship was changed and he grew agitated, wondering if he should stop it now. Feelings were starting to get involved, and in his experience, it couldn’t end well.

  A small voice inside of his head asked him why there needed to be an end. Why couldn’t this be the one thing he’d always wanted? It felt real between them. He trusted her with his truths, and even though he’d wanted to rant at her for bringing Gabe, he’d buckled under her gentle persuasion. That never happened.

  Until Emma.

  When he was with her, he felt a kind of balance. That balance usually disappeared when Emma left him. From that moment all he did was question their entire relationship. He’d found her when he hadn’t even been looking.

  Or rather she’d found him. And now he didn’t know how he was going to let her go.

  “Hey, Asher?”

  He blinked, looking over at Gabe. “Huh?”

  “I was talking to you. You were somewhere else though.”

  “Sorry,” he replied before sitting down on the floor near Gabe. “I was thinking.”

  Gabe pursed his lips. “You don’t have to let me down gently, you know. I can take it. You don’t need me, right?”

  “What? No, that’s not it at all. Actually, I’ve liked having you here.”

  Gabe’s lips twitched. He was trying to hide a smile. He played it cool and gave Asher a nod. “Good. It’s not as boring as I thought it would be.”

  Asher snorted. “I remember saying something very similar to Ike.”

  “He’s the guy that owned this place before you?” He sat down next to Asher, both of them looking at the floor. “Priss said he left you the place when he died.”

  “She’s got a big mouth and offers up way too much, but she’s right. Ike was a great man. Saved me from the shit I was dealing with at home.”

  Gabe’s head rose at the same time Asher’s did. He searched Asher’s face, but Asher remained silent. This conversation was going to move at Gabe’s pace not his.

  “Your family sucked too?”

  “Beyond. I ended up living here with Ike. Slept on his couch for years. It was better than the alternative. I didn’t know about shelters or people like Emma. In the end I guess I didn’t need to know because Ike was there for me.”

  “Didn’t your family come looking for you?”

  Struck by the horror of the answer, Asher shook his head. No one had come for him because there had been no one left. His mother has been incarcerated, her boyfriend arrested and pleading complete innocence. All the while his father lay on a cold slab in the morgue.

  A shiver crept down his spine and his skin grew cold. Whenever he thought about it the loss was the same. He doubted that would change.

  “My dad couldn’t give a shit,” Gabe said softly as he started to fumble with his shoelace. “Only time he cared was when he was too drunk to do something. He’d yell for me then. Hiding is pretty useless with him. He always found me, but the worst he ever did was pass out. That’s when the shit really starts…” Gabe shuddered. “Looks like Priss was right. We kind of are the same.”

  “Emma hasn’t spoken to me about your home life. Just that you need this job to be able to get a place with a charity project.”

  “Yeah. She researched it and found all the details.” He shuffled around until he faced Asher. “I’ll work really hard. I promise. I have to; I can’t go back to that house. He doesn’t stop. He…There’s no line with him. Especially not if he’s been drinking or downed a few pills. I ended up in hospital. Hurt. Like, really hurt. I was scared he wouldn’t stop. And you know what that was about? Three biscuits. I took three biscuits from his packet because I was hungry. There wasn’t anything else in the house to eat.” He sagged, his eyes closing for a split second. “I haven’t told her who. I shouldn’t have told you who. I don’t want…I…I just want to get away from it.”

  Asher gulped. Christ, this kid got to him. He understood why Emma was consumed with helping him. “You haven’t told me who. So, no worries. Were you holding out until you were old enough to go it alone?”

  Gabe hummed in agreement. “I can do it without having a social worker on my back. I can take care of myself.”

  “You do it anyway.” Asher understood the kid’s strength and his will to make his life his own. He had nothing but respect for him. Along with a little bit of pride. The kid hadn’t buckled under the abuse. Nor had he. That sealed the deal for Asher. “I’ve never had anyone help around here before. You might find me a bit quiet most of the time.”

  Hope flared in Gabe’s eyes. “I can go without chatting. If you tell me what to do I’ll get on with it.”

  “I don’t have a set amount of hours that I need you. It could change each week.”

  “I don’t think that matters. Emma just said the charity had to check my employment, and that they’d keep track with you that I was still working here for me to qualify for the programme. I have to finish school too. Work would need to fit in with that.”

  “Emma has worked hard finding this placement for you.” Another burst of pride bloomed in his chest, only this time it was for Emma. “She’s left me some documentation to go through. I don’t think there was anything like this available when I was…well, you know. But then I suppose there might have been. I refused to accept the help. Until Ike.”

  “Didn’t your mum or dad see you working here?”

  Asher sneered. “They weren’t book people. This was one place I could have stayed and they wouldn’t have ever found me. Besides, by then my dad had died. He would have been the one to help me. Not that he knew the truth of it all. Seems we’re both pretty good at keeping secrets.”

  Gabe exhaled loudly and looked up to the ceiling. He hugged his knees to his chest and took a moment before resting his chin on top of them. “I always thought no one would understand. I mean, you see people with the same shit on TV and read about them in books, but saying things out loud is different.”

  “You’re right. Did Emma tell you I knew her before this place? Before Ike?”

  “Did you?”

  Asher hummed, stretching his legs out in front of him. “We were in the same class at school. I thought she was like all the others—stuck up and snotty. I thought I was invisible to her too. I loaned a pen off her.” He sniggered. “I didn’t forget that, and apparently she didn’t either. But I’m getting side-tracked. Anyway, one night she saw me in town. It was cold, starting to snow, and I was alone in a coat no thicker than your t-shirt. She gave me a tenner and told me to hide out in the cafe. I met Ike in there. I never went home. Emma changed my life too.”

  Gabe leaned forward, interested in what he was saying. “Why didn’t the social workers make you go home?”

  “That’s kind of a long story, but the bottom line is a shitty social worker who was happy to sign me off on the word of my mother. She told them she was happy for me to stay with Ike rather than a kid’s home. Truth is I would have only been able to stay in the home for a year. I wonder if I should thank her for that?”

  “That’s messed up. Did the social worker check Ike out? I mean, I know he was a good guy but…”

  Asher finished the sentence for him when he let it hang. “He might not have been. Is that why you went back to the shelter? Because you knew it was safe?”

  “I know he won’t drag himself out there to find me. He only puts energy into something when it’s worth it to him. I’m not.”

  Asher patted Gabe on the leg, an unfamiliar act of comfort. “We were both given a really shitty start, mate. But we’ve each been given a new start. We should do something with that.”

  Gabe picked a book up off the floor and began flipping through the worn pages. “You like Priss. She’s you’re new start.”
>
  “Ike was my new start.” He swallowed the lump of emotion that balled in his throat. “Em is…something different. Something more.”

  “Maybe she’s the good that you should have had but didn’t. I always thought I’d get that good bit that everyone else gets. Only I had to wait longer for mine, and when I get it it’ll be even better because it’s been owed to me for years.” He grinned.

  Asher looked at him, seeing the hope shine in his eyes. He was amazed the boy still held a drop of it. He certainly hadn’t. “That’s a bloody great way of looking at it. Going off all the crap you’ve been through you’re due a huge pot of happiness.”

  “Weird that we both get the same person.”

  Scowling, Asher eyed him. Gabe surrendered, holding up his palms. “Hey, don’t stress out. I just meant she’s helping me to sort out my future and she’s the one you’re going to spend yours with. Two lots of happiness but from one person. I like Priss but she’s not my type.”

  “Fair enough.” He slapped Gabe’s leg. “I don’t think she’s into teenagers anyway. I never got a Mrs. Robinson vibe from her.”

  “You don’t know shit,” Gabe scoffed as he stood up and dusted off his jeans. “I’ve seen her smiling at me. I know she would if she didn’t have the love hearts shooting from her eyes for you.”

  Asher pulled himself up. “We’re talking like a pair of girls. Blokes don’t discuss this shit.”

  “Funny, because I don’t talk to anyone about anything. Yet I’ve blabbed more to you in the last thirty minutes than to anyone else. Did you slip something in my drink?”

  Asher laughed and ran his fingers through his hair. “You brought your own. I’m not responsible for that.” He sighed. “We should get back to work. Em will be back soon and I want to show her that I won’t let you slack off.”

  “It’s not her you have to prove that too. That’s the charity.” Gabe picked up another book anyway and turned toward the shelf.

  Asher didn’t get back to work right away. He watched Gabe for a few minutes, weighing up a few thoughts in his mind. His next words shocked him, and would no doubt, stun Emma too. “Gabe? I’m sure Em has discussed the possibility of you talking to someone about it all.”

  The kid’s top lip curled. “Don’t need it. I’m fine. I’m not there anymore so it’s not an issue.”

  “Brave. But probably untrue. I never spoke to anyone. Ike knew the basics and that was enough for him. He told me to go to him if I wanted to share more. I never did. It sat inside me for years, rotting. Instead of making things better for me it actually made me more closed off. You should think about accepting Em’s offer. Even if it’s just to give you someone to purge to.”

  “I’ll think about it,” he muttered at the same time the door to the shop opened.

  Emma’s blue eyes pierced Asher’s. “Everything okay?”

  He drank her in, loving the pink tinge the cold wind had given to her cheeks. The breeze had also mussed her hair, sending her blond curls rioting around her face. A slow smile spread across her face; he couldn’t stop his own from appearing. He walked over to her, his gaze locked to hers. “We’re getting along just fine, angel.”

  “I knew you would.” She raised a tray of cardboard cups. “I brought these for you both.”

  “Thoughtful.” He looped his arm around her waist and pulled her as close as the cups would allow. “I’ll thank you later.”

  Emma peered at him through her lashes, keeping her voice low. “You have a lot to thank me for. I’m not sure a simple thank you will do.”

  “Oh, I intend to do more than that.” He chuckled. “I was thinking,” his hand shifted to cup her butt through her jeans, “that we should…” He lowered his lips to hers until they were barely touching. It was a tease but damn, he couldn’t stop himself.

  “Hmm, yes? You were thinking?”

  He stayed silent for a little while longer, drawing out what he had planned and revelling in the feel of her breath floating across his lips. The hot drinks pressed against his chest, and he debated tossing them out of the way. The urge to be closer to her surged within him, causing his muscles to tighten and his hands to shake. He lost control around her, no matter how much he told himself that letting her mean so much to him could be his downfall. When it came to Emma his heart led the way, his head unable to catch up. He had begun to follow where his heart went, and ignore his doubting head.

  “Asher?”

  “I was thinking.” He kissed her. Just a small, chaste kiss but it still had his lust igniting. “That we should have a night out. Our last date was on the roof. I want to take you away from this building.”

  Giggling, Emma twisted out of his arms and walked over to a smirking Gabe. She handed him one of the cups before looking back at Asher. “Actually, my father’s birthday party is next weekend. I had hoped you’d be my date to that. And we stayed here because…” She let the sentence die off, uncertain how to word the rest of it. However, Asher finished it for her. “We stayed here because I asked you too. Because I hid away like I’ve always done.” He cleared his throat, hoping to stop his voice from cracking. “I don’t want to do that anymore. I’d like to show everyone that you’re mine.”

  “Wow,” Emma exclaimed.

  “That is so girlie, Asher. She has you wrapped around her finger. Carry on. It’s funny to watch.”

  Asher shot a glare Gabe’s way, and grunted, “There are three boxes out back that need unpacking. I reckon that job has your name written all over it. Now.”

  To his credit, Gabe didn’t bother to complain, and he shifted quickly leaving them alone.

  “That was mean,” Emma stated and passed a cup to him.

  He clutched the warm drink between his palms. “Not as mean as Ike was to me. He should consider himself lucky.”

  “I doubt he does.” Pausing, Emma turned to look out of the window in the front door. She squinted and tilted her head, but when Asher was about to ask what was wrong she faced him, smiling again. He raised a brow in question.

  “It’s nothing,” she replied, waving her hand. “You know when you get that weird feeling? Like someone’s watching you? I had it in the coffee shop earlier, and got it just then when we were talking. But, as you can see, there’s no one out there.

  He checked for himself, stalking over to the door and searching the street outside. She was right; there was no one out there. That fact didn’t stop his concern kicking in though.

  “Are you okay? Have you felt it before today?”

  Emma rolled her eyes. “Stop with the dramatics. Let’s get back to your invitation. You said something about me being yours.” She closed the space between them, sighing when he folded his arms around her. Jesus, he’d never get used to the way his body lit up when she pressed herself against him. The sensations were always a revelation. “Is that your acceptance then?”

  “If I remember correctly, you haven’t actually asked me.”

  He kissed her forehead. “How terrible of me. I’m such a bad boyfriend.”

  Her eyes widened with surprise. “Wow, again.”

  “Emma Carnes, will you come on another date with me? A real one this time?”

  Batting her lashes, Emma answered, “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Chapter 20

  Emma

  Emma hadn’t told Asher the truth. The sensation of someone watching her had followed her for the last week. She’d tried to ignore it, telling herself she was being silly. It was all Bolt’s fault. They’d discussed staff security at the shelter while they’d made lunch, and from that moment Emma had been nervous and edgy.

  It didn’t help when Asher’s window had been shattered while she was around. A small part of her blamed herself, even though she had no idea why that was the case. For that reason, she kept her thoughts from Asher. He could do without her doubts. He had enough of his own.

  She stared across the bowling alley at the man in question. He was getting better. He opened up more to her than eve
r before, and Gabe had disclosed a few details about conversations he’d held with Asher. She kept her questions gentle and never too invasive unless he responded to them. There was something about Asher that shot straight to her core, and the more time she spent with him the more her feelings grew. There had been boyfriends before him; one she’d cared about deeply. None of them matched Asher.

  Emma was falling for him, and there was not a thing she could do to fight it. Even when she was uncertain Asher would reciprocate. Her feelings for him scared her, so there was no way she would confess them to Asher and scare the hell out of him too. She would continue to tread carefully.

  From his place at the bar, Asher turned to face her and shot her a lopsided grin. His hair flopped over his forehead and into his eyes. He flicked his head back, shifting the hair before he winked at her. Her insides flip-flopped, only growing in intensity when he lifted their drinks and started to walk across the room toward her.

  The date at the bowling alley was unexpected. The place was busy and that would usually mean Asher would avoid it. However, he appeared comfortable, oozing confidence in his ripped jeans and worn, black top. Emma was a bit overdressed because she hadn’t known where he intended on taking her. He’d refused her request to drop by her flat and change her clothes. From the glint in his eyes, he was more than happy with her dress. The heels had to go though. Now replaced by the retro bowling shoes.

  “I felt you staring at me, angel.”

  “I wasn’t staring. I’d only just looked your way,” she protested, taking the beer from him.

  His gaze drifted down her body like a slow, seductive caress. It left her skin hot and a shiver racing up her spine.

  “Those shoes don’t really go with that dress.”

  “Says the fashion guru? The guy in torn jeans?”

  Asher chuckled then took a swig from his water. “Last time I got dressed up you took those clothes off,” he said, lowering his voice.

  Emma spluttered, his statement unexpected. “I recall clothes being removed by both of us.”