Igniting Ash

by M.A. Stacie

  “True, but I’m pretty sure now isn’t the time for a repeat performance.”

  Emma gasped and gave his chest a light shove. “You’re not funny. I wasn’t sure what to wear because you never told me where we were going. I did not expect here.”

  Asher chuckled again. “I thought it would be fun. We don’t have enough fun.” He placed the water bottle onto the table and pulled her close. “I’m trying here. Trying for normal, Em. You deserve normal. Fact is you deserve so much more, so that’s why I’m attempting to give you this.” He ran his hand down her back, lightly resting it at the base of her spine. “Let’s have this.”

  Relaxing against him, she sighed. “What lane are we on?”

  He put some space between them and took hold of her hand. “This way, my lady.”

  Emma followed him, noticing the lingering glances some of the teenage girls shot Asher’s way. They giggled between themselves, whispering and pointing. They liked him; hadn’t Emma been drooling over him herself only a few moments ago? They rarely went anywhere outside of the bookstore, so watching the obvious attraction in the girls’ eyes was strange to say the least. It didn’t stop her clinging tighter to him, showing everyone that Asher was with her.

  “Lane twelve, just for you.” He sat behind the console and began tapping their names into it. “Angel and Ash. Has a ring to it doesn’t it?”

  “Not as much as winner does.” She sashayed over to the lane, collecting a bowling ball on the way. She knew he was watching her, could feel his stare burning holes in her back, and because of that she took her time bending over to bowl. She may have also given her bottom a little shake.

  The ball hit just two pins, the tremble in her hand and her awareness of Asher leaving her distracted.

  “Nice try,” Asher scoffed. “But I’ll show you how it’s really done.”

  Emma wasn’t about to let it drop. She waited until he selected a ball, stalled until he bent over, until she whispered in his ear. “I know how to play with balls, Asher.”

  The bowling ball hit the floor with a thump, before curving into the gutter. Emma laughed as he grunted. “Damn, tease.”

  “Just using all of my available tools. And making our date fun. Like you said.”

  “Mean, Em, very mean.” His tone was serious but he ruined his stoicism by kissing her hard on the lips. She clutched at his top, relaxing into his arms as his lips moved over hers. The giggle from the group of girls was what distracted them, causing them to pull apart.

  Asher’s brows knitted together, and he shuffled awkwardly on his feet. Emma started to tell him to ignore them when he turned and began walking over to the rack of balls. “Time to show you how it’s really done.”

  The old Asher—the quiet loner—disappeared quickly, leaving behind a confident man she was growing to adore. Watching the way he moved, showed her how much he’d changed. No longer did he hang his head or stare at the floor, and if there was a fleeting moment of uncertainty, he hid it well.

  Emma realized there were times when he searched for balance. His eyes would dart around the crowded room, that familiar scowl appearing across his brow. Those were the moments he touched her, taking hold of her hand, kissing her or holding her close. She liked how comfortable he was doing that now. He didn’t think before he reached for her. It was instinct to him now, like it was for her.

  His cheer snapped her out of her musings, and as she looked at the end of the lane she saw he’d knocked down all of the pins. Strike. She clapped, her eyes widening when he rushed at her and picked her off her feet. Asher swung her around, whooping his happiness. “Strike! I told you I’d show you how it was done. Beat that.”

  “And why would I want to do that when you’re so happy when you’re winning?” Her feet meet the floor as his lips landed on her forehead in a lingering kiss.

  “Told you I’d do it.”

  “You did.” Emotion had her heart clenching and pounding a rapid beat. Carefree Asher was a sight to behold and one she admitted she loved.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, stooping to meet her gaze. “You’ve gone a bit pale. I was only joking around.”

  She loved him.

  Staring at him she knew that truth absolutely. It shouldn’t have been a shock; she had accepted her growing feelings, but love? Love was something much more. Would Asher be receptive to such overwhelming honesty? He was changing—evolving as he opened up to her, but was he open enough to accept her love?

  The thought that he wouldn’t doused her warm buzz in cold reality. She couldn’t lose him, couldn’t accept that he wasn’t now an integral part of her life.

  “Em? Angel, what’s up?”

  Taking a deep breath, she gulped before unleashing her revelation. “I love you.”

  His jaw stiffened, his green eyes sharpening. “Aww Em, you don’t want to be doing that. You’ve seen me. I’m far from a good bet.”

  “Bit late to be warning me now.” Rejection left a sour taste in her mouth.

  “I recall I warned you before now that I was a mess. I don’t know how to be boyfriend material.”

  “You do,” she protested. “You’ve been exactly that for weeks with me now. You’ve taken so many steps to alter the path you were on.” She gestured around the bowling alley. “Look around you, Asher. A couple of months ago you would have never come here. Let alone be here on a date.”

  He sneered. “That’s because I didn’t have a date to bring.”

  “Bullshit,” she responded, giving his chest a shove. “Ben made sure you didn’t stagnate in the book shop. He got you out. That’s how we reconnected, idiot. Don’t dare tell me you haven’t been out, kissed, or slept with a woman in all these years.”

  Hanging his head, he rubbed the back of his neck with the palm of his hand. Emma barely caught his mumbled reply. “Not like this.”

  “What do you mean? I just told you that I love you, yet you told me not to.” She ignored the stares from the people around them, too set on getting answers to care. “You say that sleeping with other women isn’t the same as it is with me. So either they were amazing and I’m not, or you do feel something for me. That’s why we’re different. Which is it, Asher?”

  He started to speak but closed his mouth before anything came out. Her frustration grew, both with him and herself for being so damn stupid. Her confession should have been kept to herself. Opening her big mouth had gotten her nowhere.

  “Not here,” he said as he looked anxiously around the alley. His hand wrapped around her arm and he led her out of the building and around the back. One solitary light cast its glow across the ground. They were alone except for a couple of broken bowling pins and a stool by the back door. Emma assumed it was where the employees came for a break or to smoke.

  “Why did you say that?” Asher asked, his voice strangled and husky. He ran his fingers through his hair, giving the ends a tug. She hated seeing him confused. He never thought he was worthy, and yet he couldn’t be further from the truth. He gave his friends so much, though only ever expected pain and recriminations in return. Emma’s heart wept for him. She wouldn’t give up on him, no matter how hard he tried to turn her away.

  “I said it because I mean it,” she said, lifting her hand and pressing her palm to his cheek.

  “Why then? In there?”

  “It just came out. Ash, you looked so happy I couldn’t stop from blurting it out. I love it when you forget everything and simply be you.”

  He took a step back, shaking his head. “I meant what I said. I’m not good for you. You’re…Well, you’re so perfect and amazing and innocent and…clean. I’d just dirty you and that’s wrong.”

  Hurt burned a hole in her chest. No amount of swallowing scorched the flames. “Don’t you want me anymore? Is that it?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying,” he hissed, his hands clenching at his sides.

  “Is there no way back from this? Are my feelings too much for you? Are we done, Asher?”

 
; “I…Fuck!” He kicked the wall.

  Emma’s eye pricked with tears. However, she blinked them back. This was her fault, so she’d take his upset and cry later. Alone. “You’re not ready. I’m not who you want, am I?”

  Asher froze, his eyes zeroing in on her. His nostrils flared, his expression hard and focused totally on her. Her pulse quickened. She wasn’t scared of him, however she had experienced his mood swing before and knew this was how he processed stress. She backed up against the fence to give him some space. To gain some of her own.

  “You think I don’t want you? You actually think you haven’t knocked me for six since you walked into my life?” He hit his temple with the heel of his hand. “I can’t fucking think straight when you’re near me. And even when you’re not my ability is still diminished. It’s you. All of it is you. Don’t tell me I don’t want you, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  He pressed his body against hers, his heat rolling off him and thawing the chill that had sprouted from their argument. Her back hit the fence, and her gasp of surprise echoed around the backyard when she felt his very obvious, hard interest as it pushed against the zip of his jeans. “I want you, angel.” His hips rocked against hers. “I want you.”

  “There are times when I think you want me gone as much as you want me to stay,” she whispered. The pump of her blood roared in her ears.

  Asher didn’t reply. His mouth crushed to hers in a desperate demand; his hands gripping onto her hips. His intense passion set her on fire, little gasps of pleasure emitting from her lips each time he adjusted the angle of his lips. Every cell in her body tuned to his as she was carried away with the strength of his kiss.

  “I want you,” he repeated lowly before kissing her again.

  Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, clutching at the back of his top. His lips flowed along her jaw and kissed an open-mouthed path along her neck. Her knees grew weak. This man and his conflicting emotions consumed her on every level. His desire right now was startling, an unbelievable revelation. Asher was usually so careful in public, so guarded where others could see, and even though there was no one around, it still contrasted with his normal control. She liked feeling his desperation, enjoyed knowing he felt a small amount of what she did, even if he didn’t know how to express it.

  “I want you,” he whispered again as his hands swept underneath the hem of her dress. He traced the edge of her underwear, eliciting a shiver from Emma. She gave a soft moan, pushing her hips toward him, wanting to show him that she was on board.

  “Yes,” she gasped. “Asher, show me.”

  His mouth crushed to hers again, his tongue delving and sliding luxuriously against hers. His hand cupped her satin-covered sex, his middle finger stroking her wet seam. Her hips bucked, lust starting a simmer in her blood. Her thoughts clouded, becoming lost to her when he pushed his hand into her underwear and parted her sex with his fingers. All the while, his mouth caressed her neck and shoulder, his tongue lapping at the burning skin.

  Emma writhed against his hand, her head falling back to hit the fence. With her throat exposed, Asher moved his mouth to the untouched skin, and all she could do was hold on tight and let him carry her with him.

  But something wasn’t right.

  Emma froze, the prickling feeling breaking out across her skin. The same sensation she’d had a few times over the past week. Someone was watching them.

  “Asher,” she said, her tone somewhat panicked. “Asher, stop.” She patted him on the shoulder. “Someone’s watching. I can feel it.”

  He looked up at her, his eyes swimming in confusion. “What?”

  “I d-don’t know. I just feel it. Please, can we get out of here? It gives me the creeps.”

  Pulling his hand out of her panties, he offered her a tight smile. “Sure. I took this too far anyway.” He spun around and began walking back around to the front of the bowling alley.

  Rejection hit hard once again. “Asher! Wait!”

  He turned to face her as she rushed to catch up with him. “You didn’t take it too far. I was with you,” she said. “But there was someone there, Ash. I swear to you.” She exhaled in frustration. “You have no reason to be annoyed. I’m the one who laid it all out there for you to stomp all over.”

  “I did not stomp, angel.”

  “You didn’t welcome it either.”

  The muscle in his cheek ticked. He threw his hands into the air. “I’m lost how to deal with what you said. I don’t know what to do. That shouldn’t be a huge surprise for you. It’s not the first time I’ve been clueless.”

  He was right; he did look lost and utterly forlorn, but Emma wasn’t going to hide her feelings. Asher deserved to know the truth.

  “I’m going home, Asher. I told you I wasn’t making any demands and I meant it. Don’t follow me. Think about what happened here tonight and remember I meant every word.”

  Emma walked away, fighting the urge to look back and fighting the urge to run.

  Chapter 21

  “So the dickhead broke your heart?”

  Emma glared at her friend. She’d been reading through some documents and taking notes for her father when Meagan decided Emma didn’t need to work. She’d walked in the office and hadn’t really stopped talking since. Emma had given her a few details on the night with Asher, though she hadn’t confessed her feelings. The sting of Asher’s reaction was far too raw. It seemed that Meagan had worked it out already though.

  “What on earth makes you think I have a broken heart?” She kept her eyes on the screen in front of her.

  “You’re sulking. Asher has to be the reason. If last night went well you wouldn’t be sulking. You’d be on cloud nine.”

  “That doesn’t mean he broke my heart,” Emma shot back. “Things just didn’t go according to plan.” She was sulking, she knew it.

  Meagan’s eyes thinned as they homed in on her. “You lie, Emma Carnes. I’ve known you my entire life and I know when you’re lying. ‘Fess up.”

  Groaning, Emma tossed her pen across the desk and slumped in the chair. “There are times when Asher frustrates the hell out of me. I’m patient with him, but it seems it isn’t enough.”

  “Why does he need patience? He’s a grown man, not a toddler.”

  Giving details about Asher’s past didn’t sit well with her, so she waved the question away with a bat of her hand. “He takes longer to adjust to change than most.”

  “But what change? Having a gorgeous woman in his life? The only adjusting most men would do when you’re around is to the crotch of their trousers. What’s really going on, Emma?”

  “Nothing that a little time won’t cure.” Desperate to change the subject, she asked, “Are you busy this afternoon?”

  Meagan pouted, unhappy that Emma hadn’t confessed it all to her. However, she didn’t probe any further and answered her question. “I was going shopping. The boutique on Leicester Street has a dress put to one side for me to try on. Why?”

  Emma reached for her bag and pulled out a pair of bowling shoes. “Could you return these to the bowling alley for me?”

  Meagan stared at the shoes, then looked at Emma before returning back to the shoes. “What the hell are you doing with those?” Her disgust was evident. Her nose crinkled; her lips curling.

  “Bowling, of course. I forgot to swap them back for my shoes after we’d finished, that’s all.” Her heart thumped as Meagan eyed her. She wasn’t buying it for a second.

  “We’d finished? Asher side tracked you, did he? What kind of cheap-arsed date did he take you on? Went to McDonald’s afterward, huh? Classy, Emma. Really classy.”

  “I’m not talking to you about it. Do me this favour. Please?”

  “You walked home? In those?” Meagan shuddered. “Did anyone see you?”

  Emma shook her head, but it wasn’t in denial, it was sheer exasperation. She didn’t care if anyone had ever seen her in the shoes or not. She’d been too consumed with thoughts of As
her than what the hell she was on her feet.

  “Will you take them or not?”

  Meagan exhaled and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “I’d rather not, but if you insist then I guess I have no choice.”

  Emma’s temper snapped. She stood, shoving the chair back and slapping her hands on the desk. “You know what? Forget it. Forget I asked. I’ll do it myself.”

  “What are you shouting at me for?”

  “Because, for once, I asked you for help and you refused. You never even thought that I asked because I really needed it.” She gripped the edge of the desk and inhaled. Slow and deep.

  Meagan pouted. “You lose your shit over some grotty shoes? If it’s that important I’ll take them back for you. Chill out, Emma.”

  Gritting her teeth, she tried to calm herself. “This is more than the shoes. Maybe you should have a think about how unbalanced our friendship is. The shoes were merely my tipping point.” She swallowed. “I think you should leave, Meagan. Leave and think about it all.”

  “You can’t send me out of my own building,” she scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

  “It isn’t your building. And if you’re not going to leave then at least get out of the office. I’m feeling crappy enough without having an argument with you. One that’s been brewing for months.”

  “I don’t know what your problem is.” She placed her hand on her hip. “Nor do I have any idea what you’re talking about when you say it’s been brewing. You’re just angry at Asher and are taking it out on me. None of this is my fault.”

  “Out!” Emma shouted, pointing at the door. “Go!”

  “I’m going,” she responded, swivelling on her heels. “But it’s not because you told me to. It’s so that I can talk to my father.”

  Emma slumped back into her chair. The last twenty hours had been awful. “Do whatever you want, but don’t think that you can sort this out by getting your father to fight your battles for you. You’ve been a pretty shitty friend for far too long. I’m finally biting back.”

  She wasn’t sure Meagan heard the last sentence as the door slammed closed while she spoke. Letting rip a frustrated groan, she let her head flop onto the desk.