Always His (Crazed Devotion #1)

by C. A. Harms

  My anger made it tremendously hard to remain seated. I never expected this to go smoothly, but I didn’t want Nicole to have to broach this topic with Tyler. I didn’t trust him even a little. And I didn’t want him anywhere near my girls. He hadn’t been a part of Victoria’s life since she was born, and he had made it clear he didn’t want to be. But his hatred for me made him feel as if it was okay to punish us all.

  He wanted me to take the bait, but I refused. I had gone down that road once before, and this time I would keep a level head. I had to.

  Just as Tyler shoved open the front door of the café, Ben and Luke appeared. They hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Tyler until now. He rammed into them as he pushed his way outside, without even the slightest bit of remorse for his rudeness. It was comical to see two men I’ve referred to as my brother’s stare daggers at the tool I wanted nothing more than to beat some sense into.

  “You got some real douchebags living here, Ryk,” Luke chuckled as he took a seat at the table. They’d been in town for four days and only had a couple more before they were scheduled to return to Germany. I’d miss them. I was really enjoying having them round.

  “That was Tori’s father,” I replied as I motioned to the waitress that my friends had arrived. When I got here I’d ordered a coffee or each of them when I ordered my own and asked that she hold them until Luke and Ben arrived. That was when I saw Tyler sitting only a few feet away and took the opportunity to approach him.

  “No wonder you pounded in his face, the guy’s an ass,” Ben added just as the pretty blonde set their cups in front of them. Ben looked her over from head to toe, and memories of the night at the restaurant flashed in my mind.

  “So how did things go with Elizabeth the other night?” I asked. “From the looks of it, you two appeared to hit it off.”

  “And from the sounds I heard, I’d have to agree,” Luke said with a chuckle.

  Ben had been hurt before, and I understood his reservations about women. But I also knew he wanted to try again. He had told me that himself. So the idea of him hooking up with Liz only to turn around and leave her made my stomach twist into knots.

  “We just hung out,” Ben explained as he leaned back in his chair. “Having a little fun.”

  “Having fun?” I asked.

  “Hey, man, those are her words, not mine. That woman is definitely a wildcard,” he said as he stared off into the distance, unable to make eye contact. Something about his expression made me feel as if there was so much more he wanted to say.

  “I tried warning ya that night you talked to her on the phone. But obviously you had to find out for yourself.” I should have known the moment they met things would only lead to this. Before they even saw each other they were already planning a wild night of sex.

  “Yeah, well”—Ben’s expression changed from dejected to playful in a matter of seconds.—“that night after your engagement will be one I’m sure I won’t soon forget. But even if I leave here on Wednesday and never get the chance to see Liz again, I’ll have some hot memories.” He wagged his brows, and Luke chuckled.

  “What are you laughing about? Seems you’re forgetting to tell Ryker here about your fixation on a cute little brunette.” Ben was obviously looking for a new topic of conversation, so he passed the buck to Thor.

  “What cute brunette?” I asked.

  “Didn’t Nicole tell ya, man?” Luke’s stare met mine. “She and I have been hanging out, and I’m thinking you may just have some competition.”

  “Watch it, smartass.” Dick was taunting me once again.

  “Liz had her sister pick her up at the hotel that night,” Luke explained. “She showed up, and she and I were forced to waste a little time while we waited for Ben and Liz to finish their round of monkey sex. We talked is all.”

  “Monkey sex,” he said with a shake of his head. “It looked like more than just some everyday talk to me.” Ben wouldn’t leave it alone.

  Luke was now the one who appeared glum. “Let’s be real here. We’re leaving in a couple days. I’m stuck for at least two more years in Germany, and after that I don’t know where I’ll be stationed. Getting involved with someone just isn’t smart right now. Do I think Elle is sweet? Hell yeah. Am I attracted to her? Who wouldn’t be, because in the short time we talked I found that she was pretty fucking amazing. But that’s all it was, and that’s all it can be. You of all people, Ryker, know how hard it is to hold on to a girl who lives thousands of miles away.”

  He was right, but I wouldn’t lie and say I didn’t want Ben and Luke to find what I had with Nicole. They were two of the best men I knew, and their happiness meant a lot to me.

  “Momma, watch me,” Tori said excitedly as she spun around, holding her hands above her head. Her tulle tutu rippled as she continued to spin and dance around as we waited for her class to start. She loved ballet, and I loved watching her. And I also loved that Elle was her teacher.

  I had always wondered why Elle didn’t pursue a dancing career. She was amazing, but she’d found that teaching young girls the art of dance was much more gratifying.

  “My little ballerina,” I said in response just as Elle entered the room smiling from ear to ear.

  “Twirl, my little lady bug,” she said as she joined Tori, and instantly my daughter tried to mimic Elle’s graceful movements. Other children began to enter the studio, and Elle snatched Tori up and carried her off to join them.

  Ryker had spent the day with Ben and Luke before he had to drive them back to the airport. He’d been quiet when he left the apartment, and I knew he was going to miss the guys. So much of his last five years was filled with memories of them, so it was like he was saying good-bye to two brothers. Who knew when they would see one another again.

  I was tucked off to the side of the room and so engrossed in the class that I barely noticed anyone around me, so I jumped at the sound of Tyler’s voice. “She is a cute kid, ain’t she? I thought I’d stop in and see my two girls.”

  I could smell the booze on his breath, and the idea of him making a scene in the middle of the dance studio made me feel sick to my stomach. So I chose to let the “my girls” comment slide.

  “Thought I’d take you two out to lunch after this, talk about some things,” he added.

  He wasn’t even watching Tori. Instead, he was staring at me with a look I didn’t much like. His tongue rested on his lower lip as he leaned in a little closer, and his gaze dropped to my low-cut top.

  Instinctively I placed my hand on my chest and eliminated the possibility of him being able to see anything.

  He chuckled, and his gaze shifted back to mine. “No need to hide from me, sweetheart. I’ve already seen it all.”

  His breath fanned out over my face, and the stale stench of beer overtook my senses. “What do you want, Tyler?”

  “I already told you,” he said as he placed his outstretched hand over my shoulder. “I think it’s time I start spending a little more time around my daughter. Remind her who her daddy is. Wouldn’t want her thinking your new boyfriend is her father.”

  This wasn’t about Tori. It was just another attempt at making Ryker’s life hell.

  I did my best to not cause a scene as I remained quiet for the next twenty-five minutes. I had always enjoyed Tori’s classes and was always sad to see them come to an end. But today I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

  When Elle noticed Tyler at my side, she narrowed her eyes, and I shook my head. I just wanted to get through this, and then I would lead Tyler outside and force him to leave.

  As the class ended I walked toward Elle as Tyler followed closely. “Can you keep her inside with you for a minute?”

  “Yeah,” she said as she looked over my shoulder toward Tyler. “Are you okay?”

  “I just need a minute,” I told her before turning around to face Tyler. “Let’s go have this little talk.”

  He didn’t even seem to care Tori wasn’t with us as I stepped outside the front door and
moved off to the side.

  “What’s this all about?” I asked as he joined me. “I know it has nothing to do with you actually wanting to get to know your daughter. So let’s just cut through the shit and be real here.”

  He stepped closer, bringing body within inches of mine. His tall frame towered over me as he backed me into a corner between a railing and the building.

  “I’m not gonna make things easy for him,” Tyler said. “In fact, I plan on making things as hard as possible. I’m gonna push and dig until he gets so pissed he either blows up or leaves.”

  My heart raced.

  “He thinks I’m just gonna step aside and let him be the hero to my kid. But that ain’t gonna happen.” Tyler ran his finger along my arm, making my stomach turn. “Pass along that message to your piece-of-shit fiancé,” he whispered as he dipped his head, bringing his mouth closer to mine. “He’s not adopting my daughter. Remind him of that before he decides to approach me again on the matter.”

  Tyler licked his lower lip just before closing the distance between us. Before he could place his lips to mine, I turned my head and he got my cheek instead.

  I shoved his chest. “Move,” I growled as I fought against him.

  He stepped back chuckling, and tears prickled my eyes. “I’ll see ya soon, babe,” he hollered as he walked off laughing in triumph.

  I spent at least five minutes trying to get control of my emotions before going back inside. But apparently I hadn’t waited long enough because Elle immediately noticed something was wrong.

  “I texted Ryker,” she announced.

  “What?” I asked. “Why?”

  “Because I know Tyler’s trouble, and I didn’t think it was a good idea that you be alone with him around.”

  I knew she meant well, but right now I just wanted a few hours alone before I had to face him.

  Her phone began ringing, and she answered. “She’s right here,” Elle said before handing it to me. I was tempted to decline, but she grew more persistent, shaking the phone for me to take.

  “Hello,” I said as I turned away, distancing myself form Tori as she danced around happily.

  “Baby, what’s going on?” he asked, sounding winded. “Elle said Tyler showed up at Tori’s dance class. Is he still there?”

  “No,” I replied. “He said he wanted to talk and that he came to see Tori, but that wasn’t the case.”

  I looked back over my shoulder to make sure Victoria was too busy to hear my conversation. Elle had led her to the corner of the room, and they were looking through a small box of twirl ribbons.

  “Did you tell Tyler you were adopting Victoria?” I asked.

  “Can we talk about this when I get back tonight?” His evasive answer told me he had.

  “You do realize that by doing that, it just gave him more reasons to make things rough for us, right?” I suddenly felt defeated. I was so sick of all the damn drama.

  “I’m not gonna lie to you and say I wouldn’t approach him again, because I would. If he can’t be the father she deserves, then I’d be honored to take the role. I just thought he should know that.”

  I loved him for wanting to give Tori that. It just assured me that he was the man I knew he was. But I wished he would have come to me first. Maybe together would could have come up with a better way of approaching Tyler than Ryker’s ambush.

  The last few days had left me feeling unsettled. The guys heading back to Germany and Nicole’s irritability made things a little rocky between her and me. Our conversation about my talk with Tyler turned into a shouting match. It should have been a cut-and-dry issue, but we both went overboard about it.

  A little distance felt necessary after that, but now I was regretting that choice. My workdays were long and my nights longer. Our nightly talks were forced. Nicole always ended up passing the phone to Tori, and I would spend the remaining time listening to her cute little stories.

  But today I had reached my limit. There was no fucking way I was going to let Tyler, or anyone else for that matter, come between Tori and me.

  So I showed up at Lucy’s with one goal in mind. Make up for all the shitty things I said two nights ago.

  As I entered the bar, I looked around in search of Nicole and was surprised to find Allan standing behind the bar instead.

  “Hey,” I said as I sat down at the end of the counter and looked around the half-empty bar.

  “If you looking for Nic, she’s at home,” he offered as he popped the top off a Coors and sat it down in front of me. “She said she wasn’t feeling well, but something tells me it’s a little more than that,” he added as he zoned in on me. His scrutinizing stare making me slightly uncomfortable. “You mind clearing things up? Because all I’m getting from her is the basic ‘I’m fine’ speech.”

  I picked at the label on the bottle, busying my hands in an attempt to ignore the nervous feeling in my stomach. “We had our first official argument the other night,” I confessed, avoiding eye contact. “I think we both said a lot of things we didn’t mean. I was stressed and down about the guys leaving. Nicole had her own reasons for being frustrated, and we both reflected those frustrations onto each other instead of those who deserved them. I’ve been staying at my uncle’s, and she’s been avoiding me by using Tori as a buffer.”

  Allan smiled. I guess he knew what I was referring to. “After she had Tori, she tried to get Tyler to be a part of Tori’s life.” He leaned over, resting his elbows on the bar. “She didn’t want a relationship with him, but she’d hoped he would at least love his daughter. That’s something you wouldn’t think you would have to ask someone to do for their own child, but we all know Tyler is a rare breed.”

  He said the last comment with a smirk. A rare breed of the lowest form of shit is the thought that came to mind.

  “But after a long road of disappointment, she stopped looking for any amount of help from him. She actually found if she just left him alone, stopped pushing for him to be present that her life was much more peaceful.” He tapped his finger on the countertop, causing me to look up and meet his stare. “Knowing you’re willing to adopt Tori and be the father she’s never had just shows everyone the man you truly are.”

  Allan’s opinion had always been something I valued. He was a stand-up guy. “I love her like she was my own,” I told him. “Nothing would make happier than being able to give both Tori and Nicole everything they deserve. And Tori deserves a father. One that won’t use her as a bargaining chip to gain access to Nicole.”

  The idea of that only made my hate for Tyler grow stronger.

  “I want to see both of them happy as much as you do. But unfortunately Tyler is in their lives, and taunting the bull is only going to make him strike. Going after him for child support will only give him rights to Tori. As of now he’s just a deadbeat dad who lives his own shit life out there somewhere until he wants something from my daughter.”

  I got what Allan was saying. I just hated that Tyler held that kind of control over them. “I think I’m gonna go check on my girls,” I said as I push the half-empty beer bottle in his direction. “I’ve been missing ’em.”

  “I think that sounds like a good idea.” Allan smiled as I stood from the bar and walked toward the exit.

  When Nicole answered the door, I could tell she’d been crying. I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach as she tried to hide her face.

  “Hey,” she said before clearing her throat. “I was just watching a movie. Tori fell asleep about thirty minutes ago.”

  “Can I come in?” I asked. “I think we need to talk.”

  “Um, sure,” she replied as she stepped to the side, allowing me to pass. The apartment was dark, with only a small light shining from the lamp at the end of the couch.

  I didn’t like feeling torn, and I didn’t like this wedge that had been lodged between me and Nicole. It literally made my chest ache. She attempted to step around me, but without hesitation I hooked her around her waist and pulled her back. M
y chest pressed firmly against her back as I buried my face in her hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you first. But I won’t apologize for wanting to adopt Tori. I love her, Nicole,” I whispered, my throat burning as I continued to speak. “And I love her mommy too. I miss you both. I don’t like feeling this distance between us.”

  “Me neither,” she replied.

  “I was an ass the other night,” I admitted.

  Nicole turned in my arms to face me, and she looked upward, her gaze locked on mine. “I just feel like no matter what, he’ll always come between us in some way. Like no matter how happy we become, he’ll be there to take it all away.”

  “We won’t let him,” I promised.

  “How do we stop him?” Tears formed in her eyes, and I felt like someone was squeezing my heart.

  “We stick together,” I replied. “No matter what he says or pulls, we remain on the same side.” I used my thumb to wipe away the tear that ran along her cheek. “I love you, baby, and I’m not going anywhere. That’s a promise. Nothing will ever keep me from you or Victoria.”

  Rising up onto her toes, she cupped the back of my neck and pulled it down. Our lips touched, and hers trembled beneath mine. “Please stay,” she whispered.

  “Tonight?” I asked.

  “Not just tonight, but every night.”

  I pulled back so I could see her more clearly. A hopeful look covered her face, and I couldn’t help but smile. “Are you asking me to move in with you?” Damn, I truly hoped that’s what she was asking. When she nodded, I pressed my lips to hers once more, kissing her with joy. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that,” I confessed, feeling so much lighter than I had only moments ago.

  Since our engagement, we hadn’t really made many plans regarding our wedding or living arrangements. Yes, on most nights I stayed at her place, but we hadn’t officially decided I’d move in with her right away. With Ben and Luke visiting and then all the drama with Tyler, our plans took a backseat. But it was time for us to move forward. We needed to stop trying to change the things we couldn’t change and be thankful for the gifts we’d been given. It was time for us to find our happiness and hold on to it no matter who out there attempted to tear us down.