Always His (Crazed Devotion #1)

by C. A. Harms

  I lay in bed next to Ryker, trying to muffle my laughter with my hand. It had been almost three weeks since he moved in, and for the last two he lay down each night, talking to Tori through a walkie-talkie from a set he’d purchased for the two of them. It was honestly the cutest thing.

  I could hear her giggles through the wall that separated our bedrooms as Ryker did his best impression of Anna from the movie Frozen. They played out the scene where she tried to get Elsa to come out of her room and play, which always led to them singing the song from the movie.

  It warmed my heart when he spent time with her doing the little things. He didn’t need to buy her extravagant gifts or take her on trips; all it took to win her heart was him showing her just how much he loved her. And he did that every day, without hesitation or expectation of getting something in return.

  Each night I lay next to him and listened as the two of them share this moment together, I only fell deeper in love with Ryker. He made us both so happy.

  “Someday can we build a snowman?” Tori asked. “One like Olaf?”

  “We don’t get much snow here, sweetheart, but one day I’ll take you and your momma to a place that does.” He looked over at me and smiled. “And the three of us will build the biggest Olaf we can.”

  “Promise?” her sweet little chipmunk voice asked hopefully.

  “I promise, Peanut,” he confirmed, using the nickname I’d used for her since she was born. “It’s time to go to sleep, sweetheart. I gotta get up early for work and you and mommy are spending the day at Nana May’s baking cookies for the fundraiser.”

  Each year we helped with the fundraiser for the teen center in town. This time they were having a carnival and bake sale, and we had a long day of baking ahead of us with Elle, Liz, and May. When the three of them were trapped together in one room, there was never a dull moment.

  “I love you,” Ryker told her.

  “I love you too,” she responded, and my heart felt like it skipped a beat. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” she added with a little giggle.

  Ryker chuckled along with her laughter that filtered in through the walkie-talkie in his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, sweet girl, and if you can hide a few of those cookies and sneak them home for me, I promise I’ll share.”

  I poked him in the side, and he covered my hand with his, lifted it, and brought it to rest on the center of his chest.

  “You got it.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at her response.

  They shared another quick good night before he placed the device on the bedside table.

  When he turned back to me, he continued to roll over until his large frame hovered over mine.

  “She’s amazing,” he said, lowering his chest to mine carefully so as not to put his entire weight on me.

  “You’re amazing,” I said in response. I combed my fingers through the back of his hair and pulled him closer, arching my neck just enough to reach his lips in a teasing kiss as I wrapped one leg over his hip. A deep groan escaped him when I suggestively rotated my hips, causing friction between us. “Do you still need to get some rest for work tomorrow?” I asked as I looked up at him.

  “I’ve always got time for this,” he assured me as he dipped his head and began kissing along the side of my neck. “You are the best form of distraction.” He pressed another kiss along my collarbone with a gentle flip of his tongue. “And tomorrow when I can barely function due to lack of sleep, I’ll still be smiling, remembering this moment right here.”

  He cupped my breast as he began lowering himself, kissing and taunting me with his skillful mouth. Something that feels as good as Ryker’s hands should be illegal. He made me lose track of my thoughts. It had always been that way, before and now.

  Only now, everything was so much more intense.

  I was lost to the feeling of his mouth as he sucked at the sensitive skin along my jaw and neck before bringing his lips back to mine for yet another kiss. He was teasing me, and just when I was at the point of begging, he dipped his head low and his mouth covered mine. Arching my back, I gripped the sheets at my sides as he sucked on my clit and trailed a finger along my slick folds. I tried not to moan loudly for fear of Tori hearing me, but it was torture.

  The moment his finger slid inside me, I bit my lower lip to stifle my groan of pleasure.

  “So fucking wet,” he purred before his mouth covered my pussy once more. I could already feel that familiar tightening in my stomach, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I reached my peak. And when it hit, I curled my toes and bit down harder. Oh my God, it was heaven. No, forget heaven, it was nirvana.

  My hips bucked against his mouth as I rode out the mind-blowing pleasure that ripped through me. It was like an out-of-body experience as he gripped my hips to hold me in place while he continued to feast on me, dragging out the most amazing torture I had ever felt.

  The moment his mouth left me, I whimpered.

  “I need to be inside you,” Ryker said as he moved up my body to place his erection at my entrance. “I can’t promise you slow,” he whispered as he began to slide inside.

  “I don’t want slow,” I confessed, and he closed his eyes tightly as if fighting off the need for release.

  “So fucking good,” he groaned as he seated himself deep, giving his hips one last thrust to go just a little deeper. I had no time to prepare myself as he pulled back and slammed into me once again. This time, there was no hope of holding back the cry of pleasure that escaped me.

  Ryker covered my mouth with his, swallowing my moans as he continued to drive into me over and over.

  It was so damn good, explosive.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” he directed, and I immediately did as he asked, opening up for him more.

  “Oh yeah,” he said before he bit my lower lip. “You always feel so fucking good.”

  Good didn’t even begin to explain the way I was feeling right now.

  I woke up to the sound of Ryker opening the closet door. “Is it time for you to leave already?” It felt as if I’d just closed my eyes and now he was up getting dressed for work. Then again, the round of slow, sensual lovemaking that followed our fast round of sex could definitely explain my loss of time.

  He didn’t respond as he moved across the room and sat on the bed at my side. When he ran his fingers through my hair, the way he was looking at me made my heart race.

  “What?” I asked, because frankly I was growing a little nervous.

  “When you gonna marry me?” he asked.

  “Um . . .” I was a little surprised by his question. I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but it wasn’t that. “I guess we haven’t really talked about a date, have we?”

  He only shook his head as his gaze continued to scan over my face while he waited for my answer.

  “When do you want to get married?” I asked.

  “Now, later today. Tomorrow,” he said with a smile. “As soon as possible. I don’t want to wait any longer, sweetheart. I’m ready to be your husband. I’m ready to grow our family and start our lives together.”

  Well, my big, strong ex-Marine and man of my dreams had gone all mushy on me.

  “Let’s get married next month,” he added before I could respond. “Pick a date, any date. I just want to marry you.”

  I nodded and swallowed past the burning sensation at the base of my throat. “Okay,” I whispered. “The first Saturday.”

  My answer seemed to please him as he leaned over and kissed me, smiling against my lips.

  Who knew so much was involved in planning a wedding? I mean, in my eyes you only needed four key things: loved ones, a preacher, and a bride and groom. But apparently those things were simply small items in a large pool of others.

  Flowers? Come on, they were just gonna die. And a church? Hell, I would have been perfectly happy with an outdoor wedding. The reception was easy at least, because we settled on Lucy’s. But everything else was a crazy mess of dea
dlines and stress.

  Once my mom knew we had set a date, her head began to spin. She, Nana May, Nicole, Elle, and Liz were on a whirlwind ride of crazy. Those women seemed so tiny and polite, but give them two people to marry off and a date and they made that show about crazy brides look like a walk in the park on a sunny day. I sat back and watched as they swarmed our apartment, barking off demands. Judging by the look on Tori’s face and the way her little head kept twisting from right to left as she watched the scene, she too was dumbfounded. But through it all, Nicole couldn’t stop smiling, and that alone made this entire ordeal worth it. If my baby was happy, I was fucking ecstatic.

  “I wish you two could make it, but believe me, I understand the military life. We go when they say.” I was a little down that I would be marrying the girl of my dreams without my two best friends being able to stand at my side. It wasn’t like they could just hop on a plane or bus and come to Alabama for the weekend. Germany was a long way to travel from for just one weekend, especially after they’d only visited a month and a half ago.

  “Sorry, brother,” Ben said. “But I do have some news.”

  “Oh yeah?” I wasn’t sure if I should brace myself for something bad. “What news?”

  “I’m not reenlisting,” he replied.

  “I know you were debating it. When did you decide?” I asked.

  “I’d been thinking of getting out anyway. We’ve talked about that. Besides . . .” He paused, and I detected the humor in his voice as he continued, “I thought I’d relocate to Alabama.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “A certain brunette wouldn’t have anything to do with that, now would she?”

  The idea of having one of my best friends here in town would be great. But Liz and Ben trapped in the same town permanently? Lord help us all.

  “I just need a change, man,” he said. “And some pretty women to look at doesn’t hurt, either. Plus, Luke got transferred.”

  “What?” Just like that, the excitement of Ben’s news had faded. “Where is he getting transferred to?”

  “Jacksonville,” Ben replied. “He leaves in three weeks. I got four months left, and then I’ll be heading that way too. You need to keep a lookout for a place for me.”

  “There’s an apartment available downstairs from our place. I can get you the number,” I assured him as I headed out my front door to get the number on the sign in the window. After I rambled it off, he told me to put a good word in for him with my boss, and I assured him I would do it first thing Monday.

  But even as we hung up, I still couldn’t help thinking of Luke. It would be nice to have him closer, but the guy only had Ben and me as family. He’d spent his life living in one foster home after another until he was old enough to join the Marines. When I first met him, he was a hardheaded fool who felt like he didn’t need anyone but himself. It took Ben and me months to break him down, but once we did he became one of the best friends I could ask for. I hated the knowledge that Ben was leaving too and he would be alone.

  Visiting him on the base was something I would definitely be doing as often as I could.

  “Tonight couldn’t be more boring,” I complained as I sat down in the booth that gave me a clear view of the entrance to Lucy’s. “I already sent Elle home. It’s just me and Greg, and he’s at the bar smashing it on Angry Birds, so that should tell you how shitty tonight has been.”

  “Then close down, come home,” Ryker said in a husky tone. “Victoria just crashed, and I’m getting ready to jump in the shower. I could wait for you and we could take one together.”

  I wouldn’t lie and say his proposition didn’t tempt me. “I still have some lingering squatters,” I said with amusement. “I can’t just kick them out.”

  “Sure you can,” Ryker insisted. “Just tell them your fiancé is horny and it’s dangerous to leave him alone like that. I require immediate assistance.”

  “You’re insatiable,” I said with a laugh.

  I was just about to tease him further when the front door flew open so hard it bounced off the wall with a thud. There in the doorway stood Keegan with a look of panic on his face, and my stomach tightened instantly.

  “Hey, let me call you back,” I said as I began to climb out of the booth.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied even though I honestly had no idea if that was true.

  “Okay, I love you,” Ryker added, but his tone told me he still believed something was wrong.

  “I love you,” I said in a rush before I ended the call.

  As I approached Keegan, I saw the blood staining his shirt and his dark jeans. His eyes were reddened and glossy with tears. My stomach rolled as panic set in. “Keegan?” I wasn’t sure what to say, what question to ask. It wasn’t like he and I were friends, but I knew him showing up here in his current state meant something was very wrong.

  “It’s bad, Nic.” His voice was low, filled with such pain. “The truck came out of nowhere. And he couldn’t stop.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “There was so much blood, and he wouldn’t wake up.”

  “Keegan,” I whispered as I stepped closer and took his hand. “Please tell me what happened.”

  “It’s Tyler.” His lower lip trembled. “He’s been in an accident.”

  I may not love the guy, and on most days I wanted to strangle the dumb right out of him, but he was Tori’s father and the man who took part in giving me my greatest gift. I cared for him in the sense that I truly wanted him to one day see the error of his ways. I wished him no harm.

  “Where is he?” I asked.

  “Marshall Medical Center.” He let go of my hand and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends. “He wouldn’t wake up, Nicole. And they had to cut the truck apart to get him out.” There was a long pause before he looked back at me and those tears that had pooled in his eyes only moments ago began to fall. “I don’t know if he’s gonna make it.”

  The reality of how severe the situation was hit me hard. I nodded and turned to find Greg standing only a few feet away.

  “I’ll lock up,” he said. “It’s just Will and Gunther here, and they’re harmless. I’ll lock the doors, and when they decide to call it a night, I’ll be sure they’re okay to drive. Go take care of what you need to.”

  He held out my purse and keys, and I nodded as I took them. I turned back to face Keegan and jerked my head toward the direction of the door, and when he swiveled around I followed him outside.

  “I’ll be right behind you,” I assured him as I walked toward my car. As I climbed in behind the wheel, my head was spinning. So many times I cursed Tyler for the way he was. I wished he would just leave and stay away, but I never wished for this. I suddenly felt guilty for all the harsh things I’d said to him, even though deep down I knew he deserved most of them. But knowing that didn’t ease the guilt even in the slightest.

  I dug through my bag and found my phone, then quickly dialed my father’s number.

  “Hey, sweetheart, everything okay?” he asked.

  I knew he was referring to the bar, but in that moment I lost it. Tears began to fall as my chest ached. “Tyler was in an accident. Keegan said it’s real bad, Daddy.”

  “Where are you?” he asked.

  “In my car. Greg insisted I take off, and I’m going to go to the hospital.” I started the car as I tried to calm down.

  “Does Ryker know?”

  His question only made me feel even guiltier. I was torn between what I should and shouldn’t do. “No,” I replied. “I just need to get there, and after that I’ll deal with the rest.”

  There was a long silence before he spoke again. “I’ll be there soon.”

  I needed him to be there right then and was relieved I didn’t have to ask.

  Tyler and Keegan’s parents were ridiculously unreliable and always had been. They had always cared more about partying and whether their liquor cabinet was fully stocked than if their boys were safe and taken care
of. I had always believed they were the source of their sons’ alcoholism and long line of poor judgement calls.

  Both Keegan and Tyler learned long ago that they would have to learn to survive on their own, and neither was doing a very good job at breaking the Murphy pattern.

  My father arrived shortly after I did, and we sat in the waiting area of the emergency room with Keegan by our side. We knew nothing at the time, just that Tyler was in the operating room and they would update us once they had some news.

  Time faded as I stared at the wall across from me, focusing on the abstract painting. I was lost in my thoughts when my dad interrupted me, causing me to jump in surprise.

  “I’ll be right back. Did you need anything? Coffee maybe?” he asked. I just nodded, then watched him turn and walk away.

  I’m not sure how much time passed, but when he returned with a Styrofoam cup of coffee, I gave him a gentle smile. “Thanks.”

  He took a seat next to me and leaned back in his chair. “I called Ryker.”

  I turned to him, unsure if the feelings rushing through me were irritation or relief. Him calling had saved me from trying to explain what I was doing here, yet in a way I thought that news should have come from me.

  “I told him that in an hour or so I would head over to your place so he could come here to be with you,” Dad added. “He’s worried about you. I could almost feel his need to be by your side.”

  “Did he sound mad or upset?” I asked. I had to admit I was worried he would be.

  “No,” he replied, and relief washed through me. “But he did ask why you didn’t call him and let him know.”

  I had planned to, I really did. But time just got away from me. “Truthfully,” I said as I focused on the cup in my hand, “I thought he would insist I not come.” My father didn’t say anything, only sat quietly and listened. “I know he and Tyler don’t get along, and that dates back even before me. But I couldn’t not come, Dad. Regardless of the problems between Tyler and me, he’s still Tori’s father. And at one time, he was my friend.”