Breaking Down Sydney (Sydney West #2)

by Brittney Coon

  I recognized the song in seconds. It was Emilie Autumn’s song “Opheliac.” The tempo rose, but Emilie didn’t sing the first verse, Jason did. He sang my favorite song to me in front of everyone. The lyrics tattooed on my arm burned. Jason was showing the most romantic public devotion of love I’d ever witnessed and all I could do was stare wide-eyed.

  The crowd burst into applause when he finished. He even got a few whistles. As he departed the stage and made his way over to me, a girl dressed as a sexy leopard tried to come on to him. Her bosom was pushed up so high that her breasts could’ve been a necklace. Jason paid her no attention. He was staring straight at me.

  I felt myself smile as I clapped. “I never knew you could sing. I’m speechless, you—”

  Jason smirked. “It’s a hobby,” he joked. The distance between us disappeared. His fingers brushed my lips. “All I wanted was to see that smile again.”

  My smile grew. “You have a way with words, don’t you?”

  He took my hand in his, kissing it. “I can do more than say fancy words.” His silky voice slid over me. All I wanted was to pour myself onto him.

  “I know…” I blushed, shaking off the memories of him in bed. His silver eyes shined. He knew what I was thinking of and was proud. The music became soft, a perfect melody to dance to.

  “May I?” Jason asked, offering me his hand.

  All my nerves melted away. Being with Jason was natural, as if I’d always belonged with him. “Yes.”

  His hands slipped into position, one at my hip and the other on my shoulder. I placed my hands on his back, pressing him into me. I missed his touch, his scent, his smile. I missed everything about him.

  “You’re so soft,” he murmured, stroking my hip.

  “It’s the velvet.” I laughed. “You’re quite soft yourself.”

  We laughed together. Our eyes met, and for a second the world slowed down. My lips parted as he kissed me. He still tasted the same, like home.

  “Jason, it’s me who’s sorry. I don’t want you to—”

  He kissed me again, killing my words. “Do you wanna get out of here?” he whispered into my ear.

  I nodded. “I’ll go anywhere with you, but I need to tell Amelia.” I scanned the room for her and Hunter.

  Jason chuckled. “She set this up.”

  My attention went back to him. I felt my eyes narrow. “What do you mean she set this up?”

  “She wanted us to talk. Her plan was to get you here and have me find you. I did the rest.”

  That sounded like Amelia. No wonder she was so excited about this party.

  I kissed Jason. “You’re such a sucker for love.”

  “Sue me.” He moved his hands past my hips to cup my ass. I missed his touch on my bare skin. Need pooled in my belly. I had to have Jason—now.

  “Let’s go then.” I tugged him toward the exit.

  “Whoa! You don’t mess around, do you?” He chuckled, shaking his head.

  “Not when I haven’t been touched in more days than I care to count,” I said, giving him a wicked smile.

  On the way out, Amelia lightly slapped my shoulder and gave me a nod of approval as she danced with Hunter. I winked at her and stepped into the night air.

  I wanted to say so much. The words were loud in my head. When I tried to talk, my tongue tied, messing up anything I tried to say. I sighed, unsure where to begin. Jason brushed his fingers up and down my tattoo before leaning forward and kissing my lips. “I know, Syd. Going on a break gave me time to think.”

  I nodded. “Me too. I’ve come to the realization that I need you. No one has cared about me the way you do, and I never want to let you go.”

  His eyes took me in, as if I was the only girl in the world. “I know, Syd. These past few days have been rough. More so than being in California without you. It was torture knowing you were so damn close, yet I couldn’t have you.” My heart soared as he started the Jeep. It was as if he knew what I wanted to say.

  I led him back to my dorm. We were alone and horny. I stripped off my dress and went to help Jason with his costume. The velvet felt lovely against my skin. I threw his shirt across the room and was working on his pants when he stopped me.

  “Wait,” he muttered. His eyes looked troubled.

  I bit my lip in frustration. “What? Don’t you have a condom?”

  “I have one, but—”

  “What’s the problem?” I tugged on his pants again. They fell to his ankles. I licked my lips hungrily. He grabbed my wrists, keeping me from peeling off his boxers.

  I frowned up at him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Where are we going, Syd?” He tilted his head, studying me. It was like we were in a classroom instead of a bedroom.

  “We were about to have sex, if you’d let me finish.” I crossed my arms over my chest. His expression gave nothing away.

  “I don’t want to only have jumping each other’s bones. I want us to be real. I need to be a part of your life. I don’t want to worry about you cutting me out.” His eyes clouded over. He wouldn’t look me in the eye.

  “I thought we were real. You met my parents…kind of.” My father didn’t count much since he was in a coma. “I only think about you. I’d say all that means you’re in my life, so where is this coming from? I thought we were okay.” I backed away from him. Without my dress and Jason’s non-interest in intercourse, I felt naked, unprotected.

  “I know, and I appreciate meeting your parents and being there for you in your time of need. I love you more than anything, more than I thought possible after my father ruined my mom and then my ex…” He trailed off and looked past me, staring at something on Amelia’s side of the dorm. “I’ve showed you countless times how much you mean to me, but there’s still this voice in my head that wonders if you still feel the way you did in Cal—”

  My heart fell to the floor. “Jason, I need more time than most to show my love. When you met me, I was a wild girl who only had sex for the hell of it. Love was only a word to me, not an emotion, a feeling. I love you more than my dream career, more than…myself, but I’m unsure how to properly express it without sex.” A sob ripped through my throat. I felt like I was losing air, losing him. “I’m not romantic. I’ve been trying to think of a way to prove my love to you, but I always come up blank.” I fought back another sob. “Then you sing my favorite song in front of a party and I’d never think to do that for you. So I’m unsure how to—”

  A smile tugged on the edge of his mouth. “You don’t have to be romantic, Syd.” He took me in his arms. The warmth of his skin sent my stomach into knots and made the ache between my thighs double. “I got that part covered.” He kissed my nose. “I just want to know we’re moving forward. I don’t want to stay here forever, but for now we can enjoy each other’s touch—”

  I kissed his lips, going down his throat to his collarbones. Flicking out my tongue, I licked him as I took off his boxers. Jason freed my breasts and tugged off my panties. He fell onto the bed, and I climbed on top of him. My breasts hung before him. His lips felt as soft as a feather when they brushed my nipples. My nipples peaked, wishing for more.

  His scent alone made me wet. The feeling of his hands on my waist and his mouth on my breasts, trailing down my stomach, only fed the desire in me. In what seemed like seconds, I was about to explode with delight. We had mind-blowing sex until dawn.

  A couple hours later, I woke up and had to pee. When I came back to bed, I stopped for a moment to admire the man in my bed. The sun poured into the room, highlighting his delightful body. It was as if his skin had a godly glow.

  I laid next to my sleeping Jason and curled into his chest. Lightly, I traced his eagle wings tattoo, remembering the tragic tale behind it. It was a symbol of his friend and how he felt broken after his unfortunate death. It reminded me of how Jason was my rock during my father’s death.

  All this time, Jason had been saving me from myself and teaching me how to love. In return, he only asked that I
show the same to him and let him in. Jason said I didn’t have to be romantic, but I needed to do something to prove my love. The short break we were on almost killed me. I couldn’t deal with being without him again. Soon I’d show him and we’d take the next step. What that step was, I had no clue, but together we’d find a way. Never thought I’d admit something like that to myself. The idea of growing old alone with a bunch of cats was bullshit and pathetic. Jason was my lover, my friend, and I needed to pull more weight romantically to keep him at my side.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I turned in my test on human behavior feeling like it deserved an A. My next big project wasn’t due for two weeks. It was time to take a break.

  Jason was still in class for another hour, so I couldn’t hang with him. Amelia wasn’t in class, but I had no idea where she was on campus. Since I wasn’t sure what she was up to, I texted her but never received a reply.

  My mood was positive, but not to the point where I wanted to chat with people who weren’t close friends of mine. To pass the time, I went to the nearest coffeehouse. It was packed with everyone getting their energy fix for the late morning. I didn’t mind the wait, didn’t have any better place to be.

  While sitting at a table, I surfed the web on my cell phone. The light breeze blew on my coffee, cooling it down. Herds of families, couples, and individuals came in and out of the door. People laughed and talked all around me. For a moment a little boy drew my attention as he raced his little blue toy car on all the empty chairs. His mom ignored him as she ordered her coffee.

  I smiled at the boy. “What kind of car is that?” I asked when he moved to play on the table next to me.

  The grin on his face was from ear to ear. He was excited someone cared about his car. “It’s a Dodge Charger,” he replied proudly.

  “Oh? That’s a nice car. Have the real one myself.”

  “Really?” His eyes grew big.

  “Yup. It’s in the parking garage over there.” I nodded out the window to the tall gray building across the street.

  “That’s awesome!”

  “Jacob?” His mother called out, holding her prize in her hand.

  “Gotta go, bye.” He waved at me and went to his mother.

  She gave me a look before going out the door. Maybe she was jealous I could cheer her son up in a minute and it took her hours. That, or she was suspicious of who talked with her son.

  I took a sip of my coffee and went back to my phone. Facespace was littered with the same old crap. People were posting pictures of their babies, complaining about how much school sucked, or on a random “like” spree. I rolled my eyes. Leave it to a social networking site to make me loathe the people I knew. TweetBeat was different. I was happy to see what strangers were sharing. I read my feed and then checked on some of my favorite celebrities. Some hadn’t updated in a while; others were active daily.

  On In This Moment’s page, I noticed they announced a new tour. They were my second favorite after Emilie Autumn and I never got to see them live. Maybe Jason and I could go to their concert. We had an amazing time at EA’s show. I prayed Phoenix was on the list as I scanned the string of city names. In the middle in fat black font was Phoenix, Arizona. In a heartbeat, I checked the date. They’d be in my state within three weeks. How come I didn’t see this sooner? There was no possible way I would get tickets this close to the concert.

  Depressed, I exited out of TweetBeat. After downing the last of my coffee, I left the shop, texting Jason to see if we could get lunch and maybe have some sex to get my mind off of the concert I’d be missing.

  Me: Where r u?

  Jason: At the library getting a book. Why?

  Me: Stay there. I’m coming 2 c u.

  Jason: Okay. U all right?

  Me: Yeah. Just want 2 see ur face.

  Jason: I’ll wait 4 u, beautiful.

  A warm sensation surged through my body when he called me “beautiful.” I’ve been called that many times over the years, but no one seemed to mean it as much as Jason did.

  When I reached the library, Jason was sitting at a table by the window. He gave me a kiss, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth for a beat before releasing me. God, I loved the way he said hello.

  “How’s your day going?” he asked, pulling a chair out for me to sit on.

  I smiled my thanks, planting my ass on the chair. “Better now that you’re here.”

  He sat across from me, organizing the scattered books on the table into a pile. “How romantic of you.”

  “You makin’ fun of me?” I challenged vivaciously, swatting his arm.

  He captured my hand, running his fingers over the veins in my inner wrist. A surge of passion coiled in my belly, making me wet. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Syd,” he said.

  A laugh bubbled out of me. It was new to feel this alive with someone, to know I could do and say anything and he’d always be with me. “You’re one of a kind.”

  His silver eyes darkened with desire. “That’s right. You should feel honored in my presence.”

  I pretended to curtsy, which was hard to do in a chair. “Will you court me, your royal highness?”

  A wicked smile spread across his face. “My, I never thought you’d ask.” He took my arm and led me toward the exit.

  A man in a navy blue suit ran inside, pushing us back.

  “What’s the big idea?” I placed my hands on my hips, narrowing my eyes at him.

  His face was littered in fear, the kind you saw in the faces of soldiers at war in the movies. “Stay back. You need to stay here, all of you.”

  There was a loud popping noise outside. It sounded a lot like gunshots.

  “Was that a gun?” I muttered, feeling myself go numb. I’d heard about college shootings before, but I never thought it could happen in Arizona, not at my school.

  “No, just something like it. Some dumb kids with firecrackers. Right?” Jason looked at the man in uniform. Under closer inspection, I noticed his uniform. He was campus police.

  “I shouldn’t say or it could cause a panic,” he replied to us. He ordered everyone to get down and hide.

  The officer locked the library’s doors and slid behind a trash can, gun in hand.

  “Shit, this is really happening,” I said more to myself than any certain person.

  “Sydney, I need you to get down on the ground for me. Okay, get down nice and slow.”

  I followed Jason’s instructions. “What are we going to do?” I couldn’t keep my voice from shaking.

  “Listen to me.”

  “Have you been in this kind of situation before?” I gave him a long look, trying to see if he was secretly in the military.

  “No, but I’ve watched a lot of shows about this kind of shit. I know what to do.”

  I nodded. He was the best I had. If it was up to me, I’d hide under the closest table, hold my knees to my chest, and cry until it was over or I died.

  “Do exactly as I say.”

  “I will.”

  Jason took my hands and gave them a squeeze. “I need you to crawl for me, Syd. Crawl under those tables.” He pointed to our left.

  There was more gunfire outside. It was getting closer.

  My body wanted to freeze up, to lockdown. Jason gave my ass a push, making me go in the direction he pointed. As I crawled, I prayed to God that we’d live through this.

  Jason kept pressing me forward. We hid ourselves in the furthest corner in the library. There were countless tables and chairs separating us from the door. I opened my mouth to say something when the sound of glass breaking took my breath away. Glass rained down on the bookshelves and tables. All the windows exploded as bullets lodged themselves into various walls. Someone screamed in pain. The cop barked orders and then there was a heavy silence. My heart thudded in my ears. Jason gripped my upper arm like a vice, probably bruising me. I dug my fingernails into his thigh and focused on breathing.

  Someone tried to open the front doors. I heard the doors give and the
gunman’s footsteps as he entered. My teeth chattered. Fear spiked through my core, hoping he couldn’t hear me, but I couldn’t stop. Jason brought me in close, holding my face to his chest, which suppressed the noise. His hands were on my back. They were shaking.

  My cell phone vibrated in my back pocket. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? I could call for help!

  I grabbed the phone and found a new text message. It was from the college warning service informing me the school was in lockdown due to a shooter on campus and the police were closing in.

  Jason took my phone and slid it into my purse, hiding its light. The man shot at the bookcases. Papers flew all over as if a bomb had gone off. Something popped, and the lights went out a second later, leaving us hiding in the dark. Jason forced me deeper into the corner. The point where the walls met pressed into me, making my back wish to cramp. Jason clung to my torso, shielding me from a hail of bullets. I buried my face in him as hot tears escaped from my closed eyes.

  The footsteps came closer, crunching on glass. Jason held me tighter. It was as if I was his Achilles’ heel. If I died, so would he. To keep quiet, I bit down on my tongue. Tears stung my eyes. I felt something wet on the top of my head. Jason must’ve been crying too.

  People say when you’re about to die that your life flashes before your eyes. That wasn’t true. I didn’t think of my future, of everything I would miss out on in life, of how brokenhearted my mom would be. Instead I thought of Jason, of how much I loved him. I was happy to die if it was in his arms. Having his arms around me made me feel safe.

  A beat of silence passed.

  All the things I regretted ran through my mind. I hadn’t called my mom to say I loved her in a while. I couldn’t hug Amelia one last time. My biggest regret was I couldn’t thank Jason for saving me from myself. Jason was the first man I fell in love with, and I wanted him to know that he was the only one for me.

  My heart wasn’t complete until I met him. He patched the holes and hugged me tight enough that all the pieces melted together again. I pictured being somewhere romantic, under the stars, making love in the backseat of my Charger, somewhere close and intimate. Not hiding in a dark corner hoping a crazed gunman wouldn’t see us and kill us.