As the flow of images continued, I watched myself be drawn to the beautiful new girl at school, then our first kiss and the warmth that burned my body in the best possible way. The terrible moment of seeing her father, broken and burned, lifeless eyes staring accusingly at me and the guilt I’d felt as I guided her away so that she wouldn’t have to see the same things I had. Again and again we were torn apart, but each time I was drawn back to her like a moth to a flame.
More memories flooded through me: Salem and the feel of her skin as I explored her body fully for the first time; Sweden and the smell of her snow-covered hair as we practiced her self-defense skills in the forests around our shack; New York and the sight of her waking up after being unconscious for almost a week.
The memories came quicker and quicker: learning the truth about my family, falling victim to the agony of the anti-fae protections—even the recollection of the pain was almost enough to drive me to my knees, and yet it was nothing on the agony I felt when I discovered Evie had fled from the hospital in Detroit.
Some of the visions were bright, some dark. The difference between the two was instantly evident: Evie.
Less than a few seconds after the attack on my mind started, it had slowed to a bearable pace and I opened my eyes.
There she was.
As beautiful as ever and looking so anxious was the woman of my dreams and the girl I’d loved since our first kiss. Her desperation to know more, to learn whether I had my memories back, brought every conversation from the last few months back into my mind. Even though she denied that she needed me to be whole again, I could see that she wanted it so badly.
When I thought about the angst and the heartbreak we’d shared in our lives, and in recent months, I had to try to lighten the load. She didn’t need another heart to heart—we’d had too many that circled the same notions lately. Instead, she needed me to reassure her I still remembered her, that the water hadn’t made me forget anew.
As I teased her and watched her desperation to have me in her arms, I felt stupid for the things I’d put her through. I’d been jealous of myself for crying out loud.
If I hadn’t been able to remember exactly how serious it had felt at the time, I would have kicked my own ass for the pain I’d caused her. Even as I teased Evie for needing to know whether I’d regained my memories, I came to a stunning realization. I didn’t need my memories returned to know that I loved her from the bottom of my heart, but now that I had them back, I knew I loved her from the bottom of my soul.
“Yes,” I murmured finally in answer to her question of whether it worked. The memories still flowed through me, flickering through my head like cards in a deck, but they were all there. All of the beautiful, Technicolor life I’d shared with Evie, and the black and white intermissions we’d spent apart.
“Yes, it didn’t work or yes, it did?”
Unable to believe she couldn’t see it all printed on my face, I held her close and pressed my face against her throat. My nose nuzzled into her hair before I nibbled on the soft skin of her earlobe. “Yes.”
She shivered against me as a result of my soft ministrations, and her arms closed around my body. Then she twisted in my arms and planted her soft lips against mine before I could tell her everything. Just as the kiss was heating up deliciously, David cried out from the twins’ crib. Stifling a groan at his impeccable timing, I released my hold on Evie.
“I guess there’s no rest for the wicked,” she said as she stepped away from me.
I reached for her as she walked away, pulling her back to my front, and then I whispered in her ear, “Maybe later, we can have no rest and be very wicked.”
“Well, now I know you have your memories, because you are as cheesy as you ever were,” she said with a laugh.
“You say cheese, I say comedy gold.”
“Whatever, Mister Comedy Gold. Let’s go see to the kids.”
I smiled because, despite the interruptions at the worst possible time, this was exactly where I wanted to be and just who I wanted to be with. My life couldn’t have been more perfect.
Before she could take another step, I grabbed hold of her hand and stopped her. The kids would be okay for another couple of seconds. “Evie, I just wanted to say thank you.”
“What for?”
With a grin that hurt my cheeks, I shook my head because it was impossible to vocalize everything I had to be thankful for. “Just . . . thank you.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for.”
“How about for being you? And for loving me?”
She grinned at me even as she dragged me toward the nursery. “Sometimes I feel as though I never had a choice when it came to loving you.”
I frowned that she could feel that way after everything.
“But if I did have a choice, I would choose you. Each and every time. And you know what?”
“What?” I asked, wondering what the epiphany was that curled her lip up in such a way.
“I know you’d choose me too. You did. I love you.”
We each grabbed one of the babies from the crib to start our now familiar dance.
“And I love this,” she said as her gaze traveled between our two children.
“This is something I never want to take for granted, or forget,” I said. A chuckle left me. “Again.”
EPILOGUE
I COULD BARELY remember my sanctification day. It was hurried and rushed, something put together after the death of my nana at the hands of a fae. Lou and I were both younger than anyone else who had gone before, and we shared our day with Eth, even though we should have had ours a few years after his.
Because of that, I was determined to see the day was a special one for my kids.
As soon as Ava and David were seven—old enough to start training in the ways of the Rain—Evie and I had sat with them and talked about the privilege and responsibility. They would be the first generation to learn the new ways that Eth, Ben, Toni, and I had helped develop. To not indiscriminately slaughter all paranormal creatures, but instead to assess each case based on its own merits. The job was never going to be completely pleasant, but neither would they be required to turn off their own morals as I had been.
It was their birthright to take a leadership role in the Rain, but I wasn’t going to force it onto either of them if they weren’t interested. Both had leapt at the chance to learn the skills they’d seen me demonstrate—the archery, marksmanship, and survival training.
That was almost six years ago, and now that they’d turned thirteen, it was time for them to become full-fledged members of the Rain. Somewhere, Nana was probably rolling over in her grave at the thought of a half-fae—whose fae abilities weren’t bound and were openly celebrated—and a phoenix taking on the role of protectors of humanity, but as I’d learned so many years earlier, Evie, and therefore Ava, were from a line created with the sole purpose of protection. Between my bloodline and Evie’s, there wasn’t anyone with a better pedigree for being in the Rain and keeping the world safe than our kids.
Evie stood at my side, her hand wrapped firmly around mine as our two little doppelgangers stood in front of us, in almost the same position. Ava’s floor-length lilac dress matched her eyes perfectly and set the flames in her hair ablaze. I couldn’t have been happier that she’d decided to wear her hair out in a loose cascade of curls, rather than tying it up. It was part of what made her unique, and I wanted her to celebrate that always. I didn’t want her to live in fear and hide in shame like Evie had to when she was younger.
Beside his sister, David looked a little less comfortable. He wasn’t happy about being squeezed into a suit, or about having to stand up in front of everyone—he definitely inherited all of the reserved traits that had skipped his showboat sister—but he was soldiering on.
Eth stood in front of them, practically busting a gut with how excited he was. Every inch of him reflected his joy, and he was the perfect doting uncle to the pair of them.
“You’
re sure they’re going to be okay?” Evie asked in a whisper as Eth read out the oaths that Ava and David would agree to. The lazy flames in her aura were tightening and coiling, a sure sign of her stress. For all of her desire for the twins to be out in the world and free, she was dreading what happened next.
“They’ll be fine. He won’t let them get hurt.”
She gave me a sideways glance. “He let you get hurt.”
“That was years ago, he’s apologized, and we learned from the mistakes that lead to that incident.” After I’d called Eth to let him know that it had worked—and spoken with Toni to apologize if I was rude—we’d made arrangements to ensure that the information about places off limits to fae were incorporated into Rain databases. We didn’t put the details of any fae court in the system though; we couldn’t trust the hierarchy that much.
“It still hurt.”
“He won’t let anything happen to them,” I reassured her.
“And why can’t you go with them again?”
I squeezed her hand to provide some comfort. “Because it’s tradition that new inductees go on a survival trip without their trainer. It’s a way to prove their skills. Besides, he’s taken them away before and they were fine.”
“But they’re still only kids.”
“They’re of age. And they have talents that put them at an advantage to any other inductees.”
“But—”
I turned and pressed my finger against her lip. “They’ll have Eth, and they’ll have Toni.”
Her gaze trailed over the twins as she frowned “It’s hard admitting they’re growing up.”
“I know.”
Before Evie could say anything more, Eth asked, “Who puts Ava and David Jacobs forward for sanctification?”
“We do,” I said, in time with Evie, taking our cue. In some ways, a sanctification was a little like a wedding, or a baptism—in fact, it was a little of both. During the ceremony, Ava and David would be given the authority of the Rain to perform exorcisms, create holy water, pass judgement on all cases involving others, and be directed to participate in all Rain cases. It was the way things had been for hundreds of years, long before adolescence was considered a separate thing to adulthood. In the Rain, you were an adult the day you were sanctified.
In years gone by, sanctification meant the instant responsibility for everything expected of any Rain operative. In more recent years, it had become something that was only performed for those of us from Elite bloodlines or for those who were second or more generation, because the testing for civilian members was too rigorous for anyone under the age of eighteen.
The whole thing was more ceremonial now, and the reality was likely to be less intense for the twins. They would report to Eth primarily, just as my family had reported to Abe, but with their skills, they would be in demand around the country—possibly around the world. Despite that, Eth had already promised they would be given very few missions until they had finished their schooling. Evie and I were determined to give them a stability neither of us had growing up.
“Would you please present their talismans?” Eth asked, holding out his hand. He was doing a damn fine job of looking official and running the ceremony. He was technically the second-in-command under Ben, but Ben liked to spend time at the fae court too much to focus on the ceremonial side of the Rain. He was available for talking tactics, but that was about it.
When I’d explained the next part of the ceremony to Evie, her eyes had widened and she’d almost refused to let the twins do it. Eventually though, she understood, even if she looked at me like I was crazy every time we talked about possible talismans. I wondered whether it made her realize how much I had given up when I’d passed my own talisman, my chain, on to her. It had rested around her neck for the better part of twenty years after all. Despite everything I’d tried to tell her about what it meant, she hadn’t truly understood until that moment how important it had been to me.
Both Evie and I stepped forward with the heirlooms we’d selected for each of our children. David’s was a ring that was a replica of one that had once belonged to his namesake. The only difference between Evie’s father’s wedding ring and the ring we had for David was the inscription of his name on the inside of the band and the dove symbol carved into the solid gold face. For Ava, it was a delicate bracelet. On one side was a pictograph extract from the poem about her heritage. On the other, her name and the dove.
Evie and I presented the talismans to Ava and David, who then stepped forward. We’d agreed that because David was older by a few minutes, he’d undertake his oaths first. Ava would follow along straight behind.
David held his hand out for Eth, with the ring resting in his upturned palm.
“Today, you are sworn to uphold the lineage of Noah. You have been selected on the basis of your birthright to perform the tasks requested of you immediately and without question or complaint. Do you agree to hold true to the Rain? To be the first line of protection against those creatures who may wish to cause harm to an ally.” That was part of the oath we’d changed in recent years, previously we swore to be the first line of protection for all humanity. Now, we protected fae and the higher beings just as rigorously. “Will you commit your future to the Rain and, by doing so, swear to lay down your life for the protection of those who are unable to protect themselves?”
“This I swear and more,” David replied. His voice broke halfway through, but there wasn’t a single giggle or murmur from the gathered crowd. They all knew how solemn this part of the ceremony was.
“Do you swear an oath in blood?” Eth held out an athame covered in runes. We’d had to order a new one be crafted especially for the occasion because the old versions all had anti-fae carvings in the mix.
“I do.” After sucking in a breath to comfort himself, David reached for the athame and sliced through his palm, right behind where the ring rested, before closing his hand into a fist.
Beside me, Evie sucked down a gasp so it was barely audible. I squeezed her hand to let her know it was okay. We’d all taken the blood oath in our day. Plus, the two athames were sterilized and there was little chance of anything going wrong because David and Ava had been given strict instructions prior to the ceremony.
Eth wrapped his hand around David’s. “The blood and your promise anoint your talisman. It shall be a reminder to you of your promises here today and a guide to lead you to what is right. Wear it always and you shall be granted the grace and protection of your ancestors.”
Eth’s gaze cut to me as he said the words. No doubt, his mind had gone to the same place mine had. In taking mine off, I had broken the luck and destroyed the talisman. In my mind though, I had broken my oath the moment I had told Evie’s father that I would remove the chain if she’d asked me to.
By the time I’d given it to Evie, the magic was long gone—if it had ever existed in the first place. Although perhaps the fact that I was willing to give the chain up for her was proof of the fact it was imbued with magic, because turning my back on the Rain for her had been the right choice without question.
Evie tightened her hold on my hand as Eth repeated the oaths with Ava.
Then he instructed both Ava and David to step toward the font filled with holy water. Because they were a team and they didn’t want to be broken apart, they’d actually asked for an additional oath. One we had agreed to, but only wanted done moments before they were washed clean and sanctified.
As one, they spoke, first saying each other’s names before adding, “I swear to you that I will value your input, respect your wishes, and follow you always. I promise that I will not allow division between us, whether by time or distance.”
“I will be your calming force,” David said.
I smiled because that was something I’d talked to David about when we’d first started training. Ava was special, and over the years she’d learned techniques of keeping herself cool when the sunbird wanted to erupt, but she wasn’t perfect. David could s
ee her aura, he could see how close she was to losing control, and he had learned how to calm her down.
“And I will be your beacon whenever things get dark.”
After Ava had said her individual oath, they both spoke again, “I will be your companion until you find a love that is true, and then I will be your biggest champion.”
Dropping their talismans into the water, they clasped hands, making the pledge a blood oath that would bind them. With my extra sight, I caught a glimpse of something only David and I would have noticed—a slight spark between their auras, a near purple flame over the place where their wounds met. It was almost identical to the entwined auras of Evie and me. It was only there for a fraction of a second, but it told me the oaths they’d taken were more serious than any uttered during a sanctification before. They were now bound by fae magic as much as any ancient tradition.
Still linked, they plunged their hands into the font, letting the holy water cleanse and sanctify their pledges. The water was rosy red by the time they plucked their talismans out of the water and put them on for what would be the first and last time.
Eth started his next reading, about how being an Elite is a responsibility and other such ceremonial crap.
Evie gave a chuckle beside me.
“What is it?” I whispered.
“I never thought I would be a mother to a Rain operative. Could you imagine going back to Charlotte and telling me that one day that would be the case?”
I gave a little chuckle too. “You’re right. You would have said it was impossible.”
“I wouldn’t change a thing though.” She leaned her head on my shoulder. “They’re going to change the world one day. I can feel it.”
“I think you’re right.”
Before long, the ceremony was finished and the operatives who’d come to bear witness headed back to their responsibilities.
Living with Embers: (Son of Rain #4) Page 28
