Strawberry Wine

by Darly Jamison

  Shit. What was I doing? I waved my hand, attempting to play down what I’d just said. “Mags was rooting for you the whole time. She told me not to be afraid to love you. That if we were meant to be together things would work themselves out, and something as insignificant as distance wouldn’t stand in our way.” Her words sounded pointless at the time, but today, under the thick haze of fermented lager, they made perfect sense.

  “But you didn’t believe her? Or you didn’t love me enough?”

  Lifting the glass to my lips, I swallowed the rest of my drink. “I didn’t believe her,” I said, tears suddenly clouding my vision, making it impossible to see. “It was the first time I didn’t think she understood what I was going through.” I blinked rapidly, clearing away the curtain of moisture. “Hey, why am I the only one drinking?” I asked, noticing he’d barely touched his beer.

  Jake glanced at the watch on his wrist. “Because it’s still early, and I’m not a very cute drunk.” He gave me an amused smile. “You, on the other hand . . .” His voice trailed off.

  My face prickled with heat. “Are you saying I’m drunk?”

  “I’m saying you’re a cute drunk.”

  I cocked my head and fixed him with a look. “I might be a lot of things, but drunk I am not.”

  His smile grew wider. “You know, you sound strikingly similar to Yoda when you’re drunk.”

  Irritation pricked at me and I straightened in my chair. “Jake! I am not drunk!”

  Jake laughed and threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. You’re not drunk, I take it back.”

  An electric charge filled the air around us. Jake stared at me with those impossible blue eyes as I fought to maintain a poker face, but holy hell my body was starting to do things—and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. I tried to relax. “So, you think I broke your heart?” I asked, steering him back to the conversation.

  Jake took another drink. “I know you did. It took me a long time to get over you.”

  “But you did. You got over me.”

  “What choice did I have? You broke up with me.”

  I started to say something else, something ridiculously not clever, but the look on his face stopped me in my tracks. He looked so exposed sitting there across from me. And so damn irresistible. “Do you think we had a chance? Back then, I mean,” I asked quietly, afraid to hear his answer.

  Jake was silent for a moment as his eyes traveled around the restaurant. Finally, they landed on me. “I was willing to try, but you wouldn’t listen. You were so stubborn. Still are,” he said with a slow grin.

  I snorted and leaned forward. “I’m stubborn? You’re the one who won’t commit to a relationship—even when it’s to a beautiful fashion designer,” I said, then quickly clamped my lips together. My eyes widened. Please, God. I did not just say that out loud! But the look on Jake’s face confirmed I had opened my mouth and inserted my foot—along with a side of swollen ankle.

  “How do you know I was engaged to a beautiful fashion designer?” he asked with one eyebrow raised. “I never told you that.”

  I let out a frustrated breath, realizing I was busted, without question. Caught red-handed, like a dim-witted villain. Unless . . . “People talk. I must have it heard it somewhere.” I shrugged one shoulder. “So, what was the problem? Was she too into her looks? Completely absorbed in herself and her career?” Good Lord, why couldn’t I shut up?

  Jake shook his head. “No, Tamara was great. Yes, she was beautiful, but she didn’t act like she knew it. And she did most of her work from home. She was caring and attentive, any guy would be lucky to marry her. It just wasn’t working for me.” He leaned forward, our faces inches apart from one another. “Maybe I never got over you, Addison.”

  I sat back in my chair and narrowed my eyes. “Don’t you say that. You’re not allowed to say things like that!”

  Slowly, Jake leaned back, resting one arm on the back of the chair, the hint of a smile dancing on his lips. “But you asked.”

  He had me there. “That doesn’t mean you get to tease me.”

  “Who said I was teasing you? Maybe I’m telling the truth.”

  “Don’t mess with me, Jake,” I warned, shaking my head. “I’ve had a really screwed-up week and I’m full of shit beer.”

  Jake’s lips pulled into a lazy smile. “I knew that beer was too strong for you.”

  “I didn’t say it was too strong, I said it was shit.”

  “That’s why you keep ordering more? And why you are talking so loudly?”

  My gaze flickered over to a nearby table. “I am not talking loudly,” I insisted. Yet the annoying couple-in-love sitting next to us was still throwing me crazy looks.

  Nell walked toward us, a tray full of drinks in her arms. “Hey there, you two. Let’s try to use our indoor voices, okay? You’re already sittin’ well outta the way. I don’t have a quieter area to put ya in.” She set two drinks in front of Romeo and Juliet and walked on to deliver the rest of her orders.

  I bit my lip and looked back at Jake, who was quietly chuckling across from me.

  “Jake,” I hissed. “Why didn’t you tell me I was talking so loud?”

  He only laughed harder. God, it was the greatest sound. Deep and throaty and sexy as hell. I felt a spasm in my stomach and then much, much lower.

  “I did tell you, but you didn’t believe me.”

  Turning in my chair, I waved Nell over. “Can I pretty please have another beer if I promise to be quiet?”

  Nell looked at me with uncertainty and then gave a reluctant sigh. “You’re not drivin’, are ya?”

  I shook my head.

  “Well, in that case . . . Can I get you another one, handsome?” she asked, looking over at Jake.

  He shook his head. “No thanks, I’m good.”

  “Yes, you are,” I heard her say underneath her breath as she sauntered off.

  I looked back at Jake, who was watching me closely. “What? You don’t think I can handle another beer?”

  He dipped his head, running a tanned hand along the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Do you always drink like this?”

  “No. I rarely drink, and when I do it’s normally a glass or two of wine.”

  “I was afraid of that.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I demanded, staring at his broad shoulders, the dangerous way his black hair curled across his forehead, his magical eyes that matched the rolling waves of the ocean. Oh crap. “Forget it. I’m going to use the restroom.”

  Before he could respond, I stood up from my chair and forced myself forward, not knowing where I was going. It didn’t take long to discover the room was starting to spin. My eyes darted quickly from one corner of the restaurant to the next, desperately searching for the women’s room. When I saw the sign above the entrance, I made a beeline toward it, closing the door tightly behind me.

  It was then that I heard an alarm ping from inside my purse. Opening it up, I retrieved my cell phone, my eyes moving over a new text message from Ruby.

  Addy, what the hell’s going on? Your mom said she saw you leave with Jake Grady! I don’t know where you are or what you’re up to, but you need to call me this instant!

  Oh shit. Mom saw me leave? This couldn’t be good.

  Ruby, everything’s fine. Yes, I’m with Jake. We just sort of ran into each other. I can’t talk now, but I’ll call you later. BTW, the funeral home looks amazing. You’re the absolute best. XO

  I leaned back against the oak door and let out a long breath. Hopefully that would be enough to keep Ruby quiet for a while. Before I put my phone away, I turned off the ringer. “What are you doing?” I asked out loud. “Besides making a total fool of yourself!”

  “You’re not makin’ a fool of yourself, sweetie,” I heard a raspy voice say. “That boy is clearly taken by you.”

  My eyebrows drew together as I bent down, eyeing the pink cowboy boots in the stall closest to me. The toilet flushed, and Nell walked out, barely loo
king at me as she made her way toward the sink.

  “My only suggestion would be to sip the next drink a little slower. You’re startin’ to look like a lush.” She washed her hands, then grabbed a paper towel, drying them off and discarding it in the trash. She turned to face me. “There are plenty of women in this town who’d be more than happy to get horizontal with that boy—if ya know what I mean, and I think ya do.”

  God, did I know.

  “He’s enough to make a good girl forget her reputation. But if ya haven’t noticed, he only has eyes for you.”

  I stepped back, my gaze dropping to the floor. “Oh, uh . . . I wasn’t talking about him.”

  Nell laughed loudly. “The hell ya weren’t! Look, I know burnin’ loins when I see ’em, and you, girl, have got a ragin’ fire on your hands. You’re gonna need someone to put out that blaze,” she said, arching her eyebrows. “Don’t try to kid yourself.”

  I crinkled my nose. “I’m engaged to someone else. He’s a doctor and he loves me very much. Definitely more than he loves his patients.” Good gravy, why couldn’t I just shut up?

  “Hmm, that’s too bad. I thought maybe you and that boy had a history together.”

  I felt my cheeks blush. “We do. Jake was my first love.”

  Nell gave me a knowing smile. “Ahh, first love. Well, that explains it. A girl never quite gets over her first love. I know I never did, that’s why I married him. May the ol’ goat rest in peace.”

  “Did you always know he was the one?”

  Nell looked off to the side, a faraway look in her eyes. “Oh, I always knew he was the one. But then he left town without me to ride the rodeo circuit and I thought I’d never see him again. He found his way back a few years later after an injury forced him to give up ridin’. I snatched him up right away, and the rest is history. We were married for thirty-three years before colon cancer took him home.”

  She looked at me, her eyes moist with tears. “I don’t regret a single day I spent with that man. And knowin’ what I know now and all the struggles we had along the way, I’d do it over again in a heartbeat if I had the chance.” She pulled a napkin from her pocket and touched it to each eye. “You know, Addy, every moment gives us a new beginnin’ and a new endin’. You get a second chance every moment of your life. You just have to learn to make the most of it. Anyway, I gotta get back to work. You take it easy on that drink, ya hear. And on that boy.” She walked out of the restroom.

  By the time I made it back to the table my stomach was tangled in knots and a new drink was waiting for me.

  “Are you okay?” Jake asked when I sat down. “You were gone for a while. I was getting worried.”

  I scanned the room, searching for Nell. She was behind the bar, chatting away with another waitress. Our eyes met and she gave me a wink. “I’m fine, just ran into someone in the restroom.” I tore my gaze away from her and looked at Jake. There was a time when I thought he was the one, or at least thought he could be. Had I ever honestly felt that way about Christopher? Of course, I loved Christopher, but was I in love with him? Or were all of these crazy insecurities brought on by the beer? The longer I sat there, the harder it was to think. “You know, I—”

  Just then my hand caught the handle of my mug and it tipped over, spilling the contents all over the table. Jake and I stood up, throwing the stack of napkins on top of the mess. Dark golden liquid gushed way across the table, despite our best efforts to contain it.

  A couple of nearby waitresses made their way over, wiping up the spill with large clothes. “I’m so sorry,” I gasped. “It was an accident.”

  “Of course it was, sweetie,” one waitress said. “It’s happened a million times before and it’ll happen a million times again. Don’t you worry about it, this is an easy fix. Other things, not so much.” She turned to Jake, her eyes moving appreciatively up the length of him. “I’ll be right back to clean this up properly.”

  “Do you think Nell could bring the check?” Jake asked before she left. “I think we’ve had enough. Is that all right?” He looked back at me, a question in his eyes.

  I felt my shoulders fall at the thought of our reunion ending. “Okay.” I shrugged, trying to seem as though I didn’t care.

  “Sure thing.” The waitress walked toward the bar and we sat down as Nell made her way toward us.

  “Callin’ it a day?” she asked.

  Jake smiled at her. “I think so. What do we owe you?”

  “Here’s the check,” she said, handing it over. “I took the last drink off since Addy didn’t get to enjoy it.” Nell threw me another wink.

  “Thank you, Nell. I’m sorry I made such a mess.”

  She waved her hand. “It ain’t no skin off my back. No harm, no foul.”

  Jake reached into his wallet and handed over a few bills. “Here you go, Nell. Thanks for taking care of us. Keep the change.”

  Nell’s face broke into a wide smile. “Why thank you, handsome. I’d say you’re a keeper.” She gave me a sideways glance, her eyes twinkling mischievously. I returned her smile, hoping Jake hadn’t seen the exchange. “Maybe I’ll see you two later? I take it you’re going to the burial tomorrow?”

  “We’ll be there,” Jake answered. His eyes moved from Nell then back to me. “Are you ready, Addison?”

  My lips pursed and I nodded. “Thanks, Nell. For everything.”

  “My pleasure, sweetie. I’ll see ya soon.”

  “What do I owe you?” I asked Jake, as we stood from our chairs.

  “Not a thing. This was on me.” Jake rested his hand on the small of my back as he guided me toward the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “Well, I don’t think going back to the wake is a good idea,” Jake said after we settled into his truck. “Your parents will have a fit if they find out you’re drunk.”

  I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. “I’m not drunk, Jake.”

  “Oh no? Do you always walk with a wobble?” He glanced at me sideways, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

  A wave of heat made its way across my face. “It’s my ankle. I guess it’s still a little tender.” Oh, who was I kidding? If I’d finished that last drink before it spilled, I would have gone from sloppy to completely shit-faced in a matter of minutes. And Jake knew it. I wasn’t fooling him.

  “Well, either way, it’s probably not a good idea. Unless you really want to go back?”

  Going back to the funeral home was the last thing I wanted to do. A feeling of guilt flowed through me. “Not really,” I answered quietly. “Is that bad?”

  He shook his head and lifted his hand, unbuttoning the top of his shirt, then gently pulling at the tie until it hung loosely around his neck. “I don’t think so. Mags knows you love her. Your family knows you love her. I don’t think you have to go to the wake to prove that. And besides, who cares what anyone else thinks? Not everyone handles funerals well. But the choice is yours. I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

  A needle of reflection pricked at my chest. I knew exactly where I wanted to go. “I want to go to the farm,” I said, holding my breath.

  I watched Jake turn toward me slowly, an expression I couldn’t make sense of covering his face. “Are you sure?” he asked, his brows crumpling slightly.

  I nodded. “I’m sure.”

  Heading west through town, Jake took the rural country road that led to the farm, following the lazy curves until the hull of an old barn came into view.

  My gaze flickered over his face as we approached the long drive, taking notice as his jaw clenched when he turned onto the property. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this place,” he said quietly, parking the truck and turning off the engine. “Hard to believe it’s been ten years.”

  Jake removed his tie and button-up, revealing a tight white T-shirt underneath. I could see the cut of his pecs stirring underneath the thin fabric, and good gravy, my pulse kicked up a notch.

  Silently, we hopped out of the truck and close
d the doors behind us. We began a slow walk along a bush-lined path that forked off to an open pasture. Broken sunlight passed through the scarlet oaks and buckeye trees as a sense of quiet contentment swirled between us. “It’s so peaceful here. I feel as if I can breathe. It’s like I’ve been holding my breath without even realizing it, and it finally releases once I’m here. It happens every time I come home.” I turned to look at him. “Does that sound weird?”

  Jake shook his head. “Not at all. I remember your family’s farm fondly, I think it’s why I have a small one of my own. There’s just something about it that draws you in. I never could understand why you wanted to leave here. At the time, I thought maybe it was because of Brett. But you left anyway, even after he was no longer a threat.”

  I let out a soft chuckle. “Brett Lawrence—God, I haven’t thought of him in ages.” A gentle breeze blew across my cheek, and I reached up to tuck the hair out of my face. “I was just a kid. I was convinced there was a big world out there waiting for me. It didn’t seem right hanging around a small town.”

  “Do you still feel that way?” he asked, his gaze locking with mine.

  A slow smile eased its way across my face. “I’ve found a new appreciation for small-town living. Atlanta’s just so big and congested. I don’t think I’d ever want to raise a family there, not that I’m worrying about that right now. It’s just too bad it took my moving away to come to that conclusion. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I branched out a little. I don’t think I would have felt satisfied if I hadn’t. If I hadn’t moved away, I think I always would have wondered what I was missing, so I guess I have no regrets. It’s just . . . coming back here makes me miss the way life used to be. So simple and peaceful. Do you feel like that at your ranch?”

  Jake’s gaze held mine for an instant longer, then he wheeled around and stared straight ahead. “I love living on the ranch. Having a wide-open spot all to myself with no one nearby to watch over what I’m doing. It gives me a sense of freedom.” He looked back at me. “That’s how I felt working here that summer. Like nothing or no one could touch me. It was exactly what I needed at the time.”