Just...Breathe: The Love They Had Always Wanted, and Now Try to Fight... (The Broken Series #1)

by Angela Fattig

  “Honey what’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I whispered.

  He cups my face, looking deep in my eyes. “Just touch me, feel me, and let me love you,” he responded.

  I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled his mouth back to mine. I opened and his tongue dances with mine, whispering secrets only for me.

  He tasted of heaven and promises not yet spoken. He made me feel as if the fairy tale could come true.

  He pulled away trialing his lips down my neck. “Chase,” I breathed.

  “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies,” he whispered against my neck.

  “You’re quoting Aristotle at a time like this?” I whispered.

  “It’s the way you make me feel, my love,” he groaned.

  I smiled feeling a little brave. “Is that all you have Chase?” I asked.

  He pulled away looking deep into my eyes. “Damn Jaden. You have made me harder than I ever thought I could be,” he said, stunned. “What more do you want baby?”

  I pulled his face to mine, our lips lightly brushing. “You in me, now,” I moaned.

  I heard his breath catch as he ran his hands down my back. He lightly brushed his lips across mine. “Are you sure Jaden?” he asked breathlessly.

  Was I sure? There was a fire inside me. One I had never felt before, burning deep, deep inside. I felt it right to my core, deep inside straight down to my clit. The throbbing was enough to send me over the edge. Could I do this? Should I do this? Will he look at me differently when we have finished?

  I cannot think and I did not want to. I needed this, needed him now. “Yes,” I answered reaching between us, griping his cock tightly in my hand.

  Words were no longer needed. He growled and lunged for my mouth. Taking me places I had only dreamt of. The world ceased to turn as the muscles deep within clinched and ached for his touch.

  His tongue invaded my mouth-sending wave after wave of electricity coursing through me. No one ever told me that sex could feel like this; waking every nerve in my body making it come to life.

  As he found one breast, lightly pinching and rolling my nipple, I broke the kiss throwing my head back. Moaning with intensity I had never experienced, one I believed I would never feel again.

  “Oh Jaden,” he whispered as he continued his assault on my body and soul. Moving his lips to my neck, he nipped, sending my body into violent tremors.

  My hand moved as if it had a mind of its own. Stroking and soothing him through his pants. He moaned, taking skin between his lips and sucking. “Bedroom, now,” he hissed through clinched teeth. Lifting me as he stood and claiming my mouth once more.

  My arms wrapped around his neck bring him even closer, deepening the kiss. We stumbled to the bedroom, devouring each other.

  He walked over, next to the bed, and allowed my body to slide down his, breaking the kiss. My eyes flew open to find him staring at me, into my soul.

  I blinked as a little bit of reality started to settle back in. I knew what he wanted, what all men want. I also knew how to play the part. “Fuck me Chase,” I whispered reaching for his cock.

  He stepped back shaking his head as a worried look crossed his face. Maybe he wanted a submissive and I over stepped the line. I clinched my hands together looking at them, not sure what would come next. Should I prepare for a blow to the face? On the other hand, would he leave as all the others had when I crossed the line?

  I felt him step closer and he lifted my face to his. There was a pained look in his eyes. I was out of my comfort zone, unsure as to what the next move should be.

  He stroked my face then cupped my cheeks in his hands bringing his lips inches from mine. “I don’t fuck baby,” he breathed against my mouth. “I make love.”

  I gasped, as my eyes grew large. He took my lips with his own, branding himself on me. His hands caressed my body, sliding over my breasts as he searched for the hem of my top. Love? There was no such thing. Yet, as his mouth danced over mine, I lost myself.

  Sliding his hands under and across my skin, I stiffened. No one has touched me for so long it was almost painful.

  He halted his movement as if giving me time to adjust to the feel of his hands on my bare flesh. I pulled his mouth closer, dancing my tongue with his and I felt my body relax.

  His hands began sliding back up my skin as his mouth moved across my face down to my neck. I moaned and leaned back to give him better access all the while griping his hair and pulling his face closer to my skin.

  His hands found my breasts through my bra as I dug my nails into his back. As he rolled and pinched my nipples, he was sucking my neck, nipping, and licking.

  The blood coursing through my veins boiled, scorching my skin. I moaned, “Chase,” as I felt the warm liquid pooling between my legs. Running my hands across his back, I felt his muscles flex beneath my fingers and they itched to touch his skin.

  Suddenly he pulled back leaving me cold and detached. ‘What did I do wrong?’ I wondered. ‘What did he want?’

  His eyes searched mine and for a brief second I could see uncertainty flash in them. “Enough, clothes, off now.” He growled.

  Sadness filled me. So he wanted a submissive, not me. My hands moved to the hem of my top as he stepped forward, stopping me. I looked into his eyes as I scrunched my face in confusion. “Let me,” he whispered, removing my hands and griping the hem.

  I nodded, more confused than I had ever been. Pulling my top up and over my head, he stopped and looked at me. Feeling exposed and bare, I covered myself as a blush rushed over me.

  “Don’t, let me look at you,” he said.

  I dropped my arms. This I knew this I could do. I learned the hard way to comply or pay the price. The look in Chase’s eyes told me that I would pay dearly if I defied him. There was no love, only sex. Men used women every day and sadly, Chase was no different from the men in the sleazy motels. Well, except he paid more, remembering the expense account.

  As tears threaten to fall he stepped closer and I looked away. “Look at me,” he said and I snapped my face around to his. Yes, I can do this. This is all I have ever known and it was killing me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The Calm before the Storm

  Never in my life had I felt this strong desire, this intensity. The pulling in my gut was telling me to run before it was too late. Yet, I knew it was all over for me the moment she stepped into my office.

  This beautiful creature had pulled me in and dug her claws right into my soul. I reached for her pants and she flinched. I stilled my fingers on the button, looking deep into her eyes. ‘What battles are you fighting Jaden?’ I silently questioned.

  I stood back. “Undress me baby,” I whispered, hoping it would relax her. I saw what looked like fear flash in her eyes, but she moved and started to pull my shirt off. Once rid of the confinement of my shirt I touched her shoulders, pulling her close. Looking into her eyes I asked, “Do you have any idea what you are doing to me?” She shook her head as confusion replaced the fear in her gaze. “You turn my world upside down. You make me forget, Jaden. Forget all the past hurt. You make me want to believe that the fairy tale can truly be real, be mine.”

  I closed my eyes, pushing back the overwhelming emotions trying to claim me. I must go slowly, for her sanity and for mine. When my eyes opened again, I saw tears in hers. This pained me. I didn’t want to make her cry. “Please let me love you?” I begged.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and a tear escaped. I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb. ‘Damn the demons,’ I cursed her past.

  “That’s all I have ever wanted,” she whispered opening her eyes. “I’m yours, for now.”

  The torment I saw was my undoing. My heart constricted as I took her mouth. I rid her of her pants and laid her back on the bed. Standing to remove my pants, I halted. The beautiful goddess staring up at me in the moon light looked frigid and scared.

  She reached for me and it start
led me to my core. How could she look like that yet still reach for me? I growled removing my pants. I was determined to banish everything that haunted this beautiful creature, even if it killed me.

  I lie next to her, pulling her against me. She searched for my mouth and latched on to me. Her taste was addicting and the feel of her skin unraveled me. I reached behind her, removing her bra. Releasing her mouth, I clamped onto one breast as I massaged the other.

  She screamed as she arched her back, thrusting more of her into my wanting mouth. She ground her hips into my groin, pushing against me. I groaned as the pleasure overrode my senses.

  She was digging her hands through my hair, pulling. “Chase, please,” she begged.

  I began to trail kissing down her stomach and she stilled once more. I did not stop. “The things I could do to your body,” I breathed against her skin. “How bad do you want me, Jaden?”

  “I don’t,” she whispered.

  “Yes, you do,” I growled. “So stop fighting it and let me taste you.”

  She groaned as she pulled my hair. I reached the edge of her lace panties. Griping them with my teeth, I pulled them down and off.

  “Now, Chase!” she screamed.

  I crawled between her legs kissing as I went. As I reached the apex of her legs, I inhaled. “God, you smell good,” I said as my mouth took her forbidden place. “You taste even better.”

  She bucked, pulling my head closer. “More!” she screamed.

  Searching her sweetness with my tongue and sucking her clit, I was blown away by her savageness; clawing at my hair, pulling, wanting more, wanting me to stop. I was not sure which.

  Pulling hard this time, she pleaded, “In me, now.”

  With a final tug of her clit, I crawled up her body, positing myself above her. Supporting my weight on my arms, I stroked her face. “The things you make me feel that I never thought I would ever feel again,” I breathed.

  Closing her eyes, tightly, she whispered, “Please.”

  “Hush baby,” I said. “I forgot. I have not done this in four years. I don’t have protection.”

  Her eyes shot open, staring deeply into mine. “Four years?” she whispered and I nodded. She shook her head and closed her eyes once more. “It’s fine. I’m infertile. Don’t make me beg anymore.” Her voice caught.

  As I plunged into her, I knew she had penetrated the wall around my heart. She reached for me, pulling my mouth to hers. There was now a need, greater than the both of us, reflected in her kiss. As my hips thrust into her, my tongue and mouth was matching her need.

  She arched her back, pushing into me. I took advantage of her position and snaked my arms around her, holding her tight against me as I moved inside her.

  As her walls begin to pulse around me, and her breath caught in her throat, she tried to break the kiss. “No, don’t leave me,” I pleaded. “Stay with me. I need you. I need this closeness.”

  She cried out, reclaiming my mouth, seeking entrance, which I gave, as her arms tightened around me.

  The heat was building to levels I had never felt before. As I thrust into her one last time, she clinched around me screaming into my mouth. The sound of her, the feel of her surrounding me pushed me over the edge and I released everything that was me inside her.

  Reluctantly I released her mouth, as the need for air was too great. I rested my head on hers, trying to catch my breath. I felt her sobbing beneath me. Opening my eyes, I could now see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

  I pulled out and shifted my weight off her, lying beside her. She turned away, curling into a ball. I tried to pull her against me and she stiffened. “Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked.

  In a sad and distant voice, she said, “The John doesn't touch afterwards. He leaves.”

  I froze. ‘What the hell was she talking about?’ I wondered. “Jaden, look at me,” I demanded.

  She pulled away and repeated more forcefully this time, “The John doesn't touch afterwards. He leaves. You know the rules.”

  Grabbing her shoulder I said, “Jaden, I said look at me.”

  “Just get the fuck out!” she screamed as she started to rock.

  Backing away, I climbed out of bed, pulling my clothes back on. My mind, body, and soul were numb. ‘What in the hell just happened?’ I questioned. I knew Jaden was not going to tell me, so I will not waste my time. “Damn you John and Lori,” I muttered.

  Once dressed I slowly walked back to the bed and sat down. I reached for the blankets, covering her trembling body. I pulled her close to me and this time she didn’t fight me. I bent down, placing a kiss on her head. “I will always be here for you,” I whispered standing, and then I walked to the door, and turned back.

  “Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”

  I took a deep breath. “Barbara De Angelis said that Jaden and I believe it. I know you are fighting demons. Know this, I want you. I have since you walked into my office. I am not leaving you, I’m merely stepping back so you can just breathe.”

  She didn’t move an inch, yet I could see her eyes were open, so she was listening to me. At that moment, a thought struck me. I headed into the living room picked up her IPOD. Hoping to find what I was looking for.

  There it was, November Rain- Guns N’ Roses. “Don't ya think that you need somebody- Don't ya think that you need someone- Everybody needs somebody-You're not the only one-You're not the only one,” I whispered the last few lyrics of the piece as I pressed repeat then play. I set it back down and walked out the door, I mumbled, “John and Lori have a lot of explaining to do.”

  I sped through town with one thought on my mind. John and Lori will tell me about the missing gap in Jaden’s past. I have to understand what I am up against before I can figure out my next move.

  Parking in front of their house, I saw by the dash clock, it was midnight. “Damn it to hell,” I said getting out of the car.

  I rushed up to the door and started pounding on it. “John, wake up you ass,” I yelled pounding again.

  The porch light came on and the door opened. “Chase, what in the hell are you doing here at this hour?” John asked.

  Ignoring his question, I pushed past him inside. “Get Lori down here,” I growled. “You two have some explaining to do.”

  “Damn it Chase,” he said. “Can’t it wait until morning?”

  I ran my hand over my face. “I slept with her John,” I said. “Then she kicked me out.”

  From the door, I heard Lori gasp. “You didn’t?” she asked.

  “I showed up with dinner and Steven was there,” I explained. “He was forcing himself on her. She asked me to get rid of him. After that, we ate dinner. Before I knew it, we were in bed panting for air. She’s crying.” I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I don’t want to relive this part. Opening my eyes, I continued. “I moved and tried pulling her to me and then she said the strangest thing,

  “The John doesn't touch afterwards. He leaves.”

  I thought I had misunderstood and tried to pull her close again. She repeated herself but adds an extra line,

  “The John doesn't touch afterwards. He leaves. You know the rules.”

  “Then she told me to get the fuck out.” I paced, and then turned to Lori. She had her hand over her mouth and she was crying. “Lori, tell me what is wrong with her?” I begged.

  Lori looked at John. “Go be with her Lori,” he said. “I’ll talk to Chase.” She nodded and rushed from the room. I stood there staring after her.

  “Chase, have a seat,” John said walking over to the bar. “We need to talk.”

  I sat on the couch blindly watching John pour two drinks. I was afraid I would not like what John had to tell me.

  “You don’t sleep with women unless you care,” John said as he handed me a glass. “Drink, you’re going to need it with what I have to tell
you.”

  I downed the whiskey in one shot. “That bad, huh?” I asked.

  John set down and took a long deep breath. “Bear in mind that what I am about to tell you Lori only found out today over lunch with Jaden,” he explained. “You know that her father died tragically when she was ten, right?” I nodded. “Her mother only married him for his money, she never loved him. Once he was gone and the business began to fail, she sold quickly to the highest buyer. When that money ran out, they were forced to live in a dump trailer. Jaden’s mom wanted the good life back and decided to use both Jaden and her sister, Sammie, to get it.” He took a sip from his glass. “When Jaden was eleven, her mother made it clear that all men would ever want her for was sex. She set about making Sammie ready to pull wealthy men in while she pimped Jaden off to make ends meet. Jaden lost her virginity in a sleazy, smelly, cold, and dark motel room bed. Jaden believed she had escaped when she was twenty-one, but mommy dearest had one last trick up her sleeve.” Again, he took a sip and refilled mine and motioned for me to take a drink.

  I was having a difficult time wrapping my mind around what John was telling me. How could any mother do that to their flesh and blood? My heart was breaking for her, yet at the same time, anger was filling me. “What was her last trick?” I asked in a thick heavy voice.

  “Take another drink, first,” he said as he does the same. I did as John said, and waited. “Steven was Sammie’s final test. Jaden’s mom said that if Sammie could take Steven away from her she was ready for the men who mattered. So two years ago Jaden arrived home from work ready to celebrate their one year anniversary and found Steven in bed with Sammie.”

  “What did she do?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It was a nightmare,” he said. “She screamed, cried, got drunk, but the scariest part of it all was when she went missing. Lori was out of her mind with worry for seven days. What you have seen, up until tonight, was what she came back like. She never said were she had been or whom she was with. She moved in with us until she was able to get that dumpy apartment. We tried to get her to stay but she refused.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Each day after she came back, she pulled more and more inside herself.”