Just...Breathe: The Love They Had Always Wanted, and Now Try to Fight... (The Broken Series #1)

by Angela Fattig

  “Is that why you tried setting us up?” I questioned.

  He nodded. “Partly,” he said. “You, in a way, were much like Jaden, lost and alone. We never set out to hurt anyone. We only wanted two people we care about very much to be happy.”

  I cleared my throat. “This week away trip to the island, she was going to be there?” I asked.

  John nodded again. “That was the plan. Lori had only thought of inviting Jaden for a birthday getaway,” he admitted. “I suggested bring you along.”

  “That was the plan?” I inquired. “Is it not still?”

  He shrugged. “After tonight, I really don’t know,” he whispered. “Maybe all of this was a bad idea. As much as I love Lori and care about Jaden, she might be too far gone.”

  I poured another glass, downed it, and poured again. When I first touched her, first started to love her, she was still with me. She had not coiled up inside herself. I knew with time, I could help her, but is it a place I could travel?

  It would mean sacrificing a part of myself, but in the end, if I succeeded, I would gain so much more. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves,” I mumbled a quote by Victor Hugo.

  “You only mumble quotes when you’re in love Chase,” John chuckled. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

  “I will follow her into her darkness in order to show her the light,” I said as I looked John in the eyes. “I don’t know if I would call it love, but I know I have never felt this way before. Get her to the island, no matter what you have to do. Do you understand?”

  “Of course, Chase,” John said standing and following me to the door. “I take it you have a plan?”

  I opened the door, stepped out, and turned back. “Yes,” I said. “I’m going to make her want me, need me. She will be forced to come out of herself in order to have me. When she does I will follow her into her darkness and show her the light on the other side.”

  “Are you still coming to the island?” John asked, as I was halfway to my car.

  Opening the door I answered, “No, I think if I did it would close her off more. I will be here waiting for her.” I slipped into the car. I must talk to Sandy.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Escape

  I was laying there in shocked silence listening to the song Chase left playing. I was so ashamed of how he was making me feel I reverted to the person I used to be.

  My mother had made it clear that if I ever had any real connection with a man it would be one-sided. No man is his right mind would ever want a girl like me, broken and used. My tears gone now as I had dried up a long time ago.

  I should go and shower, but then remembered that my water had been shut off. Besides, I could still smell him, and I never wanted to forget that smell. “God what have I done?” I said aloud. “Now I’ve lost him.”

  “Judging by the song playing and the fact he is with John right now, you haven’t lost anyone,” Lori said from the door, startling me.

  “Oh Lori, I was so scared,” I cried. “I had never had those feelings before and he…he made me come.”

  Lori chuckled walking over to the bed and took a seat. “Jaden, the feelings are normal,” she said. “You’re beautiful and Chase really likes you. It is fine to like him back. You have got to stop allowing your mom to run your thoughts.”

  “He was so sweet and gentle,” I said. “He recited love quotes to me and he said it had been four years for him.”

  “He wasn’t lying,” Lori assured her. “He hasn’t been with anyone since Samantha fucked him over. He thought he was in love with her. He was even ready to marry her.”

  I sat up clutching the blanket. “He walked in on her in bed with a guy,” she explained. “She told him that he was crazy to believe in love and that all any woman wanted from a man was his money. After, he packed and left he closed himself off.”

  “What about all the women I’ve seen him in the papers with?” I asked.

  “They were his PA’s.” she answered. “There were so many because each one proved Samantha right.” Lori brushed my hair off my face. “Chase only sleeps with a woman he cares about.”

  I groaned and flopped back on the bed. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” I said. “If my mom or sister found out about him…Well they would do anything to make sure I’m never happy; might as well cut my losses now. Besides, I still have to work for him. It’s best to just pretend it never happened.”

  Lori’s cell buzzed. She pulled it out and read the text. “Get up, shower, and pack,” she said. “We’re going to the island a little early.”

  “That’s sounds lovely, only one problem,” I said and Lori gave me a questioning look. “My water was shut off.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Get up, get dressed, and packed,” she repeated. “You can shower at my place.” Then she walked out the door. “I take it that your IPOD is coming?” she asked as she switched it off.

  “Of course,” I shouted back. I stood and put on the clothes I had been wearing earlier.

  As I was packing, a question came to mind. “Will he be on the island too?” I called to Lori.

  She appeared in the door. “Do you want him there?” she asked cautiously.

  I thought about her question. Did I want him there? Part of me did. Ok, if I were honest all of me did, but after what had happened… there was no way he still wanted me and I was too ashamed to face him yet.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not ready to face him yet,” I whispered.

  “Then he won’t be there,” Lori confirmed.

  “Was it the plan all along for him to be there?” I questioned and Lori slowly nodded. I squinted my eyes. “I guess I already knew that. What I don’t know is why.”

  Lori frowned. “Get your stuff and we’ll talk in the car,” she said. “You have figured out that a plane is involved in this trip right and I don’t have any pills?”

  Dread filled me. “That’s why we weren’t going to leave until Saturday.” I breathed. “Why are we leaving early and who was that text from?”

  Lori took a deep breath. “I got two texts,” she explained, “One from Chase and the other from John. Chase said to get you to the island and to make sure you enjoyed your birthday. John said he thinks Chase has something up his sleeve but would not say what it could be.” She stepped closer. “Jaden, let it go for now. You think too much sometimes. There is more to life than thought. Life is meant to be felt and cherished, not feared. Let’s go.”

  Picking up my bags, I nodded and followed Lori out. Pausing for my purse, I saw Lori had put my IPOD and the blackberry from Chase in it. Feeling a little confused, I shook it off and followed Lori out the door.

  Once the bags were stowed in the small trunk, we slid into the car and Lori’s cell went off again. She pulled it from her purse, looking at it she frowned.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “We are to bypass the house and head straight to the air strip,” she said. “Chase says your pills are waiting for you there.”

  ‘My pills?’ I thought. ‘How does he know?’ Before I could voice my question, another text came through.

  “John is at the strip waiting,” she relayed. “Chase just left.”

  I sighed as Lori started the car, turning towards the strip. “There is only one way all of this is going to end,” I whispered, “Always me getting hurt.” Lori either did not hear me or choose to ignore me. “Now tell me why?”

  She shrugged. “Simple, we saw two people we love spiraling out of control. We knew…” she shook her head, “No, we know the two of you are perfect for each other.”

  I sat there fidgeting. Could Lori and John be right? Could I really have a future with Chase? I don’t know how to do relationships. I only know one thing. Can I really face my demons and come out unscratched?

  I looked up at Lori. “Do you think he still wants me?” I asked in a small and unsure voice.

  �
�Jaden, Chase doesn’t do casual,” she said. “He won’t even kiss a woman unless he feels something for her. Yes, he still wants you. I think that is why he wants you on the island. He wants to give you time to recover while temptation is out of his reach.” She took a breath as she turned on to the strip. “I think he’s more afraid than you are.”

  “Should I call him?” I asked. “So I can apologize.”

  She opened her door and looked back. “Give it a week on the island,” she answered. “Then decide. I can’t tell you what to feel or how to feel. What I can tell you is this, he will be missing you. He is a great guy despite the restaurant scene. He may even be as screwed up as you, just in a different way. Give him time to understand what John told him.”

  I sucked in a breath. “You told John?” I asked in shock. “He told Chase?”

  “Damn it Jaden!” she exclaimed. “Someone had to. He deserved to know. I will admit it should have been you who told him. He came to us begging. He was hurt and confused by what you had said. I am not going to apologize, because that would be a lie.” She shook her head. “Let’s go, John is waiting and you know how long it takes the pill to kick in.”

  “How did he know about the pills? Was it John?” I questioned.

  She shook her head. “No, that is the confusing part, no one told him,” she said as she stepped from the car into John’s arms.

  Was there a way I could have what John and Lori have? In Chase’s arms, it felt like anything was possible. However, in the cold light of day, I was not so sure. Maybe Lori was right. Maybe I try to think things to death.

  Shaking my head, I stepped from the car. John released Lori and stalked around the car to me. Confusion, concern, and sadness all reflect from his eyes.

  Before I could react, I was in his arms. “Jaden sweetheart,” he said. “There is no need to be scared. Chase isn’t going to hurt you.”

  I sighed. This was the first time John had ever tried to touch me. At first, I stiffened, but he would not let go. After a second, I relaxed and hugged him back. Over his shoulder, I saw Lori waving at someone in the building. I shifted to see who it was, but no one was there.

  John pulled back, looking down into my eyes as he stroked my cheek. I smiled weakly up at him. John winked, placing am arm around my shoulder, and turned to Lori.

  “I must be the luckiest man alive,” he said joking. “I’m being whisked away to an island in the middle of the night with not one, but two beautiful women.”

  Lori laughed while I blushed. John handed me a bottle and went to pull the luggage out of the trunk.

  I eyed the contents. They looked just like the pills I normally took for panic and anxiety. Something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I turned to see what it was and froze. When my eyes found and held Chase’s gaze my breath caught. He was standing inside the small building watching me through the window.

  I lifted the bottle in a thank you gesture and he nodded, smiling.

  “Are you going to go talk to him or take a pill so we can go?” Lori chuckled.

  Her question startled me and I blushed again looking at her. Lori and John were smiling and I shook my head. I turned back and Chase was gone.

  I felt a little confused and empty. Men don’t make me feel like that, at least not the way Chase does. I felt like a part of me left with him. I just hoped that when he has finished with it I could get it back.

  “Jaden, come on,” Lori said.

  I swallowed a pill and turned back to them I said, “Keep your pants on, I’m coming.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  The Long Week

  I was five days into my vacation. I was more than ready to go home. It was a lovely break and lord knew I needed it, but I felt lonely and cold in spite of the Hawaiian warmth.

  Despite the beauty of the tropics, the beach house, and the island, I just wanted to go home. I did not want to voice it, but I knew what, or rather who, was making me feel this way.

  I had spent the last five days watching and studying Lori and John. They have been together for six years and it always looked like each day was brand new to them. They were always finding new ways to surprise each other. Lori loved to flirt with John and he would play coy. Life and love was a game meant to be played by lovers.

  I began to feel like an intruder, always looking for a way to leave the room. Both Lori and John were always assuring me that I was fine and that they wanted me with them.

  Now I was sitting there looking out upon the ocean. I had been debating for the last several hours whether or not to call or text Chase. If I were honest, I really missed him and needed to apologize.

  Sighing and pulling the blackberry out of my bag, I turned it on. I scanned the database, spotted his cell number, and tapped message.

  Jaden: Are you still talking to me?

  I pressed send and waited. It did not take long before the phone pinged.

  Chase: Of course, why wouldn’t I?

  I had come this far, I might as well go all the way.

  Jaden: Because of what I said the last time I saw you.

  I nervously bit my nails.

  Chase: Nothing to worry about. Are you enjoying the island?

  “Is he letting me off the hook?” I questioned aloud.

  Jaden: The Island is beautiful as always.

  I hit send.

  Chase: I hear a ‘but’ in there… are you ok?

  Dare I tell him the truth? I was so confused, but at least he was still talking to me. I looked at the clock. Shouldn’t he be working?

  Jaden: I feel like a third wheel and I am lonely.

  I hit send before I could back out.

  Chase: A beautiful woman like you should never feel lonely. If you were a third wheel, Lori and John would not have asked you there. Happy late birthday, Jaden.

  “He said I was beautiful,” I whispered in amazement as a smile formed on my lips and an idea. I had watched Lori flirt so much this trip, should I try? Would he mind? Would I ever understand men?

  Jaden: Maybe if you had come like planned, I wouldn’t be lonely.

  I hit send and waited as my stomach turned.

  Chase: Are you flirting with me Jaden?

  My smile grew, as I felt a little bolder.

  Jaden: What are you going to do about it if I am?

  Chase: Do you want me to come?

  Did I? Since we came early, there was still several days left. In fact, I did not have to go back until it was time to start work. Before I could back out, I typed back.

  Jaden: If I said yes, would you?

  Chase: Yes, always.

  Jaden: You would drop what you are doing just for me?

  Chase: I would move Heaven and Hell just to be near you Jaden.

  My breath caught. My mind was flying in different directions. I did not know which end was up. “Can I trust?” I questioned. “Can I trust me? Trust that I won’t do a repeat of the other night? Would he leave again if I do?”

  Jaden: Yes

  I hit send before I could think about it anymore. Lori was always telling me I thought too much, I needed to feel. Chase had said the same thing. “Maybe it is about time I live, really live,” I said and the phone pinged.

  Chase: I will be there in six hours.

  Then the phone pinged again.

  Chase: I have missed you too baby.

  My heart swelled as the tears pushed against the back of my eyes. I needed to talk to Lori and John.

  I bolted down the stairs and into the living room as fear started to claim me. John and Lori were sitting on the deck enjoying the afternoon sun.

  “You’re not a third wheel,” John said without looking at me. “Have a seat, join us.”

  “Chase will be here in six hours,” I announced and their heads snapped around utter surprise in their eyes. “I need help.”

  “Why?” Lori asked.

  I shrugged. “I asked him to come,” I admitted. “I guess I missed him.” My cell pinged.

  Chase: Takin
g off now. See you soon.

  I smiled as some of the fear vanished.

  “Seeing as we don’t have much time,” John said smiling, “What do you need help with?”

  I felt my skin flush as I continued to look at the screen. “I need to learn how to flirt, be sexy, and I need to know what turns a man on,” I answered.

  “Wow, that’s a major turn around,” Lori said. “Are you sure you’re ready for all that?”

  “Looks like you ladies will be going shopping,” John laughed.

  I looked up. “You’re coming too John,” I said. “I need a guy’s view, only if that’s ok with you Lori.”

  Lori’s brows creased. “I’m not sure how I feel about my boyfriend looking at my best friend,” she said. “But in the name of love, I’ll live with it.” She smiled.

  I smiled too. “Thank you,” I said.

  “Let us get dressed and we’ll go, ok?” Lori asked and I nodded.

  A few hours later, I was sitting on the deck, sipping a strawberry daiquiri watching the sunset. There was soft music playing. Lori and John took the boat out for the night to give Chase and I some alone time.

  The day had gone by in a blur of short dresses, bikinis, lacy underwear, and the do’s and don’ts of sexiness.

  John had said, “The sexiest thing a woman can do, is be herself. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who is confident in herself and her man.”

  This piece of advice scared me. I did not know who I was and I sure as hell was not confident.

  I heard the door open and the sound of someone walking through the entry. The fear I had shaken returned and I closed my eyes.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Doubt

  I was nervously siting on my private jet. I had been very surprised when Jaden sent me a text. I did not think I would hear from her until she started work.

  I was equally surprised when she started to flirt with me. I had been missing her, but I made a promise to give her time. So why was I flying out to be with her? Simple, she had asked me too.