Half to Death

by Robin Alexander

  Deb and Angel weren’t due to arrive until eight thirty, and as planned, Jade and I arrived early, so we could discuss, as Marty said, “what not to say to Deb.” Marty and Jade seemed to hit it off the minute they met, but then again, Marty had that effect on people. She was so open and friendly that everyone fell under her charm, and Jade was no exception.

  We gathered in the living room, and after some small talk, Miranda got down to business. “Sloan, Marty and I have been talking about something, and we’d like your take on it.” She looked over at Jade. “I’m sorry that your first visit with us might be a tense one. Sloan said she’s told you about the situation with Deb. We’re not gossiping about her. We’re worried, and we’re trying to help.”

  Jade nodded. “I understand.”

  Miranda looked back at me. “Marty and I think you should touch Angel. I think it’s the best way to find out what she knows without offending her and making a difficult situation worse.”

  I wasn’t prepared for the request. “I don’t know.” I looked at Jade and wondered what was going through her head.

  “Sloan, this is a gift,” Miranda said. “I know you don’t feel that way, but you can use this to help someone we care a lot about. We don’t want to know what you see, but if you can figure out Angel’s feelings on this, we’ll know if we have an ally or not.”

  “Deb’s fiercely protective about her situation,” Marty said. “She won’t even come close to discussing it. We’re at an impasse, and I don’t know what else to do.”

  We never had a chance to discuss it further. There was a knock on the door, then we heard Deb’s voice. “Hello, we’re here.”

  Marty stood and greeted them warmly with hugs. Deb’s gaze moved to Miranda, and I watched them stare at each other before moving in for a big hug. It appeared that Deb had forgiven. Jade and I stood, and I moved around the coffee table, hoping to put a barrier between Deb and me. I introduced her to Jade, and Deb gave her a quick hug. Deb made a move toward me. I knew she was going to hug me, and I made a split-second decision.

  Through her eyes, I saw her dressing and how she layered on clothes to hide weight loss that was even more profound than the last time I’d peeked into her mind. She hoped that we wouldn’t notice. She hoped that dinner wasn’t heavy. She hoped that Angel wouldn’t hear her in the downstairs bathroom after dinner as she pulled on another shirt.

  When she released me, I smiled and backed away. I turned and took two purposeful steps toward Angel, and I hugged her tightly. She was lying on her side, holding Deb as she slept. She could feel the sharpness of Deb’s hip bone beneath her fingertips. The feel of it sickened me. It had been ages since they’d made love, Angel thought. She sighed softly as she wondered what to do about Deb’s secretive ways. What could she say? Could their relationship withstand her betrayal of confiding in another?

  I feigned a coughing fit and slipped into the bathroom to compose myself when Angel released me. I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered how I could possess such information and not do something about it. I just didn’t know what that something should be.

  “Are you all right?” Jade asked softly when I walked back into the room.

  Miranda had Deb and Angel in the kitchen fixing drinks. Jade and Marty stared at me with worried expressions. I shook my head. “No, I’m not. It’s not good.”

  Marty put a hand to her chest and exhaled loudly before joining the others in the kitchen.

  Jade walked over and stood directly in front of me, blocking the view of the others if they returned. “You need to go back in the bathroom and wash your face with cool water. It’s very flushed. She reached out slowly, giving me time to prepare for her touch and stroked my cheek. “While you’re in there, take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly. Try to push the thoughts from your mind because it’s very obvious that you’re upset.”

  “Come with me.”

  Jade looked over her shoulder. “To the bathroom?”

  “If I’m still flushed when we come out, they’ll think we were kissing or something. They’ll tease me, but Deb and Angel won’t suspect something’s wrong.” I turned and Jade followed behind me. When she closed the door, I sagged against the counter and folded my arms across my chest. “Jade, I can’t tell you what I saw, but it’s worse.”

  Jade’s face showed compassion as she reached up slowly and stroked my hair. “Sometimes we have to hide our emotions. Put this in a box and shove it into the back of your mind for later. For tonight, recall a happy thought and focus on that.” A slight smile moved across her face. “If it were me, I’d dwell on our day on the coast.”

  I couldn’t help but smile then.

  “Where do they keep the washcloths?”

  I pointed to the cabinet behind her. Jade opened it and took one out. She ran water over it and wringed it out before holding it to my cheek. “It’s just like acting, Sloan. Go out there and play your part.”

  She moved the cloth to my other cheek, and I wondered how many times she’d coached herself that way and why.

  *******

  We did take some ribbing when we joined the others, and Jade played it up, taking the pressure off me. “We…um…will pay for the damages to your bathroom. I hope you have two. If not, everyone might want to consider the gas station down the street.” She looked at me with a mischievous smile. “I had no idea you were that acrobatic.”

  “Oh,” Angel pointed at Jade, “she’s going to fit in perfectly with this group. You better hang on to her, Sloan.”

  I winked at Jade. “I plan to.”

  Over dinner, we discussed the plans for the party. We’d have it at Marty and Miranda’s since their place was the biggest. Deb volunteered to send the invitations and supply half the liquor. Miranda, Marty, and I would take care of the food and decorations. We picked a date according to Lonna’s work schedule, and our surprise was planned.

  “So, Jade, how’d you and Sloan meet?” Angel asked as if she didn’t already know.

  “I’m a personal trainer at the gym. Sloan and Miranda aren’t my clients, but I try to help whip them into shape anyway.”

  “Whip is right,” Miranda said with a groan. “She developed an exercise plan for us that’s a killer. Don’t get me started on the diet.”

  “Well, Sloan looks no worse for wear,” Deb said with a smile. “She must be into pain.”

  “It’s not as bad as Miranda makes it sound. She’s just a weenie.”

  Miranda wadded up her napkin and threw it at me. “All right, Ms. Leg Cramp, keep it up.”

  “Oh, I get those a lot,” Deb said. “Especially when I run, they’re excruciating.”

  “Hydration and nutrition are key to avoiding those. Protein is essential for someone who is working out or doing strenuous labor,” Jade said. “I tell my clients to drink at least sixteen ounces of water and a low sugar sports drink before they come in for a workout.” Jade draped her arm over the back of my chair. “I can tell who is following the diet plan by the way they perform. If they’re face down on the mat in the first ten minutes, I know they’re not fueling their bodies.”

  “What’s on the diet plan?” Deb asked.

  “Low sugar because it hypes you up for a short time but doesn’t provide fuel that muscle needs. Chicken and fish are the main meats, but the plan does allow red in moderation. You can have all the beans you want, but that tends to cause some embarrassment for some,” she said with a grin. “Spinach and broccoli are good, too, all of which makes you gaseous, hence the embarrassment.”

  I looked at Miranda and laughed. Aside from cutlery, she had nothing else to throw. Marty moved her fork just in case.

  “I’ll be happy to share the plan with you if you want,” Jade said, looking at Deb.

  “I’d really appreciate that.” Deb flashed a look at Miranda, and I felt the muscles in my stomach tighten.

  Marty quickly changed the subject. “Has anyone considered what we’re going to get Lonna and Paige as wedding presents? I
mean, we can’t go with the norm. They’re already living together, so housewares are out.”

  “Sex toys,” Miranda and I said in unison and laughed.

  “That really is a good idea,” Deb said with a grin. “We could have a lot of fun with that.”

  Marty the methodical turned a fresh page in her notebook. “So who’s getting what? We don’t all wanna show up with strap-ons.”

  I flushed and cast a sideways glance at Jade. She was smiling back at me, seemingly enjoying my embarrassment.

  “Oh! I call the strap-on,” Deb said. She looked at Angel. “You can handle the dildo, can’t you, baby?”

  A chorus of “ohs” went around the table as one of Angel’s dark eyebrows rose.

  Marty pointed at Deb with her pen. “You are so sleeping on the couch tonight!”

  “I saw a sexy cop uniform the other day. Really kinky,” Miranda said. “I call that.”

  “And where exactly did you see such a thing?” Marty asked, looking at her.

  Miranda shrugged nonchalantly. “At Sloan’s store.”

  Everyone looked at me, including Jade. I raised my hands. “She’s full of shit.”

  “Actually, I saw it in a magazine at the station.” Miranda winked at me. “And what will you be bringing?”

  “I dunno.”

  Everyone at the table guffawed. “Don’t sit there in front of your new girlfriend and act all puritanical,” Deb said with a laugh. “We all know your reputation.”

  “Expand on that please,” Jade said with a smile.

  “I’ll bring vibrators and lubes,” I said loudly before anyone could comment. “And that draws this conversation to a close.”

  *******

  “Do you mind driving” I asked Jade as we walked out to the car.

  “Can I squeal the tires?” She took the keys and batted her eyes.

  “Not in the neighborhood, but you can burn off all the rubber you want when we get on the highway.”

  We were jovial until we were in the privacy of my car. I sank low in the seat and sighed.

  “You did great, Sloan. I’m very proud of you for handling it so well.”

  I ran both hands through my hair. “This is a big problem with Deb, and I have no idea where to start.”

  “You’re right,” Jade said. “I have no idea what you saw tonight, but I did see the effect it had on you. I’d suggest you and Miranda visit a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.” Jade glanced at me. “If you can get Angel to go with you, that’d be better. Let a professional tell you what your next step should be.”

  “All right, I’ll talk to Miranda about that tomorrow. We’ll come up with a plan to talk to Angel, and if she won’t go with us, we’ll do it on our own.”

  Jade came to the main highway and stopped. “Are you tired?”

  “No, but I don’t have to get up as early as you do.”

  Instead of making a right, which would’ve taken us home, she went left. “I have something I want to show you. Since you’ve lived here all your life, you’ve probably already been there.”

  I had no idea where she was taking me, but I was willing to go.

  “Like I said, I haven’t done a lot of exploring, but I did find this place one night when I had a lot on my mind.” She turned off the highway and I grinned.

  “I know exactly where you’re taking me.” The road ended at the bay in a small parking area a couple of yards from the water. There were no lights, but I could hear the waves lapping gently at the shore when she killed the engine.

  Jade inhaled deeply, then let out a contented sigh. “Just listen to that.”

  “Let’s get out and sit on the hood. It’s a clear night, maybe we’ll luck out and see a shooting star.” Jade was a bit hesitant to get on my car, but when I climbed up and leaned my back against the windshield, she did the same albeit more carefully. The heat of the engine warmed my legs, making me feel like I was in a cozy nest. When Jade settled next to me, I felt my cares drift away on the breeze. Overhead, the night sky was filled with what looked like a billion stars. I tucked my hands behind my head and decided to bask in the moment. “This was a brilliant idea.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t mind coming.” Jade seemed to be as content as I was.

  “Tell me something about you. Anything.” I looked over at her.

  She was thoughtful for a moment. “When I was a little girl, we moved to a house in the country, and there was a field next door full of wildflowers about waist high. I used to walk through it and pretend it was the ocean. I’d get down on my knees and imagine that I was looking at beds of coral like the ones I’d seen on TV.” She laughed. “A child’s imagination is limitless. I think now, if I walked through that field, all I would think about were the bugs and the itchiness of the weeds. I probably wouldn’t go into it at all.” She looked at me. “Your turn. Tell me about a childhood memory.”

  “I made the coolest clubhouse out of a wisteria bush. There was no telling how old that thing was. They’re really vines, but this had never been tended and sat out in the middle of the yard with nothing to climb, so it wound around itself. I took a piece of plywood and tossed it in the middle of the bush. Then I climbed up on it, and as long as I stayed down, I was completely hidden. It was my secret spot until I spotted Colin trying to whittle something out of a piece of wood. I climbed down unseen and gathered a handful of rocks. I hit him like four times before he spotted me.”

  Jade laughed. “How old were you?”

  “Probably around seven. He wasn’t allowed to have a pocket knife until he was fifteen, and he’d managed to trade his binoculars for one. I threatened to tell if he didn’t leave me alone. Apparently, my threat had little effect. He wanted to beat my ass, but he was too big to crawl through the vines. I ended up staying there half of the afternoon until Mom called us for dinner.”

  “You were mischievous then?”

  “Very, though most of it was directed at my brother. Poor boy, no wonder he doesn’t keep in touch much. After I met Miranda, I had a new target, but she was as bad as I was. I learned early on that she was far more skilled. I bet you weren’t, though. You were probably an angelic child.”

  Jade’s sigh was carried off in the breeze. “I’m sure I had my moments, but that seems like ancient history.”

  “You’re not that old.”

  “You’re trying to get me to admit how old I am, aren’t you?” Jade chuckled but said nothing else.

  “Wanna hear me sing? It’s really bad. Dogs usually howl when they hear it, and birds drop from the sky. I bet I don’t even get through the first verse of the country song I wrote before you’re screaming out your age.”

  “Thirty-six. I’ll take your word for it. And you’re still mischievous.”

  A cool breeze blew in off the water, and I shivered. “Are you cold?”

  “Yeah, it’s getting a bit nippy and probably late. Are you ready?” She laid my keys on my thigh.

  “I know we have to go,” I said regretfully. I hopped down and was surprised to hear Jade behind me as her shoes shuffled over the asphalt.

  I was about to turn and ask if she wanted to drive when I heard her say, “I want to kiss you.”

  I turned slowly. All I could make out was her figure in the darkness. “Did you just say you wanted—”

  “To kiss you, yes.”

  My heart started to pound. “I hate to take the romance and spontaneity out of this moment, but,” I opened the car door and moved behind it, “I don’t know what full body contact and a kiss would do to me. I mean, I would love that, but I don’t want to mess up…I probably wouldn’t be able to think about anything else but what that feels like because I’ve wanted for so long to—”

  “You really do ramble when you’re nervous.” Jade moved closer and put her hands on the door frame.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I’ve dreamed about this moment since the day you touched my hand and gave me hope that I might be able to experience...more.” I
shivered again, but this time, it wasn’t caused by the cool evening breeze.

  Very slowly, she reached over and stroked the back of my hand. “Don’t apologize. It means you care. I should’ve admitted this before.” She licked her lips. “I like that we have to take it slow. I think too often people end up in bed together, then later realize all they have between them is the physical attraction.”

  I swallowed hard. “I’d still like that kiss. Can you give me a second to just…close my eyes and focus?”

  “Yeah, I’ll give you a couple.”

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on the pounding in my ears. My heart was racing in anticipation, then I felt the lightest touch against my lips. She pulled away slightly and met me again. I wanted to feel her body press into mine, but there was something so sensual about that kiss. The only thing I could physically feel besides the door that I had a death grip on was the softness of her lips, the caress of her tongue. The sweetest kiss I had ever received was also the hottest, and it burned through me like fire.

  “Slow is a good thing, right?” I said with a nervous laugh when she pulled away. Her emotions echoed through my mind— joy, excitement, desire.

  “I thought so until a moment ago.” Jade took two awkward steps back, tripping over her own feet. She disappeared into the darkness, then I heard the passenger door open. I climbed into the car and looked at her. Jade’s expression was one part bewilderment and the other slight amusement. My gaze trailed down to the flush creeping up her neck and along her jaw. “Wow” was all she said.

  “Yeah.”

  I pushed the Mustang to her limits on the way back to the gym. Jade grabbed a hold of the door handle and looked at me. “Are you in a hurry?”

  “Yes, because when we get to the gym, I’m gonna kiss you again.”

  Chapter 17

  The next morning when my alarm clock went off, I awoke with a smile. I pressed my fingers to my lips, reveling in the memories of Jade’s kisses.

  With the center console of my car acting as a barrier between us, I filled my hands with her hair and pulled her as close as I could. Both of us were breathing heavily like two teenagers who had never had a moment alone as we made out. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as we steamed up the windows. My heart ached with a sweet loneliness that I’d never experienced as I watched her climb into that old truck. My lips felt bruised and chapped as I ran my fingers over them. “So this is what it’s like to be totally smitten,” I said aloud in the darkness.