Half to Death

by Robin Alexander

  “That’s okay. We have enough daylight to get back, plus we get to see the show.”

  She looked at me in question.

  “We get to watch the sunset on our walk.”

  She looked at me for a long moment and smiled. “Thank you again for sharing this with me.”

  I could smell the sea and Jade’s sweet scent intermingled. It moved over my skin like a caress. We wouldn’t hold hands on the walk back. There would be no kiss good night, but in that moment with her standing there smiling at me backlit by the setting sun, it was enough. We had connected, and it was sweeter and more exciting than any encounter I’d ever had.

  Chapter 15

  My headlights illuminated Jade’s truck. I hated the thought of separating. We could’ve sat in that parking lot and looked at the stars all night without saying a word, and I would’ve been thrilled.

  “Sloan,” Jade said softly. “Do you…consider this a date?”

  “I would love to think of it that way, but if friendship is all you have to offer, I’ll take it.”

  A smiled played at the corners of her mouth, then her expression turned serious. “Do you honestly think you’ll be able…to touch without…”

  “I’ve come a long way. I feel pretty safe in saying that I could touch your hand right now and stay in control, but it’s going to come down to you trusting me. I’m willing to wait for as long as that takes.”

  She stared down at her hand in her lap. I held my breath as she slowly raised it. She was staring deep into my eyes as I lifted my hand. They were a breath apart, and I could feel the heat radiating off her palm.

  If someone had told me a year before that I would be sitting in my car waiting for a woman to simply touch my hand, I would’ve laughed. But in that moment, I wanted nothing more to feel her hand against mine. Jade slowly let her palm rest against mine. I smiled and felt her fingers clasp the back of my hand. We sat there for a long moment just looking at each other until she released me.

  “Thank you,” I said on a sigh.

  “What did you focus on to keep your mind occupied?”

  “Your eyes and the softness of your skin.”

  She climbed out of the car and leaned into the window. “I think that…was sweeter than a kiss.”

  And then she was gone.

  *******

  “I thought you didn’t like holding my hand.”

  “I love you, but I really don’t.” I held her hand tightly in mine as I dragged Miranda with me while we restocked my shelves.

  “I can’t believe she trusted you enough to touch hands on the first date,” Miranda said seriously.

  I straightened and grinned. “That sounds so…antiquated.”

  “But it’s monumental for you and Jade.” Miranda scratched the back of her neck with her free hand. “I spent the whole day wondering what it would be like if Marty had your thing. Since the night you let her cat out of the bag, we’ve been really open, but if she could do what you do, I wonder what she could pull from my mind and what she’d think. Would she be disappointed in me knowing that I cheated on my emergency medical tech exam?”

  “You did?”

  Miranda nodded slowly. “Somebody gave me an old copy of the written portion of the test, and I used it as a study guide. That’s cheating.”

  “Well, it wasn’t the actual test.”

  “Rationalize how you want to. In my heart, I cheated.”

  I shook my head. “You had perfect scores all through that course. You could’ve passed that test with your eyes closed.”

  Miranda raised her free hand and let it drop. “Anxiety. Anyway, my point is that you’re gonna have to be very careful to build Jade’s trust. From what you told me about your date, she took a big step.”

  “Yeah, she did,” I said with a nod. “She told me that it was sweeter than a kiss. It was. I’ve gone on dates, and the next time we went out, we were in bed. I’ve gone from that to being excited about the touch of her hand in mine.” I took a step toward the storeroom and Miranda planted her feet. I turned and looked when she wouldn’t budge. “What?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look like you do now. It sounds trite, but you’re kinda glowing.”

  “Now you’re embarrassing me.” I tried to shake my hand loose, but Miranda tightened her grip.

  “You’re so cute,” she said with a laugh.

  “Feel free to stop right now.”

  She tugged her cell phone out of her pocket. “I’m gonna take a picture.”

  “Let me go.” I twisted my hand, jerked it free, and took off.

  Miranda chased me through the store yelling, “Hold still.”

  I was laughing like a fool when I came face to face with Jade. She looked at me, then Miranda, who was still staring at her camera. “Pose for me, little lovebird. You know you want…uh, hey, Jade.”

  “Hey, Miranda,” she said with an amused smile. “Am I interrupting training?”

  “Nah, she’s getting ready to graduate, and I wanted to take her picture.”

  I stuck my hands in the back pockets of my jeans to resist touching her. “Actually, you just saved me from being tormented. How’d you get away from the gym?”

  “One of my clients didn’t show, so I scored a very short lunch break. I wanted to buy a couple of those fishnets for my shells.”

  “Oh, they’re over here, come see.” She followed me to the shelf, and I pulled out a few. “Some are colored and some aren’t. Those look more real to me.”

  “Hey,” Miranda said, causing Jade and me to look at her. I heard the shutter sound her phone made when it took a picture. “I’ll send you both a copy.” I glared at Miranda, and she turned and went toward the counter. “It’s a cute picture.”

  Jade looked back at me, and I rolled my eyes. “She’s insane. It’s one of the reasons I love her.”

  Jade laughed and pointed to one of the nets in my hands. “I think I like the ones without color. I’ll take two, but I’m buying them.”

  I lowered my voice, so Miranda couldn’t hear and invariably comment. “Since we’re dating, they’re a gift.”

  “If you feel that way about it, I want the wicker chair in the corner,” Jade said softly with a smile.

  “It’s yours. I’ll have Miranda load it into the back of your truck.”

  “I was joking.”

  “You should tell her you want the matching sofa,” Miranda called out. “But it’s gonna take all three of us to load it.”

  Jade laughed out loud. “Just the nets, and I can load those myself.”

  “I know you’re always hungry. Want to come out back and have lunch?” I asked.

  “I can’t.” Jade looked at her watch. “I’d really love to, but I can’t stay that long.”

  “How about a doggie bag? She’s gonna make me eat a casserole that’s been in her fridge for two days. I’d like to get rid of it. Thank God, I have to go back to work tomorrow,” Miranda called out again.

  I leaned in close but kept from touching Jade. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “You suck, Sloan,” Miranda said.

  “Shut up, you.” I looked at Jade again. “I made fresh chicken salad this morning. Two stray cats ate the rest of the casserole. Would you like a sandwich to eat on the way?”

  “Since you insist.”

  “I do.” It was the most natural thing in the world to put my hand out for her to take. She hesitated, and I realized what I’d done. I tried to pull it back when she grabbed it. “Thanks for trusting me,” I said with a smile that she returned.

  Miranda’s jaw sagged when we rounded the corner, then she clapped. “Oh, you really did graduate today.”

  “Come on, I have chicken salad,” I said to her with a grin. She fell in step behind us.

  I sent Jade back to work with a sandwich, chips, and a bottle of water. She was thrilled, and so was I.

  “I cannot believe you held her hand, and she let you!” Miranda exclaimed.

  “Me e
ither.” We jumped around my kitchen like two kids who had just been told they were going to Disney World.

  Miranda scrubbed her face with both hands. “That was worth you holding my hand all morning. Now the next step is the kiss.”

  “I’m not kissing you, don’t worry.”

  “Oh, come on.” Miranda puckered her lips as she walked toward me. “It’s for science.”

  I ran.

  *******

  I had a shipment arrive late at the store, and by the time everything was moved into the storeroom, our gym time was gone. Even though I got to see Jade a little while at lunch, I was disappointed. Miranda took pity on me and suggested we go anyway, but I knew Marty was waiting on her and I was hungry.

  I’d bought a couple of steaks I intended to grill for Miranda and me. As I stood staring into the fridge, an idea came to mind. I sent Jade a text and told her that I’d wait on her if she wanted to stop by for dinner. While I waited for her response, I made myself a promise that I’d be at the gym every night that week working off such a late dinner if she accepted. She did.

  She arrived at nine thirty with a bottle of red wine tucked under her arm. She held it up when I opened the door. “I figure since we’re blowing our diet, we should do it right. Besides, red wine is healthy now and then.” She opened the bottle and poured the wine while I put the steaks on the grill. We sat outside on my tiny patio and enjoyed the evening. “Have you been drunk since your accident?” she asked.

  I thought for a minute. “I had a drink at Miranda’s one night. That’s as close as I’ve come. Are you worried?”

  “No. I just wondered what effect it had on you.”

  “Well, if I keep drinking on an empty stomach, we’ll find out. A friend of mine is a cop. I can get her to drop off a pair of cuffs to keep me in line.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “You don’t have to do that.” A moment of silence went by. “I have a pair in my truck anyway.” My eyes bugged, and Jade threw back her head and laughed. “You’re so easy.”

  “You’re as bad as Miranda. I’m taking the kid gloves off with you.” I stood and flipped the steaks, then reclaimed my seat beside her. “What TV shows do you like? Or do you ever have time to watch any?”

  “I don’t have a TV. If I did, I’d never have a chance to turn it on.”

  “How do you spend your spare time?”

  Jade stretched her long legs. “I read a lot. History fascinates me, and I enjoy mysteries and intrigue.”

  “Mom, or Momma Donahue rather, was a big-time reader. I got my first library card with her. She took Miranda and me smelling like two wet dogs because we had been building a tree house. I still remember picking out my first book and the way it smelled just like the library.”

  “You never did that with your real mom?” Jade asked tentatively.

  “No, she was always working to take care of my brother and me as a single parent. Saturday nights were ours, though. She’d take us to the movies. We’d sneak in snacks because we couldn’t afford to buy them at the theater.” I was silent for a moment as I thought about her. Those movie nights were just about all I could remember. “My brother always balked because he had to watch kid movies, he’s older than me.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “We just drifted apart. He was in the military for a long time, then he just wandered.” I shook my head. “I have no idea what he does for a living. Sometimes, he just shows up. That’s how I got the car. He bought it on the spur of the moment and realized he couldn’t afford it, even though it was used. I took over his note, and he left on the bus never saying where he was going.” I looked at Jade. “Do you have siblings?”

  “No, I was an only child.”

  “Must’ve been hard on you losing your parents,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t upset her.

  She stared at her feet for a long time. “It was, and one day, maybe I’ll tell you about it.”

  I took that as my cue to stay clear of that topic until she was ready. “How’s Guy?”

  She tossed her head to the side to move the hair from her eyes. “He’s discovered the springy door stops on the baseboards. Last night around three, he played me a tune.”

  “How very creative and kind of him to share his music.”

  “I told him the same thing, though not in those words, and I punctuated with a pillow. I awoke to it again at five, and we had coffee,” she said with a smile.

  “He takes it with a lot of cream, I presume.”

  “No, black. I got out of the shower and found him with his face in my cup.”

  I laughed while I summoned my courage. “Marty has been talking to our friend Deb. She’s the one I told you about who tossed us out of her house. She’s agreed to have dinner with us tomorrow night at Miranda’s. We’re getting together around eight. Would you like to come with me if you can get off early?” I started rambling, certain that she would say no. “It’s nothing special, just burgers. If you can’t, I understand. I don’t wanna cause you problems on your—”

  “You ramble when you’re nervous.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Yes.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You’re agreeing that I’m sorry, or are you saying you’ll go?”

  With a straight face, she said, “You’ll figure it out tomorrow night at seven forty-five.”

  I grinned as I got up to check the steaks.

  *******

  “Are you sure this is okay?” Jade stretched her legs out and rested her feet on the coffee table, mimicking my pose.

  I finished chewing a piece of steak and nodded. “Don’t you put your feet on yours?”

  “Don’t have one. No TV, no point.”

  “Speaking of,” I picked up the remote, “wanna watch?”

  She shook her head and smiled. “No, I want you to tell me about your friends.”

  I tossed the remote on the couch. “Well, there’s Miranda and her partner, Marty. Deb’s girlfriend is Angel, then there’s Lonna and Paige, but they won’t be there tomorrow night. We’re planning a party reception thing for them because they recently sneaked off and got married.”

  Jade stabbed at her salad. “I’m looking forward to meeting them. They probably have stories to tell.”

  “And they’ll all be before my accident. I’m not that woman anymore, so consider that when they start yapping because they will at the slightest provocation.”

  “I think it’d be interesting to hear about the old Sloan. Will there be pictures?” she asked with an evil grin.

  “Oh, please, don’t go there. Miranda has stacks of albums. It’s not a pretty sight.” I shivered at the thought.

  Jade took a sip of her wine. “You have nothing to worry about. I like the new Sloan. I can’t imagine anything they might say or show me will change that.”

  I felt a flush rise up from my neck. Her words thrilled me. I continued eating with a smile.

  *******

  Once the dishes were put away, Jade got ready to leave. I wanted so much to ask her to stay. Just sleeping next to her, not even touching, would’ve been a dream. When we were apart, I thought about her endlessly, and when we were together, I didn’t want it to end.

  “Thank you for dinner.” She was standing by the door looking awkward, and I was fairly certain like me she didn’t know how to bring our evening to a close.

  “Can I hug you?” I asked.

  She tilted her head and smiled. “Can you?”

  “I promise to pull away if I can’t control myself.” That statement had dual connotations because once I had her in my arms, I wasn’t sure I could let go.

  She grinned for a second, then her expression turned serious. “I trust you.” She swallowed, and her voice sounded raspy. “I haven’t been able to say that to many people.” She opened her arms, and I rushed in.

  Her body molded perfectly with mine and felt so warm and soft. I closed my eyes and pushed all thought from my mind and dwelled on what I was feeling.

  “W
hat are my emotions telling you?” she asked nervously.

  “That’s a daring question for someone in your shoes. I don’t know if I would have the courage to ask if the roles were reversed.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist. “You feel…joy, warmth…like you belong right here.” I wanted to cry because that was exactly what I felt.

  “Do you feel the same?” She pushed me back gently and looked me in the eye. I couldn’t speak, and I knew she saw the tears forming. I nodded. She pulled me back in and held me for a moment. I felt her reluctance to let me go. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow night,” she said as she backed away and opened the door.

  I watched her go with a sad smile. I thought I understood then what Miranda was saying about the precipice. I was on the edge, and I knew she was, too. And in that moment, I accepted that I had been given an extraordinary gift…in more ways than one.

  Chapter 16

  At seven fifty, Jade walked out of the gym wearing a deep green T-shirt and a pair of tan cargo shorts. She looked magnificent. The dark green brought out the color in her eyes. I stared at her a minute or two when she got in my car.

  “What?” she asked when I didn’t immediately drive off.

  “You’re stunning.”

  “I was thinking the same about you. Sometimes, I forget to say what I’m thinking. She looked at my shorts and T-shirt. “You look lovely tonight, but do you know when I find you most attractive?”

  I shook my head.

  She grinned. “When you’ve just finished working out and your hair is a mess and sticking to your face. It gets really wavy, and your face is flushed…” Her voice trailed off as she looked away. “It’s sexy.”

  “So we’ll be running the air tonight,” I said as I switched it on and rolled up the windows. “You’ve managed to raise the heat index in the car by a hundred degrees.”

  I left the parking lot with the sound of Jade’s laughter and my heart pounding a delightful beat.

  *******