Half to Death

by Robin Alexander

  Miranda looked disappointed as she replaced the paddle. “So you still feel our emotions, but you can stop the memories from flowing into your mind.”

  I watched her warily as she moved along the aisles. “That’s right.”

  “What are you going to do if things really begin to heat up with Jade and she lets you do something crazy like hold her hand? Are you going to be upfront first and tell her that you’ll sense her emotions?”

  “I think hand-holding is a bit ambitious, don’t you think? And I’ve already told her about the emotion thing. She didn’t seem to be rattled. Given our history, I don’t think she’ll be letting me touch her anytime soon.”

  “Sloan, she likes you, and you like her. This relationship is bound to get physical. Let’s experiment. Hold my hand while you work.”

  “I’m not going to hold your hand. I nearly lost a customer the other day when you had your tickle fest.”

  “If someone comes in, we’ll let go.” Miranda held out her hand. “I’m serious, take it.”

  “No.” I turned around and walked off. She met me on the next aisle. “You can’t experiment on her. Take my damn hand.”

  I huffed and took it. We stood there staring at each other with our hands locked. “I feel so stupid, and your fingers are sticky.”

  “Ah!” Miranda held up a finger on her free hand. “See, it’s working. You’re focused on how dumb you feel. Now if you took Jade’s hand, you could focus on the feel of how great it was to connect with her.”

  I felt a grin tugging at my lips. “You’re right. You’re a sticky pain in the ass, but you’re right, and I love you for it.” I squeezed her hand tightly in mine and reveled in the warmth of it.

  *******

  On Saturday morning, I sprang out of bed like a kid on Christmas Day. I sang in the shower and dressed with lightning speed. I had visions of Jade and me flying down the highway with our hair blowing in the breeze, and I couldn’t wait. With my sunglasses poised on top of my head and a bag full of towels and sunscreen hanging on my shoulder, I looked up at the clock—it was only ten. “Aw, shit.” I had no idea what I was going to do for the next two hours.

  *******

  Promptly at noon, I pulled into the gym parking lot and waited. Jade emerged five minutes later wearing a tank top and a pair of red board shorts. She was grinning from ear to ear, and so was I.

  “I love this car,” she said as she climbed in.

  “I’ll let you drive it if you want, but you won’t be able to look at it as much.”

  She seemed to consider the offer for a minute and declined.

  We rolled the windows down, and a warm wind filled the car. Over the noise, Jade told me about her morning and the latest gift that Guy had given her—a half-eaten moth on her bed. But when we began down the coast, she quieted.

  I glanced her way a few times, and her gaze was fixed on the water through my window. Every now and then, she’d comment on something she saw like a fish jumping or a piece of driftwood caught on a sandbar. And she’d smile a genuine smile that transformed her face and let me know she was truly enjoying herself.

  Miranda and I had made this trip often, and as close as we were, she didn’t seem to enjoy it like I did. The beauty of the water slipping behind groves of trees only to reappear again in all its glory failed to take her breath away like it did mine. It did for Jade, though. I watched her as often as I could and took great pleasure at how her eyes would widen or how she’d exclaim when she noticed a dolphin.

  I sank lower in my seat, so she could have a full view of something that had always been a precious wonder to me. The slow realization swept over me like the tide as it moved the water to the beach. I wasn’t planning my next move, nor did I wonder what the end of the day would bring. I was perfectly content to embrace every second, every sight, and savor the blissful connection with Jade as we shared something we loved.

  “Can we stop and walk out on one of those sandbars?” she asked.

  “Um, there’s an old hotel just up ahead. We can use their parking lot and hike back a little ways.”

  “You mind doing that?” Jade stared through my window.

  “Not at all,” I said with a grin. I glanced back at her, and her gaze was set upon me. She looked pleased and extremely happy.

  I parked and we walked through the brush until we could get onto the sand. One of the things I appreciated about this stretch of road was that the highway department saw fit to leave the thickets. It made me feel like the area was wild and untamed, waiting to be explored. The narrow slip of beach widened, and we took off our shoes to feel the sand beneath our feet. Jade was like a child and raced past me to the sandbar she’d spotted. In some places, it was submerged in a foot of water, and she would wade across it to get to one shell or another.

  “Beach rules are you can keep a shell if it’s uninhabited.” Jade looked back at me in question as a tiny claw reached out and brushed her finger. I laughed as she jumped and dropped it into the water. “That was a hermit crab. He was saying hello.”

  “I think it was more like ‘unhand my house.’” Jade and I watched the little claws come of out the shell and move it farther away. “Do they pinch hard?”

  I reached down and picked the shell up again, and the crab disappeared inside. “No, but the larger crabs do. If you hold this guy real still, he’ll come back out.” I demonstrated, and we watched as his face and claws reappeared.

  “You think I gave him a head injury or something when I dropped him?” Jade asked, wrinkling her nose.

  “Nah, he hit the water. He probably sees more action when he gets rolled by a big wave.”

  “What makes you think it’s a guy?” Jade asked.

  “Look at his shell.” I pointed to the barnacles. “A woman wouldn’t get caught dead in this, and she certainly wouldn’t wear white before Easter.”

  Jade smiled and wrinkled her nose at my dumb joke.

  After Jade had thoroughly investigated the sandbar and collected more shells than we both could carry, we went back to the car and deposited them in the trunk. I figured by the end of the day, it would smell like a dead mermaid.

  We passed the road to St. George Island after I assured Jade we’d come back and explore it. I wanted her to see Apalachicola, a quaint seaside town with a strip of shops and restaurants. As we climbed from the car, seagulls flew overhead and reminded us that we were still near the water. “You should be hungry by now,” I said as I walked alongside Jade.

  “I’m always hungry, remember?”

  “Good, I know just the place.” I led her to a restaurant and requested to be seated on the balcony. I watched Jade’s face as she read over the menu. She was more relaxed than I’d ever seen her. She’d smile as she looked over the railing at something below, then sip her tea and go back to the menu. We both decided on the seafood bisque and salads.

  “I assume you eat the same way you’ve instructed Miranda and me to eat,” I said when the waiter departed.

  “I do as a matter of habit.”

  “Do you ever break that habit?”

  Jade tilted her head to the side. “I think you’re about to propose something bad.”

  “There’s a store that has a soda fountain. They make marvelous root beer floats.”

  “Well, technically, I’m not your trainer. But even if I was, I’d have to say that a root beer float every now and then is a good thing.”

  I grinned. “Then save room for dessert.”

  Jade’s focus became solely on me. “Thank you for taking me on this adventure. I can’t remember when I’ve had so much fun. I get caught up on my hamster wheel. Home, work, grocery store, repeat.”

  “I know exactly what you mean. I try to make a trip like this once a month.”

  “Ah, so this is how you romanced your women.” Jade raised a brow.

  “You find this romantic?” I asked, afraid that I was treading on thin ice, no pun.

  “Very,” Jade said with a nod. “Dinner and
a movie can’t compare to this.”

  “I know it’s going to disappoint you to hear that I come…alone.”

  Jade grinned. “You’re lying.”

  I wagged a finger at her. “I gave you my word I wouldn’t do that. I do make this trip alone, and I do it often.”

  “Okay, so you haven’t brought all your women here.”

  I shook my head. “The only other woman that’s made this trip with me is Miranda.”

  “What did I do to rank such special treatment?” she asked lightly.

  “I don’t think you believe me when I tell you that I really like you.” I met her gaze.

  Her expression turned serious. “What exactly do you like about me?”

  “You’re compassionate and caring, even though you haven’t been on the receiving end of that very often.” I paused, hoping I hadn’t said too much, but she looked receptive. “I can’t really explain why I’m so drawn to you, but it’s not just your looks. There’s just something special about you, and I want to know more.”

  Jade opened her mouth to say something when the waiter appeared with our salads. I tried to gauge how she was feeling, but her expression was unreadable. We ate for a few minutes in silence before she picked the conversation back up. “I like you too, Sloan. We’ve had a rough start, and I have to thank Miranda for jumping in and explaining a lot that I didn’t understand.” She looked embarrassed. “I could’ve let you explain, but I felt like I was made of glass the night you told me what you were able to do.”

  “Can we make a deal?” I set my fork down. She looked at me in question. “For now, can we stop analyzing why we like each other and just accept it as so?”

  “Deal.” She reached over with her fork, and I picked mine up and tapped it against hers. “That’s as good as a pinky swear,” I said with a laugh.

  *******

  We strolled down the street window shopping. Jade had an eye for the unique, and if she thought she could, she would’ve dragged me into what looked like an old warehouse. Instead, she waved me on to quickly follow her long stride. When we entered the building, we both let out a long sigh. “This place is so cool,” I said. “I never noticed it on my visits.” If it had been on a boat or a ship, it was there.

  Jade was running her hand over an old maritime chart when I walked up.

  “Do you know how to read these by any chance?”

  “No, do you?”

  “Nope, but they really are cool to look at.”

  “Look at these.” Jade picked up a flag from a box. “There’s hundreds of them here from boats and ships. They’re kind of worn. They must’ve really been used.” She ran her fingers over the fabric. “Can you imagine all the places they’ve been?”

  “Look at this.” I pointed to a plaque. “I think this was taken from the actual vessel. The plaque read “Lady Corrine.” “I’ll bet this would look great in your apartment.”

  Jade looked at it for a moment. “That was my grandmother’s name. I was named after her,” she said dreamily.

  “Would you like to have it?”

  Jade shook her head with a smile. “Nah, it’s a want, not a need.”

  She walked off, so I took it down and tucked it under my arm. We parted as she moved deeper into the store looking at the shells in the back. I made a quick trip to the register and paid for the plaque and asked the clerk to hold it at the counter for me while I looked around.

  We met up again at a counter covered in packages of fishnets. “You like these?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I could hang it in the corner of my living room and put all my shells in it.”

  “I have tons of these at my store. I ordered them when I first opened, and I think I may’ve sold a dozen. I’d be happy to give you as many as you want.”

  “I’ll buy a couple. I want to see your store, and it’ll give me a good excuse to come by.”

  “You don’t need an excuse,” I said softly as she walked away.

  *******

  “What’d you buy?” she asked when we walked out.

  “Can’t tell you, it’s a secret.” I grinned at her when she frowned. “I might let you in on it after a root beer float.”

  We meandered toward the soda fountain…well, I did. Jade darted from one window front to the next, taking in everything. When we got to the shop I was looking for, I held the door open, and Jade walked through with a grin. She looked at all the old candies and toys, running her fingers over everything. “It’s like being in a Norman Rockwell painting.”

  “It does make you feel like you’ve gone back in time, at least until you get to the back of the shop where the souvenirs are.”

  The place was kind of crowded, so we got our floats to go. We’d circled the strip twice before we decided to head to St. George Island. This time, Jade accepted my offer and took the wheel. She let out a yell when I told her to stomp it and she did.

  “Do you think it’s funny that you and Miranda both turned out to be gay?” she asked when we were flying down the highway again.

  “Not really. I think we both recognized a kindred spirit when we met and became friends.” I shook my head and laughed at the memory. “I took one look at her cut-off shorts and football jersey, and I knew she would be fun.”

  “Was there ever a romantic connection?”

  “Oh, no, we became sisters, and that was never a notion in our heads. I think she recognized her sexuality first. Miranda is the introspective, analytical one. We realized that we were on the same page one day when we admitted to having crushes on Abigail Royce, the queen of rebellion at our school. I think we were around fifteen then.”

  I took the opportunity to study Jade as she drove, pretending to be looking out her window. She looked better, cooler behind the wheel than I did, even though she was having some difficulty managing the sparse leg room. “How old were you when you realized you were?”

  “Around fifth grade, I guess. I was so tall, and the girls were always trying to climb on me like I was a tree. I realized one day that I really liked it.” Jade shook her head as her hair whirled around her face. “It blossomed after that, I suppose.”

  “How old were you when you had your first kiss?” I pushed. Jade liked to ask questions but didn’t appear too hip on answering. At first, I assumed it was me, but I began to wonder if she did the same thing with everyone.

  “Seventeen.” She didn’t comment further nor did she ask me anything else, so I decided to be quiet and enjoy the ride. It wasn’t until we started across the long bridge to the island that she spoke again. “How old were you?”

  The question took me by surprise since the conversation had dropped. “I was fifteen, and Abigail Royce taught me a thing or two about kissing. Wow, was that a bone of contention between Miranda and me for a while, but we got over it.” I took advantage of the opportunity and asked another question. “How do your parents handle your sexuality? Accepting, or is it still an elephant in the room?”

  Jade’s eyes remained on the road. “They’re dead,” she said without any emotion.

  “I’m sorry.” I waited for her to tell me it was a car accident or plane crash, something that took them both at the same time, but she didn’t say a word until I offered to take the wheel back, so she could see the island. It was odd to me that she didn’t mention it when I told her about losing my mother. The thought struck me that it might’ve happened recently and was too raw and painful to discuss.

  “I can’t imagine living in a place like this,” Jade said as she watched the beach houses go by. “I would think I was in heaven.”

  “I fantasize about it when I come here, but Panacea for now is as close as I’m going to get.”

  I pulled up at the gate to the entrance of the state park that took up one end of the island and paid for a day pass. I looked at Jade when we started to move again. “You like to camp?”

  “No.” Jade shook her head and looked out her window. “There was a time I did it a lot and burned out.”

 
; “I asked because there’s a campground here, and I was going to show you the spur if you were interested.” She shook her head and continued to stare at the sand dunes as we drove by.

  Fortunately, the water was still chilly, and that kept the crowds away. There were only a half-dozen cars in the lot at the beach access when I pulled in. “Wanna have a look at the beach?”

  “Yes,” Jade said enthusiastically.

  I popped the trunk and grabbed a plastic bag in case Jade found more shells. The trunk was ripe. I suspected that we might’ve found an inhabited shell, but none was moving. I hoped the creature had already given up the ghost when we grabbed the shell. I coughed and slammed the trunk, mentally adding Febreze to my shopping list.

  “This is what I pictured Florida to look like,” Jade said as the water came into view.

  Waves pounded the sandy shore in the afternoon light, and I felt light as a feather as I walked by her side down the wooden bridge. “The water in the Keys is even prettier, but this is still so…”

  “Peaceful and invigorating at the same time,” Jade said. “Magical.”

  I smiled. “Exactly.” We walked down to the water’s edge and let it lap at our ankles. “I brought towels in case you wanted to brave it and go in. It’s still too cold for me, though.”

  “Do you mind if we just walk?”

  “So you can collect shells?” I said with a grin.

  “Maybe just a few,” she said with a shrug, “hundred.”

  “We’re gonna need more bags, maybe a wheelbarrow.”

  “I’ll go easy on you this time.” She bent down and gathered up two. “Next time, bring the wheelbarrow.”

  “Ah! You said next time. Does that mean you’ll do this with me again?”

  She dropped the shells into the bag. “As long as you want my company.”

  I took that as a good sign.

  We were so absorbed in shell collecting and sightseeing that neither of us had paid attention to how far we’d walked until she turned and noticed that the boardwalk looked like a dot on the horizon. “I guess we should turn around,” Jade said with disappointment in her voice. “It’s getting late. I saw a sign that said the park closes at dark.”