Sasquatch and the Muckleshoot

by Adam Gidwitz

  “Who’s Jane Saw?” Elliot asked. And then he said, “Wait. Never mind. I get it.”

  Mack grinned. “Every one of those logs tells a story.” He looked up toward the roof. “There’s Raven.”

  Elliot nodded. He’d read an interesting book of Native American stories called Raven Steals the Light. “The trickster hero, right?”

  “Not exactly,” Mack said. “In this case I mean Raven, my—Look out!”

  Mack’s warning came a second too late. A shape suddenly came leaping down from the roof.

  THUD!

  Elliot found himself on the ground with a girl wearing glasses sitting on his chest. She was about his size and dressed entirely in green camouflage. Her dark hair was woven into three long braids, tied with strips of fur.

  “I’m Raven,” she said. “Who are you?”

  “Uh,” Elliot said, trying to catch his breath. “Uh . . . huh . . . huh . . .”

  “Pleased to meet you, Uhhuhhuh,” Raven said. She looked up at Mack. “He’s cute, Pop. Can I keep him?”

  “No. And actually,” Mack added, “his name is not Uhhuhhuh. It’s Screams A Lot.”

  “No,” Elliot managed to grunt. “It’s . . . Elliot.”

  Mack reached down one big hand to pick up Raven.

  “Folks,” he said, as Elliot scrambled to his feet, “meet my daughter, Raven. Raven, these are my fellow members of the Unicorn Rescue Society.”

  “haʔɫ labdubuɫəd ti dsyəyaʔyaʔ—it’s nice to see you, my friends,” Raven said.

  “Kwuh-dah-cheets,” Uchenna answered.

  “Wow,” Raven said. “That was almost Muckleshoot.”

  “That was how your father greeted us. Sort of,” Uchenna replied. “Maybe you can teach me how to say it right?”

  “You bet,” Raven said. She reached out to shake Uchenna’s hand, and then paused. “Do you like music?”

  “I live for it,” Uchenna answered.

  “What kind?”

  “Blues, folk, techno, hard rock, pop, emo, country . . .”

  Raven made a face. “My thing is hip-hop.”

  “Like who? J. Cole? Nikki? Or old-school? Latifah is great. So is Tribe. But—”

  Raven laughed. “We’re going to be friends.” Then she said, “What is that?”

  Jersey was scrambling around on the ground, going berserk over something that no one else could see. He looked like he was doing some kind of hyper-caffeinated aerobics.

  “That’s a Jersey Devil,” Uchenna said. “His name is Jersey, but I wanted to call him Bonechewer.”

  “Bonechewer is a better name,” Raven agreed.

  Mack said, “I think I know what’s driving the little guy crazy. Do I smell salmon cooking?”

  By now, it really looked like Jersey was doing jumping jacks.

  “On the back deck grill, Pops,” Raven said.

  So they all went inside for dinner, before Jersey hurt himself.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After Mack had given thanks in Muckleshoot to the salmon for the gift of its life, Raven began filling everyone’s plates. Jersey got one, too, which he ate ferociously, and then came up whining for more, which Raven happily fed to him, piece by piece. After the meal, Jersey calmed down, and they all sat and looked out on the beautiful wooded valley. A bald eagle coasted over the tops of the pines, its body framed by the golden light.

  “It looks like a postcard,” Elliot murmured.

  “To you, it’s a postcard,” Mack replied. “To us, it is our home.”

  “Amigo mío,” Fauna said, “please explain now why we are here.”

  Mack nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Our family has a long history with sasquatch. Of all the forest people, the sasquatch have always been the most elusive. More so since white folks showed up here with their guns three centuries ago. Sasquatch are big and strong. Even grizzly bears wouldn’t challenge ’em. But a gun is a whole different thing.”

  Elliot raised his hand. “Uh, Mr. gәqidәb, are there grizzly bears here?”

  “Nope. They’re all gone now, every one of them killed by guns. But even when those bears were here, they would run from a sasquatch.”

  Elliot raised his hand again.

  Mack chuckled. “Listen, Million And One Questions. I know you’ve got lots you want to ask. But folks often forget that we have two ears and only one mouth for a reason. We should listen twice as much as we talk. Hang in there just a bit longer, and I might answer your questions before you ask them. Okay?”

  Elliot put his hands in his lap and nodded.

  Mack smiled and nodded back. “Sasquatch may be big and strong, but they hardly ever hurt people. They even help people sometimes. Listen to this.”

  Mack inhaled through his nose, his shoulders rising. The sun shone on his black hair.

  “When I was about four years old I was out with my parents, walking through these woods.” Mack pointed with his chin. “My parents were walking ahead of me, talking about something or other, and I was dawdling. Taking it all in. I found an interesting stone on the ground. And then another one. And another. I stepped back. They looked like they had been placed there, like an arrow, pointing deeper into the woods.

  “Well, I forgot all about my parents, and they must have forgotten all about me. I went the way those stones were pointing, and after a little while, I came to a little gully, surrounded by fallen logs and thick branches. I pushed through the brush—and found the most amazing thing I’d ever seen in my young life.”

  Elliot opened his mouth to guess what it was and then quickly shut it again. Mack nodded approvingly.

  “There was a family of sasquatch, lounging in the falling light,” he said. “A huge male was leaning against a rock, and a little one was winding long tendrils of moss through the big male’s sleek brown hair. A female was nursing a little baby sasquatch, while another female—maybe her sister—was crouched over an anthill, sliding a stick into it and then licking ants off the stick.

  “I guess it was because I was just a little guy at the time, but I wasn’t scared at all. And neither were the sasquatch. The male just looked at me. The female with the stick stood up. Even though she had been crouching like an ape, she stood upright, straight as a human and taller than the tallest man I’d ever seen, and she walked over to me. She reached out her hand, which was like a human’s, but her fingers were longer, and the back of her hand was hairy.

  “I don’t think I even hesitated. I took her hand, and she led me over to the anthill and showed me what she was doing. Licking the stick to make it sticky—though sticks are always sticky, I guess—” Mack said with a chuckle, “and then sliding it down into the anthill. When she’d bring it up, ants would be crawling all over it. Then she’d lick them off the stick and do it again.

  “Pretty soon, I had found my own stick, and we were taking turns.”

  “You ate live ants?” Uchenna asked.

  “Yup, Sings Real Sweet. I don’t remember how they tasted so much as how they felt crawling around in my mouth.”

  Elliot suddenly looked ill.

  “Then I started playing tag with the child sasquatch. She’d poke me with a stick, and I’d poke her with mine. We chased each other around the gully, trying to poke each other. Once, she stepped on the male sasquatch’s fingers. He grabbed her and threw her across the clearing. I got scared for a moment. But she just pushed herself up with her knuckles, brushed the pine needles out of her long, soft hair, and started chasing me again.”

  “It sounds like heaven,” Uchenna said softly.

  “That’s just how it felt, Sings Real Sweet. Anyway, after a long time, I got tired. I curled up next to the female who’d taught me how to eat ants, and I must have fallen asleep.

  “Meanwhile, though, my parents were going crazy. They’d gotten back to our village and realized I wasn�
��t with them. Night was falling and it was getting colder.

  “Grandmother Moon was bright and high above the treetops, so they searched by her light. Hours and hours they looked for me. At last, one of the searchers saw something strange. Cedar bark had been piled up on top of an old hollow stump, making a sort of roof. When the searcher looked inside that hollow stump, there I was. Dry moss had been packed all around me to keep me warm, and I was fast asleep.

  “Ever since, I’ve had a special bond with those big hairy guys. I’ve never gotten to play with them again like that. But when we see each other, we know we’re family.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Professor Fauna said, “Mack, I like this story very much. But will you tell us why we were summoned here so urgently?”

  “Right,” Mack said, clapping his hands together. “It’s like this. My family and I have been protecting the sasquatch for generations now, working as hard as we can to keep them secret. We remember what happened to the grizzlies when outsiders learned they were here.

  “So, we were doing a pretty good job of protecting the hairy fellas. The sasquatch mostly live in the valley down there, which is why Raven and I call it Sasquatch Valley. Whenever a film crew came to try to make a documentary about the sasquatch, we would confuse them by putting on the sasquatch suits, running in different directions, that sort of thing.”

  “That must be fun,” Uchenna interrupted.

  Raven grinned. “Super fun. Those camera guys get so worn-out.”

  Mack went on. “But things got harder when my wife . . . when my wife . . .” He trailed off and looked into his lap.

  Raven patted his arm. “It’s okay, Pop.” She looked at the professor and the children. “My mom died last winter.”

  Mack nodded. “Since then, it’s just been Raven and me. My brothers were here for a while, but Jack and Zack are in the marines, deployed overseas. And our other brother Dack is off in Hawaii, studying oceanography.”

  Uchenna and Elliot stole a glance at each other, but didn’t want to interrupt.

  “Yeah.” Mack smiled. “We’re Mack, Jack, Zack, and Dack. I can only imagine what would have happened if my parents had more boys: Slack? Shack? Lack? That would have been whack, let me tell you.”

  Raven groaned at her dad’s bad joke. But behind her big, black-rimmed glasses, she looked quietly happy to see her father joking around.

  “Without my wife,” Mack went on, “Raven has had to do even more work around here, in addition to her schoolwork and the work of just growing up—which isn’t easy, I know. But she’s tough, and we worked hard, and things were going okay.”

  “So what happened?” Elliot asked.

  “The Schmoke brothers happened,” Mack replied.

  Professor Fauna let out a growl from deep in his throat. Jersey looked up at the sound and growled, too.

  “Again?” Elliot sighed, throwing up his arms. “Why is it always them?”

  “Wherever mythical creatures are threatened, it always seems to be them!” Uchenna agreed.

  “Yup,” Mack said, nodding. “Where there’s Schmoke, there’s fire.”

  Raven groaned again. Mack winked at her.

  “The Schmoke brothers signed a deal with the tribal council to do some selective logging. Those big trees down in Sasquatch Valley are worth thousands of dollars each. A little bit of logging isn’t a bad thing, if you do it responsibly. I mean, he who lives in a log house shouldn’t throw chain saws, right?” Mack said, jerking a thumb back at the carved poles behind him. “But I’ve got a secret source in the Schmoke organization that says they’ve got different plans.”

  “What source?” Raven asked. “You know someone who works for the Schmoke brothers?!” She was incredulous. “Not a member of the Muckleshoot, right?!”

  “I can’t talk about it, Raven. Too dangerous for all involved.”

  But Raven wasn’t giving up. “Because no one from our tribe should work for them, even if they did sign a contract with the council. Their environmental record is awful!” Raven stopped. “Wait . . . or is your source Jesse Bob? Did he hack their email? Or is Officer Joe watching their offices? Did Nancy Bill get someone talking? She’s good at that. . . .”

  But Mack just set his jaw and looked down at his daughter. Raven glared right back up at him through the large lenses of her black glasses.

  “Anyway,” Mack went on, “based on the information from my source—whatever or whoever it is—I’m pretty sure that the Schmokes aren’t planning to do selective, responsible logging. With the amount of machinery they’re bringing in, they could level the entire forest in a couple of weeks. Once they get those machines running, Sasquatch Valley could be clear-cut before the tribal council has time to get a court injunction to stop them.”

  “That’s horrible!” Raven said. “And if the forest is gone—what happens to the sasquatch families?”

  They all sat in silence, letting that sink in.

  “What doesn’t make any sense, though,” Mack went on, “is that this logging scam isn’t the only thing that’s going on. Just when the Schmokes started negotiating with the tribal council, hordes of film crews and news crews and Bigfoot hunters descended on this area. Raven and I have been running around like crazy trying to lead them away from Sasquatch Valley, but there’s only two of us. And I’ve got a lot to do to stay on top of this information source, so the Schmokes can’t surprise us.”

  “And what did you say the source was again?” Raven asked very sweetly.

  “I didn’t,” said Mack. He turned to Professor Fauna, Elliot, and Uchenna. “What I will say, though, is that we need help.”

  Professor Fauna spread his hands in front of him. “Amigo mío, that is why we are here. What can we do?”

  Mack replied, “I need you all to learn how to help Raven with these film crews and Bigfoot hunters.”

  “Wait,” said Uchenna, cocking her head and glaring at Mack. “Are you saying you’re going to keep working on your secret angle with the Schmokes, while we dress up in those Bigfoot costumes and run around the forest?”

  Mack looked taken aback. “Well—”

  “Because that sounds awesome,” Uchenna concluded.

  Mack laughed. “Okay, Sings Real Sweet. Raven’s gonna take you guys out and show you a few things you need to know about the woods—tracking, navigating, that kind of thing.”

  Elliot started to nibble at his fingernails.

  “Don’t worry, boyfriend,” Raven said. “I’ll keep you safe.”

  Elliot nodded uncertainly at the Muckleshoot girl with the big glasses and the mischievous smile.

  “And while you do that,” Mack went on, “I’ll figure out how to expose the Schmokes’ plan. Schmoke ’em out, you might say.”

  “Mr. gәqidәb, do you make bad puns all the time?” Uchenna asked.

  “Only when he’s awake,” Raven replied.

  Fauna clapped his hands once. “It is a plan!” he said. “Fellow members of our noble society, let us now learn how to become Bigfeets!”

  “And march to victory—on de feet!” Mack added.

  Everyone groaned.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Mack dropped them all off at a large wooded park. The idea was that Raven would help them practice woodland skills and teach them how they’d work together to bamboozle the hunters and reporters, while Mack followed up on his mysterious source of information. When the sun was two hands higher in the sky—two hours later—he’d be back to pick them up.

  Raven led Elliot, Uchenna, and Professor Fauna between the tall ocher trunks of the cedar trees, with pale green needles filtering the sunlight overhead. Jersey, who grew up among pines, scrabbled joyfully from tree to tree, clambering up the trunks with his claws and then gliding down on his red wings. Raven said he looked like a flying squirrel—except mostly blue. She pointed out holes in the t
rees where flying squirrels were sleeping until nightfall.

  “I can’t believe squirrels can fly,” Uchenna murmured.

  “I can’t believe you have a Jersey Devil for a sidekick. . . ,” Raven replied, “and you named him Jersey.”

  Uchenna laughed. “Right? Bonechewer is much better.”

  “I don’t know.” Raven watched him glide from one tree trunk to another. “I might have gone with Floating Death.”

  “AWESOME!” Uchenna crowed.

  “You guys are weird,” said Elliot.

  Raven knelt down. “Anyway, let’s get to it. My mom was the expert tracker and survivalist. But she taught me a lot before she passed. Out here in the forest, I know her spirit is with me.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were clear and purposeful. “Reading the forest is like reading a book,” she said. “Everything you see gives you information about what’s going on out here. Close your eyes.”

  They all closed their eyes.

  “Okay, open them.” Raven was standing a few yards away, pointing to a pile of round brown balls on the ground. They looked like chocolate candies.

  “See these?” she said. “You can tell this is deer scat because it looks like a pile of chocolate-covered caramels.” Elliot and Uchenna came over to her as she knelt down. “Let’s see how they taste.” Raven picked one up and popped it into her mouth.

  Elliot’s eyes bulged. He felt like he was going to throw up. Uchenna wanted to look away, but couldn’t. It was too disgusting.

  Then Raven cracked a sideways grin. She took an empty candy box out of her pocket. “They look like chocolate because they are chocolate.”

  Elliot and Uchenna exhaled and laughed—but just then Professor Fauna, who was standing at another tree a short distance away, called out, “Children, I found some, too!” He was holding a small brown ball between his fingers. He popped it into his mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully. “These do not taste at all like chocolate, actually,” he said.