Just Breathe

by Anna Leigh Keaton

  She nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

  He turned away and started up the stairs at the end of the hallway. “I mean it, Crystal. Thank you.”

  “Just remember,” she said to his back as she followed him up the stairs, unable to keep herself from noticing the way his slacks pulled across his extremely firm butt and how his shirt hugged his wide shoulders. “This is only temporary.” No way could she stay too long. Her emotions were like an open wound, and Dex and those babies could not be her ointment. She could not let her heart open to these people. This was only a job. The scary part was that she knew herself well enough to worry she’d cling.

  Chapter Three

  The nursery was directly between the master bedroom and the nanny’s room. The house was similar in style to her uncles’ place, so the only real surprise was the size of the rooms. The square footage of Dex’s house had to be double her uncles’ place. The nursery was the size of the master bedroom across the road.

  Two cribs sat across the room from each other. No wonder those babies had been crying for a month. First they were ripped from their mother, then from each other. She and Dex had a short debate whether they should push the cribs side-by-side or if they should put the babies together. The final decision was made when they went down to get the babies and found them cuddled together like two little puppies.

  “They should stay together,” Dex said, and Crystal agreed.

  Dex and Crystal stood next to each other, staring at the babies in the single crib, Dex’s knuckles turning white from his grip on the top rail. As much as her brain told her to stay detached, her heart couldn’t let him suffer alone. No one should be completely alone. She knew that more than anyone. Laying her hand over his, she whispered, “It’ll get easier.”

  He nodded but didn’t look away from the girls. “She always told me that I needed an attachment.” His voice was low and rough. “That I needed to learn about commitment.” He took a slow, deep breath. “I swear, she did this to me on purpose.”

  Maybe he hadn’t reached the depression part of grief. Sounded to Crystal as though he was still awfully angry at his sister.

  “At thirty eight years old, she decided she wanted a baby but had no man in line to be the father. She went to a sperm bank and wound up with twins.”

  “How did she die?”

  Dex turned his head to look at her. “Heart failure.” His brow puckered into a frown. “I kissed her goodbye and told her I’d stop by in the morning on my way to work. I got home, went to bed, and an hour later I got a call from the hospital saying that I needed to get there immediately.

  “I didn’t make it in time.” His face scrunched in an expression of extreme pain. He sucked in a quick breath, pulled his hand from beneath hers, and walked into his bedroom through the connecting door.

  Her heart cried for him. He seemed so lost. She closed her eyes for a moment and clung to the edge of the crib, trying to ground herself. She could be here and offer her support, she told herself, as long as she didn’t get too deep, didn’t let herself care too much. Just a little. To help make his life a bit easier until he could find someone else to take over for her.

  “Here’s the baby monitor,” he said, holding out the walkie-talkie-like device to her. She took it. “I can hear them when they wake up at night.” He motioned to his bedroom through the open door.

  Crystal vowed to shut that door when she got back from Uncles’ house with her toiletries. The man needed a solid night’s sleep.

  “I’ll make up some bottles and stick them in the fridge for the nighttime feedings.”

  “Don’t,” she said. “Why don’t you just get some sleep? I’ll do the bottles before I turn in.”

  His shoulders drooped as if even his arms were too much for him to carry now. “Again. Thank you.”

  She smiled. “Go on. I’ll just run across the street and get my stuff.”

  “Good night, then,” he said and went back into his room, leaving the connecting door open.

  Crystal stuck the baby monitor on the nightstand in her bedroom, peeked in to see the bathroom, more than pleasantly surprised she had a private bath, and then rushed down the stairs and outside. The uncles were sitting on the porch, waiting for her.

  “You were there an awful long time,” Uncle Charlie said.

  She dropped a kiss on top of Charlie’s head as she rushed past and pushed open the door. “Be right back.”

  After grabbing her two changes of clothes and her bag of travel-sized toiletries from a bottom dresser drawer in Uncle Charlie’s room, she headed back outside. “Okay, guys, you were right. He needed help, and badly. So, he hired me and I’m starting tonight.”

  Uncle Charlie nodded and smiled at her.

  “How much he payin’ you?” Uncle J asked.

  “Uh. Well...” She chuckled and then grabbed to catch her bag before it tumbled off the top of her stack of clothes. “We didn’t exactly set a price, but he said he’d pay me whatever I wanted. He’s very desperate. They’re beautiful babies, but two are pretty hard to handle for one guy.” Especially since she got the impression that before the twins came along, he hadn’t had any real experience with kids.

  “Huh,” Uncle J said.

  Crystal scooted between the porch rail and the swing where Charlie and Jerald sat, and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. “Save me a piece of that apple pie. I’ll come over tomorrow with the babies so you can meet them, and I expect there to be a piece left for me.”

  “Come over for lunch,” Uncle Charlie said. “I’ll fix grilled cheese for you.”

  Crystal grinned. Charlie’s grilled cheese consisted of toast with Cheez Whiz. But he’d made them for her ever since she was a little girl. “I’d love that, Uncle.”

  He winked at her.

  “Love you guys,” she said. “See you tomorrow.” She skipped down the steps, stopped at her car to grab her purse, which held an emergency supply of her daily medicine, then jogged across the street. She sent her uncles a quick wave before she went back into Dex’s house and locked the door behind her.

  * * * * *

  Dex rolled over and stretched. Warm sunshine filtered through the window, making him sigh with contentment. Yawning, he scratched his chest, then reached for the spare pillow and pulled it against his body as he sighed again. A day in bed sounded pretty damn good.

  No. Couldn’t spend the day in bed. Meeting to get to. If he blew this deal, he might as well close up shop and retire early. He forced his eyes open to look at the clock. 8:02. Good, still had a half hour before he needed to get up.

  He yawned again. Couldn’t retire early, he thought absently. Had the twins to put through college, and who knew how much it was going to cost by the time they were old enough to—

  He surged to his feet, nearly tripping over the sheet wound around his legs. The twins hadn’t awakened him through the night. Something was wrong! Visions of his girls dead from SIDS ran through his mind. He threw the door to the nursery open to see two empty cribs. His heart slammed against his breastbone. Where are my babies? Had he been so tired he went to sleep and left them downstairs?

  He ran for the stairs, leapt down them three at time, panic such as he’d never felt before making his stomach turn with nausea. “Ruby! Amber!” he called as he frantically searched the living room, lifting couch cushions, looking behind the easy chair. Where are my babies?

  “Dex?”

  He whirled around to see the little blonde pixie.

  In a rush, last night came back to him. His knees gave way, and he collapsed onto the couch. “Oh, God, I’m losing it,” he groaned as he buried his face in his hands. And then he realized what he’d been doing. Looking under the cushions as if Ruby and Amber were a lost set of keys. Hysterical laughed bubbled up in his chest, but he swallowed it. What came out was a pitiful moan that sounded, even to himself, like a wounded animal.

  A gentle, cool hand touched his bare shoulder. “Hey.”

  He lowered his hands a
nd looked up at... Crystal was her name. She hunkered down in front of him and rested her hands on his knees. She was so little, but her calmness soothed into him. Her blue eyes were as clear as her name. Crystal. Her lips pink and plump. Freckles dotted the bridge of her nose, and she wore no makeup. Her clothes today were more casual; a pink T-shirt and faded blue jeans. Her hair was adorably mussed, but he thought that might be the intended style. Her skin was alabaster white, looking as smooth as silk. He wanted to touch her….

  “You okay?” she asked.

  Pulling his brain back from musings on how her skin would feel under his lips, he nodded. “I guess I wasn’t awake enough to remember you had the babies. When I realized they hadn’t cried during the night, and then they weren’t in their cribs...” He shook his head and gave her a sheepish smile. “I guess I wasn’t going to find them under the couch, huh?”

  She smiled, and her eyes crinkled a bit at the corners.

  “How old are you?” he blurted out, then rolled his eyes. “Sorry. I think too much sleep has muddled my brain beyond repair.”

  Crystal chuckled, the sound sweet and a little husky. “I’m thirty-five.” She stood up and held out her hand to him. “Need some coffee?”

  Wrapping his hand around her small one, he stood up. He didn’t want to let go. In fact, he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her. Taste her. Hell, he wanted to take her up against the wall. Because of her, he’d gotten the first good night’s sleep he’d had in a month, and he wanted to thank her.

  Remembering all the things he’d said the night before, he dropped her hand. “I need to grab a shower and get dressed.” He wore nothing but a pair of boxers that weren’t going to hide his interest in the new nanny if his line of thought kept heading for the gutter. He’d pretty much bared his soul to her the night before and begged her to take the job.

  She smiled up at him, and there was no pity in her eyes, which he appreciated, but it probably meant she thought he was an idiot, not even pity-worthy.

  “Here, hold on a second.” She turned and went into the kitchen. He waited. She came out with a steaming mug of coffee. “Black?”

  He nodded.

  “Take this with you, then,” she said with a cheeky grin. “Maybe after some caffeine and a shower, you’ll feel a bit more like yourself.”

  He gave a nod and took the cup from her. “Thanks. Where are the babies?”

  She tipped her head toward the kitchen, and he followed her through the arched opening. Amber and Ruby were strapped into their chairs sitting on the kitchen table. They were both asleep, their little hands clasped together, spanning the tiny space between the seats.

  “They were up at two this morning for their bottles, and then when I went in about an hour ago, they were awake but just lying there, holding hands and cooing at each other.”

  Emotion swamped Dex. He had to take a deep breath to keep it in check, then swallowed a gulp of coffee. They were so damn cute. He never knew it was possible to love this much. For those couple of brief minutes when he thought they were gone, he...he thought he’d die.

  Reaching out, he ran the back of his index finger over one cheek, and then the other’s.

  Crystal’s small, cool hand touched his shoulder again, and he smiled. He could get used to having her around. She was...sweet. “I’m going to go get dressed,” he said and turned for the stairs before he did something completely inappropriate. Like lift Crystal into his arms and lick her little body from head to toe and sink deep into her until all his worries left him and there was nothing left but—

  Get a grip, Williams. She’s your employee.

  Yeah, but just imagine those juicy lips against yours.

  Shut the hell up!

  He practically ran for the stairs.

  * * * * *

  Crystal sighed and watched Dexter Williams’ really tasty butt as he jogged up the stairs. Damn, but the man was good looking first thing in the morning. All rumpled and whiskery. She’d never been a fan of boxer shorts, but he sure as heck filled his nicely. Wide, muscled shoulders, long, thick thighs. The tightest butt she’d ever seen. And don’t even think about that chest, she told herself as she turned back to the kitchen after he’d disappeared at the top of the stairs.

  His pecs made her want to sink her teeth in and take a bite. His chest hair whorled around his flat, dark nipples and made a sexy line straight down the middle of him, pointing toward his... Oh hell, the man had a package to die for.

  Crystal fanned her hand in front of her face. What the heck is wrong with you, girl? Acting as if you’d never seen a man in his boxers first thing in the morning.

  Yeah, well, she thought as she pulled the carton of eggs and a block of cheddar from the fridge, it had been one heck of a long time since she had seen a guy in his boxers first thing in the morning. And that had just been her husband of ten years. Her rather plump, balding husband who woke up one morning and decided he couldn’t live with a woman who was dying of cancer.

  Randy was now married to a twenty-three year old and had a brand new baby boy.

  The bastard.

  Crystal gritted her teeth and pushed away the thoughts. She shouldn’t waste her time thinking about Randy. He was part of her past. The only person she needed to worry about now was herself. She glanced at the sleeping twins. And Ruby and Amber and yes, even Dexter Williams. For right now, she’d extend herself to them because she’d never seen a family in more need of a little TLC.

  Dex was man enough to admit he couldn’t do it on his own, and he’d obviously had a heck of a time finding anyone who would stick around and help. Well, here she was, and she wasn’t going anywhere right away. She’d make sure, before she left, that she’d found him a good replacement.

  With that resolve, she spied the frying pan in the drawer beneath the oven and started making breakfast for Dex. After a good sleep, he needed a hearty breakfast to get him going. Maybe if he could get a couple more nights of rest, he might feel a little more back to himself and that would help him function better with the babies.

  She gave a nod as she cracked eggs into a small mixing bowl. She’d give him a month. That would give her time to check into a couple refresher classes at the community college and try to figure out exactly where her bills were sitting. She needed to figure out what she was supposed to ask for payment from Dex. She’d have to call a nanny agency or two this afternoon and ask what they charged, in order to get a ballpark figure. She wasn’t going to rake him over the coals, even if he could afford it.

  Maybe a month wouldn’t be long enough. The classes wouldn’t start until September, and it was only June now. If she stayed on working for Dex, with the room and board included, she could get rid of her apartment and save a lot of money each month. She could put almost all the money Dex paid her into her bills and cut those down...

  If she got rid of her apartment, what would she do come September when she wanted to take classes? Move in with the uncles for the semester? She’d probably be ready for at least a waitressing job by then, so she could pay a little rent to the uncles for use of their couch.

  She nodded on the decision. Sleeping on the uncles’ couch for a few months wasn’t exactly her idea of fun, but she absolutely had to pay down the medical bills hanging over her head.

  After whisking the eggs with a fork, she poured them into the hot fry pan. She hoped Dex liked omelets. About all he had in the fridge was eggs, cheese and some questionable-looking sliced meat. And a lot of condiments. If board was included in her salary, she should find out when he was going grocery shopping next, because she didn’t like eggs.

  Chapter Four

  “Breakfast is ready!” Crystal called from downstairs.

  Dex frowned into the mirror as he straightened his tie. Breakfast? Since when did nannies make him breakfast? Hell, the last one didn’t even get out of bed until he woke her up before he left for the day.

  He shook his head. Crystal was definitely something...different. It was as if sh
e really cared about the girls. About him. And she’d only been there twelve hours.

  He grabbed his suit jacket and empty coffee mug before heading down the stairs. The scent of hot cheese and eggs hit him hard, and his stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hadn’t had dinner the night before, and lunch had been a fast food burger on his way to meeting a client.

  The babies were still in their chairs in the middle of the table, but in front of them sat a plate holding a big, steaming omelet with melted cheese and toast, and a fresh mug of coffee.

  He sat down without a word because he wasn’t sure what to say. He’d been thanking her since she walked through his front door.

  Crystal set a napkin and fork next to his plate. “I hope this is okay. It’s about all you have in the fridge.”

  He nodded and picked up the fork. “It— Thank you, Crystal. I don’t know the last time I had breakfast cooked for me.” He cut into the fluffy eggs, and melted cheese oozed over the fork. He closed his eyes to savor the feast. “Oh, God, that’s good,” he said after he swallowed.

  She was smiling at him, and he again wondered what those plump lips would taste like. She turned away and poured herself a cup of coffee. His gaze traveled over her slender back, and he wondered what her butt looked like. Her jeans were too baggy, but he knew she had curves, at least. Her T-shirt showed them off quite nicely. Her feet were bare. Tiny, pale feet with cute little toes, her nails glossed a soft pink.

  She wore no makeup and nothing on her fingernails, but her toenails were painted? That was weird. Then again, almost every woman who’d set foot in his house, including the numerous nannies, always had makeup on and every nail perfectly manicured.

  “The uncles told me that you had a girlfriend living here before the babies came. She didn’t make you breakfast?”

  Dex snapped his gaze from her cute little feet up to her face. She sat down in the chair at the end of the table and took a sip of her coffee.