About Time

by Danielle Torella

  I look around, “Who’s all going?” I ask, because I don’t want to be around Justin right now. I want to just be with other women who are here for all the same reason.

  “Just the girls. No boys allowed tonight,” She winks at me.

  I release a held breath and agree to join them.

  We all drive to a nearby bar, which I am always a little nervous about. It seems as though I have had not much luck at them. Between Mr. Grabby and the guy who actually tried to rape me… I just won’t go anywhere without one of the girls.

  I order a glass of wine, something I know I can handle. Not going to be as adventurous tonight. That and I would rather not dehydrate my muscles too much after that intensity. So one glass, then it’s all water.

  We all sit around a large make shift table, that the girls moved together themselves. The employee’s must be used to this, because they didn’t do or say anything about it. At first I sit back and listen to them all talk about anything and everything from the team to their personal lives. They all seem to mesh so well together and have such outgoing personalities, I don’t know if I really fit in.

  “So, Margot,” Katie-Strophic starts, “You need a derby name, because after the moves you pulled tonight, I don’t think you would need to be in quarry long!”

  The other girls hoot and holler, a few raise their fists and then they all raise their glasses. “Hear! Hear!” They shout.

  I laugh and shake my head, “I have no idea what I would do for a name…” I see a few of the girls look past me and cross their arms over their chests. Then I feel a hand on my shoulder.

  “How about Honey Bee?” I hear from behind. Everything in my body tenses and I squeeze my legs together to control a heatwave that just spread over my core. How does his voice do that to me?

  Before I even turn, Fancy speaks up, “This is a girls only evening Derrek.”

  “Yeah,” Says Lacey. “Besides there is nothing vicious or threatening about Honey Bee… Sounds more like a nickna… Oh.” She looks to me and tries to hide a smile.

  I still don’t turn to look at him, but I know he is staring a hole into the back of my head and he doesn’t bother to remove his hand. Judging by the look on Fancy’s face she is finding this both amusing and irritating. I have a feeling that I will be talking to her about all of this later, if she hasn’t already figured me or us… no us, there isn’t an, us… out.

  Lola throws a French fry at him and all the girls mouth drop open and a burst of laughter erupts from around the table. Even I can’t hold back. I feel his hand tighten for a moment on my shoulder then it creeps up and he swipes his thumb up and down on the back of my neck and I go quiet. My mouth goes dry and I have to reach for my glass of water. I bring the straw to my lips and track a few long sips out of the ice cold water that is soothing the burn in my throat.

  The girls are once again laughing and talking amongst themselves. Derrek leans down and into my ear, “Why have you been avoiding me?”

  I see Fancy watching us and ignoring everyone else around her. I shoot her an assuring look that I’m okay and hold up a single finger to tell her that I will be back in one minute. I slowly stand and finally turn to face Derrek.

  He takes my hand and leads me to the bar. I think he knows that I am being watched out for tonight and he coaches those girls and he knows just how tough they really are. “So, are you going to tell me why you haven’t responded to any of my messages or calls?” His arms are now crossed over his chest, which is in a light blue V-neck tee and it is hugging him beautifully. I want to reach up and run my hands up and down that chest of his.

  I suck in my lip and try to think of something quick. His eyes are in slits now and I can see a noticeable twitch in his jeans. I release my lip, knowing what it does to him. “I have been busy with work.”

  “Bull.”

  My eyes go wide, “How would you know?”

  “I know where you work, at the diner. I even swung by your place late last night just to make sure you were home safe and your car wasn’t there. Were you with…”

  “No, I wasn’t with Josh.”

  “Well then where were you?” He puts an arm on the bar and leans in closer to me. “I need to know where you were, it’s driving me insane, knowing that you are with an asshole and a shitty friend. I’m always worrying about you.” His hands go to his head and he tugs on the longer strands at the top. He looks tired. “And when you just took off out of the café this morning, where did you go so fast?”

  He doesn’t know about the library.

  “I went into the library next door.”

  His head cocks to the side, “Why the fuck didn’t I think about that? I know you love to read…”

  I just shake my head and look away. Fancy still has her gaze on me. I feel like I’m being interrogated. I am not used to so many people worrying about me. “Look, I’m here with the girls and I would like to get back to them if you don’t mind.”

  “Will you call to let me know you got home safe?” His eyes are sad. They look like they haven’t rested in a few days. I notice that he also hasn’t shaved in a little bit too. A few days ago he was pretty clean shaven, but now he has a fair covering of a dark blonde scruff to him. It’s doing things to my lower belly. Josh is always shaved.

  “Sure,” I tell him to get him off my back.

  Leaning in close again he tells me, “If you don’t end it with that fucker soon, I will be stopping by.”

  My heart skips a beat. I would love for him to do that, to give Josh a run for his money. For Derrek to swoop in and claim me as his and carry me off to wherever it is he lives. But in reality that would only be destructive.

  “I should get back over there…” I start to step away and he grabs my arm.

  “You did great out there tonight, keep it up and I think you would be able to make the team faster. I’m proud of you, it takes guts to do what you did tonight,” He kisses me on the cheek and leaves my side.

  I watch him walk out the door and when it finally closes all the girls let out a big “Oooh!” I blush and go back to the table and sit next to Fancy. It’s time I finally open up to an actual friend.

  “So, are you going to tell me what all of that was about?” She keeps her voice low. I’m grateful that she doesn’t want to draw attention to the topic.

  “It isn’t anything. I’m with someone right now.” I take a sip of water, avoiding eye contact, because I know she will call me out.

  “That didn’t look like nothing, neither did him bringing you in drunk to my place. Which you still owe me an explanation about.”

  I look around the table to make sure no one is paying any attention, “It’s a complicated relationship that Josh and I have…”

  “Josh is the boyfriend?” She asks to clarify.

  Nodding I tell her, “We have been together a while and at the beginning I thought we had something good, something special… So I opened up and told him things that I never told anyone. And I am not proud of where I come from and the life I had growing up and he used to play that he cared and now, well he just uses it all against me. He even made me lie to his parents about my life.”

  “What an ass!” She quietly yells. “Why are you with him then? There can’t be something so big where you can’t walk away…”

  “But there is.”

  I need to go back to my place tonight seeing as I have brunch to get to with Josh in the morning. As much as I would rather go stay at the library again, but apparently I can’t just go missing like that again.

  I get a text in the morning from Josh.

  Josh: I have an internship thing this morning. Brunch is off.

  Huh, okay, well that honestly makes my day a million times better. I turn my phone over onto my night stand and roll back over. I haven’t slept in in a very long time and I am going to take full advantage of it.

  I hear a tap on my door and I roll over to find it being opened. Maddy is coming through with a mug in her hands. “Can I come i
n?” She asks stopping in the door way.

  I look at her for a moment, because I don’t know if she is really there or I’m dreaming. That or it’s not a mug in her hands but a mallet. I rub my eyes and sure enough it’s a mug. “Um, yeah I guess…”

  She pads over to my bed and sits on the edge. I scoot up and wait for her to say something. This isn’t like her to play nice and frankly I’m a little nervous. “I want to apologize.”

  “I got your text.” I say blandly.

  She looks down and offers me the mug that has a tea bag in it. “I know I’m a real bitch and I am sorry. I want to try and make it up to you. I miss being close.” I study her face and she seems sincere, but that doesn’t mean that she is being honest. She two times men to get what she wants, who’s to say she isn’t pulling one over on me?

  “How do you suggest making it up to me? And why now? You didn’t seem to care about my feelings to much after I had tried to make the effort, by making you dinner and dessert and suggest we go out. You left me there alone for a guy or actually it looked more like two.” I take in a deep breath to calm my nerves and then I finally take the mug. I look at her again, “Honey?”

  “Of course” she says with a smile. “I am sorry about that, I don’t know why I insist on doing those things…”

  “Yeah, but that one guy he followed me outside and tried to…”

  She moves up closer to me, she can see how upset I am. She knows about the abuse I had to endure. “I am so sorry, I wish you had told me, or came back in to get me. Drag my ass out the next time.”

  “There won’t be a next time. I won’t be doing that again for a long time, if ever.” I start to move so I can get out of bed and I can really feel my muscles aching from boot camp. I wince as I side shift in my bed.

  “You alright?” Maddy asks, looking me over.

  I wave her off, “Yeah I am fine, just started working out and I think I pulled a muscle. That’s all.”

  She stands up, “I’ll get you some ibuprofen.” She leaves the room and I stand and really feel the burn.

  I go to find my robe to put on so I can go out into the kitchen. Right now I only have a shirt and some panties on. Just as I am opening my dresser I hear Maddy gasp. “Margot! What the fuck happened?” She yells, coming at me.

  “What?” I ask oblivious.

  She grabs my shoulders and turns my body to my back is to her and she bends down, “Where did you get this massive bruise on your ass?” She slides a finger over it, I flinch at the sting of it. “God, it looks painful!”

  I walk to my full length mirror, turn and take a look at what she is talking about. She’s right, there is a good three, four inch deep black and blue mark. It is also in a circular shape. When I fell on my wheel. I touch it and press on it to test the sensitivity and it’s pretty touchy. Crap and of course Maddy had to see it. “I guess when I fell working out I landed wrong.”

  “You think!” She puts her hands on her hips. “Are you sure you’re alright?” This is the first time in a long time where she was worried about me. I feel a freckle of guilt for lying, but not enough to fess up about roller derby. I grab a pair of leggings and slip them on. I don’t want her looking at it and trying to figure out if I am a sack full of shit.

  “I am fine, really. It’s not that bad and I have had worse. Now if you don’t mind I need to get dressed, I have some laundry that I need to get done.” She nods and comes over and wraps her arms around my body for a hug. “Thank you for the tea.”

  She pulls back and smiles. She walks out of the room and I hear her bedroom door close. I run my hand over my first real big bruise over my black leggings and I smile.

  The next five days go by slowly. I don’t bother with my phone much, I don’t care to speak to anyone really. Even though Maddy had tried to make amends I kept my distance. We play this game every few months and I don’t see it lasting anyways. Monday and Wednesday night I just stayed at the library. Told her I fell asleep reading and she never pushed for an explanation. She was busy with a couple dates this week anyways. I tried so hard to get her to change her ways with guys, hell I even introduced her to decent guys. Even Michael, sure I never met the guy other than a quick naked run in, but Ms. Datton is a great woman and she wouldn’t have tried setting me up with a creep. I’m the one who feels like a jerk for setting him up with her though, but he didn’t last long in Maddy’s date book. Maybe I can find someone who is single on the team…

  I get a call from Fancy, “Hey Killer!”

  I smile when I hear her sweet southern voice, “Hey yourself, what’s going on?” I ask. I hold the phone between my ear and shoulder as I shelve a couple of books.

  “Well, as you know boot camp is tomorrow night again and I just want to make sure you will be coming…” She drags out her voice and I can see her giving me puppy dog eyes on the other end. This makes me giggle.

  I walk into the other room so Mrs. Brown doesn’t hear me, “Yeah I will be there I loved it.” That doesn’t even begin to express how good it felt. I felt alive and it got everything out of me. I can’t wait to do it again.

  “Have you thought about getting your own gear?” She asks me. “Because you are going to need it for the team…you can’t rent your shit for a bout.” She laughs.

  “Well when I make a team then I will worry about it.” I assure her.

  “I don’t see it taking long and that’s not normal. Most have to go through a month of boot camp then a full year of quarry, before being drafted. But…”

  I pinch my eyes shut, smile a cheek splitting smile and hope she says what I hope she is going to say. I don’t think I have ever wanted something as bad as I do this. Which is insane of course, because this is so new. I know nothing about the sport hardly, just that it is one of my new favorite things. Books will always be my number one. “But…?” I push on.

  “But, we all talked and you will be drafted after the four, well now three boot camp sessions. We just need to make sure you know the moves and how to be safe. Oh and the rules of course. Most of us are willing to help you out outside of practice too, if you feel like you need it.”

  I’m crunched up in a chair when she tells me the good news and I thrash back and forth, holding back a fit of giggles that I feel bubbling up. This has made my whole week better. “Thank you! I am excited!”

  We are both laughing and she tells me, “I’m glad.”

  “Do you maybe, or would you like to get together?” I feel like being with a real friend.

  “Hell yeah! Why don’t you come on over and I will make dinner?” She offers.

  “Sounds great, what time?”

  Before heading over to Fancy’s I decided to bake a dessert, not only is it fair but I can get lost in one of my favorite pass times. I have been wanting a cheesecake for some time and I refuse to pay the bakery or grocery store price for it, considering I can make it for half the cost. The smell of it is driving me mad as I drive to her house just a little ways away. Her truck is in her driveway and she comes out the front door and waits for me to walk up to the porch.

  She takes the cheesecake from me and she closes her eyes and inhales deeply, just like I do around baked goods. Another reason why I know we are going to be friends. “You didn’t have to bring anything,” She tells me as we make our way through her door and into the kitchen.

  “It didn’t take much. I have been wanting one for a while.”

  She snaps her head back at me, “You didn’t buy this did you? I mean thank you if you did, but don’t waste your money on store bought…”

  I start to shake my head and laugh, “Are you my sister or something? I say the same thing and no, I made it.” It smells like she has been doing a little baking herself, I look around the room to see if I can spy any evidence.

  “Set it over there,” She cocks her head in the direction of a counter spot next to the fridge. I step over to find the most amazing smelling and looking cupcakes. They are mounded with a perfect swirl of pink frosting
and going by scent alone I’m guessing yellow cake.

  “They look and smell amazing! Yellow cake?”

  “Ah, you are good.” She winks at me. She turns back around to the oven to stir what she has cooking.

  Feeling useless, “Can I help you with anything?”

  She uses the large spoon she is stirring with and points to the island in the middle of the kitchen. “If you want to dice the tomatoes that would be helpful. I get to work on the tomatoes and when I see the other things out on the slab I know we are about to have tacos. I can’t even remember the last time I had them.

  “Where’s your daughter?” I ask.

  She drains the meat and adds seasoning, “Off with her Dad and believe me I have been dying for a girl’s night. I hope you like wine!”

  “Of course.”

  After dinner we sit on her sofa, the one I woke up on not too long ago and we have the dish of cupcakes and my cheesecake on the coffee table. Along with a bottle of red wine. We are on our second helping of each, “So Killer, do you like to bake a lot?”

  Through a mouthful of pink frosting I cover my mouth and giggle, “I really do. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane at home.” I swallow and reach for my glass and wash it down. I am on a sugar and wine rush and I am not complaining.

  “That bad?” She asks.

  “Well my roommate isn’t the greatest and she is trying to make it up to me, but I doubt it will last. It never does.” I take another sip of my wine. “So, when did you start baking?” I ask.

  She waves me off, “Longer than I can remember. I actually opened up my own bakery about five years ago, but things are getting tough and I can’t find a reliable partner to help me out. So, I will be closing up within a few months.” She looks so disappointed and I don’t blame her, I would too. “But…” She slowly starts to smile and her eyes brighten back up.

  “What?” I ask a little afraid, because she seems to be doing a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde bit here.