Everyone had told her what a great catch Douglas had been, how lucky she’d been to marry him. And except for Nick, the marriage had been a disaster. Now she was...involved with someone every friend, every acquaintance, would disapprove of.
Including, apparently, Murphy himself.
She considered Thanksgiving again. On previous holidays, she and Nick had gone to a restaurant, then a movie. It had hardly seemed worthwhile to cook for two
But now there was Murphy. If he would come.
She finished going through the reports, making notations on additional questions she wanted to ask the officers, then headed for Tim’s garage. She sensed Ryan was going to try to avoid her for the next several days. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it. It would be a slight detour before trying to find the bar where Ryan’s life came to an end ten years earlier
Tim met her at the door.
“Everything still fine?” she asked
“Yep. He’s one of the best workers I’ve ever had,” Tim said, but a worried frown settled over his face.
“Tim?”
“He’s too good, Julie. He’s too good to stay long I can’t afford to pay him much more than I’m doing ”
“No one else would even offer him a job,” she said. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
“It’s not me I worry about,” he said “It’s not fair to him”
Murphy obviously had another champion. “I don’t think he believes that.”
“Not now, mebbe,” Tim said dolefully
“Ah now, Tim me boy,” she said with a mock accent. “It’s that Black Irish pessimism of yours that has you worrying. I think he’s well content. He told me you’ve helped him with the driver’s license test. And buying a car. I don’t think he’s a man that forgets a favor ”
“He’s forgotten other things,” Tim said, screwing his face into a frown.
She had to smile, pleased because he was so concerned. “You worried that maybe he couldn’t fix cars. Now you’re worried because he can.” Then she paused. “Have you gotten any calls about him?”
“A couple,” he grumbled. “Idiots You don’t have to worry about that I don’t go back on my word, and I like him”
She wondered if that was where his sudden concern came from. “What did they say?”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t any of my customers, so I didn’t pay much mind”
Her instincts tingled. So she wasn’t the only target Nor was the preschool. Someone was carefully waging an all-out campaign against Murphy. The neighbors were involved in the petition campaign, but this was far beyond petitions and, she believed, her mostly civilized neighbors. It just didn’t seem right. It was far too organized on too many fronts.
Or was she merely looking for a villain, reluctant to believe that people like Emily could be so vicious as to use her son, and now endanger Murphy’s livelihood, knowing well that he had to have a job to stay out of prison
She soothed Tim with a few more words, then went into the bay area. Murphy was bent over the engine of a car and she quietly stopped several feet behind him, waiting until he was through with whatever he was doing
“What is it, Julie?” He asked the question without looking up.
“How did you know I was here?”
He straightened and turned toward her “Your perfume.”
She hadn’t used any today, but she had washed her hair She didn’t debate with him, however. He was as tense as a bow string on a bass fiddle.
“I had some errands to run.”
He straightened, and his eyes met hers.
“Do you have plans for Thursday?”
His brows furrowed. “Day after tomorrow?”
“Right. Thanksgiving,” she said with some amusement. Ryan was probably the only person in America who wasn’t aware of the holiday
“Oh,” he said, looking back at the engine.
“Nick wants you to come to dinner.”
He turned back to her, his eyes hooded “And you?”
“Yes,” she said simply.
“All right,” he said simply.
She took a key from her pocket. “Here’s a key to the house so you can use the washer and dryer Or the computer if we’re gone ”
A muscle flexed in his cheek “Don’t you think that’s a little dangerous? Handing out keys to strangers.”
“You’re hardly a stranger Take it ”
He hesitated, then accepted it without comment before turning back to the car.
“Two o’clock,” she said to his back. “Thursday ”
He nodded
Julie drove downtown and to the bar. She parked, then drew a little sketch The bar was closed, a shuttered derelict on a street of derelicts. She wondered whether it closed as a result of police attention following the shooting Another question to be asked. Where was the owner now?
She wondered whether it would be wise to bring Ryan here. Would he have another one of those flashes.
Julie looked at her watch. Time to pick up Nick.
Thanksgiving
A word without meaning, without emotion, to him. He knew what it represented, though Family, home, belonging He’d tned to ignore it, even as he wondered what it had meant to him in the past. Had he shared big turkey dinners with his wife and child?
His entire life was a question mark.
He finished earlier than usual on Wednesday. It seemed few people were worrying about servicing their cars today. He said goodbye to Tim, who was locking up.
“Have you plans for Thanksgiving?” Tim asked.
Ryan nodded.
“Good I’ll see you Friday. Do you want a ride home?”
“I like to walk.”
“When are you going for your driver’s license?”
“Monday.”
Tim finished locking the door. A lump in his throat, Ryan started walking. Deserved or not, he was touched by Tim’s friendliness and Johnny’s casual acceptance. Even several calls from his probation officer, including an unexpected visit, had not dimmed either man’s outlook.
The wind was cold, but he enjoyed the sensation of it against his face, and even more he relished the tangy, smoky smell of fall. He tried to avoid thoughts of Julie but he couldn’t.
Julie. Just thinking about her turned him inside out. He’d stopped at a drugstore yesterday and bought protection, even as he warned himself to stay away from her He knew just how much he needed to stay away when he had sensed her presence yesterday He’d hed to her It hadn’t been perfume He’d simply known. Perhaps because his heart seemed to stop, and the air had become thick, sultry, like before a storm
A storm that beckoned, cajoled, beguiled Tempted.
He turned down the street leading to her house. Several people in their yards turned around and went into their homes when they saw him coming He’d noticed their open hostility before, but he hadn’t realized how strong it was until he’d seen that damn sign in Julie’s office, the sign that told him he needed to leave the apartment as soon as possible
Ryan started to cross the street. He looked and saw no oncoming traffic, although there were several cars parked along the curve. He saw Nick sitting on the porch, and realized the boy must have been waiting for him
Halfway across, he heard a car and turned his eyes away from the boy A car was speeding down the street, coming from nowhere, bearing down on him Ryan threw himself to the side, rolling over the curb. He heard the sound of air as the car missed him by inches and went roaring down the street
Stunned, he remained still for a moment. He couldn’t seem to breathe, and he knew the wind had been knocked from him He was bleeding from several bad scrapes and cuts. His leg hurt and so did the shoulder which had been injured several months earlier. Nothing seemed broken. He painfully sat and watched his bleeding hands shake.
That near miss had been no accident, no hit-and-run The car had veered right at him when he’d moved to get out of the way. He’d seen that through the corner of his eye, and his mi
nd had registered the fact even as his body scrambled to get out of the way
He looked around Everyone had disappeared into their houses when they saw him on the street. No witnesses now. At least none, he suspected, who wanted to have anything to do with him.
“Ryan!”
Julie ran from the house, Nick right behind her.
Ryan stood shakily He hurt From head to toe, he hurt, and he felt the wet trickle of blood in several places He even tasted it and knew his face was bleeding. And his clothes? Well, his wardrobe had just become even more limited. He tried to give Julie a reassuring smile, but he feared it was more a grimace.
“Dear God.” Julie breathed the words. “What happened?”
His first instinct had been to lie, to say it was an accident but then he realized if he was in danger, then Julie and Nick might be, too “Someone tried to run me down ”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t ask him if he was sure. Instead, she looked down at Nick, whose face was screwed into a scared mask “It’s all right, Nick. Run inside and get our first-aid kit.”
Instead, Nick went over to Ryan and looked up, his eyes anxious.
“I’m all right,” he said.
“No, you’re not,” Julie said “I’ll take you to the hospital”
“No,” he said flatly “I’ve had enough of hospitals. And nothing’s broken.”
She looked as if she wanted to protest, then simply shook her head.
“Nick,” she said. “Go get some of your bandages for Ryan ”
Nick turned and ran inside
“Did you see the car?”
“Just the front. It was dark green That’s all I noticed ”
“I’ll call the police ”
“You’d be wasting your tune No witnesses except for an ex-con and a four-year-old boy.” He shrugged “Even if the police believed me, they would probably give the guy a medal So would the neighborhood.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice. He didn’t care about himself. But he realized the potential danger to Julie and Nicholas
“Come on, let’s go inside. We have to see to those cuts and abrasions ”
Painfully, he followed her inside and obediently sat down at the kitchen table, his thoughts running wild. What if Nick had been crossing with him? A shudder ran through his body
She put a hand on his shoulder
It was such a familiar, intimate, natural gesture that he started to relax. Nick came running in, lugging a big box. Julie opened it “Get me some hot soapy water,” she instructed Nick, and he ran off again
“He likes being helpful,” she said But he also knew she was trying to distract her son from what he’d just seen.
“I can’t stay over the garage any longer,” he said.
She moved around and sat in a chair opposite him. “And where will you go?”
“Back to prison if I have to,” he said “I won’t endanger you ”
“Whoever did this was after you, not us,” she said. “And it wasn’t neighbors ”
“I won’t risk it,” he insisted stubbornly.
Nick came padding back with a dish full of soapy water “It won’t hurt much,” he reassured Ryan. “Mommy will kiss it.”
That certainly had appeal. His gaze met hers, and for a second the grim look around her mouth eased. But then she was all business, her hands very gently swabbing the raw, bleeding patches of skin, then tenderly applying an antiseptic that stung and burned, but not nearly as much as her touch. Her eyes didn’t meet his again Instead she concentrated all her attention on his various wounds
Nick watched with unwavering concentration, his eyes full of sympathy. He put his hand on Ryan’s knee and stood by him, as if guarding him from any harm. “You can have some of my Band-Aids,” he offered generously.
He looked at Julie
“How would you like Mickey Mouse all over you?” she asked.
“I think the guys at the garage would appreciate it,” Ryan replied Nick beamed at him.
Despite the bruises and scrapes, Ryan felt suddenly rich. Very, very rich His heart expanded with his sudden wealth, and his breath caught in his throat from the grandness of it. Yet just as stunning was the accompanying anguish How could he possibly accept the gift they offered so freely? What price would they pay for it?
He sat in silence as she finished Then he stood to go “I’m always thanking you,” he said
“We’re going to call the police before you go,” she said “Then I wish you would stay for supper It’s not much...just hamburgers and coleslaw”
It sounded great. Far better than his usual sandwich. Than the loneliness that haunted him, than the frustration of trying so damnably hard to remember more than those two fleeting images that came and went so quickly. But would it be better for her?
“You’re still committed for tomorrow,” she said as if she read his mind. “I don’t think the world will fall apart if you stay for supper tonight, too.”
A smile tugged reluctantly at one side of his lips “You don’t, huh?”
“No,” she said seriously “And you would make Nick very happy.”
“Please stay,” Nick said on cue
He reached out and ruffled Nick’s hair. The fright had faded from the boy’s eyes, but it hadn’t left Ryan’s own heart What right had he to bring trouble to them both? And yet he needed them fiercely, both of them They’d colored his black-and-white world with brightness, even radiance
He surrendered, although he promised himself he would leave before Nick went to bed. “Only if I can help.”
“You are among the wounded at the moment,” she replied. “Which reminds me ..”
She went to the phone and started to dial a number. In two strides, Ryan reached her and took it from her, replacing it in the cradle
“Think of the publicity,” he said “And you know the police can’t do anything”
“It would put them on notice,” she said
“If they believed me, which they won’t You didn’t see it In the meantime, new headlines, more ammunition for your neighbors. I’ll be more careful from now on ”
She reluctantly took her hand from the phone. He knew how she felt. She was a lawyer An officer of the court. Lawyers reported crimes. He knew that. But he also knew reporting it would cause more trouble for her He could take care of himself, and the attack was aimed solely at him
Her eyes were uncertain as she looked at him, then conviction took over her voice. “We have to And maybe the papers won’t learn of it.”
“And maybe the sun won’t rise.”
She looked at him with those wide gray eyes of hers.
“Please,” he said “It could endanger my parole.”
She surrendered then, as he knew she would. He hated using that weapon, pitting her sense of duty against her loyalty to him
Meanwhile, he would start looking for a new place to live Maybe Johnny would know of something.
Nick was watching them from the table, although Ryan hoped he couldn’t hear the words His eyes went from one to another as if he felt the strain in the room Of course, he felt the tension. Remnants of fear probably lingered in his mind, too The realization was like a knife in his gut
Ryan wondered whether he should leave then, at that moment, for Nick’s sake, but it was as if Julie knew exactly what he was thinking She shook her head
So he did the next best thing he could think of. He tried to break the heavy cloak of tension smothering them He took a seat across from Nick and held out his arms The boy fairly stumbled to get into them
“Now,” Ryan said, “what did you do in school today?”
Nick screwed up his face, trying to remember. “Pitcher. We drew pitchers. I drew one of a turkey. Wanna see it?”
Ryan nodded, and the boy ran off to his room. He rose, feeling stiff and sore and raw all over He stood for a moment, then took the three strides to where Julie was patting out hamburgers He watched her long slender fingers season the meat, then plop them into a
hot frying pan where they started sizzling
Then she turned to look up at him, worry she hadn’t shown in front of her son crinkling the edges of her eyes “Did you mention those flashes of memory to anyone?”
Understanding immediately, he shook his head. He posed no danger to anyone, not that he could see.
“I can’t believe an irate citizen would do something like that”
Neither could he He hadn’t even talked to anyone recently except Johnny and Tim and Julie. Except Banyon.
He remembered Banyon’s pointed questions, his own evasions. Had the detective thought he’d remembered more than he had? If so, had he told anyone? All of it seemed far-fetched. Maybe Julie and he were reading more into it than the incident deserved. Maybe they wanted to read more into it because it might indicate his innocence. And maybe not Maybe one of his old partners in crime wanted him silenced.
Or maybe it was just an accident He wished he could believe that.
He tried to twist his thoughts back to the moment. The aroma of cooking meat smelled enticing, at least it would if he weren’t so full of doubts. So was the light, flowery scent that hovered around Julie Her face was close to his, her cheeks red from the gas heat of the stove and her eyes misting from cutting onions. He wanted to lean over.
“Ryan?” Nick’s childish voice broke the spell.
Ryan moved away from Julie. Ignoring the bruises and cuts, he picked up the boy who was clutching a large, colorful picture of a turkey. Ryan’s arms held him tight for a moment So small. So vulnerable. So trusting. So prepared to love everyone
Nick put his arms around Ryan’s neck, and pressed his face against Ryan’s cheek, hugging tight. The affectionate, spontaneous gesture slid straight into Ryan’s heart.
“I don’t ever want you to leave us,” Nick said, his little fist still clutching his treasure.
Ryan’s hands tightened around him for a moment. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave this house, nor the apartment footsteps away. He closed his eyes, wishing away the emptiness of his mind, the disaster of his past, the puzzles of the present, the uncertainties of the future He wanted so much And the hell of it was that the two people he wanted were within reach. But what would his longing cost them?
Home For Christmas Page 21
