The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay - Volume 1: Gallery of Rogues

by Mike Cervantes

  Calvin clamored dizzily back to his feet. “That was dirty pool.” He clicked his tongue, feigning disappointment.

  “This is only a sport for one of us,” The Jay replied. “Have you forgotten Master Crane’s most important lesson: that in battle your whole body must be a weapon?”

  “I have not!” He brought both his swords in a forward thrust, only to find them both yanked down by the hook end of The Jay’s umbrella. Another ‘hook’ came around in the form of The Jay’s fist across his jaw. “You seem to have become quite dependent on those swords.”

  It was about this time that The Scarlet Derby returned home. Still in costume he’d re-entered his home by way of the cellar door leading back into his workshop. Walking swiftly down the stone steps, he’d removed his hat and loosened his bow tie. That is when he started hearing the faint noises of a struggle. He gave a quiet sigh, returned his Derby to his head, and worked on re-fastening his tie as he jaunted upstairs.

  “So I guess this must be the neighborhood kid who pulled the prank,” The Derby asked drolly upon seeing The Jay wrestled to the ground, still holding her umbrella horizontal to deflect downward blows from Calvin’s katana blades.

  The Jay sighed “You’re not about to start gloating, are you? I don’t think I’m in a position to hear it.”

  Calvin’s head darted up from the melee and he gave a frustrated groan. “Two heroes!? I’ve already had my hands full with one-” Calvin was cut off with a sweep to his knees, knocking him onto his back.

  The Jay stood up and smoothed down skirt with her free hand. “Suppose he might also be your smash and grabber?” She asked.

  Noticing the twin katana blades The Derby intoned “I do now.” Tucking a hand beneath his cape, he laid it across one of the many test tubes he had lined across the bandolier on his chest. Addressing the fallen Calvin he said “It’d do you quite well to stay down, unless you would prefer to have your sinuses filled with tear gas.”

  “I have yet another proposal…” Calvin said in a tone as elevated as The Derby’s. He then raised a small tin whistle to his lips and blew a single shrill note. Through the doors, the other windows, and down the steps came several other men dressed in all black with hooded faces. “Search the entire house! Don’t give up until you find the eye!”

  Instinctively, The Jay moved behind The Derby’s back, and they raised their weapons against their incoming attackers. “Well, this has become quite out of control.” The Derby said while swinging the ball of his cane in the faces of a pair of advancing men.

  “He never had henchmen before!” The Jay countered, both with her words and with a swing of her umbrella across the stomach of another pair. She saw her husband move towards the stairs, and with her back still to him, she began to walk backwards behind him. “Do you have a plan?”

  “I would if I had any idea what he was after.” The Derby removed a vial from his bandolier and tossed it like a grenade towards the crowd of henchmen below. Clearly it was a vial of itching powder, as the henchmen caught in the cloud halted their pursuit to scratch at their black clothing and masks.

  “My jewelry box,” The Jay replied. “He’s going to go for my jewelry box!”

  The Derby and Jay reached the top of the stairs facing the entrance to their bedroom. Amidst a cluster of other masked men, Calvin stood with The Jay’s jewelry box in one hand. In his other, he pinched a yellowish-green gem in the shape of a teardrop. “At last, I have it! Men, we shall now vanish!”

  “Oh no you don’t!” The Jay began to speak, but in an instant a bright flash of light forced her to shield her eyes, and just as soon as they’d all appeared, Calvin and his many followers had completely disappeared. The Derby came up behind the Jay, blinking rapidly and attempting to chase the spots out of his eyes. “Today I’ve experienced the sensation of seeing a thousand flash bombs go off all at once.”

  “Calvin always was a sight for sore eyes.” The Jay said distantly.

  “You seem to know quite a bit about the man who just destroyed our home.” The Derby said flatly.

  “It’s…It’s nothing, dear. Maybe I should start cleaning.”

  “Mary Jane,” The Derby had a firm tone to his voice. The Jay wasn’t entirely sure she’d ever heard him speak to her that way. “Thanks to this ‘visitor’ of yours, our house is in shambles, and a jewel thief is running around with one of your family’s gemstones. The moment you could dismiss all this as nothing is long past, and perhaps it had better benefit you to tell me what you know.”

  “It’s a personal matter.” The Jay replied defensively. “Calvin attacked my family a long time ago. I was…hoping you wouldn’t have had to get involved in my vendetta.”

  The Derby sighed. When he spoke again his words were a lot gentler “I’m sorry that this wicked person has caused you so much pain in the past.”

  “I appreciate your sympathy, but…”

  “I also know that I made you a promise that if we were married, I’d never get in the way of your duty as The Midnight Jay.”

  “I’m glad you understand that, but…” The Jay said faintly.

  “But also,” The Derby continued “I’m your husband, and I can’t just stand by and let you suffer this alone. There was a time you had to take down this criminal by yourself, but that time is past. I’m here, and I can help you, but you’re going to have to let me.” After a weary sigh he added. “Please let me help you.”

  The Jay lowered her head. She looked down at the hems of her dress, and at her arms, one of which still held the umbrella she always carried with her as her weapon. In that moment she could feel the weight of it all, her responsibilities as The Midnight Jay, and her oath to take down this single criminal, sitting heavy on her shoulders.

  Raising her head, she saw The Scarlet Derby, but she found herself looking through him, past his mask, into the eyes of Thaddeus Hedwater. This was the man who she wed in a whirlwind, or at least that’s what her family and members of the upper crust had told her. They all thought he was unworthy of her. He was nothing but a shiftless dreamer, a gung-ho Yankee chemist with some pie in the sky ideals. There was something great about him that she admired though. He was so…optimistic and so…full of faith in the world. The Jay always thought she put on the mask because certain things in her life had gone wrong. Even though Thaddeus had kept his origins a secret so far, she could somehow tell he didn’t have that same burden. She admired him for that. Perhaps she’d even say that is why she decided to marry him.

  Reaching at her side, she pulled out a tattered brown photo and handed it to The Derby. It was of an admittedly handsome young man with straight combed hair and a wide waxed moustache. “His name is Royce Calvin,” The Jay explained. “When I was about fourteen years old, he used to be our family’s carriage driver. Around this time I was already disguising myself as Midnight Jay, but I wasn’t a crime fighter yet: I used it as a way to sneak out of the house and attend fancy social parties without my parents knowing. One night, I had come back from such an event and I saw Calvin locked in a stand-off with my nanny...”

  The Derby interjected. “Who was also your martial arts master, Master Crane of Te Rah Ning, correct?”

  The Jay nodded. “I hid behind a nearby wall and listened in to their conversation. I didn’t get much except that a long time ago he was also Master Crane’s student. Then they fought. Calvin won handily, and then stole one of gems in my family’s collection, the Eye of Cleopatra. The next morning, Master Crane bid farewell and traveled back to Hong Kong, in shame for not being to protect our house from Calvin’s misdeed. Meanwhile my family took a major financial hit for having lost an irreplaceable artifact.”

  “If he stole the gem back then, why would he come back?” The Derby asked.

  “Cleopatra had more than one eye. Shortly after Calvin had stolen the first, my family acquired the second, and I took it upon myself to keep it protected this time.”

  “I see now why this was so important to you: You must feel awful
to just lose another eye to Calvin again.” The Derby said sadly.

  “Well I would have,” The Jay mused “If he hadn’t taken the wrong gem.”

  “Don’t tell me: Cleopatra actually has three eyes.”

  The Jay chortled “Not quite dear. The eye in my jewelry box is a fake. Just have a look at the back of the photo.”

  The Derby turned around the photo in his hand, and sure enough, a gem resembling the one Calvin had stolen was attached to the photo with a single drop of rubber cement. “So, where does that leave us now?”

  “Well, it is rumored that both eyes are actually keys. The lock exists on a bust of Cleopatra that contains millions of dollars of as of yet undiscovered ancient gemstones. I haven’t the faintest idea where that would be, though.”

  “The Constable and I had already deduced that one,” The Derby said valiantly. “We’d better hurry, for he might be there as we speak.”

  O O O

  Moments later, The Derby and Jay found themselves standing inside of the Victoria and Albert museum. They were standing at either side of the bust of Cleopatra, anticipating the arrival of The Jay’s nemesis. It was eerily silent, and that of course eventually led to talking.

  “He certainly is taking his sweet time getting here.” The Jay said idly.

  “Yes, well, we were fortunate enough to have the police let us in.” The Derby explained. “He’d likely be having a much harder time getting through a heavily guarded museum after hours.”

  The Jay nodded, and then it was silent for a bit longer until The Derby asked. “So, this Calvin, does he know you’re-”

  The Jay shook her head. “As a teen I was just a debutante brat. There was nothing he could have used to link the younger me to Midnight Jay.”

  “I don’t know about that.” The Derby mused.

  “Why not?” The Jay said pointedly.

  “Well, you’ve obviously had the martial arts training. Also, the fact that you’re so willing to defend the honor of Master Crane is a trait noble enough to paint you as a hero.” The Derby reasoned.

  “Crooks like Calvin would never notice such things.” The Jay said distantly. “But I’m glad they’re not lost on you.”

  “You know it’s not your fault…That your master had gone away, right?”

  It grew silent after that moment, and somehow The Derby knew that after asking a question like that, the silence was going to linger. A few more minutes passed before the two heroes perked up at the sound of glass crashing several floors above his head. “That was the third floor window!” The Derby declared.

  “So predictable…” The Jay said grimly, and the two dashed upstairs. Reaching the top of the steps, they found several more black-clothed henchmen as well as Calvin himself. He was now dressed in ornate metallic samurai armor painted in a translucent blue on the chest plate and corners of the helmet, with long fin-shaped blades on the gauntlets and shoulders. His face was covered with a metal mask with a fanged fish-mouth engraved across the surface.

  “So, Calvin,” The Jay said wryly. “Is this you decked in the symbols of your new clan, or is this just an extension of your childish attempt to imitate Asian culture as you so love to do?”

  “You’re as insolent as always, Midnight Jay.” Calvin replied, brandishing his twin katana. “This armor is symbolic of the massive bladed fish along the coast of Hokkaido, who survive the coldest of waters and the harshest of nature. We are the order of the Silver Fish, and I am their leader, Suzu Maguro!”

  “Suzu Maguro? You’re the Tin Tuna?” The Jay raised an eyebrow at Calvin’s revelation. The Derby, meanwhile took the opportunity to burst into a fit of laughter.

  “Oh really?! That’s what Suze Magooze means!? Oh lordy! Have a look at the canned lunch meat! I swear-“

  The Derby’s laughter was cut off when The Tin Tuna punched him square in the chest. The Derby slid down a single flight of stairs until he reached the bottom, laying his back the whole way.

  The Jay simply leaned over the banister and shouted “Perhaps it was unwise to mock the heavily armored martial artist.”

  “I gathered.” The Derby coughed.

  Calvin gave a chortle. “That is the one good thing about you heroes: you’re always good for a bit of pre-crime comedy.”

  “Well, in that case, I’m sure you’ll find this hilarious,” The Jay said as she raised the jewel up to Calvin’s eyes.

  He gave an audible gasp. “The Eye!? But that’s impossible!”

  “I’m surprised a world-renowned gem thief hasn’t figured by now that the Eye of Cleopatra they were carrying was made entirely of glass.” The Jay replied venomously.

  Calvin growled as he crushed the fake gem in his fist. “You’ve interfered in my affairs for the last time, Midnight Jay. Take her, men! Don’t give her a moment to even breathe until the eye is ours!”

  The Jay had the good sense to start retreating from the advancing horde of clansmen, who with matched amounts of agility took down the stairs after her. The Derby clamored up to a seated position, still shaken from the fall. “I hope this means I’ve been forgotten about…”

  “I think not.” Calvin growled as he scooped The Derby up by the lapels and marched with him downstairs, taking the precaution of removing his belt of potions and leaving it on the staircase behind them.

  The Jay made her way down to the first floor of the museum leaving the unconscious bodies of many of Calvin’s henchmen spread apart in several directions. She was sure she had The Tin Tuna beaten pretty soundly until she heard the call of “Hold!” from the staircase. Calvin walked triumphantly down, still holding The Scarlet Derby by the lapels and one of his katana blades at his neck. “I’m sure that, being a hero and all, you know exactly how this little scenario plays out.”

  “Don’t give in, Jay!” The Derby strangled to say “Think of what Master Crane would have done!”

  The Jay gave a groan. “I really wish you hadn’t said that, dear.”

  “Now be a good little girl and bring me that bust of Cleopatra.” Calvin slyly intoned. The Jay slowly moved backwards towards the case, and smashed the glass with her umbrella. Scooping up Cleopatra by the back of her head, she placed her gem in the statue’s left eye and held it out for Calvin. “Here you are. Now drop The Derby.”

  “Gladly…” Calvin dropped The Derby in a heap on the floor and took the bust from The Jay’s hands. He chortled, pulling the other Eye of Cleopatra from a bag dangling from his neck, and placing it in the right eye of the sculpture.

  “At last, after years of struggling against the forces of law and fairness, the riches within this ancient sculpture are finally mine!” Calvin excitedly swung open the hinged face of the bust. Suddenly, He was sprayed by a white, powdery smoke. He coughed, and then began to cough harder and harder, doubling forward on all fours. He yanked the metal mask from his face, gasping for air, until he finally doubled over in front of the two heroes.

  “What!? What just? How?” The Jay looked stunned and speechless, which made the still fractured Derby chuckle a little.

  “That’s one good thing about the ancient Egyptians: they know their way around a booby trap.” The Derby reached over and picked up the head. After examining it for a moment, he took out a folded piece of paper and opened it. Then he handed it over to The Jay. “It’s for you…”

  The Jay took the letter, and started to read:

  Mary Jane,

  If you’re reading this letter I would like to congratulate you on finally solving the case. I had learned that you were sneaking out at night against the wishes of your parents, and I managed to lure Calvin into where I suspected you’d be hiding the night of the heist. I had planted the smoke trap in order to incapacitate him and leave him for capture the day he’d attempt to come back for what was hidden inside Cleopatra’s statue.

  I just want to let you know, that I did not decide to leave because I had failed to subdue Calvin the first time. I left because I knew that the little girl of fourteen who was i
n my care had grown into a fine young woman. You’ve learned all that I’ve been able to teach you, so the time had come for me to move on. I know you have within you all the strength and wisdom to protect your family’s fortune, and perhaps do even more. You will know for now, and into the future, that you are the greatest thing I’ve ever achieved in my long career as a master of martial arts. As long as I live, I will always be proud of you.

  With much love,

  Master Crane of Te Rah Ning

  P.S. The gems are buried under the largest rose bush in the garden.

  “So, what did the Master tell you? All good things, I hope.” The Derby said idly as he finally clamored back onto his feet.

  “Oh, never mind, dear.” She said as she dabbed the warm, happy, tears forming under her mask.

  O O O

  The next morning, Chief Constable O’Gratin gave a knock at the front door of the home of Thaddeus Hedwater and his wife Mary Jane. Mary Jane was the one to come to the door, looking a little weary despite being fully dressed and with her hair placed just right. “Oh, good morning Constable.”

  “Good morning, Mary Jane.” The Constable cleared his throat, and then continued “I had heard from The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay that your home was broken into last night. Is everything okay?”

  “Oh, everything is fine.” Mary Jane dismissed. “Nothing was taken except for the gem that I’m sure the heroes have already recovered.”

  “Indeed.” The Constable poked his head sideways in the doorway. “You wouldn’t mind if I still had a look around to be sure?”

  “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,” Mary Jane stammered, holding herself between the door and the Constable’s wandering gaze. “Uh, it’s just that, Thaddeus woke up this morning feeling very ill, and I wouldn’t want you to catch it as well.”

  “I see, well. I wouldn’t want to impose on Thaddeus if that were the case.” The Constable tipped his hat, and began to move away from the door.

  “Wait,” Mary Jane held out her hand, stopping The Constable’s retreat for a moment. “I have something for you: The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay left this along with a note, saying that it was a means to clear some old family business.”