The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay - Volume 1: Gallery of Rogues

by Mike Cervantes

  She handed the Constable a small burlap pouch. The Constable opened the pouch and gave an audible gasp, shutting it again. “Oh my lands! These are the missing gemstones from Cleopatra’s bust!”

  Mary Jane gave an affirming nod. “I’m sure that would be enough to make up for the loss of The Eye of Cleopatra so many years ago.”

  “Oh it does, it does! I’d best run this back to the police station. Please tell Thaddeus to get well soon.” And with that, The Constable was on his way to police headquarters holding the resolution to an ancient cold case in his hot little hands.

  Mary Jane grinned and ducked back behind the door. She picked up the silver tray she was preparing when The Constable came to the door, and took it the rest of the way up stairs. Thaddeus was lying in bed, his chest and arms covered in bandages from the fall he’d taken in the museum. He grinned as he pushed himself up into a seated position, ready to accept what she had prepared.

  “Are you feeling any better?” Mary Jane asked drolly.

  “Sure, now I feel only slightly like I’ve been run over by a carriage.” Thaddeus said as he scooped sugar from a spoon into his tea. “There’s something I do need to ask you though.”

  “What’s that?” Mary Jane raised an eyebrow.

  Thaddeus inhaled, as though bracing himself for another trip down a staircase, and then he breathed “Do you regret our getting married so quickly?”

  Mary Jane stood there for a few moments, completely stunned. She gave a weary groan and droned. “You find the most awful time to pick these fights, dear.”

  “It’s for logistical purposes. If you ever wanted to walk away, my being unable to move would be an appropriate time.” Thaddeus grinned and played with the crumpet on the tray. “I simply reasoned that since I seem to be unable to memorize one-hundred fencing maneuvers, and I rely too much on my gadgets, and that little stunt with the nitroglycerin bomb could have gotten us both killed…”

  Mary Jane gave an exasperated sigh. “Thaddeus, I wasn’t expecting Calvin to show up at our door with a pack of martial artist zealots. If you’d respected my wishes, and left me to fight this alone, I would have been killed myself.”

  Thaddeus’ smile morphed from smugness to a sudden look of remorse. He looked down and folded his hands instead of continuing to play with his food. Mary Jane walked to the corner of the bed and sat, wrapping an arm around a long bedpost.

  “You’re not the only fool in this relationship.” Mary Jane continued. “In my youth, my parents were always gallivanting off to some important social function. So much that I never even really knew who they were. In their place I had Master Crane, who trained me until I was able to defend against the whole cruel world on my own. Since the very night I chose to become the Midnight Jay, I’ve been alone. The lesson I need to learn most of all is that with you, I’m not alone any longer.”

  Thaddeus, his expression unchanged, nodded sagely. “Yes, well, that is exactly what I thought you would say.” He made an oddly smug face and took a dart of a sip from his tea cup.

  Mary Jane laughed, and nudged her husband to the left of the bed, sitting beside him. “Make me a bit of room, dear, and do pour me a cup of that tea…”

  MAESTRO BELLACO

  The mighty Thames River, reaching over two-hundred thirty-six miles long, is the longest river in all of England. It channels across the whole of England crossing many of its cities, including London. It is an essential body of water, supplying a boundary and transport through several cities, as well as a marshland that provides home for most of England’s native flora and fauna. To its citizens, The River Thames is a source for waterside entertainment. It has kindled the country’s love for the sports of rowing, sailing, and kayaking.

  It was on one fateful weekend at this famed waterside that we found Thaddeus Hedwater and his wife, Mary Jane, enjoying a relaxing private moment. In their identities as secret defenders of the city, The Scarlet Derby and Midnight Jay, they had experienced many daring trials at the hands of London’s many villains. But with those affairs in order, the duo were happy to take a respite at this most famed of London’s natural wonders.

  “Ah, it is an uncharacteristically beautiful afternoon,” Thaddeus sighed as he dipped his fishing rod into the edge of the river, “not a drop of rain to be seen.”

  “Certainly dear, and there’s a thousand different water sports you could attempt, though you wish to spend this weekend attempting to fish in the middle of the city.” Mary Jane shook her head. She knelt, opening her picnic basket and setting a pair of plates on a nearby blanket. “You know, we Londoners only just got done using the Thames as an open sewer.”

  “You obviously don’t know much about fishing,” Thaddeus said haughtily “I used to do the exact same thing in the East River back in New York. You see, catching a fish where there are lots of fish is child’s play. Catching a fish where there’s just a few fish is a true measure of skill.”

  “So, how many fish did you catch in your home, dear?” Mary Jane asked drolly.

  “Oh, just about none.” Thaddeus sighed. “Wait a minute, I see something!” Without warning, Thaddeus made a perfect swan dive into the river emerging a minute later and shouted. “I’ve got something, Mary Jane, I’ve got something!”

  “You’ve got a lot of trouble if someone finds you swimming in the river!” Mary Jane stood and walked to the river, where she could get a closer look at her husband making a spectacle of himself.

  Thaddeus stepped up onto the shore, triumphantly holding a large fish in both his arms. “See! I told you I’d catch a fish!”

  “You’re a regular grizzly bear, dear,” Mary Jane said dully as she continued to set out their picnic.

  “Looks like some sort of halibut,” Thaddeus peered inside the fish after lowering its lip with his finger. “Suppose you come down here and give me a kiss for the halibut?” He grinned.

  “No thanks, dear, I have a haddock,” Mary Jane rolled her eyes, visibly losing patience at all this silliness. “Are you coming up to eat?”

  “Wait a second,” Thaddeus looked down at the shore just behind his soaked shoes and socks. On the surface of the water, several fish floated past the water and onto the surface, all of them dead. “This is peculiar. The river must be somehow polluted.”

  “I could have told you that,” Mary Jane sighed. “Come along, now. No more of this fish nonsense.”

  Thaddeus emerged from the river, holding several of the dead fish in his arms with several more crammed deep into his pockets. “I’m going to need to take these to the lab for testing!”

  Mary Jane simply rolled her eyes and began packing up her picnic supplies.

  O O O

  Back in the lab, Thaddeus busied himself over a dissected fish, trying to discover the cause of its death. Wearing a monocle attached to a lever, attached to the center of a brown leather headband, he placed the fish under a dish-sized magnifying glass, magnifying his subject a thousand times. After an intensive search, Thaddeus extracted a sample of strange fluid from the internal organs of the fish, painting it onto the surface of a rectangular glass. “Fascinating.”

  “What did you find?” Mary Jane asked as she leaned against a wall of the lab.

  “I’ve never seen a substance like this. It has properties of petroleum and lead. The same as crude oil, only more refined.”

  “So, someone is attempting to poison the wildlife by tossing refined oil into the river?”

  “No, that doesn’t make sense. A compound like this would be too valuable just to throw away.” Thaddeus suddenly lit a match and tossed it over the rectangular cell. A flame and a puff of smoke rose from the glass. “It’s highly flammable, at least as much as a fragment of coal. Perhaps it’s a type of fuel.”

  “A fuel,” Mary Jane blinked, “So then it’s being used to power some machine?”

  “Indeed. The question is: what kind of machine?”

  It was then that Mary Jane took a sideways glance at the grandfather clock in
her husband’s lab. She jumped forward, away from the wall. “Oh gosh, is that the time?”

  “Accurate to the very millisecond, dear,” Thaddeus replied, as he still focused on analyzing the substance before him. “Why do you ask?”

  “I nearly forgot there is a benefit social in an hour that I absolutely must be at.” Mary Jane spun around, lifting her housedress as she carried herself up the steps to the foyer. Halfway, she stopped and turned back to her husband. “Do you care to join me?”

  “So I may stand around your hoity-toity rich friends and be reminded through the night about how I am completely unworthy of you? I think not. I’m going to suit up and start investigating this occurrence. The sooner I can figure out where this substance is coming from, the sooner I can put a stop to this.”

  “Suit yourself dear,” Mary Jane ran up to her bedroom to change into a more formal dress. She spent her very dwindling time buttoning the many fasteners across her neck and chest. She thought perhaps it’d be helpful to hire a maid for dressing. She could certainly afford it, but it’d be impossible for her to keep her ‘little secret’ with some hired help snooping about.

  Dressed to her satisfaction, she stepped out on the street where she hailed a carriage to take her onto the event.

  Once Mary Jane stood on the floor of the wealthy mansion where he benefit was held, she found herself silent as the many other notable members of England’s upper crust spoke loudly and lengthily about their various fortunes. As a servant passed with a tray of wine flutes, she took one as she sauntered vaguely towards the center of the room. While she wasn’t as against this lifestyle as her husband was, she admitted it had lost its charm since she got married, and for reasons other than the fact that nearly anyone in this room could toss her a snide remark about her husband the “eccentric” Yankee chemist.

  “Not quite the soiree’ I expected,” A voice from the left of Mary Jane spoke idly. She turned and saw her very close friend Chief Constable O’Gratin. He was holding his tobacco pipe the same way Mary Jane held her wine flute. “To my great surprise, the gentleman of the house doesn’t even own a phonograph.”

  “You’re a pleasant sight. Here, your collar is sticking out,” Mary Jane stopped to straighten the Constable’s clothing a little.

  “You’re quite the doting one. I suspect that means your husband isn’t about to absorb the attention,” The Constable made his accusation in a manner that was pleasant yet still fitting for a police officer.

  “No, he isn’t,” Mary Jane dismissed, “He was too pre-occupied with a project of his to attend.”

  “It’s just as well. His presence would only infuriate many of the people here,” The Constable shook his head regrettably. “I’ve taken the time to appreciate the man’s subtle charms, but a lot of the folks around here wouldn’t be able to look past their noses long enough to do the same.”

  “If I may ask, what are you doing here yourself?” Mary Jane continued in an idle tone.

  “There’s an important foreign dignitary on the grounds. I was asked here to keep a watch on him.” The Constable explained.

  “You’re not derelict in those duties?”

  “Not at all, he’s right over there,” The constable pointed with the tip of his pipe.

  Mary Jane looked over and saw a very thin man with a bird-like nose and pointed moustache. He was dressed in a black shirt, with a lavender vest underneath and a red rose in his lapel. He stood with his pronounced nose in the air, holding one arm akimbo and the other holding up a wine glass, making a wide “V” shape with his extended arm as long as the one at his waist.

  “He’s certainly an interesting looking fellow,” Mary Jane said, airing out the faintest hint of sarcasm.

  “His name is Hector Bellaco,” The Constable explained. “He’s one of the ambassadors to the Spanish monarchy, and a real hoity-toity aristocrat to boot. You know the type: fancies himself an artist, claims to be on the bleeding edge of some miraculous concept we plebeian civil servants can’t grasp.”

  “My ears are burning, Señor Constable!”

  Mary Jane looked from the Constable to Bellaco, who had apparently walked up to the two of them as they were talking. Mary Jane was surprised: there were very few people on this planet that could sneak up to her.

  “I should apologize for The Constable,” Mary Jane said apologetically. “He was only speaking off-handedly to a close friend.”

  “I understand completely.” Bellaco said dismissively. “I know better than to expect a kind word from someone asked to babysit me for an evening.”

  The Constable was silent, not wanting to make the situation any more heated, or embarrassing for him. He did, however, raise an eyebrow of concern when he saw the Spaniard take Mary Jane’s hand and give it a kiss. “I don’t believe I’ve yet had the opportunity to meet you, señora.”

  “Mary Jane Hedwater, the pleasure is all yours, I’m certain.” Mary Jane took her hand away, holding it aloft in wonder whether the strange foreigner had actually seen the diamond ring on her finger. He simply grinned, and tilted his head back, putting a hand to his chin.

  “You know, I only recall hearing of one prominent Mary Jane. She was the holder of the Preston millions.”

  “I am exactly the same person,” Mary Jane replied “Aside from my recent marriage. I don’t know much about Spanish custom, but here in England it’s pretty gauche to kiss the hand of a married woman.”

  “Is that so?” Bellaco scratched the back of his head, fortunately seeming a bit embarrassed as well. “I’m certain whoever was able to take your hand is a very lucky man.”

  “I like to think so,” Mary Jane said with a half grin.

  “And where is this husband of yours now?” Bellaco asked in a subtle tone of voice.

  “Oh, he’s back home, probably still just in his workshop, tinkering,” Mary Jane said just as casually.

  “He doesn’t respect you!” Bellaco said pointedly.

  Mary Jane scoffed. “That’s a rather gross assumption to make.”

  “No, really, to be in the presence of a woman as beautiful as you, not desiring to walk to the very ends of the Earth with one so lovely. Any man taking you even the tiniest bit for granted is proof of how most unworthy he is.”

  Mary Jane shook her head. “You’re making too much of an issue of it. My husband merely prefers his crafts to, admittedly droll, social events like the one we’re standing in.”

  “That only further proves my point. A true man of genius should be able to see the potential in all things,” Bellaco leaned in close to Mary Jane and whispered. “I happen to have a bit of my own craft on display upstairs if you’d like to see exactly what I’m talking about.”

  Mary Jane had a troubled look on her face. There was something off about this gentleman, something really, REALLY off. But she admitted, she was rather curious as to what the designs of this self-declared artist were, and she was in need of a new perspective on these little social events. She decided to give him a chance, knowing that if he decided to get fresh, she’d show him the ‘craft’ she’d learned since becoming Midnight Jay. “Very well, Mister Bellaco, you’ve talked me into it. Lead the way.”

  O O O

  Meanwhile, back at the Thames River, Thaddeus, now in costume as The Scarlet Derby, prepared his investigation. Once he was there he could silently admit to himself that he was this particular problem had to do with a large body of water. It gave him an opportunity to try out his latest invention: an underwater breathing apparatus.

  It was an ingenious design, if he could say so himself. It fit neatly on him in the form of a backpack with two wheels attached to a pair of levers tied to his legs. When Thaddeus moved his legs, it pumped the accordion shaped bellows up and down. The bellows filtered air through the case into a pair of rubber hoses which bent in an arc along the sides of the box on both ends and converged into a small mouthpiece. Putting the piece to his lips, he gave a blow, inhaling the air blown back into his lungs by the machin
e in the back. From the force it took him to kick back the air in his invention, he could tell it was going to take a lot of physical force on his part to work the mechanism, and he hoped he’d be able to do that AND manage to keep himself swimming briskly underwater.

  Putting aside the need to wonder any longer, The Derby held his nose and took a step over the surface of the river, slipping deftly into the water with the same splash an ice cube makes when it falls in a drink.

  Once fully submerged, The Derby swam about the Thames in search of anything suspicious. His breathing apparatus was working swimmingly so far, though he’d somewhat miscalculated the force it would take to keep an object full of air and made of wood from just floating him back up to the surface. The other thing he noticed was what his wife had mentioned before about the condition of the river: it was downright filthy.

  As he swam to the river floor he noticed a very dark, cloudy, mass swirling around in the center of the water, that had to be more of the strange chemical he’d found. The Derby swam further down, trying to meet with the cloud face to face. He pushed a hand into the center of the cloud, feeling something soft and slick just under the surface.

  It was a dome. It was transparent except for the dark inky black of this cloudy chemical substance swirling around inside of it. Was it made of glass? No, just like the chemical itself it was a substance nobody had ever seen before. ‘Curiouser and curiouser,’ The Derby thought as he moved down the structure. The dome part of the device tapered down into the shape of a funnel, which was buried into the sea floor, possibly protruding down several more feet into the ground. The two halves of the dome where fastened together by metal rivets, and it was from the narrow slit between the two domes that the chemical was leaking into the river.

  The Derby would have investigated further but at that moment he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. He spun around to find two men in heavy diver’s suits on either side of him, trying to muscle him away from his discovery. The Derby managed to thrash away but it didn’t take long for the divers to grab him by his arm and leg, keeping him from moving.