Black Hills Rebel

by A. C. Wilson

  As he sat there in his pickup hoping for some clarity, Randy wished he could just say the hell with it all and let her walk out the door. The reason he should seemed small to the reasons that he couldn’t. He loved Drew from the moment that boy was born and he had always wanted to be a friend even if he couldn’t be a father. He loved Nora’s family. The Johnsons’ had always been kind and fair. Never a moment of judgment when wild gossip was flying around town about Nora and him. Then, of course, there was Nora. The woman who played such a huge role in his adult life.

  She was like the sunshine to a dark day and just her smile could change the weather. Her long dark hair, her brooding personality and her fierce focus on Drew make her all the more appealing.

  If only she could focus on me like that. Randy ran his fingers through his hair, tossing his hat onto the passenger seat. He wondered what he would give to change their relationship for the better. Could it be changed? Seeing her with that damn singer last night nearly drove him mad with jealousy. Colt Cavanaugh was everything he wasn’t. Colt was a Country music god in tight blue jeans and the girls fell all over themselves at the sight of his smile. Some would faint dead away if he even shared one of those smiles exclusively with them. Colt had money, fame, and all the potential to be a big star. It was more than Randy could ever hope to offer Nora and Drew.

  Wiping the grit out of his eyes, Randy tried to get a grip. Lots of people went through this issue, didn’t they? Wasn’t it human nature to wonder what might have been or better yet, what could be? He was angry with Nora for not telling him sooner, but he didn’t think he could hate her for wanting more. His cell phone began to vibrate on the dash board and he hesitantly reached for it.

  Travis Johnson. Swallowing hard, Randy punched the button and put the phone to his ear.

  “Good morning, sir.” Randy shook his head at the crack in his voice. He wasn’t sure how long he could contain the madness he was feeling.

  “Good morning, Randy. Say you haven’t left for North Dakota yet, have you?” Travis waited while Randy played his answer through his head.

  “No, I haven’t left yet.” Randy didn’t feel like talking so he figured he should stay strictly to the point.

  “I need a couple of bulls picked up in North Platte, Nebraska tomorrow morning. Could you postpone your trip a day and run down there for me? I tried asking Garrett and Matt, but they each had something going on.” Travis’ voice changed in tone when he mentioned his boys. Already Randy knew something was up, but he didn’t know what. He wondered if it had something to do with the jealous display last night.

  “I guess I could do that. I’ll be over to hook up the trailer and grab the red diesel.” Randy figured that it would be best if he kept his answers brief and to the point.

  “Thank you so much. I’ll have the check ready for you to pick up.” Travis hung up the phone and Randy withdrew the device with a sigh.

  Well that was that. He could push his visit to his parent’s ranch further into the week. That would give him enough time to put some distance between Nora and himself. He couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t say something stupid if he were around and he definitely didn’t want to see Nora with Colt.

  Randy pulled around the side of the horse barn to park his blue Ford. He took out the keys and tossed them into the glove box. He wasn’t a big fan of locking his keys up and off of the beaten track, it seemed a better idea to leave them should someone need to borrow it. Making sure his windows were up tight and throwing his overnight bag onto his shoulder, Randy closed his door and headed to the back of the barn. A three-quarter ton Chevy diesel was waiting for him with the white cattle trailer already hitched. Opening the door of the newer pickup, Randy threw his bag into the back seat and crawled up inside. Turning the key he even noticed the gas tank was full. Taking his hat off and setting it on the dash, he cranked the engine and listened to the growling hum. He didn’t mind the long hours traveling to buy and sell stock. The quiet times helped him plan and plot his next move with Nora.

  So far you haven’t made good choices. No, he definitely hadn’t chosen the right path. He had stood by while she was trying to figure out how to leave him.

  I don’t want her to leave. He couldn’t quite bring himself to finish that sentence. There was more. There had to be more to this than fear of being alone. Pressing his lips together in irritation, Randy took out his sunglasses from the center console and slid them into place on his nose. Putting the truck into drive, he pulled the trailer in front of the Crossing Pines’ white house circled by a white picket fence. Travis was watching from the front porch and started down the walk when the truck stopped.

  “You must have been on the road when I talked to you.” Travis observed as he handed a white envelope through the window. Randy only nodded.

  “There’s an address in there for the transfer and a cashier’s check. Make sure the two bulls are sound before you load them and I want all the brand papers along with a bill of sale before they get that check.” Travis rattled his list off as Randy numbly nodded to each. He’d done this quite a few times as the Crossing Pines foreman. Travis still felt the need to reiterate the basics.

  Old habits are hard to break.

  “I can handle it. I’ll be back tomorrow sometime.” Randy put the papers in the center console and slid his seat belt into place. As he made to leave he noticed a devious gleam in his father-in-law’s blue eyes. Before he could ask just what that was about the passenger side door opened. Randy turned his head to see Garrett climbing in.

  “I hope you don’t mind. Dad said you were headed to North Platte and there is a horse I want to check out.” Garrett threw his duffle bag into the back seat and reached for his seat belt. Randy closed his eyes and inwardly shook his head.

  “The more the merrier.” Randy mumbled as he gave a quick nod to Travis.

  “See you tomorrow, boys.” Travis chuckled as he stepped back from the pickup and watched Randy pull out of the drive.

  They turned onto US Highway 385 South towards Chadron, Nebraska and neither of them had said a word since they left the ranch. Randy wasn’t quite sure what to say to Nora’s brother, Garrett. Sadly it felt a bit like treason even thinking about spilling his troubles to her family and then again, if anyone would understand the complexities of Nora, it would be the ones she grew up with.

  Randy signaled to his left to pass a slow going semi-trailer and once back in his lane, he set his cruise. There wasn’t a great many things between Hot Springs and North Platte. Lots of highway and prairie grass to be observed. Reaching up slightly, he switched on the radio and marveled that no one had turned the station since he’d been in it last. Travis was a great fan of the AM stations. Personally Randy couldn’t stand them.

  “So whose idea was this exactly?” Randy couldn’t contain the question any longer. There seemed to be so many forces working against him that he wasn’t entirely sure what was a threat and what was a gift. To give Garrett some credit, he looked a bit sorry.

  “Uh…it was more of a team effort, I guess.” Garrett cleared his throat and shifted in the seat. He pulled on the seat belt when it tightened against his chest. Randy nodded once and looked out the front window at the horizon. There wasn’t a cloud is sight.

  “So this wasn’t planned then?” Randy’s throat was dry and he reached for the Pepsi can Garrett had put in the cup holder.

  “Dad was planning on driving to North Platte, but after last night, we figured the distraction might be needed.” Garrett stressed “distraction”. Randy gritted his teeth. What he wanted was answers and distractions rarely supplied answers. Garrett Johnson wasn’t the type to be concerned by much. He minded his own business and worked hard at keeping his own counsel. It wasn’t a far stretch to think that his brother-in-law had drawn the short stick for this venture.

  “Is there even a horse you really wanted to look into?” Randy sighed and leaned back into the cloth seat.

  “There really is a horse, but I didn’t
have to look at him. Dad was going to pick it up along with the bulls.” Garrett grinned and took a drink of his Mountain Dew. Randy shook his head. Even with the radio on in the cab of the pickup, the silence and unanswered questions were so loud. Randy focused on driving down the two lane highway.

  “How much do you know?” Randy winced at the gruffness of his voice. It wasn’t Garrett’s fault that things had gone horribly wrong. In all fairness, Randy wanted to yell at Nora, but she wasn’t available.

  “As far as irrefutable proof, there isn’t any. Nora’s never told anyone about Drew’s father. It’s a secret we’ve all learned to accept and we figured she’d never tell us anyway. Although what happened last night seemed suspicious.” Garrett gestured with his hands and shrugged. Randy knew for certain that she had never told a soul about who the father to her child was and knowing that he was the first should have made him feel better. In a way perhaps it did, but he found himself wishing that he had never seen the man.

  “I believe she kept the secret to be kind to the man. She didn’t want to rearrange two lives so instead she changed her own.” Randy tried to speak diplomatically about Nora’s choice. In the end it was what they anticipated to be the truth.

  “We figured as much, but it hardened her. The choice she made for Drew and our family changed her.” Garrett stared out the front windshield at the hills dotted with sage brush and scrub. Randy nodded his head as he thought back to who Nora might have been before she was a single mother. Sadly he met her at just the same time that she found out about the baby.

  “I didn’t know her before she was pregnant with Drew. What was she like?” Randy asked quietly, his voice scratchy. He took another drink of his soda and waited for Garrett to answer.

  Does anyone really know Nora? Does she?

  “My sister was hell on wheels when we were younger. Mind you, she never let us forget who was the eldest.” Garrett raised his eye brows and grinned. “She was the first to try everything and even if it was for boys only, Nora did it. She was a ton of fun. She always played tricks on Matt and me. One time she put salt in our iced tea instead of sugar like Mom told her to do.” Garrett made a face. “I still can’t drink tea.”

  “Sounds like she was just a kid.” Randy pressed his lips together and watched yet another semi-trailer pass by.

  “She was still a kid in so many ways when she found out about Drew. It almost seemed like overnight she was an adult and all the simple fun of youth was gone. She’s different now, serious and sad.” Garrett grimaced and Randy felt a twisting of his heart. He felt at fault for that latter emotion. She’d fallen deeper into an unreachable place since they’d married.

  “Fuck, man! I don’t even know what she wants from me.” Randy banged the steering wheel with the heel of his palm. “I do know. She wants out of this marriage and for the life of me, I can’t let her go.” His chest heaved at the exertion of truth. It was out in the open. It was out of his head, where it had been festering for over a year now.

  Garrett took another drink of his soda and stayed quiet for a few minutes. The miles slipped by as they stayed on the highway going south. The Nebraska border came and went as did a few different radio stations. Skirting the Panhandle of Nebraska was an uneventful drive, but for a man nearly driven crazy by his own thoughts, it was an interminable ride.

  “Are you going to tell me what she said or make me guess? I warn you that I’m not good with my sister’s thoughts or any woman’s for that matter.” Garrett loudly whispered from the passenger seat. A glance at Garrett made Randy nearly smile. His blue eyes were widened some, but Randy wasn’t sure if it was curiosity or fear. After a moment, it was concluded to be both.

  “She’s not in love with me.” Randy stumbled over the words and much to his fear, they still felt like a dagger to the heart. Garrett’s gaze didn’t waver.

  “She didn’t say she didn’t love you at all though?” Garrett’s voice was even and lacking emotion. Randy shook his head no. Garrett shrugged his broad shoulders.

  “I gave her a week to figure out what she wants and if that means staying in our marriage.” Randy could feel a heat sneaking up his back. This part was almost embarrassing to admit. He’d never once made an ultimatum in his life to anyone. Garrett shook his head in disbelief. Randy glanced again at the road. The distance was empty of all traffic.

  “That was stupid!” Garrett’s voice rang with incredulity. Still Garrett’s head shook with disbelief. “Have you not yet understood that pushing Nora like that will only result in you being tossed to the curb? You just gave her a challenge to walk away.” Garrett growled and looked annoyed. His white scar on his cheek standing out.

  “She’s halfway out the door, Garrett.” Randy made to defend himself, but his brother-in-law wagged his finger at him.

  “Exactly! You basically held the door open and dared her to walk through it! Can you be such an idiot?” Garrett’s voice was nearly booming and Randy felt his anger rising at the words being tossed at him.

  “If I’m an idiot, it’s because I didn’t see her longing to be with someone else! I’ve spent nearly seven years of my life trying to make a woman love me…” Randy had to stop. He closed his mouth on the rest of his words. Still they seared his brain and unshed tears stung his eyes.

  “Randy, if you really love my sister and you want a fair shot at getting her to stay, you have to get back into this game.” Garrett’s voice was lowered and his jaw was tightened. Brilliant blue eyes spoke volumes, but Randy could only see Nora’s eyes. The same brilliant blue that danced in his dreams.

  “Did you hear nothing of what I said? She’s not in love with me.” Randy ground out the words with a fierce pain. Garrett glared back and didn’t retreat.

  “Shit, if that’s all you’re worried about you could have worse problems.” That cocky grin Garrett was famous for came out again and Randy wanted to knock it off his face. Garrett was the quiet and brooding one. So similar to his big sister in that way, but there was a mischief that ran deep in this family. Sometimes Randy could even see it in Matt.

  “Clearly, you think you know something that I do not. I’m all ears.” Randy took a deep breath and dialed down the anger. Garrett’s grin widened.

  “First, I need to know if you will do what you have to do to make Nora happy. That includes letting her go if it comes to it.” Garrett’s sudden seriousness slapped Randy and his attention was engaged quickly. It was clear that at this moment, he needed to make a decision.

  It is all or nothing. It had to be just that. He wanted all of Nora and if it wasn’t all of her, he had to cut her loose completely.

  “I’m in.” Randy nodded and gripped the wheel tighter. Garrett took a deep breath and leaned back into his seat. He pulled out his cell phone and began to punch some keys.

  “Good. You have less than a week to make my sister fall in love with you and that’s not going to be easy.” Garrett said as he flicked his finger across the screen. His phone chirped.

  “What?” Randy had to ask the blatantly obvious question on his mind. He was starting to doubt Garrett’s proficiency.

  “This is war. We are calling out all the stops on this one.” Garrett answered, but didn’t look at Randy.

  “What are you talking about?” Randy shook his head and turned his focus back to the road. Garrett grinned deviously.

  “I’m calling in a few favors. You’re going to need some help.” Garrett shrugged apologetically at Randy’s dirty look. “Sorry. You didn’t think I lost by default, did you?”

  The understanding that passed between the men in the truck was of a mutual cause. Both wanted Nora to be happy. Both hated to fail.

  “Let the conspiracy begin.” Randy mumbled as a smile slipped out. Garrett grinned, nodded, and continued to do whatever it was on his phone.

  ***

  “Hey, Mom.” Nora couldn’t remember being so nervous in her life, not even when she had to tell her parents that she was pregnant. Her heart was beating a wild
cadence in her chest.

  “Nora, how are you today?” Lacey’s voice was warm and cheerful.

  “I’ve had better days, but haven’t we all?” Nora answered, swallowing hard to push down the lump that had taken up residence in her throat.

  “Oh my dear that never seems to change.” Lacey sighed on the phone and Nora furrowed her brows. “It’s been a long time since you’ve told me you were happy.” There was the truth. Nora knew it was, but she hated that her family saw her struggling. Never had she tried to take from them when she could stand on her own two feet.

  “Well that’s sort of the reason I was calling.” Nora took a deep breath. “Could Drew stay with you and Dad for this week? Randy was going to take Drew with him to North Dakota, but the plans have changed.” Nora wanted to share more, but she was afraid to do it. Sometimes holding the cards to her chest was the only chance to do things her own way.

  “Of course he can stay, Nora. I saw Randy this morning, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to him.” Lacey’s voice held some deep concern and Nora felt it.

  Did Randy still look as angry and defeated as when he left her? It was impossible not to care what she did to him.

  “How did he look?” Nora said the words so softly she wondered if her mother had even heard them.

  “He didn’t look good, honey. You might tell me to mind my own business, but did something happen between you two?” Lacey was fishing, but it wasn’t in the way she normally did it. Nora hated that her mother had an opinion about everything and she seemed to share it without asking. This time it was couched differently. All of a sudden Lacey seemed to see the boundary even if she couldn’t exactly stay on the other side.

  “I have hurt him and I can’t give him the answers he needs to make it better.” Nora’s voice cracked in remembrance of how tortured Randy looked when she’d told him she wasn’t in love with him. Of all the words she could say and those caused the brutal, gaping wound.