Silent Sins: A Lotus House Novel: Book Five

by Audrey Carlan

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” Her mother yawns and waves a hand in front of her face.

  “It is true. He would be alive if you hadn’t gotten involved. You forced him to leave Sean because of his sexual orientation and how that would look to Father. Hannon idolized him. Wanted to be exactly like our father in business, and you took it all away. All of it! I hate you!” she cries, tears falling down her face. “I hate you so much. I want you to leave and never come back!”

  “Hannon was gay?” her father blusters, a shocked expression marring his face.

  Whoa, nelly. He didn’t know.

  “No, he wasn’t. Just go wait in the car, Timothy.” Judith pushes him toward the door.

  “Just stay out of my life,” Honor reminds her mother.

  “Honor, I’ll be in contact.” Her father grabs her mother’s hand.

  “Timothy! You can’t possibly allow her to stay here. She’s our daughter, for crying out loud. We own her!” she cries as he pulls her toward a black limo idling at the curb.

  “I want to know everything about Hannon’s death…” is the last thing we hear before he opens the car door and ushers his wife inside.

  When the limo drives away, Honor spins in my arms, plants her face against my chest, and sobs. I hold her, letting her cry as long as she needs to.

  “It’s over. They’re not going to hurt you anymore,” I whisper into her ear while caressing her back. After lifting her into my arms, I carry her out, lock the door, and then pocket the key. I walk through my bustling gym, but no one stops me. The anger on my face, the possessive caveman lock I’ve got on my woman, ensures me a straight shot to our apartment with no interruptions. I take the stairs up, get her inside, and settle her on our bed.

  She cries for a long time, so long the day turns to night right before my eyes. I’ve got her cuddled up against me when I realize her tears have turned into tiny hiccups against my chest.

  “Do you think my mother is going to come after your family?”

  I close my eyes and rub her arms. “No, I don’t. It sounded like your father hadn’t been made privy to a lot of the information. And although he made it clear he wasn’t there for you and your brother in a parental capacity, he definitely holds the reins over your mother. He seemed surprised about Hannon.”

  She nuzzles against my sternum. “Yeah, I had no idea it was Mother alone. The letter that Hannon left me before he died told me that Sean had been threatened and the details of what had been said, but he never specified it was only our mother. I should have known. Father never cared enough to get involved in our personal lives. His only sin was not being there. What our father concerned himself with was where we sat at the table at a business function or on a board of directors. For my father, work is everything. Family comes second. But he had a special connection to Hannon. When he died, he did what a man like him does. He worked harder. Barely ever came home for the first year.”

  “Still, he was absent for you. He didn’t know what was going on between you and your mother. Her abuse. Babe, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Tonight, I came the closest I ever have to punching a woman in the face when she hit you.”

  Honor pats the skin over my heart. “I’m glad you didn’t. She would have sued.”

  I chuckle. “It would have been worth it.”

  She sighs. “No, it wouldn’t.”

  “You would have bailed me out of jail.”

  Honor smiles and nods. Her famous nods.

  “I’m sorry about today.” I run my fingers through her hair.

  Her body tightens up around me. “Sorry about everything?” Her voice shakes when she asks.

  “Not the part about making you my wife, about growing this business and our home together.” I finger the dog tags around her neck. They look good on her.

  She smacks my chest. “Nick! You had me scared out of my mind just then!”

  I roll over her and kiss her silly. “How about now? Still scared?” I peck her lips.

  “Maybe a little.” She squirms under me, wiggling her sexy body against mine delectably.

  Cupping her face, I press my forehead to hers in a soft head-butt. She giggles, and it’s exactly what I need to hear right now.

  “You’re going to be my wife. We’re building our lives together. Nothing else is more important than that.”

  She wraps her arms and legs around my body, clinging to me. “Nothing more important.”

  “Except for one little detail. A challenge, if you will. Think you can handle it?” I tease before laying down a series of kisses between her breasts, nudging her shirt and my tags away so I can get me some tit.

  Honor hums low in her throat. “For you, I can handle anything.”

  “Now that’s my girl.” I nudge her bra out of the way with my nose and suck her pretty pink tip into my mouth. She moans and arches into me.

  “What’s the challenge?” She sighs and runs her fingernails along my scalp.

  My dick punches against my track pants at the sensation of her fingers on me. I thrust my dick against her core, grinding until we’re both moaning.

  “Nick…” my sweet girl says in that way that makes me want to strip her naked and fuck her to kingdom come.

  “Well, there’s one person we still need to get through on this marriage deal.”

  I lift up far enough that I can watch her face. Her legs drop down to the bed. “Who?”

  I grin. “Ma.”

  Her eyes flash with fear.

  “Dinner, tomorrow. We tell them that we’ve moved in together and we’re getting married. All of them.”

  A wave of panic hits my girl’s face, and she shakes her head.

  “No, no, no. You need to tell them by yourself!”

  I chuckle and pin her down, grabbing both of her wrists with one hand so I have the other free.

  “Dove, together. We do everything together now, remember.”

  She purses her lips prettily. “’Cept maybe this one thing?”

  “You’re cute when you’re scared.”

  “Am not,” she huffs.

  “So cute. And so mine.” I lean down and kiss her, making sure to taste every inch of her lips, teeth, and tongue. Her lips are swollen and bruised when I’m done with them. “Tomorrow,” I repeat.

  “Tomorrow,” Honor responds in a hazy, sexed-up tone.

  “You are downright easy, babe. I fucking love it. Time to reward you.” I drop her hands and run my hands down her body, where I pull off her yoga pants and underwear at the same time.

  “Spread ’em, and don’t be shy, or I’ll bust out the crop and use it on your clit.”

  Her entire body shivers underneath my hold.

  “I see you like that idea.” I cock an eyebrow, waiting for her reply.

  “Mmm-hmm,” she mumbles, her hands going to the edges of her knees, where they are open for me.

  “You want the crop tonight?”

  A breathy “yeah” leaves her mouth.

  “My dove wants to be bitten.”

  “Nick…” She sighs as I make my way off the bed and over to the closet, where we have a drawer full of our new purchases. Crops, paddles, belts, cuffs, blindfolds, toys, and more.

  I grab the crop and smack it against my palm once. “Take off the rest of your clothes. Spread your arms and legs, and don’t move. I’m going to work you hard tonight. Get every ounce of that experience with your mother out of your system and remind you who owns this body, mind, and heart. You got it?”

  She scrambles to remove her shirt and bra. Like the good girl she is, she spreads out her legs and arms.

  “Thank you, Nick.”

  Music to my ears. Now it’s time to give my woman the release she needs. Help her let it all go so the only thing that remains in her mind is our love, life, and the future we’re building.

  Chapter Twenty

  Inverted Butterfly (Sanskrit: Badhakonasana)

  The health benefits to this pose are endless. The most important being impro
ved circulation, decompression of the spine, detoxing of the tissues, and promoting healing of all kind. Inverted positions are a great resource for the body, and yoga teachers everywhere will encourage some time upside down. In this position, you place the silk in a tight band at your hips. Stretch out the legs wide at first, and using your arms, walk down the silks until you’re upside down. When you’re comfortable, you can bend the knees and touch the soles of the feet, toes, or wrap the feet around the silks. Let hands fall or place them at heart center.

  HONOR

  The silks slip through my fingers as I curl my legs around them, my lower back cradled, and I flip upside down. The hammock holds my weight so I’m hanging high enough off the ground that I can easily touch and flatten my palms against my mat but not so low my head is at risk of touching. While hanging, I count to thirty before widening my legs to balance my weight and lift forward with my arms, gripping the silks and easing back up.

  “Yes!” I smile and twirl in the hammock.

  Behind me, I hear the door lock. Nick just finished teaching the last class for Sunday night, the one he likes to do right before heading to his parents’ for dinner.

  “Great job, Dove. Now stand up.”

  I do as he instructs, thinking he’s going to lead me into practicing a different aerial yoga pose. The silks sway behind me.

  “Remove your pants.”

  His comment knocks me off guard. “Nick?” I turn my head to where he’s standing behind me. He places his hands on my waist; they are warm and comforting.

  “You heard me, Dove. Remove your pants and underwear.”

  The way he said it was not a request but an order. I glance over at the door and window; both are closed, the drapes hiding us from view.

  “We’re the only ones here. You know I’m the last one at Lotus House. Now strip.” He clucks his tongue.

  I swallow the lump of nerves and ignore my racing heart. Nick slips away from me as I push my pants and panties down and kick them away. He goes over to the stereo and chooses a song. Feeling brave, I lift my arms and tug my strappy sports bra over my head. When he turns around, I’m gloriously naked.

  The piano notes of the song start, and I inhale long and slow. Hozier’s “Take Me to Church” blasts through the speaker, taking my fear and soul with it.

  “Fuck! Amen.” He stands there on the raised stage looking like a golden god or a bull ready to charge. His upper body is bare, and his lower half is only covered by a pair of black linen pants that are tenting in the front quite magnificently.

  My breath stutters as I raise my hands above my head and grab the silks so I don’t fall over at the raw masculinity in front of me. The music he’s chosen weaves through my subconscious, speaking of church and bedrooms and worship. And that’s exactly the way Nick looks at me. With a worshiping stare.

  While the first chorus hits, I compare my Nick to the words the songwriter uses. Each one so fitting. With my focus only on him, I watch Nick curl his fingers into his waistband and push his pants down. His long, thick cock stands at attention, looking larger than normal. A spot at the top glistens under the track lighting above, and I want so badly to lick it off. My mouth waters at the sight of his essence coming to the surface. He’s so virile, sexually powerful, a god in the bedroom.

  “You’ve got me hard and hungry.” He strokes his length from root to tip and back down, masturbating with little care to how much I want to do that for him. “Put the silks to your lower back and repeat your position.”

  I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. The music’s getting louder, and the graphic visual the artist presents permeates my mind like a dirty karma sutra yoga scene.

  “Now, Dove. Don’t make me wait, or I’ll deny you lashes later.”

  A spike of frustration jabs my chest. The dirty dog would deny me if it meant he got to be the one to hold it over my head like a pleasure-stealing ninja.

  He continues stroking his length with one hand and gestures in a circle with one finger at the hammock behind me.

  Leaning back, I shimmy the gossamer, soft fabric into position. Once I’ve got it tucked to my lower back, I use my hands to grip the fabric. Then, I lift my legs, open them in a wide V in the air, and let my back and head fall toward the floor on one fluid movement.

  “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” Nick bursts into action, moving fast as I spin around. My sex is completely exposed, my legs out, the silks holding me open and in position. Nick stops behind me. Behind me, damn it! Where I can’t touch him. Both of his hands wrap around my ankles.

  His length prods against my ass, and I mewl with need for him. Nick runs his fingers down my legs, and I can’t help but tremble. I shoot my arms out in front of me to hold the floor so I don’t lose my position or fall on my head.

  “How long do you think you can hang like this?” he asks low, his voice uncontrolled and unlike anything I’ve ever heard from his lips before.

  “Maybe two or three minutes before I get light-headed,” I reply as his fingers reach my center, smoothing through the wetness he finds. “Oh God,” I gasp, wanting to close my legs, but I can’t because if I do, I’ll fall on my face.

  “Your body is a vision.” He runs his hands up and down my legs. “Smooth.” He kisses my ankle. “Toned.” A kiss to the inside of my knee. “Pale white.” Another kiss touches my inner thigh, so close to where I want him most. And yet, I’m also afraid to have him there for fear I’ll lose my mind.

  Arousal roars through my system like a wild animal. I flex my toes and dig my fingers into the mat below.

  “And all mine,” he whispers before I feel his mouth on my sex.

  Wild, animalistic pleasure assaults me. I become dizzy, my hands pressing into the mat so I’m pushing up as he’s pushing down. His thumb twirls around my clit in devious circles, and I am humping his face and the air recklessly, lost in a tumble of sensation as he sinks his tongue deep inside me. I howl at the intrusion. He flutters and flicks the talented muscle, working me into complete and utter oblivion. And then he amps it up a notch when he pinches my clit…hard. I scream, my body jerking as though it has been electrocuted, but he doesn’t stop feasting. He moans loudly, smashing his face between my legs as if he wants to be smothered in me, in my taste. I lift one hand to his head and ride the remaining waves of my orgasm.

  When I’m boneless, he pulls away, helps me up, and pushes the silk along my back and just under my bum so it cradles my body. Dreamily, I lie back, supported by the hammock, but Nick has other ideas.

  “No rest for the wicked, baby.” He spreads my legs and adjusts the silks so I’m tilted and my pelvis is lifted up to his perfect height. As I lock my legs around his waist, he centers his weeping cock at my center and power drives in.

  Full. I’m so full, I arch my upper body and grind my heels into his lower back.

  “Fuck, yeah. Now hold on to the fabric, Dove, because I’m about to take you on one helluva ride.”

  That is the only warning I get. A second later, he is gripping the silks and powering me on and off his cock in fast, spearing jabs. I can see a full few inches of his cock as he eases my body forward and back. Inside, I am a mass of contradiction. Full, empty, choking with his size, and bereft. Over and over he pounds into me, each thrust harder than the next, taking me to new sexual heights I’m not sure I’ll survive.

  Nick shifts my legs from around him so my heels are wedged up against my sides and inside the silks. The new position is vulgar and filthy. He pulls away, his dick falling from me as he assesses his handiwork.

  “Look at you, strung up and open for your man. Ready to take my cock, my fingers, or my mouth. This pretty, wet pussy, open all for me?”

  Apparently, I’ve made the error of not answering fast enough, because before I can formulate an answer in my sex-induced haze, Nick has straightened his hand, fingers out flat, and he draws his arm back and spanks me right between the legs.

  I whimper with the first lash.

  “All.” He smacks
me again, my clit turning fire hot with the second blow.

  “For.” Nick doubles his force, and my body rocks with the rebound of his slap.

  “Me!” He growls and smacks my sex three times in quick succession.

  My body is unable to catch up with the overwhelming pain and pleasure that is shooting through my system. He doesn’t let up. Before I can take a breath and process the fiery spanking of my most private part, he lines himself up again and thrusts his cock deep. So deep I lose my ability to breathe.

  “Jesus, fucking woman. I love you so damn much,” he thunders as he wraps his hands around my ass and forces me so deeply onto his cock, I could swear I feel him in my chest.

  I explode around him, the pleasure so acute it splinters from where we are connected, through every limb, taking me away. Far, far away. My mind instantly shuts down.

  My entire being and world shrink down to one solitary person. Nick.

  Every touch.

  His kiss.

  Nick’s love.

  He hammers into me, racing to find his own release, and through it, I again find mine.

  And again.

  And again.

  I can’t stop coming. It’s like my entire body is an exposed nerve and Nick is pricking it repeatedly with a pointy needle. One wave of heaven rolls into another.

  When Nick is done torturing me with orgasms, he wraps his arms around me, hugging me closely while still imbedded, his manhood a massive force between my thighs. I follow his lead by draping my legs and arms around him. Face-to-face, heart-to-heart, mouth-to-mouth, he gets up on his toes, his body arching sublimely, his cock a weapon of pleasure inside me. Every inch of his strong, muscled body convulses and quakes against mine, exposing his vulnerable, softer side. I hold him tighter, reveling in the feel of this man giving it all…to me.

  “All for you,” he whispers, forehead to mine, the puff of his labored breaths coating my lips in warm air. “Everything I am, all that I will be, is all for you.”

  * * *

  NICHOLAS