Strictly Confidential Attraction

by Brenda Jackson

  A frown appeared in Jake’s rugged face. “No, but he did mention that last note that Nita received was written by the same person who wrote the others.”

  Mark nodded. He was afraid of that.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Hartman.”

  Both Mark and Jake looked up to see a young woman standing beside their table. She was not someone Mark recognized, and since she wasn’t wearing a uniform, he knew she wasn’t one of the waitresses. “Yes?” Mark said, rising from his chair.

  “I was wondering about that ad in today’s newspaper. Is the position still open?”

  Mark’s eyes widened in surprise. He knew nothing about an ad in the newspaper. “What position are you talking about?”

  The woman looked at him strangely, then replied, “The one for a nanny. The ad said you were looking for someone and I’ve got a lot of exper—”

  “There must be some mistake. I’m not looking for a nanny and I didn’t place an ad in today’s paper for one.”

  “Oh. The paper must have run an old ad by mistake then. Sorry to have bothered you.”

  Mark watched the woman walk off. Instead of taking his seat, he turned to Jake and said, “Excuse me for a minute. I need to snag Manny’s newspaper to check out something.” He returned a few minutes later with a deep frown on his face.

  “Well?” Jake asked, leaning back in the chair. “Was it a mistake?”

  Mark sighed deeply. “Evidently not. There is an ad in today’s paper. I called the newspaper and they said Alli came in and placed the ad a couple of days ago.”

  Jake lifted an eyebrow. “She’s quitting?”

  “Apparently.”

  Jake tipped back his hat. “You really don’t know what’s going on with your womenfolk, do you? I found out the hard way that’s the worst mistake a man can make.”

  Mark sighed deeply thinking that no, that wasn’t the worst mistake a man could make. Being a total fool was. “I have to go, Jake,” he said, already crossing the diner and heading for the door. The newspaper had to be wrong. Alli could not be leaving him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  Alli’s hand flew to her chest. She had just walked out of Erika’s room after placing her down for her nap, only to find Mark standing in the hall with an intense look on his face. “Mark, you scared me. I didn’t know you were home.”

  “Answer my question, Alli,” he said, struggling to control his temper.

  Alli inhaled deeply. “Okay, we can talk in the kitchen.”

  He walked ahead of her and was pacing the kitchen by the time she got there. He stopped and glared at her. “All right, now where do you think you’re going? We had a deal.”

  “Yes, and it’s one I plan to honor so I’m not going anywhere, at least not until you find my replacement. Then I will be leaving. And just so you’ll know, I’ll be turning in my resignation as your administrative assistant as well. I’ve made a decision to leave Royal and move to Austin.”

  Her words were like a punch in the gut. He leaned against the kitchen counter to get his bearings. She wasn’t just leaving him, but was actually planning on leaving Royal? “Why are you doing this, Alli?”

  She took a deep breath as he continued to look at her. “To me it’s simple. For two solid years I’ve loved you, Mark, and worked hard not to ever let you know it. It was my secret and my secret alone. I’d heard about what happened to your wife and knew there was a chance you might not ever get over her and it didn’t matter to me if you didn’t love me because I loved you and that’s all that mattered.”

  She walked across the floor and sat at the kitchen table. “But that’s no longer true. My feelings do matter to me. I came here to be Erika’s nanny and it hurt that you thought I was manipulating the situation to be your lover. That wasn’t the case, Mark.”

  He crossed the room to join her. “I know that, Alli, and I want to apologize for insinuating such a thing to you. I was still shocked at what you’d said the night before, although that’s no excuse.”

  She met his gaze. “No, it’s not an excuse and as far as my emotions are concerned, my feelings are my feelings, Mark, and nothing you do or say will make me change them. However, I respect and appreciate your honesty about how you feel. Therefore, I think the best thing for me to do is to leave Royal.”

  When he started to say something, she held up her hand. “No, Mark. You need to understand something. I’ve spent a large portion of my life taking care of Kara. When you came to town I fell in love with you, and I honestly thought that loving you secretly would be enough. Until I moved in here and became your lover, it was. I was even willing to sentence my sister to the same type of life I had, all work and no play. That would have been wrong. There’s beauty in loving someone, sharing your time and life with that person.”

  She paused briefly before continuing. “Now that I know how wonderful it is to love someone openly with no boundaries, I’ve decided that’s what I want. My only problem is the man I love doesn’t want me or love me back. So the only thing left is to pick up my pride and move on. I’m not a woman who can be a man’s lover and not want something in return. I have to have love. I can’t change the way I feel no more than you can change the way you feel. That’s why it is best for me to leave Royal and start a new life someplace else.”

  She took a deep breath and slowly released it as she stood. “Now if you don’t mind, I want to get some rest while Erika is sleeping.”

  Not giving him a chance to say anything, she hurried out of the room.

  Mark remained sitting in the chair long after Alli had left. Maybe leaving Royal would be the best thing for Alli since she deserved better. But why did the thought of her leaving cause a colossal pain to settle deep in his heart? The thought of never seeing her again was something he just couldn’t bear. He thought about how his relationship with Patrice had been and knew what he’d shared with Alli had been so different. Was he going to go around blaming himself for the rest of his life for Patrice’s death, knowing things might not have been any different had he been in the States? He and Patrice had begun living separate lives even while residing under the same roof. He had offered to teach her self-defense many times but she had refused his offer.

  He thought of all the things he and Alli had shared. There was such a goodness about her that went beyond how she took care of Erika. It went beyond how she’d taken care of her sister and, more importantly, it went beyond how she had taken care of him.

  And she had taken care of him. Since she had moved to the ranch, he had experienced some of the happiest and most joyous moments of his life. Suddenly he was struck with the reason why.

  He loved her.

  There was no sense denying it. As much as he hadn’t wanted to fall in love with her, he had, and he could be honest enough with himself to admit he had probably loved her for as long as she had loved him. But since coming to live in his home, she had shown him love and how to express it, with her and with Erika. And he wanted to continue what they shared. It no longer bothered him that Erika referred to him as her father. When she got older, he and Alli would tell her all about her parents and how much they had loved her and that Matt had entrusted her in Mark’s care because deep down his brother had known that eventually he would show her love and not expose her to the loveless childhood they had endured.

  He stood, knowing what he had to do. He had to convince Alli that he loved her and wanted her as part of his life.

  Alli had sworn she wouldn’t cry but was doing so anyway, she thought as she wiped tears from her eyes. Moving away from Royal wouldn’t be so bad. Austin was a big city with a lot of opportunities. She would make new friends and, who knew, she might even meet someone whom she could learn to love.

  Fat chance! Her heart would always belong to Mark.

  She lifted her head off the pillow when she heard a knock at her bedroom door. Knowing it could only be Mark, she ignored it. There was nothing left to be said. When she heard the knock again, she decided
to see what he wanted. Definitely not her, she thought.

  With a heartrending sigh, she crossed the room to open the door. “Yes?”

  “I listened to what you said in the kitchen and now I’m asking that you listen to what I have to say.”

  Alli glanced down at the floor, not wanting him to see her red-rimmed eyes. Besides, she couldn’t look into his face without seeing the man she loved more than anything. Feeling somewhat composed, she finally looked up. “I’m sure your message will be the same, Mark, so why bother?”

  “Please hear me out, Alli.”

  Instead of saying anything, she backed up to let him in. He walked over to the window and looked out a long moment before turning around to face her. “The one special memory I have of my mom that I’ll always hold dear to my heart was the day she took me and Matt for a walk. I believe it was the same day the doctor had given her the news that she only had a short time to live.”

  He looked out the window for a moment again and then his gaze returned to Alli. “She told us the story we’d heard so many times before about how our grandparents found oil making them rich. She also said that it was her dream that that legacy would continue with our kids. It wasn’t until years later after she’d died and I was raised by a father who didn’t know the meaning of expressing love that I decided I would never marry nor would I have children.”

  He walked across the room to lean against her dresser. “While serving in the marines, I met Patrice through a friend. Her childhood had been just as rough and unloving as mine, and because of a medical condition that had left her sterile, she couldn’t have children. What we entered into was more of a partnership than a real marriage. Neither of us knew how to express our emotions and we were fine with it.”

  He looked down at the floor a moment then back at Alli. “I’d been satisfied until Erika came into my life. I kept wanting to give her more of myself but didn’t think that I could. The one thing I didn’t want was for her childhood here with me to resemble the type Matt and I had with our father. But it was only until you came to live here that I could see how much distance I’d put between me and my niece, even when I hadn’t meant to do so.”

  He crossed the room to stand before Alli. “I’d never been my happiest, Alli, until you came to live here with us. I thought I could go the rest of my life without love but I see I can’t. Knowing you might be leaving Royal has knocked some sense into me. I love you, Alli. I love both you and Erika, and I don’t think I could handle it if you were to leave. Stay here, marry me and make this place a home for us. I want the three of us to become a family. I told you once that I needed you. At the time I didn’t know how much. Now I do. If you will have me, I will never give you a reason to want to ever leave again.”

  Alli’s mouth trembled and she swallowed a lump caught deep in her throat. She was speechless after Mark’s declaration of love.

  “I’ll be good to you and our daughter. I promise.”

  Alli blinked back her tears. “Our daughter?”

  “Yes, I want us to adopt Erika and when she gets older we will tell her all about Matt and Candice. I think they would have wanted things that way.”

  “What about other children? I want them but you don’t, Mark.”

  “I do now,” he said softly, meaning every word. “I want to give you my babies, Alli. As many as you want. I want to be a father to our kids, a good and loving father who won’t be afraid to show them how much I love them every day of my life.”

  Alli squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of her tears and dipped her head. Mark’s words were making her dream come true. He reached out and tilted her chin up with the tip of his finger. “I love you, Alli. Will you marry me and continue to show me love in its purest form?”

  She met his gaze, saw the hopeful look in his eyes. “Yes,” she said tearfully. “I love you, too, and I want to marry you so you, Erika and I can be a family.”

  He pulled her into his arms and held her close to his heart. “I love you, Alli,” he said for the third time that day. “Everything will work out between us and we will be a family.”

  She smiled up at him. “Yes, we will be a family.”

  He pulled her into his arms, tasting the tears on her lips. And this time he put all the emotions he’d ever held back into this kiss, wanting her to feel the love that was flowing through every vein in his body. Desire ran rampant through his blood and he needed to make love to her, claim her as his, connect with her, and let her know just how much she was loved.

  He picked her up in his arms, sweeping her off her feet, and carried her over to the bed. Without uttering a word, they undressed each other and, when they were both naked, he placed her against the pillows. He thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world lying nude before him with her hair spilled over the aqua bedspread.

  She reached out for him. “Make love to me, Mark.”

  He came to her, drew her tongue deep into his mouth, sucking on it until she groaned out. His hand went lower down her body, past her stomach to settle between her legs and found her wet, ready, hot. Pulling back, he quickly sheathed himself with a condom and then moved his body in position over hers.

  He met her gaze. Held it. And when he began entering her, he knew he had come home. When he’d gone as deep as he could, he kept his body motionless, needing to feel her around him, clutching him, loving him. Then with a loud animalistic growl, he withdrew, then thrust back into her again, feeling her body shiver and shudder at his onslaught. Over and over, he withdrew and went back in, knowing this would be his home for the rest of his days. And that she was his woman.

  He spread her thighs some more, grasped her hips to part her farther, then threw his head back as flesh slapped against flesh, the sound heating up their desires and passion even more.

  “Mark!”

  She screamed his name, once, twice, three times and he continued to move within her. Then he gritted this teeth as a howl burst from his lips and he frantically rocked his body into hers, needing to go as deep as he could with the woman that he loved.

  And he did.

  Mark rolled off Alli to stare at the ceiling as he fought for breath. They had made love several times before, but never with this intensity. He pulled her into his arms. “I love you.”

  She looked over at him and smiled, fighting for breath as he was. “I love you, too.”

  “I want to get married next weekend, Alli.”

  She let out a soft chuckle. “Rushing things, aren’t you?”

  He grinned. “Yes, I suppose I am. Do you think it can be arranged?”

  She sighed upon seeing he was dead serious. “I’ll call Kara. She was coming home next weekend anyway to get her car so that time might be perfect.”

  “Good, and when Erika wakes up we’ll go to the jeweler so you can pick out a ring. We’re going to make it a family affair.”

  Alli smiled. “That sounds wonderful to me.”

  “Da-da. “Erika’s voice could be heard through the monitor.

  Alli smiled sheepishly. “Oops. My screams may have wakened her.”

  Mark chuckled. “Or it could have been the sound of this bed knocking against the wall.”

  “Mark!”

  “Well, it’s the truth,” he said laughing.

  “Da-da.”

  Mark leaned over and flipped on the speaker that was connected to Erika’s room. “Your daddy is coming, sweetheart,” he said with all the love in his heart.

  He glanced over at a smiling Alli. An expression of love and tenderness consumed his features when he said, “And so is your mommy.”

  Four days later, a smiling Mark walked into the Texas Cattleman’s Club to attend a meeting that had been called by Gavin. It was a perfect Texas night and back home waiting for him were two perfect young ladies. Everything was set. He and Alli would be getting married this coming weekend. Her sister would be there as well as all of their friends. Mrs. Tucker had called two days ago to let them know she would be returning
to Royal and would love to have her old job back as Erika’s nanny.

  Mark and Alli had jumped for joy and, since Mrs. Roundtree was working out just fine at the studio, he suggested that Alli attend school full-time to obtain her degree. When she finished, he wanted her to use the vacant space in the studio as her computer-engineering business office.

  “Hartman, wipe that silly grin off your face so we can get down to business,” Logan said when Mark took a seat at the table.

  “Hey, don’t get testy because I decided not to have a long engagement and move ahead and marry my woman. I expect all of you to be at the wedding on Saturday.”

  “We’ll be there,” Gavin said grinning. “Now let’s get down to business. With this last threatening note to Nita Windcroft if things continue to escalate, one of us may need to start watching the Windcroft farm. I think Connor would be the logical choice. With his army ranger experience he will be the perfect person for the job.”

  Jake leaned back in his chair. “Have you broken this news to Connor yet?” he asked, thinking that his brother would have his hands full taking on Nita Windcroft. He wouldn’t wish that nightmare on his worst enemy.

  “No, and I don’t plan to do so, either, until he returns from Virginia. This is something he needs to hear in person.”

  Everyone nodded in full agreement.

  “Connor did indicate he wanted me to call him tonight and place him on speaker phone so he can personally congratulate you, Mark, since he won’t be attending the wedding. He’s still tying up loose ends.”

  Mark nodded, understanding.

  “And we all decided,” Jake said, standing, “Since all of us are here and Connor will be shortly by way of speaker phone, we’d end this meeting and turn it into a bachelor party. Everything has been set up downstairs.”

  Mark laughed. “Thanks, guys.”

  Gavin leaned back in his chair. “Any advice for diehard bachelors?”

  Mark grinned. “If you find the woman you want, don’t let anything stand in your way of getting her.”