The Leaders and the Led

by Ao Jyumonji

  Someday, this prickling pain in his chest would fade, then disappear entirely. He would get used to this suffering.

  He wanted to live, so he would get used to it so that he could live on.

  “Merry sure is late,” he said to cover his embarrassment. “Where’s she gone off to?”

  “...Really, I don’t know Merry all that well, so... I couldn’t say,” said Shihoru.

  “Yeah, I know, right?” Haruhiro said. “But, I mean, I’m a guy. It’s hard for me to be close with her.”

  “I don’t think that just being the same gender means we’ll be able to be close...” Shihoru said quietly.

  “Is that how it is?” Haruhiro asked.

  “You... know what I’m like,” said Shihoru. “If I were bubbly like Yume, maybe it would be a different story...”

  “Hmm,” he said. “I don’t think being bubbly will always help though, you know? I mean, Yume’s fine. She seems like she could get along with just about anybody. So long as it isn’t someone like Ranta.”

  “...Ranta-kun might be an exception,” Shihoru agreed.

  “That guy’s an idiot. Seriously. What the hell is he doing, overeating like that? I don’t get him.”

  “...He was probably eating soruzo, don’t you think?” Shihoru asked.

  “Huh?”

  “This is just a guess, but... maybe he was trying to eat Moguzo’s share, too...”

  “Ahh...” Haruhiro tugged at his hair. I see. That was it. I didn’t understand a thing. I wasn’t seeing anything. It was Ranta’s way of paying his respects.

  Haruhiro laughed just a little. He felt a pang in his heart.

  “Yeah, you’re definitely not an unpleasant person, Shihoru,” he said. “It’s amazing for you to be able to understand another person’s feelings like that.”

  Shihoru shook her head. Then, she crouched down. “I think... Merry,” she said, forcing the words out, “she has more regrets than any of us. She’s in the most pain. Because she’s the priest...”

  Haruhiro nodded. He felt that he understood that much. After all, it’s her second time.

  Merry had lost a comrade, multiple comrades, once before. The weight of that responsibility had changed her and Merry wasn’t the same person she had been before that.

  After teaming up with Haruhiro and the party, she had finally started to show a smile every once in a while. But just when she’d started to, she had lost another comrade.

  On top of that, Merry was a priest. As the one who had light magic that could heal wounds, she was the party’s lifeline. That was to say, she was in a position where her comrades’ lives were her responsibility. It would be little wonder if she blamed herself entirely for what happened.

  It might have been presumptuous of him, but right now Haruhiro was more worried about Merry than anyone else.

  “...I just hope she hasn’t gotten any strange ideas,” he said out loud. Now that he’d said that, he worried about it all the more.

  That was why, when he heard footsteps, looked up, and saw a figure in white clothes there, he felt an incredible sense of relief.

  “Merry!”

  “...Why?” That was all Merry said before turning heel and walking the other direction.

  “—Huh?” Haruhiro gasped. “Wait, Merry, you’re running?!”

  “H-Haruhiro-kun, we have to go after her!” cried Shihoru.

  “Ah! Right!”

  Luckily, Merry wasn’t very fast at running away. Actually, Merry wasn’t steady on her feet at all. She wasn’t so much running as somehow managing to keep going forward despite being ready to fall over.

  When Haruhiro caught her, she immediately brushed his hand off, but Merry didn’t try to run any further. Maybe she couldn’t have run even if she’d tried.

  Merry turned her back to Haruhiro and Shihoru, collapsing to her knees. “...What? Do you need something?”

  “‘Something’—yeah, we kind of do,” said Haruhiro. “But, wait, Merry, have you been drinking?”

  “Is it wrong for me to?” she mumbled.

  “Well, no, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he hesitated.

  “...Leave me alone,” she mumbled. “Don’t concern yourself with me.”

  “I can’t just leave you alone,” Shihoru said, crouching down next to Merry. “I can’t do it.”

  “...Why not?” Merry demanded.

  “Because... it bothers me. Seeing you in this state... I can’t just pretend I don’t know anything.”

  “...I didn’t want to be seen,” mumbled Merry. “Not like this. Why are you here?”

  “We came here... to see you, Merry,” said Shihoru.

  “I... don’t want to see you, at all.”

  “We don’t feel the same way.”

  “I don’t want to see you!” Merry shouted.

  She was coherent, but Merry was obviously very drunk. Well, of course she wouldn’t want them to see her like that. That was natural. Haruhiro didn’t want to see Merry like this, either. It might have been better if he hadn’t. But he had. He couldn’t pretend otherwise.

  “Merry,” he said.

  “...What?” she asked unsteadily.

  “Eight o’clock, in front of the north gate,” he said. “Maybe you’re not going to be able to make it. Looking at you now.”

  Haruhiro tried waiting. No matter how long he waited, Merry gave no response. She didn’t say a thing. Instead, she stood up and walked away. It looked like she planned to go back to her lodging house.

  Shihoru tried to follow Merry. Haruhiro stopped Shihoru, and called after Merry.

  “We aren’t done yet. It’s okay to stop and stand still, but we have to move forward.”

  Merry went inside without responding.

  6. Even If We Falter

  The morning of the next day—actually, the same day, come to think of it—they waited for the time it took the bell to ring once, or until ten o’clock, but Merry didn’t appear at the north gate.

  The next day, they waited for two hours again, but Merry never came. Ranta proclaimed loudly that they should storm into Merry’s room, but Haruhiro and Shihoru firmly opposed the idea. As for Yume, she was still feeling funya-funya, but she was getting better.

  Then, on the third day, Haruhiro and the others arrived at the north gate just before the eight o’clock bell rang.

  “Oh...” Ranta said, surprised.

  Shihoru inhaled sharply.

  Yume said, “Meow.”

  Haruhiro smiled just a little, covering his mouth with one hand. Every time he smiled, the dull pain returned in his chest.

  There was a woman in priestly garb leaning against the short staff she was carrying for support standing in a corner by the north gate. She was looking down, as if she were counting the toes on her feet. She wasn’t especially petite, and yet she looked very small right now.

  “Merry!” Haruhiro called.

  Merry looked up and turned to face them. She looked back down right away, though maybe she was nodding.

  I guess it doesn’t matter which, Haruhiro thought. Yeah. It doesn’t matter which. Merry’s here. We didn’t force her to come. We didn’t beg her to, either. Merry came of her own free will.

  Haruhiro and the others ran up to Merry. Shihoru walked up to Merry first, shaking her hand without a word. Merry didn’t reject it.

  Yume suddenly gave Merry a flying tackle hug.

  “Eek!” Merry screamed, apparently scared out of her wits.

  Well, Haruhiro was taken aback, too. Of course she’d be surprised.

  “Sorry ’bout that, Merry-chan,” Yume said, hugging Merry as tightly as she could and rubbing her face up against Merry like a cat. “Really, sorry.”

  “Huh—wh-what for...?” Merry stammered.

  “For leavin’ you alone,” said Yume. “Sorry ’bout that. Yume had Shihoru there for her, but, Merry-chan, you didn’t have anyone with you. At an awful time like this, too. Sorry. Yume won’t leave you alone anymore, so she hopes you’ll f
orgive her. Yume’s gonna be by your side.”

  “...I’m...” Merry said, her eyes darting around.

  At first, Haruhiro thought she was just confused, But it seemed that wasn’t the case. Merry’s face was hot and flushed. She was red right up to the tips of her ears.

  Merry gritted her teeth. She looked like she was enduring and doing the best she could to hold it in.

  Maybe she’s about to cry—is that it? Haruhiro thought.

  “I’m...” she began.

  “It’s okay,” Yume declared. “Merry-chan, no matter what you say now, Yume, she’s already made her mind up. She’s not going to leave you alone anymore. Yume, from now on, she’s gonna stay at the same lodgin’ house as you. That’s what Yume’s decided. Shihoru’s gonna be with us, too.”

  Haruhiro looked at Shihoru. “...You are?”

  “I... think so?” Shihoru said, wearing an awkward expression that was somewhere between a forced smile and utter confusion. “...I might recall... talking about that last night... Vaguely...”

  “Vaguely, huh...” said Haruhiro.

  “Heh!” Ranta brushed his nose with his thumb. “Well, if that’s how it’s gonna be, then there’s only one choice. I’m gonna rent a room at Merry’s place, too!”

  “You can’t,” Merry turned an icy cold look towards Ranta. “As a general rule, the place I’m rooming at is off limits to men.”

  “Wh-Whaaat?!” Ranta yelped. “C-Can’t you do something?! Hey, wait, if it’s a general rule, that means there can be exceptions, right?! I was born special, so I must be an exception, obviously!”

  “The only exception is for small children,” she said coldly. “That means mothers with children are fine.”

  “Alrighty then! Fine, from today forward, Merry, I’m gonna be your son! It’d be weird to say I’m your real son, though, so we’ll say I’m adopted, yeah, adopted! How’s that! Now, there’s no problems, right?!”

  Haruhiro muttered, “There are nothing but problems with that...”

  “Shut your face, Parupiro! It’s not for you to decide! Now then, Merry, you’re my momma starting today! Welcome to the family, Momma!”

  Merry patted Yume on the back and sighed. “I think I’ll go home...”

  “Noooo!” Yume cried, squeezing Merry tightly. “Merry-chan, don’t go! When stupid Ranta opens his mouth, you don’t have to pay attention to a thing he says! You know Ranta’s just a numskull and a nincompoop.”

  “Who’re you calling a nincompoop?” Ranta shouted. “Especially when you’ve got tiny tits!”

  “Don’t call them tiny!” Yume flared.

  “Hey, it’s not my fault you’ve got tiny tits!”

  “Well, Ranta, you’re way flatter than Yume, so there!” she shot back.

  “I’m a man, damn it! I wasn’t competing with you on breast size to begin with!”

  “Well, what are you competin’ over the size of, then?!”

  “Huh?! Well, obviously...” Ranta looked down to his crotch, then glanced over at Haruhiro. “...Right?”

  “No, don’t look to me for agreement here...” said Haruhiro.

  “Hrmm?” Yume tilted her head to the side in confusion.

  “Um...” Merry said, squirming uncomfortably in the tight grip of Yume’s arms. “...I won’t leave. So, for now, could you let go of me?”

  “Whuh?! Was Yume hurtin’ you? Sorry ’bout that.” Yume let go of her. “Yume, she’s pretty strong, y’know. Lately, her arms’ve been gettin’ real beefy, and she’s gonna have a six-pack one of these days, she was tellin’ Shihoru. If that happens, Shihoru was sayin’, maybe if Yume’s chest muscles grow, her boobs might get bigger too.”

  “...Y-Yume,” Shihoru stammered. “That’s enough about that...”

  “Nwuh? Why?”

  “It’s not something to talk about in front of the boys...”

  “It’s not?” Yume asked.

  “Ha!” Ranta laughed nasally. You’ve got no delicacy, Yume. That’s your problem!”

  “Yume doesn’t have any telepathy, but neither do you, Ranta!” she shot back.

  “As if I would! Besides, it’s not telepathy, it’s delicacy! Delicacy!”

  Good grief, things sure have gotten lively here, Haruhiro thought, scratching the back of his neck. But, well, thanks to Ranta and Yume, the mood has lightened up.

  First, Haruhiro talked to Merry about business. They decided they would all go to the Volunteer Soldier Corps Office after this to fill out the paperwork. Then they’d need to take their 60 gold worth of military scrip to the Yorozu Deposit Company, convert it to gold, and divide up the money. He figured it would probably be a good idea to deposit The Chopper, as well.

  “—So, the question is, what we do from here on?” Haruhiro asked, keeping his tone as light as he could manage. The reality they were facing was a harsh one, and they were all feeling like they might be crushed under its oppressive weight. He didn’t want to make things any heavier than they had to be. “I’ve thought things over a bit, you know. For now, why don’t we try going to Damuro?”

  “Ooh,” Yume said excitedly. “That means gobbies.”

  “Heh!” Ranta frowned and crossed his arms. “For us now, don’t you think they’re a little out of their reach, trying to take us on?”

  “...I think you mean ‘out of their league’...” Shihoru murmured.

  “Hm? Did you say something, Shihoru?” Ranta asked loudly.

  “Never mind...” she said. “Forget it... I know there’s no cure for stupidity...”

  “Hey, I definitely heard that one, you know?” Ranta complained.

  “Damuro...” Merry said, casting her eyes downwards.

  “They’ve been calling us the Goblin Slayers all this time, after all,” Haruhiro said it jokingly, but Merry’s expression didn’t lighten at all.

  It’s too much to expect it right away. It’s going to take time. Take it step by step. Rushing things won’t help.

  “We’ve been frequenting the Cyrene Mines lately, so we’ve gotten used to kobolds, but if we go there, we have to go down at least three floors,” he said. “I think that’s risky. I hear the temporary state of emergency in the Old City of Damuro seems to have been lifted, and we know almost every nook and cranny of the place. If we choose our locations well and don’t overextend ourselves, I don’t think it should be that dangerous.”

  “The way you think is as passive as ever, huh, Haruhiro?” Ranta asked, with an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders. “But it’s okay, I guess? I think it’s not a bad idea, for now, at least.”

  “Wow, Ranta-kun isn’t complaining for once...” Shihoru murmured.

  “Who do you take me for, Shihoru?” Ranta shouted. “I’ve always been a guy who tells it like it is, you know? If it’s good, I say it’s good. If it’s bad, I say it’s bad. If I have something to say, I say it! If I want to do something, I do it! In other words, I’m a real man!”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Haruhiro muttered.

  “Haruhiroooo! No, Parepiruroooo! Don’t try to just let what I’m saying drift by!”

  “If anything, I’d like to throw you in a river and let you drift away,” Haruhiro said.

  “Fine by me! Bring it! Just you try! If you can throw me in a river, do it, damn you!”

  “Nah, I’ll pass,” said Haruhiro. “It’s too much of a bother.”

  “Ba-boing.” Ranta sprung forward in a straight line. He might have been trying to act funny to get a laugh out of them, but obviously no one so much as giggled. Ranta, however, was undaunted and tried it again a few times. “Ba-boing. Ba-boing. Ba-boing!”

  The repeated attempts not only didn’t get a laugh, they were only making everyone less and less amused, so it was impressive that he could keep doing it without his heart breaking. Ranta started working funny faces into his ba-boing jump routine.

  Yume let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head.

  Merry was looking at Ranta with pity at this point.

  Shihoru shud
dered. “...So creepy.”

  “Ba-boing!” Ranta shouted. “Ba-boing! Ba-boing, ba-boing, ba-boing!”

  Ranta looks happy, Haruhiro thought. He enjoys it when people are creeped out by him. Is he a masochist? Still, Shihoru has been poking fun at Ranta an awful lot today. Maybe she’s thought about it and has some reason for it.

  Haruhiro ignored Ranta, looking instead to Yume, Shihoru, and Merry. “Does anyone else have an opinion?”

  “Yume thinks she’s okay with it,” Yume declared.

  “...I think it’s fine, too,” said Shihoru.

  “Me, too,” Merry said, bringing a hand to her chest and taking a short breath. “I’m fine with it.”

  Things weren’t like they were before. Of course they weren’t. Haruhiro and the party had lost someone they couldn’t afford to lose. There was no one who could replace Moguzo. Not anywhere. It wasn’t possible.

  Was there nothing that could to begin to fill the great, all too great, holes that had been gouged into, and between, the members of the party?

  Well, if not, what should we do? Haruhiro wondered.

  He didn’t know right now. However, he knew that not knowing the answer didn’t make it okay to leave things as they were. If he didn’t know the answer, he had to seek out and find it.

  Haruhiro nodded.

  “Let’s go.”

  7. Unable to Cling to Past Glories

  He had to find something.

  Something that they could do in their current situation.

  He didn’t expect it to go well from the very beginning, of course. It wasn’t going to be that simple. But still, things couldn’t be the way they were before.

  “Ranta! I told you not to get too far away!” Haruhiro shouted.

  Haruhiro was using Swat to endure Goblin A’s attacks as he tried to get a sense of how the battle was going.

  Goblin A was equipped with a leather helmet, chain mail, a short sword, and a small shield, but it wasn’t big like an orc, so its individual attacks didn’t have much weight behind them. Even one-on-one, it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge. The problem was Ranta.