Bali Raw

by Malcolm Scott

  I patted Ketut on the shoulder, “Yes Ketut, bring girl Goes Art. Not beautiful but not too ugly, ya.”

  Ketut shrugged concentrated on his phone, “Ya, ya, not beautiful, not ugly, girl good for sardine man.”

  Five minutes later Ketut came and joined us, he placed his empty beer glass in front of me and sat down. “Girl comes fifteen minutes,” he said. I ordered him another beer and we settled down to wait.

  The girl arrived half an hour later, she wasn’t pretty but she was by no means ugly. She wore thick make-up, was a little overweight and was probably pushing forty. It was a match made in heaven as far as I was concerned.

  I felt Ketut had done a good job. I slipped him the hundred under the table and Ketut shoved the money into his pocket. I put an arm about Ketut’s shoulder and pulled him close. “He will give her three hundred for a short time,” I whispered.

  Ketut agreed then stood up from the table and greeted the girl as Heni; he walked over and whispered in her ear. I saw Heni nod and the two of them began conversing in Indonesian.

  I used the moment to tell The Grey Sardine that I had organised the girl for him and asked if he thought she was OK. The Grey Sardine gave me a goofy smile. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered, and I could sense his excitement.

  Ketut and the girl finished talking and Ketut introduced her to us before inviting her to sit next to The Sardine.

  I leant over and took Heni’s hand; I introduced myself, then Aaron and The Grey Sardine. Heni shook the boys’ hands and took a seat next to The Sardine. The Sardine smiled at Heni, “Would you like a drink?” he asked.

  Heni returned his smile. “Lemonade,” she replied. The Sardine ordered and the new couple seemed to get along fine.

  Ketut came to my side and placed an arm about my shoulder, “She says OK, three hundred,” he whispered. I nodded and shook Ketut’s hand; he then thanked me for the beer and disappeared.

  Aaron and I remained at the table but we gave Heni and The Sardine space to talk. We quickly became involved in our own conversation and what happened next came as a surprise. Heni finished the lemonade then stood up from the table. “I go!” she said, and picked up her handbag.

  The Sardine looked astonished. He glanced at me and blushed and I immediately felt sorry for him. I looked up at Heni. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  Heni fiddled with her handbag, she unzipped it and shoved her phone inside. “Nothing wrong,” said Heni, and re-zipped her bag.

  I stood up from the table. “Is there problem Heni, I think we already make deal?”

  Heni threw her bag down on the table then she pointed at The Grey Sardine. “I not want spend time with him,” she said in brutal Indonesian fashion.

  I couldn’t believe it. As far as I could tell The Sardine had been the perfect gentleman. I held up my hand and tried to calm her down. “Heni, it’s OK,” I said, “my friend will pay and he only wants short time.”

  Heni turned to me and thankfully she switched to Indonesian. “Yang ini saya tidak mau. Kamu OK, teman kamu OK, tidak ada masalah, tetapi orang tua ini saya tidak mau!” she spat in simple enough Bahasa for me to follow. (“I do not want him. You or your friend are OK but I don’t want the old man.”)

  I was devastated for The Sardine. He’d just been refused by an average-looking hooker in public and I had set the whole humiliating thing up, I felt like a real prick.

  I did my best to alleviate the situation. “Heni mau dua ratus ribu lagi?” I said in my pidgin Indonesian. “Mungkin lima ratus ribu? Jam kecil ya, ini bagus price.” (You want Rp200,000 more Heni? Maybe Rp500,000? Just short time, it’s a good price.) I hoped Gary wouldn’t realise that I had offered Heni more money.

  Heni listened but she wasn’t interested. “No want,” she replied in English. She flicked her hair, picked up her purse, turned on her heels and left the bar.

  I looked over at The Grey Sardine. “Sorry, man,”

  Gary shrugged and sighed, he looked devastated. “Don’t worry about it, Mal,” he mumbled, and took a sip of his beer.

  I decided to make it up to The Grey Sardine. I stretched out my hand to him and he took it. I looked him in the eyes and said, “You and I are going out tonight and I’m going to find you two girls and I promise you they will be better looking than that pig.” This seemed to cheer Gary up somewhat but I was only digging a deeper hole for myself.

  That night was a long one. The Grey Sardine seemed to have fun, I on the other hand spent most of the night hunting down and chatting up hookers only to get rejected when I introduced them to him. Aaron did his best to help but only got in the way, he was a little too handsome and any girl he brought over inevitably wanted him.

  The night was almost over, the dances had been danced, the crowds had thinned and the working girls had wangled their share of alcoholic drinks from patrons seeking their services. I knew that if I was ever going to get The Grey Sardine a woman, that time was now. Unfortunately, he picked this particular time to deliver a bombshell.

  Aaron, The Sardine and I were leaning against the bar in a popular Seminyak club, when Aaron turned to me and asked, “Mal, what are the chances of getting more than one girl?”

  “The chances are great, if you’re willing to pay,” I replied stupidly, and instantly regretted it when I saw The Sardine staring at me.

  The Grey Sardine rounded on me and grabbed me by the shoulder. “That’s what I want,” he said. “I’ve never been with two girls and you said earlier you would get me two.”

  “No shit, did I say that?” The Sardine couldn’t be serious, I thought. I had to think quickly. “Listen Gary, I’m doing the best I can, all the girls here are working but I can’t force them to go with you.”

  I hoped The Grey Sardine would understand. He didn’t. He looked at me with big watery eyes, “But I’ve never been with two girls at the same time, Mal. If you can get me two girls I will pay for a girl to go with you.”

  It was a deal clincher. “OK, I will make one more round of the bar and see what I can do.”

  I grabbed Aaron by the shoulder and told him of my plan to search the bar one more time and he agreed to join me. We were about to begin our quest when fate stepped in and lent a hand. A group of girls entered the bar and stood off to our right. There were five and I could tell by the way they scanned the patrons that they were working. I decided to make my move as fast as possible, it was late but there were still a few hungry packs of guys floating about.

  I pulled The Sardine aside, I wanted him out of the way. “I need you to do something for me, I want you to go outside and get a taxi. Then I want you to take the taxi over to the Circle K and buy as many vodka drinks as you think you can afford.”

  The Grey Sardine nodded affably; I took a good look at him and changed my mind. “Hang on a second.” I took out my wallet and passed The Sardine a couple of hundred thousand and asked Aaron to do the same. “Just buy shitloads of alcohol, we are going to need to get these girls very drunk. When you have the taxi fully loaded, come to the front door of the club and send me a message. Aaron and I will bring the girls out.”

  The Grey Sardine turned his back on me, clutching the stash of notes in his hand as he raced for the club entrance. I watched him go, glad that he wouldn’t be around when Aaron and I approached the girls. I took a long drink of my beer, worked up my courage, and motioned Aaron to follow. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure how I would make things happen but I did have a card up my sleeve and planned to use it.

  During the course of the evening Aaron had mentioned that he and The Sardine were sharing a room in one of Bali’s swankier hotels. The hotel was plush and empty and happened to have a massive swimming pool right on the beach. I thought the girls would know of this hotel and planned to name drop at the first opportunity. We walked over, introduced ourselves to the girls and wasted no time ordering a round of vodka shooters. When the drinks were brought to the table we held them up and made some stupid toast, then the whole group downed their drinks
in one gulp.

  Aaron went to the bar to order the next round so I took the opportunity to drop the hotel name and invite everyone to a party by the pool. The girls looked at each other and there was a lot of head nodding and rushed Indonesian, then the girl I guessed was the designated spokeswoman asked, “Do you want all of us to come?”

  Aaron arrived back at the table with two drinks each on a tray and we passed out the shooters. I held up my glass and said, “Yes, we can have a big party.” I downed the shooter and Aaron and the girls followed suit.

  I took my drink and said to the designated spokeswoman, “We have another friend, he is getting a taxi and some drinks. We can meet him outside if you are ready to go.” I wanted the girls up and moving, I didn’t want them to question or change their minds, so I swallowed my drink and watched as she did the same.

  The spokeswoman put down her glass, turned and had a brief conversation with her friends. She turned back to me, “We will come but we are businesswomen.” I knew from experience that the initial stages of the deal were the wrong time to talk price.

  “Is OK, I understand,” I said. “We will have small party, drink and swim, and then we can talk business.” I felt it was better to let the girls relax by the pool with a drink before starting the negotiations.

  The Sardine’s text came through. I felt the vibration but I didn’t bother to take out my phone and answer. I just took the girl by the hand. “Come, we talk in taxi.” I was unwilling to take no for an answer.

  Aaron followed suit, he placed his arms about the shoulders of two girls and moved them towards the door. I turned to the remaining two girls. “Come on, we go,” I said, and pumped my fist in the air. “We have pool party!”

  Once outside, I saw The Grey Sardine’s taxi and didn’t break step. I opened the back door and guided three of the girls onto the back seat. Aaron followed and forced his way in, this left five people crammed into the rear of a small Bali cab. The Sardine must have felt right at home.

  I climbed into the front seat and pulled the remaining two girls onto my lap. It was dark in the taxi with so many bodies and I was glad for it, the less the girls saw of The Grey Sardine the better.

  The driver started to protest and I couldn’t blame him, the small taxi was jam packed. “The Paradiso Hotel!” I said, but we didn’t move.

  I managed to struggle my head up and look over one of the girl’s shoulders and saw a worried look on the driver’s face. “Paradiso Hotel, Pak!” I managed, before my face was crunched by a giggling girl’s elbow.

  The driver looked to where my voice had originated, he found my eyes and shook his head. “Too many people,” he said. “If Polisi catch big trouble.”

  This presented a problem. I didn’t want the girls to be split up and didn’t want them to get a good look at The Grey Sardine. “I will give you a nice tip,” I managed, before a shoulder obscured my view.

  I waited for the car to start moving but it didn’t budge. “Shit,” I swore into the girl’s armpit.

  I wiggled my face through sweaty skin and again found the driver. “Please, sir,” I said. “I’m dying here.”

  The driver waggled a finger at me. “Polisi,” he said, and then he faded from view.

  I understood the driver’s concern but I also knew it was a lie. It was about two in the morning and the cops in Bali didn’t work that late. The girls were heavy on my lap and the car was filled with the smell of cheap perfume, the air was cloying and I felt a little sick. I wanted to move fast so I could get the window down and let in some fresh air.

  “Hey guy’s it looks like we won’t be going anywhere,” I screamed, and two bottles of Mix Max were passed to the front. The girls on my lap didn’t hesitate; they grabbed a bottle each, opened them and started drinking.

  I could hear muffled giggles and laughter coming from the back seat, it seemed I’d been given my answer. I shoved my face into one of the girl’s shoulders and she lifted an arm to accommodate my movement, my head now poked through between her arm and her breast. Miraculously I could see the horrified driver’s face again. “I will double the fare,” I bellowed, “but you have to leave now.”

  The driver smiled and nodded. “Ya, OK, you make double and we go.”

  We must have looked a sight to the sleepy security guards at Paradiso Hotel: five scantily clad hookers, two drunken Australians and a reject from a John West factory.

  We tumbled out of the taxi into the hotel foyer and the security didn’t seem to care. I was happy that the girls hadn’t seemed to notice The Grey Sardine and pushed him in front and did my best to distract the girls. We waved our brightly coloured Mix Max bottles at the security and they waved us by. The girls had been promised a pool party, and they definitely wanted a swim, so we made our way up to the boys’ hotel room to collect a few towels.

  The girls piled into the bathroom, all five of them, and I figured they went to do their make-up and hair. Why they did this before they went swimming was a mystery but I have never really understood women or what they do.

  Surprisingly, The Grey Sardine said he was tired and he wanted to have a sleep and wait for us in the room. Aaron and I tried to talk him out of it as the whole thing had organised for him, but The Sardine refused. He jumped into his bed, ignored us, and fell asleep.

  We gave up on The Sardine and gathered up drinks, towels, and girls into our arms and left Gary to his nana nap. We took the back stairs to avoid security and headed down to the hotel pool.

  The pool was deserted. It was a beautiful Balinese night and the girls stripped down to their knickers, while Aaron and I jumped in naked.

  No sex took place in the swimming pool. Aaron and I took turns at teaching the girls to swim and our little half-naked group of semi-drunks frolicked and laughed together underneath the fat Bali moon. We split into three groups, Aaron choose the two girls he wanted to be with and I spent most of my time with one girl, I liked her and we seemed to get along. The other two girls stuck together and chatted, there was an understanding that they would end up with The Grey Sardine. I have no idea what they thought about this but at least they were drunk and getting drunker. We spent an hour in the hotel pool before the girls began to get cold; it was then decided to head back to the room.

  When we arrived back at the room we found The Sardine sound asleep, so Aaron and I threw bottle tops at him, as friends do. The girls piled into the bathroom again, they seemed to love the hot water and fought over the shower. In the end they all piled in together. I would have loved to join the girls, and I’m sure Aaron felt the same, but we were not allowed in.

  We tried to wake The Sardine but he wouldn’t budge. We tried everything we could think of, we even dribbled iced water on his head, but we received no reaction and eventually decided he was a lost cause. I asked Aaron to help and we lifted The Grey Sardine off his bed as I thought I might need it. We carried him to a small couch and gave him a rug and a pillow—The Grey Sardine seemed content.

  This left Aaron and I with a dilemma. We had five girls in the room that would need to be paid, a deal had been struck, and although a price had yet to be set the girls would expect a fee whether they slept with us or not. We could have sent two girls home with less payment but that seemed unfair. Aaron came up with a plan, “Why don’t we let all the girls stay?”

  The girls had shown us that they had no problems being naked together and Aaron had already spoken to his two girls about sleeping with him. I decided it sounded like a good idea.

  This left us with a problem. Aside from cutting one of the girls in half we had to decide who took on the extra girl. After some deliberation, we decided on a simple game of Rock, Scissors and Paper.

  As luck would have it I won, so I brushed the skin flakes out of The Sardine’s bed, climbed in and waited for the girls.

  Aaron forced his way into the bathroom and returned a moment later with two girls. He pulled them into bed and thankfully covered up with a blanket. I hopped from the bed and turned off the
light—I didn’t want to watch Aaron having sex.

  This left me with three. I had no idea what I was going to do with so many bodies but I was willing to give it a try so I opened the bathroom door and asked the girls to join me then climbed back into bed. The girls came in a group, they were all jiggling beasts and giggles. They climbed into bed beside me, around me, and on top of me.

  I had never been in bed with three naked bodies before, it was strange but I had little choice but to go with the flow; it was a ding, ding, throw-your-genitals-into-the-ring moment. I kissed each of the girls and tried to spend a few seconds with all, there was a lot of laughter, a lot of breasts and way too many hands.

  The girls groped and pinched and wrestled, it was reminiscent of a pile-on during a sleep over—it was more grapple than sex. I felt like I was tangled up with a bunch of squirming puppy dogs, it was fun, and funny, for a moment, and then something went horribly wrong.

  I slid my hand down one of the girls and discovered something that shocked me—it felt like a small hard penis. No way, I thought, it couldn’t be.

  I tried to think if any of the girls had seemed masculine and replayed the night in my mind, I tried to remember the swimming pool, the small glimpses I’d had of the girls in the shower. The girls had all seemed like women, not one of them stood out as being a transvestite, but then what I had touched had felt so much like a small erect penis. I was horrified and more than just a little confused. Had I been mistaken? I had to find out.

  Trying not to arouse suspicion I scampered over to the very left-hand side of the bed and fumbled about with one of the girls. When I cleared her of being a man I lifted her to the side so I could check the next girl. There were only three girls but this proved to be more difficult than it sounds. The room was dark and the girls couldn’t keep still. No sooner would a girl end up on my left than she would be climbing back over me to rejoin the action. I would try and hold her back and then one of the girls would climb over me to get to her. The girls would meet in the middle and become entangled on top of me, then they would roll either left or right to meet up with the other girl.