My Stepbrother, My Lover

by Ward, Alice

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Our parents are getting married,” I reminded him. “We couldn’t be together now if we wanted to.”

  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. What does our parent’s relationship have to do with ours?”

  “We’re going to be step-siblings. It would be completely inappropriate for us to date.”

  “Kennedy, it’s not like we were raised in the same house together,” he argued. “I’m sure that stuff like this happens all the time. We shouldn’t suffer because our parents are happy together. And if you haven’t noticed, neither of them are the most conforming people on the planet. I don’t think either of them would have a problem with us seeing each other. Let’s just sit them down and talk to them about it.”

  I shook my head. “No. There were already so many signs that being together was a bad idea. This is the last straw. I’ve made up my mind about this, Jackson. It’s not up for debate.”

  “The hell it isn’t,” he answered defiantly. “There are two of us in this relationship and I think that I deserve just as much of a say in it as you do.”

  “Three of us, if you count Meredith,” I snarked in reply. “And as she was the last one you had your lips on, I think we should count her.”

  I knew that I was being unreasonable. I’d had a few days to calm down and I realized that Lauren was probably right. Deep down, I trusted Jackson and knew that Meredith had most likely thrown herself at him that morning. But I also knew that there was no way I could date my stepbrother. We were stuck with each other for life and if things ended badly between us, it would make for miserable family dinners.

  Jackson was silent for a few moments and then scowled. “I know what’s really going on here,” he said angrily. “I have to hand it to you, Kennedy. You had me fooled. I thought that you were different than the others. But you’re exactly the same.”

  I narrowed my eyes, trying to read him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if it means you’ll let go of the idea of us dating then fine. I’m exactly the same as the rest of them, whoever ‘them’ refers to,” I replied impatiently. “Though I’d like to know who I’m being lumped in with.”

  “Every other gold digger who’s pretended to be interested in me for my money.”

  My blood boiled as I realized what he was accusing me of. I had half a mind to toss my hot coffee in his smug face. “You think that I was dating you because you’re rich? Do you know me at all? If I remember correctly, you’re the one who went after me. I couldn’t care less about your bank account.”

  “Of course you couldn’t,” he said sarcastically. “Why would you, now that you’ll have access to my dad’s? You’ll play the sweet, devoted little stepdaughter, won’t you? That’s a much tidier plan for you. You can spend all of your new daddy’s money and date whoever you want, instead of having to pretend to have feelings for me. I won’t let you get away with it. I’ll make sure that he sees you for who you really are, and you’ll never get your hands on a dime.”

  “I don’t want a penny of your fucking money,” I told him as I pushed my chair away from the table. “All I want is for my mother to be happy. And lucky for her, your dad seems to be a much better man than you so she may actually have a chance at that. I’ll see you at the wedding.” I spun around and stormed away from the table; Jackson didn’t try to stop me.

  CHAPTER 2

  “Okay Kennedy, what’s so important that we all had to drop everything and meet you here?” Lewis asked. It was Friday afternoon, almost a week since I’d learned that my mom and Jack were engaged. I’d asked Lewis, Steve, Becky, and Lauren to meet me for a late lunch so I could tell my friends about the impending wedding.

  “I have some surprising news,” I announced.

  Becky rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. You’ve rethought things again, and now you’ve decided that you do want to date Jackson.”

  The last time my friends and I got together, I’d told them that there was no way I’d ever go out with Jackson Montgomery. I’d reiterated all the reason’s we’d make a horrible couple and told them that I had an odd premonition that us dating was a horrible idea. I knew they hadn’t all been convinced, and I’d hoped to put more time between that announcement and breaking the news about our parents. But my mother and Jack had given an interview with a reporter from the Society Section of the Boston Globe, and the paper would be on the stands that Sunday. I wanted them to hear the news from me.

  “I definitely won’t be dating Jackson Montgomery the Third. My mother is marrying his father,” I announced bluntly.

  Mouths dropped all around the table. Even Lauren did her best to appear shocked.

  “Are you serious?” Becky gasped. “I didn’t know they even knew each other.”

  “How did this happen?” Lewis asked.

  I shrugged. “They met at a cocktail party in D.C. a few months ago. I guess things moved pretty fast.”

  “Oh my God, Kennedy. You and Jackson are going to be related! How did you find out? Does Jackson know? Thank God you never actually dated him, how awkward would that be?” Becky asked.

  “This explains that odd feeling you had,” Lewis observed. “You must be a psychic.”

  I blushed. “I know, I guess it was just intuition. Mom and Jack took Jackson and me to lunch, ‘introduced’ us, and gave us the news. Jackson didn’t seem thrilled about it and when we were alone, he made a point to tell me that his dad would insist on a prenup.” I was telling the truth, but carefully avoiding the timeline.

  A short waitress with dyed, jet black hair came to the table. “What can I get you to drink?”

  We each ordered draft beer and the daily lunch special, and she disappeared as quickly as she’d shown up.

  “Did you tell your parents that you already know each other?” Becky asked.

  “Yeah, it was pretty obvious.”

  “But I’m guessing that you both skipped over the small detail of Jackson asking you out for the last couple of months?” Lewis asked, obviously amused.

  “I didn’t see any reason to mention it,” I said with a casual shrug.

  “This is so crazy,” Becky told me. “I thought your mom was against marriage.”

  Our waitress reappeared and distributed our beers around the table. I took a long drink and turned back to Becky.

  “She always said that there was no point in turning an emotional relationship into a legal arrangement. I guess she’s changed her mind.”

  “Does this mean you’re rich now?” Lewis laughed.

  “Not in the slightest,” I replied seriously, remembering Jackson’s accusation. “I don’t expect a dime of the Montgomery money. My Christmas and birthday presents may be a little more extravagant from now on, but that’s where it will end.”

  “But doesn’t Jackson get a pretty hefty allowance?” Becky asked. “His dad is notoriously generous. Surely he’ll want to provide for you and your mom the same way he takes care of Jackson.”

  “I wouldn’t feel right taking Jack’s money, even if he does offer it,” I explained.

  “But think of all the good you could do with it,” Lewis argued. “The Montgomery Foundation and Montgomery Enterprises have near limitless resources.”

  “I’m not going to take his money,” I repeated. “Jackson has already implied that my mother is a gold digger. I’ll be damned if I do anything to make it look like he’s right.”

  “Jackson’s just licking his wounds, Kennedy,” Lauren piped up. “He’s still hurt that you refused to date him. He was probably trying to figure out a new way to win you over. Now that you’re parents are engaged, you’re completely off limits. He’s only saying such terrible things because he’s pissed.”

  “I think Lauren’s right,” Steve said, speaking for the first time since I told them the news. “I didn’t want to say anything against him when you were spending time together, but I’ve heard that Jackson doesn’t react well to hearing the word no.”<
br />
  “That’s the truth,” I agreed.

  “It really is good that you didn’t start anything with him,” Becky said again. “Can you imagine finding out that you’re accidentally dating your brother? It sounds like something from a bad soap opera.”

  That’s the perfect way to describe my life right now. One endless, terrible soap opera.

  “He’s not really going to be her brother,” Lauren pointed out. “It’s not like they grew up in the same house.”

  “They won’t be biologically related, but their new social roles will be almost identical to blood siblings,” Becky countered. “And in most cases, fulfilling those social roles builds an almost identical bond. If Kennedy and Jackson had actually dated, it would be almost impossible for that bond to form in a healthy way.”

  Fantastic, my life has turned in to a psychological case study.

  “Someone paid attention in psychology class,” Lewis teased.

  “I pay attention to everything,” Becky replied. “On a happier note, have Gloria and Jack set a date yet? I hope it’s a glamorous wedding.”

  “I don’t know any of the details yet,” I told her.

  The waitress reappeared with our food. We ate silently for a few moments and then the conversation started again. As my friends talked back and forth about their dream weddings, I tried to shake feelings of disappointment. I knew our parents’ engagement made our dating a terrible idea, but a part of me had hoped that at least one of my friends would disagree.

  It wasn’t necessarily that I wanted to date him, I told myself. I just didn’t want to know he was off limits. I realized then that I was guilty of the same offense Lauren had accused Jackson of. I’d been cruel the last time I saw him, not because of what I’d seen at the fraternity house, but because hating him was less painful than wanting him and not being able to have him.

  I have to find a way to deal with this without being such a bitch. I have to make Jackson understand that, in the long run, putting some space between us is for the best. We can play nice when we’re forced to be around each other for family stuff, and eventually our other feelings will fade away. Then we can be a real family, just like Mom and Jack want. What I need is a distraction, something to make me forget the way I feel about Jackson. School won’t start for another two and a half months, so it’s not like I can lose myself in my studies. And I’ve only got one tutoring student booked for summer session, so that’s not going to do it either. What I need… is a new man.

  The realization seemed so simple. What better way to push Jackson from my thoughts than to replace him with someone else?

  I took another long sip of beer and stared across the table at Steve. A few weeks ago, Lewis had spilled the beans about the crush Steve had on me. As I sat there studying him, I tried to will myself to be attracted to him.

  If I could just fall for him, all my problems would be solved.

  “Kennedy, are you alright? You haven’t touched your food,” Lewis pointed out.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him with a smile and stared at food. “Just thinking about the future.” I picked up my fork and took a couple bites of mashed potatoes. Satisfied, Lewis turned back to the conversation he’d been having with Becky. I finished the rest of my lunch in silence, a plan forming in my mind.

  ***

  “Kennedy, I’m not so sure that this is a good idea,” Lauren warned, trying to be gentle.

  It was Saturday morning and I was getting dressed to spend the day with Steve.

  “We’re just going to hang out for a little while,” I told her. “It’s not a date.”

  After lunch the day before, Steve had pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to check out a new independent book store that just opened near campus. I’d agreed and suggested that afterwards, we could get lunch and do some more shopping.

  “Are you sure that Steve knows that?” she asked suspiciously. “You know that he has feelings for you, Kennedy. Don’t lead him on.”

  I sighed. “I’m not leading him on, Lauren. We’re just going to a book store and grabbing a bite to eat. And who knows? Maybe it will lead to something more serious than friendship. I’ve always liked Steve.”

  That wasn’t a lie. I had always liked him, but not as anything more than a friend. He was a decent enough looking guy, but I just wasn’t attracted to him. His reserved personality and social awkwardness were major turn offs. But Steve was the complete opposite of Jackson, which made him much more appealing at the moment.

  “Really?” Lauren asked, her arms crossed over her chest. I ignored her sarcasm. “You’ve never mentioned liking him before.”

  “I’m not saying that I’m going to fall in love with him in the poetry section,” I replied impatiently. I tied my hair up in a ponytail and searched the room for my comfortable sandals. “I’m just saying that I’ve started seeing him in a different light, that’s all.” I found the shoes under my bed and pulled them on.

  Lauren opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by a knock at our door.

  “That must be him,” I said, grabbing my purse.

  “Just be careful, Kennedy,” she insisted. “For both of your sakes.”

  “You have nothing to worry about,” I assured her. I crossed the room and opened the door. Steve greeted me with an anxious grin.

  “Hey, Kennedy. You look nice. Hi, Lauren.”

  “Hi, Steve,” she answered with a kind smile. “Have you gotten any of your grades yet?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not really expecting anything for another week or so. Either of you?”

  Lauren and I shook our heads and then we stood there for a few moments in awkward silence.

  “So… are you ready to go?” Steve asked me, blushing to his roots.

  “Yes, I’ve got my book list in my purse and my walking shoes on,” I replied a little too enthusiastically.

  “Have fun, you two,” Lauren said, settling on to her bed.

  “Thanks, Lauren. We’ll see you later,” Steve replied. My enthusiasm spurred a bit of confidence in him. As we walked down stairs he seemed much surer of himself.

  “Have you thought about where you’d like to have lunch?” he asked as we stepped outside. “I know this great little Cajun place. I think you’d really like it.”

  “Mama Suzie’s?”

  Steve nodded and his faced flushed again. “I guess you already know it.”

  “I love it! I’ve been craving their coffee for days.”

  “Great, we can grab a taxi after we finish at the bookstore.”

  “I’m fine with taking the bus,” I assured him.

  Like me, Steve came from a financially modest family. Unlike me, he hadn’t received a full ride to Harvard. I got a break on my tuition because my mother teaches at the university and the rest is taken care of by my tutoring work. Steve had to take out massive student loans and his parents worked tirelessly to help him cover his living expenses. Our backgrounds were something else we had in common and another of the countless things that separated us from the Jackson Montgomerys of the world.

  “You’re really down to Earth, Kennedy,” Steve said. “That’s one of the things I like most about you.”

  I shrugged. “I’m just practical. The less we spend on a ride, the more we can buy at the bookstore.”

  “I like the way you think.” He grinned again.

  We reached the edge of campus and continued on to the new bookstore in comfortable silence. When we arrived at the store, Steve held the door open for me with another involuntary blush.

  Damn it, he thinks this is a date. He’s so sweet and bashful, it’s like being out with a little kid. But sweet is good, right? Just play along, but don’t let it go too far.

  We both relaxed as we stepped into the store. The sights and smells of books always had that effect on me and it was nice to be with someone who had the same reaction. I pulled my list out of my purse and turned to face him.

  “There are a few things that I want to look for. I
f you want to browse, I’ll come find you when I’m finished.”

  “I’ll just go with you,” he insisted. “I want to get the new Harlen Coben novel, but there’s a stack of them by the register.”

  “Mysteries, huh?”

  “You don’t like mysteries?” he asked in disbelief.

  “I do… but I’m more of a classics fan. I’m hoping to find a new copy of Pride and Prejudice, mine is falling apart at the spine.”

  Steve nodded. “Lead the way.”

  I spent the next half hour browsing through the bookstore with Steve looking over my shoulder. He was like a lost puppy dog, hopefully following a prospective owner, and I started to feel smothered. Every time I made a comment, he agreed with me. Every time I made a suggestion, he replied, “Whatever you want.” Finally, I announced that I’d found everything that I was looking for.

  “But we haven’t looked for The Awakening or Middlemarch,” he said, pointing to my list.

  “That’s my download list, not my hardcopy list,” I explained as we made our way to the register. Steve set a copy of the new mystery novel on top of my selections and reached for his wallet.

  “I can’t let you pay for mine,” I insisted.

  “But I want to.”

  I shook my head and set his book off to the side as the cashier approached. She rang up my purchases first and then I stepped outside while Steve paid for his novel.

  I can’t do this. He’s sweet, but nothing will never happen between us. He’s just too eager, too serious about me already. And he has no idea what he’s doing. Lauren was right, it would be selfish to lead him on. I have to find a way to let him down easy.

  “Kennedy, I’m sorry if I upset you,” Steve said as he stepped out of the bookstore and joined me on the sidewalk.

  “You didn’t upset me,” I quickly assured him. “I just… I think that you have the wrong idea about today.”

  “The wrong idea?”

  “When you invited me to come here… did you mean for it to be a date?” I asked softly. I didn’t want to embarrass him, but I wanted to lead him on even less.