Every Breaking Wave

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  Jeremy pulled back the covers on the bed and Noah crawled in.

  “Good night, Noah,” Jeremy said and Noah smiled.

  “Good night, Jeremy.”

  I waited for Noah to ask for a story like we read every night, but he didn’t. He turned on his side and I leaned down, kissing him on the top of the head.

  “I love you, Noah. Good night.”

  “I love you, Mommy.”

  I kissed him again and then walked out quietly, making sure to leave the door open and the hall light on, like I always did for him. I expected him to call me back, but he didn’t and a moment later, Jeremy and I were standing in the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry about that,” I said. “He’s just been a little needier since Darren and I split up.”

  “It’s fine. I’m glad to help,” he said, giving me a reassuring smile.

  “Thank you, Jeremy.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He paused for a moment as awkward silence settled in. “I should probably get home.”

  “Yeah…you probably should,” I answered, even if part of me wished he would stay.

  “I’ll see you soon, Beth,” he said, opening the back door.

  “Yeah. Soon, Jeremy.”

  He smiled at me and then he walked away. I watched him as he made his way home and I wished I could go back to those days in the market and say hi to the awkward kid I’d only given a passing glance to because all these years later, I finally realized how worth knowing he was.

  Five

  My sister Amy was my best friend. Being two years older than me, I always wanted to be like her growing up. Whatever Amy was doing, I was doing. She was the reason I’d played softball and basketball from the age of five all the way through high school. She was also the reason I almost didn’t get to play the clarinet starting in fifth grade. Amy had started the saxophone when she was in fifth grade, promptly giving it up two months later. My parents decided they weren’t going to waste their money on another instrument in the family, which devastated me. My begging and pleading finally wore off though and they agreed…in a way. I’d wanted to play the saxophone too, just like Lisa Simpson, but when my parents finally relented, the saxophone was off the table. It was too expensive and they’d only recently gotten out of the rental agreement on Amy’s instrument. If I was going to be in the band, my only choices were the flute or the clarinet. I’d begrudgingly chosen the clarinet, which actually turned out to be a blessing, because I eventually learned the clarinets got some of the best parts in the arrangements, carrying the melody while the saxophones were often stuck with the boring bass line, filled with nothing but staccato quarter notes or stretched out whole notes. Regardless, I’d learned to play an instrument and I forgave Amy for nearly ruining that for me.

  She was always there for me. Always had been, especially after I told her about Darren. She hadn’t hesitated. She got in her car and drove to my house. By then, Darren had already left, Noah was asleep in his room still suffering from a fever, and I was a mess, sitting on the couch, staring out the window wondering how my life had fallen apart in the blink of an eye. Amy didn’t knock, she just walked in and I fell apart in her arms. She told me everything would be okay and something made me believe her, probably because she’d never lied to me or maybe because she’d always taken care of me. If my big sister said I would be okay, I knew somehow I would be okay, I just didn’t see how.

  Because of this, I was ecstatic when Amy told me she and the boys would be coming up for the weekend. She’d been to the beach house a few times since our last time in Travers Cove together, but just like me, I knew she wished she’d come more often.

  I wanted the visit to be perfect. It would only be for three days, but I wanted it to be a memorable three days. I wanted Noah and my nephews, Spencer and Brent, to love this place as much as Amy and I had growing up and part of making that happen was to have the cupboards fully stocked and delicious meals planned.

  Noah was disappointed when I told him we couldn’t go to the beach straight away after waking up. He was still complaining as I strapped him into his car seat, but I promised him as soon as we were done at the market and the groceries were put away, we’d change into our suits and hit the waves.

  The market was busy, but Noah sat surprisingly cooperatively in the cart, sucking on a Dum Dum as we made our way around the store gathering everything I’d need for when Amy and the boys arrived. Soon the carriage was full and we headed to the counter to check out.

  Mrs. Parrish sat at her post, ringing up the groceries of an older couple, but my eyes drifted behind her to a man replenishing the magazine display. His back was to me, but I knew it was him. There was no mistaking his tall frame and his head full of thick dark hair that I noticed for the first time had a little curl on the ends, almost like he needed a haircut.

  I didn’t say anything, but a few moments later, he turned around to get another stack of magazines. He saw us immediately because he abandoned the magazines and stood straight, his eyes going between Noah and me.

  “Jeremy!” Noah exclaimed.

  Jeremy smiled at Noah and then came over to us.

  “Good morning, Beth,” he said, his smile drifting to me.

  I hadn’t spoken to him since the night Noah finagled a dinner invitation. I hadn’t seen much of him either aside from catching a couple of glances when he’d walk out of his house and over to his SUV, a silver Equinox, before driving away. Now that he was only a few feet away, I realized that I’d missed talking to him.

  “It’s good to see you again, Jeremy,” I said, surprising even myself with the formalities.

  “Looks like you’re feeding an army,” he said, perusing the contents of my full carriage. “Looks like some good stuff. Can I assume I’ll be getting a dinner invite?”

  “You’re welcome anytime, Jeremy,” I said with a quiet laugh.

  “Remember you said that because I plan to hold you to it.”

  I don’t know why I focused on the dimples on each of his cheeks as he smiled at me, but I did.

  “All this food is actually for this weekend. My sister and her two sons are coming for a visit.”

  “Don’t forget these then,” he said, turning around for a second to grab something and then tossed a box of Lemonheads into the carriage and I started laughing.

  “Good call,” I said and then he grabbed the end of the carriage and pulled it towards the other register at the counter.

  “I can go ahead and check you out,” he said, walking behind the counter as I started unloading the contents.

  “I didn’t know you still worked here,” I said as he scanned the items.

  “I don’t work here. I help out sometimes and Grandma pays me in groceries,” he said as Mrs. Parrish looked over to us, a gentle smile on her wrinkled face.

  “Good help is hard to find and Jeremy’s the best,” she said, leaning over and giving him a squeeze.

  “She’s right you know. Gram never lies. I am the best.”

  “I would never question your grandmother’s integrity,” I said, smiling over to her and then it was quiet as he continued to work.

  “I’m actually glad you stopped in. I was going to come by later,” he said and my curiosity was piqued.

  “And why were you going to do that?”

  “I’m in a bit of quandary.”

  “Quandary? That sounds serious,” I grinned. “Can I do anything to help you with your dilemma?”

  “Actually, now that you mention it, yes, there is something you can do.”

  His left eyebrow raised and those dimples appeared again. It was fun bantering with him like this.

  “And what would that be?”

  “Second base.”

  “Excuse me?” I gaped and I blushed when the image of him getting to second base with me flashed in my mind.

  “My softball team. We need a second baseman. We’ve got a game tonight and Stewart, our usual guy, can’t make it. His wife had a baby last night. Can you belie
ve the nerve of her, right in the middle of softball season?”

  “Yes. The nerve. She should be drawn and quartered,” I teased back.

  “Anyway, I thought I’d put the offer out there. I thought you might like to get out.”

  I hadn’t played softball since my senior year in high school. I used to love it and the thought of getting to play, even if it was just in a small town softball league sounded fun. Then my eyes drifted to Noah and I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave him unattended while I played.

  “I’d love to, Jeremy, but I have no one to watch Noah.”

  “My sister will be there. Her husband’s on the team. She loves kids. She’ll keep an eye on Noah.”

  “I don’t have a mit.”

  “I’ve got an extra. It’s all broken in. I’ll even oil it for you, so you’re out of excuses, Beth.”

  “Well,” I said, grinning over to Jeremy. “I guess I am.”

  “Excellent. Game’s at five o’clock. We’ll leave at 4:30 so we can warm up.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” I said as I loaded the last bag into the carriage and handed Jeremy my credit card.

  “I look forward to it,” he said, but I didn’t say anything and I smiled over to his grandmother again.

  “Goodbye, Mrs. Parrish,” I said and she winked, handing Noah another lollipop before we made our way out of the store.

  Six

  As I laced up my sneakers, I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into. Why had I agreed to play a sport I hadn’t played in nearly ten years in front of a group of strangers? But then when I stood up and looked in the mirror, straightening my t-shirt and pulling my hair up into a ponytail, I knew why I’d agreed. I’d agreed because it sounded like fun and I needed to have fun. It’d been too long since I’d had any fun and I hoped tonight would change that.

  Noah thought hanging out at the softball field with Jeremy was a great idea. All day long he’d asked me if it was time to go, even when we were at the beach, which was saying something because nothing was more important to Noah than playing in the sand, so when Jeremy knocked on the door, Noah was the first to jump up and answer it. I had just finished packing Noah’s dinner, a cheese sandwich and sweet pickles, of course. I assumed there was probably a concession stand at the field, but with Noah’s picky appetite, I wasn’t going to take any chances of a mealtime melt down, especially if Jeremy’s sister, who I hadn’t even met yet, would be watching him while I was on the field.

  I grabbed the little cooler I’d put everything in and walked into the living room. I found Jeremy in a pair of long black shorts and a t-shirt. His hair was tucked under his Red Sox hat and Noah was beside him, holding a baseball glove and ball, which Noah held up excitedly to me.

  “I hope you don’t mind. I thought he might like to play catch at the field. And don’t worry, it’s just a wiffle ball.”

  “That was really sweet of you, Jeremy. Thank you,” I said just as Noah threw the ball to me.

  Due to the fact my hands were full and I wasn’t expecting a plastic ball launched in my direction, I wasn’t able to catch it and it proceeded to bounce right off my left boob, which hurt like crazy. I winced and I saw Jeremy trying to stifle his laugh. I’d have to encourage Noah to throw a ball at his nuts sometime just so I could laugh at him.

  “Sorry, Mommy,” Noah apologized.

  “Perhaps I should rescind my invitation to play with us tonight, if you can’t even catch a wiffle ball,” Jeremy grinned as Noah rushed over to get the ball and I shot him a glare.

  “Let’s go before I change my mind,” I said, hearing Jeremy chuckle as I walked past him.

  I insisted on taking separate cars, even though Jeremy wanted to ride together. I didn’t want him tied to us the rest of the evening in case he wanted to go out after the game. He eventually agreed and after Noah was buckled in, I followed Jeremy for a few minutes until we reached the softball field.

  The parking lot was already filling up and as I stepped out of the car, I couldn’t help but feel nervous, like a little kid on her first day at a new school, hoping my new classmates would like me.

  “So, who’s all on this team?” I asked.

  “A few of the guys from my uncle’s crew and the rest are just people we’ve picked up. Mutual friends of everyone.”

  “And they’re okay with me coming?”

  “They’re ecstatic. We’d have to forfeit otherwise and we’re pretty sure we’re gonna go undefeated this year.”

  “I guess I can assume slow pitch softball is pretty serious in these neck of the woods.”

  “You don’t even know the half of it. It’s cutthroat,” he said with a grin, sliding his finger across this neck as if he were slitting his throat.

  We were approaching a group of people outside of a dugout. They were laughing and joking, their thick Maine accents cutting through the air.

  “Hey!” an older man with a deep, throaty voice called out, waving at Jeremy when he saw us. “The savior is here!”

  He promptly wrapped Jeremy in a bear hug and then looked at me once they’d let go.

  “Uncle Bill, this is Beth and her son Noah.”

  “Good to know ya, Beth, and you too, Noah,” he said, holding out his hand to Noah who slapped it hard as he smiled. “Thanks for fillin’ in tonight. We cannot lose. Not tonight.” Bill looked serious. I thought Jeremy had been teasing about how cutthroat this league was. Perhaps I’d been wrong.

  “We’re playing the crew of Chester’s Hazard. My uncle hates Chester,” Jeremy whispered in my ear, a half-smile on his face. “You’d better not make any mistakes tonight.”

  “I’ll do my best,” I said sarcastically.

  Jeremy went around introducing me to the rest of the team. They were all just as happy to see me as Bill had been. Jeremy and I were about to start warming up when a couple walked up to us. They looked to be around my age. The man was tall with a shaved head and the woman was pretty with dark brown hair and eyes just like Jeremy’s. I immediately assumed she was his sister. There was a little girl beside them. She looked a couple of years older than Noah with brown pigtails and glasses.

  “Hey,” Jeremy said when he saw them, walking over and giving the woman a hug and then flipping one of the little girl’s pigtails. “Aubrey, Kevin, this is Beth and her son Noah.”

  Aubrey’s smile was a warm one and I got a good feeling about her.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Beth. Thanks for saving the day. You should’ve heard my brother and my husband carrying on and on about what they were going to do once they learned Stewart’s wife had gone into labor. They even tried to rope me into playing, but I just got a manicure two days ago. I’m not risking that.”

  Her last comment didn’t surprise me. Aubrey didn’t look like the kind of woman who’d spent a lot of time playing in the dirt.

  “I’m just hoping to not make a fool of myself out there. I haven’t played since high school.”

  “You’ll do fine. You’re a warm body and that’s all we need,” Jeremy said, tossing a softball forcefully into his mitt a few times.

  I saw Aubrey roll her eyes.

  “We weren’t that bad, Aubrey,” Kevin chimed in, sticking his hand out to shake mine. “Nice to meet you, Beth.”

  “You were that bad. You guys were whining like a couple of five-year-olds,” she said and then she turned her attention back to us, kneeling down so she was at Noah’s level.

  “You must be Noah,” she said with a smile. Noah inched closer to me and I put my arm around his shoulder. “This is Sophie. She’s five.” The little girl smiled widely and waved to Noah. She didn’t appear to suffer from shyness as my son did. “I hear we’re gonna be hanging out while your mommy plays some softball.” Noah continued to squish against me, but then Sophie approached him, taking his hand.

  “C’mon, Noah.”

  He looked up at me with nervous brown eyes and I smiled encouragingly at him.

  “Go on. You’ll have fun and I’ll be right
here if you need me.”

  He remained hesitant for a few more seconds, but then Sophie tugged his arm gently, saying, “We’ll go get a snow cone.”

  His shyness seemed to vanish at those words and he and Sophie started walking away. I couldn’t help but feel my own trepidation when he left, but then I felt Aubrey’s hand on my arm.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll look after him. It’ll be fun. You just concentrate on winning. I don’t need a bitchy husband and brother to deal with.”

  She laughed and Jeremy just shoved her playfully.

  “Yeah, yeah. Get outta here,” he said and Aubrey left, but not before shoving him back and they turned and left.

  “I like your sister,” I said once they were gone.

  “She’s alright.” His grin told me that while he was trying to be cool, he actually thought the world of her. “Now, let’s warm up, Sawyer,” he said, tossing the ball to me.

  ~~~

  The game was going surprisingly well. The team included me immediately, making me feel as if I’d known them for years, not just minutes. I hadn’t had many plays to make, but the few I’d been involved in had been okay. It was coming back to me and I wasn’t making a complete fool of myself. I even had two hits, a line drive single into left field and a fly ball that fell into a gap between center and right. Noah was having fun too. While our team was batting, I’d go and check on him. He and Sophie had hit it off and they were playing catch with the ball Jeremy had given him while Aubrey looked on. He seemed annoyed that I was interrupting him, which made me happy. As I watched him with Sophie and also how he’d warmed to Jeremy, I felt even better about my decision to spend our summer in Travers Cove. Noah hadn’t seemed this at ease since before Darren left.

  We laughed and joked on the field and in the dugout and the banter between Bill and Chester was hysterical. It had started getting tense though. By the last inning, the score was tied. We had last bats and I had been the first one up during that inning. I ended up getting walked and then made it to third base on a double hit over the right fielder’s head by Bill. I couldn’t help but laugh as he stood triumphantly on second base, his hands over his head, fists pumping excitedly in the air. My eyes moved to Chester, who was playing third base only a few feet from where I stood, and I could tell by the bird he was flipping Bill that he did not find the situation amusing. Bill gave him the finger back before the umpire stepped in and the antics stopped.