Every Breaking Wave

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  Jeremy stepped into the batter’s box then. He dug his leg into the dirt, drawing my eyes to the way his calves flexed. He tapped home plate with his bat and then squared up, concentrating hard on the pitcher. The ball lobbed through the air and by the way Jeremy swung, you would’ve thought he was Babe Ruth about to launch it over the fence. His over-exaggerated swing only resulted in a dribble down the first base line. Regardless, once contact was made, I started charging towards home plate. Out of my peripheral vision, I could see the first baseman had scooped up the ball and tagged Jeremy out as he ran towards the base and was now preparing to throw it to the catcher in an attempt to turn Jeremy’s lackluster hit into a double play. I was almost there though and I focused on the plate, pushing myself harder as the catcher blocked the plate. I ran into the man, who had to have weighed at least 250 pounds, at full speed. I began tumbling to the ground while my foot touched the base and the catcher began stumbling backwards. I heard the umpire shout, “Safe!” as I crashed to the ground, a searing pain rushing up my arm just as I heard a crunch on my wrist. The giant whale of a catcher had stepped directly on it and I grabbed it to my chest, yelling out in agony. Our team came rushing out of the dugout, yelling and cheering at our victory. They started to surround me, wanting to congratulate me for scoring the winning run, but I couldn’t get up. I remained on the ground, clutching my wrist to my chest, trying not to cry even though it hurt like hell.

  “Beth!” I barely heard Jeremy’s voice over the yelling from my team and when I looked up, he was pushing his way through the crowd to get to me. “Beth!” He was kneeling before me a second later. “Are you okay?” His voice was frantic and worried and when I met his eyes, I felt a tear finally run down my cheek, shaking my head.

  “It’s my wrist,” I said, my voice shaking.

  By this time, the team was finally realizing something was wrong. I was surprised it’d taken them so long, but then again, I wasn’t. Jeremy had said they were cut throat. The victory was all that had mattered, but now that they knew I was hurt, their shouting started to quiet and they huddled around me.

  Jeremy rested one hand on my shoulder while carefully taking my injured hand with his free one. He was being as tender as he could, but I winced when he touched it and when I looked down at it, I could see it was already bruising, the skin turning shades of purple and black.

  “I think it’s broken,” he said and I appreciated how gentle his voice was because I was on the verge of panic. “We need to get you to the hospital.”

  I couldn’t think of what to say so I just nodded and I felt Jeremy lifting me effortlessly to my feet. He kept his arm around me as we made our way off the field. Aubrey was standing with Noah and Sophie by the bleachers. Noah looked worried, but Sophie held his hand.

  “Oh my gosh, Beth. Are you okay?” Aubrey asked.

  “I think my wrist is broken,” I winced.

  “I need to get Beth to a hospital, Aubrey. Would you mind taking Noah back to your place?”

  “Of course not,” she said and then looked at me. “Don’t worry about anything. Noah will be fine with us.”

  I barely knew this woman, but I trusted her completely for some reason. I looked down at Noah then. He still looked confused and frightened and I knew I had to suck up the pain so he wouldn’t be scared.

  “Noah, baby, I hurt my hand. Jeremy’s taking me to the doctor, but I’ll be home soon. You go with Ms. Aubrey and Sophie, okay?”

  “I wanna go with you!” he called out and started to cry.

  It was times like these I felt most helpless and most like a failure. If Darren hadn’t destroyed everything, then Noah would have two parents here and his father could work on comforting him while I focused on myself.

  “Noah, honey,” I pleaded with him. “You can’t come with me. It’ll be okay.”

  He didn’t stop crying though. He grabbed onto my leg instead and I didn’t know what to do. The pain was searing now. I felt Jeremy’s arm leave my shoulder and I watched as he squatted down so he was eye to eye with my son.

  “Listen, buddy,” he said, using that same gentle voice he’d used with me that had calmed me so much. “I need you to be brave right now. Your mommy’s hurt and I need to get her better.”

  “I wanna go though,” he sniffled.

  “I know you do, but your mommy can’t worry about you while the doctor’s fixing her up. She needs you to go with Aubrey so she doesn’t have to worry. Can you do that for me?”

  Noah sniffled some more and didn’t say anything at first, but then he nodded, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

  “I love you, Noah. Be a good boy,” I said, kissing his wet cheeks.

  “Love you, Mommy.”

  He squeezed me tightly and then Jeremy helped me to my feet again.

  “Thank you, Aubrey. Thank you so much,” I said to her.

  “Don’t even mention it. He’ll be fine.”

  “Can you dig in my bag and get my car keys?” I asked Jeremy and he did, pulling them out a second later. “Noah’s car seat is in there. Feel free to use my car or move the seat into yours.”

  “We’ve got it covered,” she said, looking over to her husband who was just joining us.

  “Hell of a play there, Beth,” Kevin said. “Feel better.”

  I smiled through the pain as best I could and then I felt Jeremy’s arm around me again, leading me to his SUV.

  He got me situated in the passenger seat, even buckling my seatbelt for me. I wondered what was wrong with me that even though I was in agony as he strapped me in, I managed to notice how good he smelled and blush at how close he was to areas he shouldn’t be close to.

  “You scared the crap outta me, Beth,” he said as he drove too quickly out of the parking lot, heading down the road.

  I knew there was no hospital directly in Travers Cove, but there was one in the next town over. It would only take about fifteen minutes, but I knew it’d be one of the longest quarter hours of my life with how badly my wrist was throbbing.

  “I scared myself.”

  “I can’t believe you even ran on that play. You should’ve stayed at third base.”

  “You should’ve hit the ball better,” I said, surprised at the low chuckle that accompanied my words.

  I’d been slouched in the seat, leaning against the door, but I glanced towards him and he was grinning.

  “You’re sitting here with what is most likely a broken wrist and you’re cracking jokes about my hitting? That’s sick.”

  His words were peppered with laughter and I started laughing too.

  “Well, if you’d seen what I saw, you’d be making jokes too. You should’ve seen yourself. I hope someone was filming that because that swing was so pathetic it was comedy gold,” I laughed, finding the more we talked, the less I focused on the excruciating pain in my wrist. “It was like you thought you were Babe Ruth or something and to see it dribble down the baseline must’ve been humiliating.”

  I was full on laughing now and I watched as he tried to remain stoic, his eyes focused on the road, but I could tell by his tight lips and the emerging dimples that he was also trying to hold in a laugh.

  “C’mon. You know I’m right,” I continued to tease and he finally laughed with me.

  “I was overly excited,” he said, turning to me for a moment before looking back at the road. “But, in all fairness, that hit did bring you home and won us the game.”

  “My base running skills are what won us the game,” I countered.

  “Not without my hit though,” he smirked. “Let’s just say we make a great team, Beth.”

  I don’t know why his words caused me to stop our banter and look away, but it did and it grew quiet.

  “Seriously though,” he said a few minutes later. “You were great tonight. You must’ve been wicked awesome back in high school.”

  I laughed at how he emphasized the classic phrase with an accent so heavy, he sounded like the old men with white beards you see d
own at the docks.

  “I was alright,” I replied.

  “You made Bill’s night. He’ll love you forever now, you know that, right?”

  “Like I told your sister earlier, I’m just glad I could help.”

  “Thank you for coming tonight. I’m glad you said yes.”

  “Me too. Aside from this,” I said, glancing down at my wrist. “I had a lot of fun.”

  He glanced over to me quickly and smiled, but before he could say anything else, we were pulling up to the hospital.

  Seven

  Jeremy stayed by me the entire time we were in the emergency room. He’d been right. It was broken and not just broken, but broken in two places. It hurt like hell when the orthopedist came in and set the bone, but Jeremy had held my hand the whole time, even though I nearly crushed his from squeezing so hard. They’d given me some heavy duty meds and after that I didn’t feel the pain anymore. My wrist was wrapped in a cast. I was going to go with a plain cast, but Jeremy convinced me Noah would much prefer a color cast, namely a green one so he could pretend I was turning into the Incredible Hulk. Luckily the cast only came halfway up my arm, meaning it would merely be an inconvenience once I got used to it rather than an impossibility.

  The whole thing took a couple of hours and it was after ten o’clock when Jeremy and I left the hospital. I was tired and ready to get back to Noah.

  Aubrey and Kevin lived on the other side of town from our beach houses and when we walked inside, I found Noah curled up on the couch with Sophie next to him. Aubrey offered to keep him for the night so we wouldn’t have to disturb him, but I wanted him home with me and I hated to impose on someone I’d only just met.

  I thanked Aubrey for taking such good care of Noah throughout the softball game and while I was at the hospital as Jeremy scooped up my very groggy son.

  “Hi, Mommy,” he said sleepily and then his head fell to Jeremy’s shoulder and after a promise to get together again so Noah and Sophie could play, we left.

  Kevin and Aubrey had made sure my car got to their house. Jeremy strapped Noah into his car seat while I sat in the passenger’s side. I wasn’t supposed to drive on my pain medication and Jeremy said he’d worry about his SUV in the morning. Noah nodded in and out of sleep as we drove home, but it was quiet in the car and I found my eyes drifting to Jeremy, his profile outlined by the lights of the dashboard. He was being so good to me and Noah and I couldn’t understand why. I’d been an outright bitch to him upon our first meeting, but he’d forgiven me for that and since then I found myself wanting to be around him more, getting to know that lanky kid from Travers Market I hadn’t noticed all those years ago.

  Noah was sleeping again when we pulled into the carport. Jeremy carried him while I unlocked the door. Noah stirred a little when we got to his room as Jeremy laid him gently on the bed.

  “You okay, Mommy?” he mumbled as Jeremy tucked him in.

  “I’m fine, baby,” I whispered, kissing him on the forehead.

  “Okay.”

  His eyes drifted closed and I was grateful he was going right to sleep. I didn’t think I had the energy to deal with it if he hadn’t. I kissed him again and then we made our way out of his room, leaving it open a crack with the hall light on while Jeremy and I walked into the living room.

  “How’re you feeling?” he asked, keeping his voice low so as not to wake up Noah.

  “All things considered, I’m okay,” I said, a dull ache starting to throb in my wrist. “I think it’s time for another pain pill though.”

  I went to the table I’d set the bags on when we first arrived back and pulled out the bottle of Percocet and began fumbling with the lid. Unfortunately, I’d broken my right hand, my dominant hand, and I couldn’t quite master the childproof cap with my left. Before I had to ask, Jeremy was next to me, taking the bottle out of my hands and opening it for me.

  “Thanks,” I said as he handed it to me.

  I reached for my water bottle, taking a swig to swallow the pill and once I was done, I looked up, meeting his eyes, hoping he knew how grateful I was that he was here.

  “I appreciate all the help you’ve been and your sister too.”

  “Thanks aren’t necessary. I’m glad to do it.” He was reading the prescription bottle and then looked at me, an eyebrow raised. “You know this is a narcotic. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re on medication like this.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, reaching over and taking the bottle from him, but not before I became overly aware of the way our fingers brushed.

  “I’m sure you will be, but what if you’re not?” He was eyeing me skeptically and while I wanted to tell him to relax and that I’d never had a negative reaction to medication in all my life, I appreciated his concern. “I’m more concerned about Noah. If you should need something or if he needs something and you can’t manage it for some reason, someone else should be here.”

  “What are you saying, Jeremy?”

  “I’m saying you shouldn’t be alone. I’m happy to stay on the couch until morning to make sure everyone’s okay.”

  “Jeremy...you don’t have to do that. We’ll be okay,” I said, pausing for a moment as I thought back to what my life had become, and when I spoke again, my voice was low and even I could hear the sadness in it. I’d done a pretty good job of keeping my emotional baggage away from Jeremy, but it was obvious now that the last year had broken me. “I’ve learned how to adapt to being alone. I’ve had to.”

  The room grew quiet and I drew my gaze up and saw he was looking at me. I expected some kind of smile, but he wasn’t smiling. His lips were in a straight line, a slight frown almost, and all I saw was concern on his face now.

  “Well, you don’t have to be alone tonight.” I was startled when he reached down and took my good hand with his, squeezing it supportively. “I won’t be able to live with myself if something happens tonight and I’m not here to help. Hell,” he said, the familiar grin returning to his face. “I’m the reason you’re in this mess in the first place. Please, Beth. Let me stay on the couch and help.”

  He squeezed my hand again and I told myself that I wasn’t breathing any harder under his gaze or that he didn’t smell so damn good. I told myself I should only be focusing on my broken wrist and getting to bed, but I was thinking of him too and truthfully, the thought of him staying under the same roof as Noah and I, protecting us, was a thought I liked. One of the hardest parts of the divorce was getting used to being alone in the house, especially when Noah was there. Any scary sounds or bumps in the night, I was responsible for making it okay. I was the protector. I was the one Noah looked to to tell him there were no monsters under his bed or the sound of the wind outside wasn’t burglars trying to break into our house. It was exhausting being the one to tell him everything would be okay and there was nothing to fear, when the truth was, since Darren moved out, I’d been afraid of everything. I’d overcome so much since then. I was proud of the independence I found in myself, but that didn’t mean I missed someone taking care of me for a change and I knew someone was offering to do that for me. For one night I could sleep peacefully, knowing he was there to keep us safe.

  “Okay,” I finally whispered and relief spread on Jeremy’s face. “There are extra blankets and pillows in the linen closest. You can make up the couch while I get ready for bed.”

  “Let me know if you need anything,” he said as I made my way down the hall.

  I shut the door behind me and I could hear the linen closet door open and then he was making his way back down the hall. I changed into a modest pair of pajamas. I often wore shorts and a tank top to bed, but with Jeremy just down the hall, I knew a pair of gray cotton pants and a t-shirt would be more appropriate.

  Once changed, I brushed my teeth and washed my face as best I could with one hand and then ran a brush through my hair that had been confined in a ponytail for most of the day. I told myself I shouldn’t be nervous as I opened the door to say goodnight to Jeremy, but I w
as nervous.

  He’d spread a sheet out on the couch, covered by a lightweight quilt and was just putting a pillowcase on a pillow when I walked in.

  “Did you find everything you needed?” I asked.

  “Yeah, sure did. Thanks.”

  He tossed the pillow on the couch and then came over to me.

  “You’re all set?” he asked me and I nodded. “You should get to bed then.”

  I felt his hand land gently on my elbow as he led me down the hall and into my bedroom. He walked over to the bed and pulled down the blanket for me.

  “You’re not tucking me in, are you?” I laughed.

  “Only if you want me to,” he said and I grinned as I made my way to the bed, crawling between the cool sheets.

  “Be right back,” he said and then disappeared down the hall, retuning a few moments later with a glass of water, setting it on the night stand. “You’ll let me know if you need anything else, right?”

  “I will,” I answered.

  “Promise?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of my mattress.

  I held up my casted right arm as if I were taking an oath.

  “I swear.” The seriousness in my voice made him laugh and then it grew quiet. “Really, Jeremy,” I finally began, breaking the silence. “I had fun tonight. Thank you for thinking of me and asking me to play.”

  “Tonight was one of the best games I can remember,” he said, his eyes meeting mine and then I felt him take my hand again. “I haven’t known you all that long, Beth, but I’ve noticed you don’t smile much, unless it has something to do with Noah.” His words stung because I knew he was telling the truth. I didn’t smile a lot aside from Noah because I hadn’t had much to smile about since Darren destroyed my life. Tonight had been different though. “You smiled a lot today and I have to tell you…” his voice faded off and I sensed he was nervous because he broke our stare for a second, before looking back at me. “I have to say you’re even prettier when you smile.”