Out of The Box Awakening

by Theriot, Jennifer

  After the trick-or-treat traffic has ended, I turn off the porch lights, lock up, and head up to soak in the tub. I decide that, since Ash is gone, he probably won’t mind if I soak in his tub. I turn on the lights, and the music starts. Gosh, I love this house.

  As I am soaking in that incredible, fragrant bath, my phone rings. Maybe it is Alan! I really miss him, and would love to hear his voice! I look at the caller ID. It’s Ash. Of course, it would be Ash. My heart skips a beat as I answer.

  “Hey handsome! What’s up?”

  “Just calling to make sure someone didn’t kidnap and trick-or-treat you…”

  “That didn’t happen but I did have a lot of kids come by. You have a lot of precious little kids in your neighborhood. It was wonderful.”

  “So glad to hear that. It’s been a very long time since there has been trick-or-treat action at the Harper house. Thanks for bringing life back to the place!”

  I told Ash that Tommy had called, and that I invited his band members over for Thanksgiving. “I hope you don’t mind Ash, but I figured they may not all have family here, and wanted them to feel welcome.”

  “You’re. Amazing, Olivia. Has anyone told you that lately?”

  “No, I can’t say anyone has. But just in case you want to tell me, I’m all ears.”

  “Not even your husband?”

  His question hits me like a bullet. “No, Ash, not even my husband.”

  Sensing that he has hit a nerve, he responds, “Well, he’s crazy. I’m telling you that you are amazing. I’ll be home tomorrow night, so if you are free, would you have dinner with me?”

  “I can make something here if you want,” I offer.

  “No, absolutely not. I want to take you out somewhere special. I’ll make reservations; you just be ready.”

  My heart skips a beat. I am looking forward to seeing him again. “Yes! I would love that! I can’t wait to see you Ash. Sleep well. I’ll be thinking about you in the morning, while I have coffee and read the paper. I’ve been missing my coffee buddy.”

  “Ditto for me, Liv! See you tomorrow. Sleep good, Sunshine!”

  As I head off to work in the morning and I'm already getting excited, knowing I’ll see Ash and go out for a nice dinner. Around noon, I check my phone and find I have a text from him.

  “How is work going? Are you having a good day?”

  “Yes, we are really busy, but the day is going by fast and I can’t wait for dinner!”

  About that time, Sarah comes back to the stock room where I am checking in new merchandise. “There is a floral delivery for Olivia Petersen,” she says.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep! Wonder who these are from?”

  I look at the flowers. They are gorgeous. At first, I think they may be from Alan—perhaps an attempt to apologize? Then I read the card and, though I am somewhat disappointed, I smile when I read, “Hoping your day is as beautiful as you are. See you tonight! Ash”

  “Who are they from?” When I tell her they are from Ash, she nods, studying me. “He is such a great guy. I think he is sweet on you, lucky lady. I can’t name one lady in this town who hasn’t tried to make her way into his life—all unsuccessfully, I might add.”

  I meet Ash at the restaurant, just down from the shop. We have a wonderful dinner. We start with drinks at the bar, taking our time to talk and enjoy spending time with each other. At dinner, we sit directly across from each other. Ash holds my hands on the table and gently rubs his thumbs over my wrists. He looks into my eyes and smiles.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Nothing, just enjoying the view. You’re so pretty, Olivia. Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

  “Ummmmm…I believe you stole that line from a song, Mr. Harper.” We sure do flirty-flirting well! He actually makes flirty-flirting fun. I never talk like that with Alan. He’s very reserved, and not a small talker. We talk about our day, and I tell him how thoroughly I am enjoying my job. Sarah is the perfect boss. She gives me the freedom to make decisions and interact with the clients. It seems like she is confident that I will do a good job, and for that I am grateful. Next week, she has me going out to a new client to do a consultation for holiday decorations. Holiday decorations are one of Sarah’s biggest moneymakers, so I hope I can do a good job. I tell Ash, and he reassures me that the client will love me.

  After a remarkable dinner, we head back to the house. I make us each a coffee and we go up to the den to relax.

  Ash asks me about my relationship with Alan. I’m not sure I am comfortable talking about this with him. He is curious why Alan hasn’t called. I tell him that I am feeling very insecure—I know something is wrong and I just can’t pinpoint why the sudden change. I tell him that Alan has taken calls at odd hours and swears they are from the office. He usually goes into another room to talk, so I have no idea what the content of the conversation is. Then, suddenly the company sends him to London. I just don’t get it.

  I tell Ash that Alan and I don’t have an affectionate, “love-y” relationship. We never did. Alan was attentive, but not overly affectionate. Maybe because he was from such a large family that his folks just didn’t have enough affection to pass around? There was quite a difference in our upbringings. I was an only child, and received a fair share of affection from my parents. My parents weren’t overly affectionate, but I always knew I was loved... That was just how we rolled. I’d tried to impart this trait to my children as well.

  Ash tells me that he and Anne, although they loved each other, didn’t have a demonstrative relationship either. Anne, it seems, was a type-A personality. She always had to have control of every situation. Perhaps that was what made her the brilliant, successful attorney she was. She was at the top of her game in a man’s world. Respected all over the city, she took no prisoners.

  Ash, on the other hand, was mellow, conciliatory, and non-confrontational. He says that he and Anne had a marriage of convenience, by the end. Her dad was a general in the Army, and had gone to West Point. He both demanded and commanded perfection. Anne was forced to live up to his high expectations and that pattern continued into her married life. She had to have everything her way, and Ash said he just got used to it. He told me that while he loved her very much, he felt that maybe after all the years he just wasn’t “in love” with her.

  I began to think that was exactly how I had come to feel about Alan.

  In confidence, I tell Ash that I feel unattractive to Alan, and that I’ve totally lost touch with myself.

  “I can’t believe you feel like that, Olivia. You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.” He gives me a hug and whispers “So beautiful and confident, but yet so insecure.”

  “Right you are, Ash. That would be me.”

  Ash sits on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. I am lying in his lap. I’m totally at ease and relaxed. He strokes my head lightly and brushes my face. Every nerve in my body comes alive. His touch is addictive, gentle, and I crave more.

  I cannot let myself do this. I keep reminding myself that I am married. I have never so much as thought about another man touching me before, but suddenly my thoughts are headed that way.

  “Liv, if you’re uncomfortable with this, please, just say so and I’ll stop.”

  I tell him that I just can’t do this… it feels so right, but it isn’t.

  He tells me that he understands. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “You aren’t upset with me, are you Ash?”

  “Of course not, Olivia. It’s my fault. I won’t let it happen again, I promise. Okay?”

  I sit up, feeling that I should sit at the other end of the couch, or leave the room altogether and just go to bed.

  “No…wait, Olivia…don’t get up. Just stay here…please. No more touching. I promise.”

  I just can’t get up. This feels so right. I begin to rub his arm and he reciprocates, rubbing mine, then stops.

  “No more touching…remember, L
iv?”

  His touch brings about so many sensations I haven’t felt in forever. Feelings and sensations I haven’t experienced—well, ever, I suppose. I shiver and he responds.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m more than okay. Ash, I swear, your touch is amazing and very arousing.”

  “God, Liv! Didn’t you and Alan ever touch each other,” he asks.

  “Look, I am really embarrassed talking to you about things like this, Ash. No, we didn’t tenderly touch. When we had sex, to me it was just ‘doing the deed.’ No real earth shattering things going on. I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. Alan wasn’t keen on my needs, so I guess I suppressed them.”

  “I’m so sorry, hon. That’s his loss. Don’t ever be afraid or ashamed to feel, Liv. You need to experience touch and sensation. You’ll be amazed at what you are missing.”

  I fall asleep in his lap, and he gently wakes me and carries me up to my bed. “Night-night, sleep tight, Liv. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Thanks again for yet another wonderful night, Ash.”

  As Thanksgiving gets closer, I am firming up my meal plans. Ash has given me full reign to plan and execute dinner. Reba tells me again that she can be available if I need her.

  “Reba, you need to go to Atlanta to be with your family. Thanksgiving is a time when families need to be together. You don’t need to be working!”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Petersen. That means a lot. You sure you can handle things?”

  “Yes, of course, Reba. We women can do anything!”

  With Ash in the city, I plan to bake and have a night to myself. I put on one of Alan’s big shirts and head down to the kitchen to do what I love—bake and get ready for our family holidays. I turn up my music and start dancing in the kitchen. Whitney Houston’s “I Want to Dance with Somebody” comes on, and I am in full-out dance mode. I’m cooking and dancing, with a glass of wine in hand. I am totally in my element, thoroughly enjoying the night and feeling the music. I don’t even hear the front door open but I hear a voice in the entryway.

  “Olivia?” Ash comes into the kitchen and catches me dancing. Yes, dancing my ass off…. “Well, well, well, what a wonderful surprise!” he says with a grin. “How sexy she looks—and she cooks too?”

  I am speechless at getting caught. I realize that I am less than dressed, in a long white dress shirt and panties.

  “Busted!” he says.

  “Ash! What are you doing home? I thought you were in the city for the night.”

  “I forgot some files I needed for my meeting, so just decided to come home and get them.”

  “Well, thanks for the warning!”

  “Well, thanks for the show!” he counters.

  I tell him that I am baking for Thanksgiving and was just grooving to the music.

  “It’s a nice surprise. There is nothing better than coming home and finding a woman in my kitchen, sexy as hell, dancing and cooking! Pretty good at multi-tasking, aren’t you?” He gives me a hug and puts his hand in the small of my back. I am once again totally floored by his touch.

  “Do you want a glass of wine? Want to help me cook?” I ask.

  “Let me go upstairs and change, and then, yes, I would love to help you—or better yet, just sit at the bar and watch. You never cease to amaze me, Olivia Petersen!”

  He changes into the drawstring pants and gray T-shirt that are sexy as hell on him. When he comes back down he swoops me into his arms.

  “So, have you talked to Alan? When is he coming in?”

  I tell him that I haven’t reached him yet, and that I will call him in the morning.

  Ash is so attentive. He tells me he’s excited about the holidays. “I don’t think my twins will be coming in, but for sure Tommy and the band members will be here. I hope you can handle everyone who’s coming for Thanksgiving, Liv. I hate to put everything on you. I know you can handle it, but if you need help, you need to let Reba know.”

  “I told Reba to go to Atlanta to be with her family. I can do this. I promise this will be a special Thanksgiving, Ash. I’ll call Alan in the morning and get his itinerary. Hopefully, everyone’s flight will coincide so we can just make one, maybe two trips to the airport to get everyone. I can’t wait for our families to meet. I promise, this will be a holiday to remember.”

  Ash gives me a bear hug and tells me that he has no doubt I will make the holiday special. We have a glass of wine and check my baked goods.

  “You are an amazing cook, Olivia! The kitchen smells so good. I can’t remember when I’ve looked forward to the holidays as much as this year!”

  We finish cooking; do a basic clean-up, then Ash tells me he’s heading up to bed.

  “I had just planned on coming to get my files, but I am really tired, so think I’ll just stay and leave around five in the morning.”

  “I’ll have coffee ready and see you off in the morning.”

  “You don’t have to get up that early…but if you want to, that would be great, Liv, thanks! Sleep tight.”

  Ash heads to bed. I finish cleaning the kitchen, wrap up my baked goods, and put them in the freezer. I head up to bed, passing his room on my way up. He doesn’t realize I am standing by his door, and I see him, just after his shower, standing with his back to me…naked.

  Dear God! What a muscular beautiful, lean body he has. He’s drying off; his hair is tousled and wet. There are beads of water on his back. He turns to the side and I slip back behind the doorframe so he won’t see me. He’s definitely, without a doubt, well-endowed! I am aroused just looking at him. I realize that I shouldn’t be here staring at him, but I can’t help it. For a man of almost sixty he’s in great shape, his body the epitome of a well-oiled machine.

  Alan is very modest. He always showers and dresses with the door closed. I never get to look at him after he’s showered, so looking at Ash is a real treat. He’s confident and seems very comfortable with his body exposed. I could stand here and look at him forever. He has that perfect “V” from the waist down. A definite turn-on—a turn-on I haven’t felt in forever. What a gorgeous man he is.

  I quickly leave the doorway and head up to my room, hoping he hasn’t seen me spying. I would love to curl up in bed with him. I am so lonely and unfulfilled. I desperately crave his touch. I hop in the bath and find solace in the hot water, attempting to put the thought of his touch out of my mind. I remind myself that I’m a married woman, and I need to stop thinking about Ash!

  The next morning, bright and early at 5:00 a.m., Ash and I have our ritual coffee and newspaper.

  “I’ll be in the city for the next couple of days, Liv. I’ll call or text to check on you. Let me know when Alan will be in. I‘ll be available to pick our guests up at the airport. No worries.”

  Sarah has given me two days off, to prepare for the holiday season. I have a decorating assignment after Thanksgiving, but until then I have a few days to spend with the family.

  The kids call me that night to check in and let me know that they will be in on Wednesday. Tommy calls, also, and I tell him that his father is in the city.

  “Looking forward to Thanksgiving, Olivia! Todd and Steve are coming for Thanksgiving dinner. I hope that’s okay. Dad said to check with you”.

  “Of course, Tommy! I am looking forward to it!”

  “My band is playing in town on Friday, so I would love for you and dad and your kids to come watch us play. I’m looking forward to meeting your kids.”

  Chapter 11

  I decide to call Alan and see when he will be in. He answers on the fourth ring.

  “Olivia, hey, what’s up,” he asks rather curtly. He is being dismissive and vague.

  “Alan, you were supposed to call and let me know when your flight would be in. I kinda need to know.” He sounds occupied, and somewhat perturbed. I feel like I am bothering him by calling. “Where are you Alan? Why do you sound like I’m bothering you…you sound, well really weird. What’s wrong?”

 
“Olivia, listen…Ummm, I won’t be able to make it in for Thanksgiving. I have business in London, so won’t be home until after New Year’s, actually.”

  “What? Are you kidding me? This has to be a joke, Alan, and it isn’t funny. I mean it!”

  “Listen, I know the timing is bad, but since I’m not where we can actually sit down and talk face to face, I have to tell you this way…and…. Olivia, I am so sorry. It’s true that work is keeping me in London, but I also have to tell you that I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now, and I am not coming home. At least, not in the sense of us as a couple.”

  “Wait… Alan, are you telling me that you’ve slept with another woman? You’ve been unfaithful? Why? What have I done to deserve this Alan? I thought we were moving here to start over. Please! I don’t understand!”

  Sounding a bit perturbed, he says... “Liv, look, it’s complicated. I hate to have to tell you this way, but there is no better way or time to do this. I can’t lie anymore. This is killing me and it’s not fair to either of you.”

  Either of us? Is he kidding me? Do I really care what her feelings are? How much time has she put into the relationship? I’ve put goddam-near thirty years into mine! The times he went into another room to take a call “from work”? Was he really talking to her?

  My heart sinks as I realize that my fears and suspicions are all now front and center. I sense that this other woman is in the room with him while he is talking to me; because of the way he’s speaking.

  My intuitions were true. Right now, I just need to get off the phone with him... How could he do this to me? I am so confused and I don’t know what to say. I feel a panic attack coming on.

  “Olivia, say something!”

  I can’t—I can’t say a word. I can’t breathe. I feel embarrassed, hurt, ashamed, dirty, and like I’ve just been made the biggest fool in the world by someone I vowed to love till death do us part. Someone who vowed fidelity to me. My world has just come to a dead end.

  “Olivia, are you still there? Come on! Talk to me dammit! Say something!”