What A Person Wants

by Bell, Kris

  “Stop being a scary ass. If I’m going, you going in,” he had told me when we first got on the road.

  “I'm not being scary, stupid. I just don’t want to go. I don't feel like being around a bunch of people today.”

  Rhys looked at me as though I were a six-year-old about to throw a tantrum. “You only don’t want to go ‘cause you know her man is supposed to be there, and you don’t want to get your feelings hurt. Man the hell up, dude! You. Are. Going. So quit your bitching, get your shit together and let's roll.”

  I had no choice but to shut up, and accepted my rebuke…for the moment. I didn’t start up again until we were about to pull up into her apartment complex.

  “So,” I began as casually as possible. “Just what does this fool look like? I don’t recall seeing any pictures.”

  I could feel Rhys’ eyes cut over to me from the passenger’s seat. I pretended not to notice, though. I looked through the rearview mirror instead. Tiffany was all frowns and sucked teeth. She was going to enjoy this even less than me.

  "He looks like a man," Rhys sighed as he shook his head at me.

  I stole a quick glance at Rhys as I pulled into an empty space a ways away from Isabel’s apartment. Apparently, several guests had already arrived judging from the amount of cars in the lot in front of her place. I parked, but didn’t shut off the car.

  “Man, it’s not that I care what he looks like-” I began.

  “Because you do!”

  “Well, that’s beside the point. I just want to know what the dude looks like in case I run into him. Is he short, fat, ugly and bowlegged?”

  I could hear Tiff suck her teeth again and sigh heavily. Rhys rolled his eyes in her direction, jaws clenched. She was irritating him, but for the moment he was letting her childishness go.

  “Kyle is alright. He looks like an average dude. What do you want me to say? Just stop acting like a little bitch, and go inside and enjoy yourself.”

  I quickly jumped on the defensive. “What do you mean I’m acting like a bitch? I’m not acting like a bitch!”

  “Richie, you’re totally acting like a bitch. You don’t want to meet Izzy’s man, but you want to know what he looks like, wishing that he was ugly and shit. That is a straight bitch move right there! Get over it, Rich!” Then Rhys got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Tiff following slowly behind.

  I watched them walk up to the building. I sighed. He was right. I was acting like a bitch. I had spent so much time with Isabel that somewhere along the way I had forgotten she wasn’t mine. Every day I found myself becoming more jealous of a man whom I had never met just because he could claim a friend I adored as his woman. Damn! Rhys is right. I just need to get over myself and let it go.

  I got out of the car, but made no move to catch up with Rhys and Tiffany. They stood talking to each other outside Isabel’s apartment on the sidewalk. I couldn't tell if they were waiting for me or merely taking a moment to themselves.

  What if Kyle and Isabel are all over each other like newlyweds? What if he kisses her in front of me? Is he really as good looking as Isabel described him? How should I introduce myself? Random thoughts assailed me and made my stomach tighten with nerves. But I couldn't stay in this parking lot forever.

  Steeling myself, I strode over to Rhys and Tiffany who were still running at the mouth. I made it this far. Might as well get it over with.

  ISABEL

  After talking to Tara about the idea of a simple dinner party for Kyle earlier in the week, I figured it would be a good way to keep my spirits up after the fiasco at my former job as well as welcoming him home. He hadn't seen a lot of our friends since before he left, and I knew he would appreciate it. So I threw myself into planning a fun evening at my apartment, which helped take my mind off of my sudden unemployment. I was not used to having this much free time on my hands. Thank god Kyle was coming home. It gave me something to do.

  I had invited twelve people: my mother, Tara, Lawanda, Rhys, Tiffany, Richie, Kyle's parents, and a couple of Kyle's airmen friends and their wives. So far, everyone except Rhys, Richie, Lawanda and Tiffany had arrived. Everyone milled around the open space of my living room/dining room combo, conversing and enjoying each other. I went back and forth between there and the kitchen, constantly bringing out extra plates or drinks to add to the already full spread. I had laid out all of Kyle's favorite dishes: baked ziti, parmesan chicken wings, roasted potatoes and peppers, collard greens with ham hocks, and three types of salad. It was a pricey and time consuming meal, but with Tara's help in the grocery store and my mother's help in the kitchen, we had pulled it off.

  I was about to tell everyone to help themselves to the food I had set out on the dining room table buffet style when Kyle said he had to step out for a minute.

  My jaw dropped at the news. "What do you mean you have to leave?" I asked quietly. We stood alone in the kitchen, but I didn't want my voice to carry to the other guests in the next room. "We're about to start eating and you're the guest of honor!"

  "I know, baby, and I thank you for all of this." Although Kyle's mouth said "thank you," he looked completely unfazed by everything. He wouldn't even look at me. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his car key.

  "Besides," he continued, "I'll be right back. I just have to make a quick stop. Everyone can start eating. No need to wait for me." He turned on the spot and walked out of my apartment without speaking to anyone.

  As soon as he left, Tara came into the kitchen and found me with my mouth still wide open in shock.

  "Izzy?" Tara asked softly. She was careful to keep her face blank, but I could see anger in her eyes. "Where the hell is Kyle going? Doesn't he know we're all here for him? Please tell me he's on an ice run."

  I threw my hands in the air and shook my head. "I have no idea where he's going. He just said he had to leave."

  Tara sucked her teeth and put her hands on her hips. Before either of us could say more, my mother came around the corner with a cell phone in her hand.

  "Honey, your phone keeps going off. Someone is desperately trying to contact you." She handed the phone to me and rejoined the other guests in the living room. The phone was almost identical to my black iPhone except for the small hairline crack going across the right corner of the screen. I immediately recognized it as Kyle's phone.

  Sure enough, almost as soon as my mother left the kitchen, the phone started going off. Looking at the screen, I saw a text pop up from someone named "Bae."

  I froze. Surely this wasn't what I thought it was.

  Tara noticed me staring hard at the phone. She gently took it out of my hand looked on the screen. She gasped.

  "Who the hell is 'Bae'!" she yelled. I shushed her and waited to see if anyone was coming to check on the noise. No one did. I snatched the phone back and stared at the name.

  "Tara, 'Bae' is short for 'baby' isn't it? It's like calling someone your 'boo,' right?" I asked. Tara didn't respond, but the sadness in her eyes was enough confirmation for me. I swiped the screen of the cell phone and brought up Kyle's text messages.

  "Oh my god," I breathed. The first conversation in the inbox was Bae. I scanned the last few messages feeling sicker with every line I read.

  Kyle: I can't wait to see you again. I miss you lying next to me.

  Bae: I know. I miss u 2.

  Kyle: I'll get away later. I need to be inside you. I'm craving a taste.

  Bae: LOL I bet u r! Y not come now? I'll be waiting.

  Kyle: Ten minutes.

  Bae: Good :) I luv u baby

  Kyle: I love you too, Lawanda.

  Bae: No problem getting away rite?

  Bae: How much time do we have?

  Bae: R u really coming?

  Suddenly, the air in the apartment seemed to be nonexistent. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think straight. The only thing I could do was read those lines over and over again in disbelief. Kyle was having an affair and the reason he left my dinner was to be with her - Lawanda. />
  "What is it?" Tara asked, worried. She moved next to me and read the open conversation I couldn't tear my eyes away from. I heard her gasp again as she understood the truth.

  "That son of a bitch!" Tara said under her breath. "I cannot believe he would do something like this! Cheating bastard!" She turned to me, her face contorted in fury. "And please tell me that 'Lawanda' person isn't who I think it is."

  Lawanda? I reread the text message and began to feel anger taking over my state of disbelief. Lawanda, my best cousin, did confess that she was involved with a married man and that he was "coming home to her." Surely, she didn't mean...

  With shaking hands, I exited out of the text messages on Kyle's phone and pulled up his photo gallery. While there was no picture assigned to Bae, or Lawanda, I knew there had to be a picture somewhere. There had to be proof of who Bae really was. I scanned the thumbnails quickly with Tara next to me trying to get a glimpse.

  "There!" she pointed. I clicked on the photo she pointed to and made it bigger.

  Sitting arm-in-arm was Lawanda and Kyle in the same steakhouse Kyle took me to when I visited him in Texas. While Kyle smiled for the camera, Lawanda smiled at Kyle. The amount of happiness on both their faces made me want to puke.

  I couldn’t remember a time I was more livid than I was at that moment. I was so angry, hurt and betrayed that I couldn’t even see straight. All I saw was red. Shit! I saw magenta. Kyle and Lawanda? My cousin and my fiancé? This couldn't be real.

  But it was. Between Kyle's lack of interest in me, Lawanda's sudden happiness as someone's mistress and the evidence in his phone, I had all the proof I needed.

  How dare they! Feeling the need to hit someone, I reached back and threw his phone as hard as I could against the wall. The sound of splintering glass and plastic was enough to shock everyone in my apartment, but I still wasn't satisfied. I walked over to the broken phone lying on the floor and began stomping on the pieces.

  "Lying sack of shit! How could you!" I screamed at the destroyed phone as I continued stomping.

  Tara came from the kitchen and spoke to everyone in the room. I heard her talking, but I couldn't make out her words. I didn't care. I was so angry, I felt like my skin was on fire. She could deal with the guests. I didn't have the patience.

  "Isabel? What in the world is going on?" My mother walked up to me and tried to pull me aside. I brushed her hand off me and looked at her. She didn't know what was wrong, but it didn't take a genius to know I was pissed. Her face was full of concern for me, but I didn't want comfort. I wanted to make Kyle and Lawanda hurt.

  Glancing past my mother, I saw Mr. and Mrs. Bennett sitting side-by-side on my sofa, confused. Seeing Kyle's parents was enough for me. I finally addressed the room.

  "Sorry for the show folks, but I need everyone to leave. Now."

  Mrs. Bennett stood up. "Isabel, do you care to explain why you invited us all here for my son if you were just going to kick us out? If you couldn't commit to being a decent hostess, then I could have thrown a party for him myself."

  Seriously? I stepped further into the room with my mother hot on my heels. I addressed Mrs. Bennett. "With all due respect, Mrs. Bennett, your son is the one who doesn't know how to commit. In fact, he's a lying, cheating, sorry-ass excuse for a man who just abandoned my dinner to go fuck his mistress. So I will not celebrate him. If you don't like that, oh well! Deal with it, but get the hell out of my house!"

  "Izzy!" my mother yelled. No doubt I had embarrassed her to her core, but I didn't care. I just wanted everyone gone.

  After I spoke to Mrs. Bennett and everyone knew I was serious, they filed out. Everyone, that is, except Tara and my mother. Just as the last guest was leaving, Richie, Rhys and Tiffany came into the house; each looked perplexed.

  "What's going on? Did we miss it?" Rhys asked my mother as they came in. She shrugged, lost. Tara filled them in while I began to pace the floor, infuriated.

  “I cannot believe that motherfucker would do some shit like that to me!” I grunted through clenched teeth. “Just wait until their asses walk up in here. Just fucking wait!”

  My friends tried to give me words of encouragement, but I waved them away. The only one who seemed as angry as me was Tara.

  “All I know,” Tara said loudly over everyone else's pointless encouragements, “is that as soon as they walk in this house, I’m gonna slap the taste out of Lawanda's mouth.”

  “That’s if I don’t get to her ass first,” I growled. I walked over to the window hoping Kyle or Lawanda were about to pull up. But I didn't see anyone except Kyle's two friends and one of their wives standing in the parking lot, talking. I left the window and continued to walk up and down the room.

  “Honey," my mother began, “try to calm down a bit. I know you're hurt right now. Trust me. I've been there. I never wanted you to feel this type of pain, but you have got to get a hold of yourself. Don't do something out of anger you'll regret later."

  “Seriously, Mom?” I yelled, infuriated. “You weren't thinking of being calm when those chicks Petey was fucking came over to your house and called you out. You were pissed then, and I'm pissed now. And as soon as he walks his ass back in here, I'm gonna deal with him. So back off!"

  “I damn sure don't care what you do, but Izzy, don’t curse at your mama. She's only looking out for you,” said Tara.

  “Why should I watch what I say?” I yelled. Deep down, I knew my mom and Tara were right, but I was past the point of rationality. The sound of a car pulling up to my apartment pushed me even further over the edge. I was angry, soaked in sweat and ready to lay my hands on someone.

  I ran to the door, but before I could make it half way, a bunch of hands came out of nowhere and pulled me back.

  “Get the fuck off of me!” I yelled loud enough for the Lord Himself to hear. “I’m gonna kill 'em! Let me go! Get the fuck OFF OF ME!”

  “Isabel! Wait a minute! You can’t go off like that! Calm down some first. You’ll get to deal with them both. Just calm down!” my mother yelled, holding me around the waist.

  I continued to fight, but I could also hear someone outside of my front door. I knew it was Kyle, but I heard someone else with him. I could only assume it was Lawanda. Good. I could give the both of them a piece of my mind and a punch from my fist. Kyle and Lawanda hesitantly walked into the house, silent and wide-eyed. I knew they had heard me yelling through the door in my fight to get to them. I didn't care.

  As soon as he closed the door behind him, I broke free from my mother and friends, walked right up to my now ex-fiancé and smacked the hell out of him.

  “Motherfucker! After all I’ve done for your sorry ass! For as long as I stayed committed to you when you weren’t here! You give me thanks by fucking my cousin? My family? What is wrong with you? What did I do to you to deserve this!”

  I continued to strike him, hitting any piece of flesh that was exposed to me all the while crying and screaming. I was so hyped up from the adrenaline flowing through my body that I didn’t even notice when he pushed me rather roughly from him and slapped me across my face.

  The shock of him hitting me stopped me in my tracks. My mother ran to my side and pulled me away from Kyle. Not that she needed to. Richie and Rhys both rushed past me get to him. Before I could open my mouth and assure my mother that physically I was okay, they had Kyle held up to the wall by his neck. The harder Kyle struggled against them, the rougher they held him. I heard Lawanda screeching in the background, yelling for them to let Kyle go, but everyone ignored her. Tiffany, on the other hand, never said anything. She stood to the side with her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide like saucers.

  Unlike the guys who used their hands to detain Kyle, Tara went and grabbed a cast iron skillet from the kitchen.

  “Nah! Let him go! I want him to try and hit her again, that cheating fuck!” she yelled. “I ain’t got a bat, but I swear before God, I’ll use this skillet and go Barry Bonds on your ass! Try me!”

  “
Isabel, what the hell is wrong with you?” Kyle yelled over Tara's threats.

  “Naw, fool! What’s wrong with you?” my mom asked. Obviously, there wasn't a need to calm down anymore. Now my mom was angry, which meant her loud side was about to explode. “I know you didn’t just hit my daughter! You done lost your ever loving mind!”

  Richie let Rhys hold Kyle against the wall as he approached me. He gently grabbed my face and tilted it up to his. I could see the muscles in his jaw tightening at the sight of my newly bruised face, but I wasn’t too focused on him. I was focused on Kyle.

  Richie stalked up to Kyle who began to struggle even harder against Rhys to escape. I can’t say I blamed him. Richie wanted to pummel Kyle as much as I did, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him instead. As much as I wanted to see someone hurt Kyle, I needed answers first. I needed to know why this had taken place. I gestured for Rhys to let Kyle go. I wasn't scared of him attacking me, not with my friends here. No way could he get close to me again.

  Rhys frowned as he let Kyle go. He and Richie stood on either side of him ready to pounce if he made a move. He didn't.

  “What the hell is going on?” Lawanda yelled.

  “What’s going on is that you're messing around with your cousin's fiancé, and we all know it. Slut!"

  Tara was never one to bite her tongue, but I held up my hand to silence her so that I could speak.

  “Um, Lawanda," I said quietly, my breath hitching. "I’m supposed to be one of your best friends, but more than that, I’m your family. Your blood! What the hell possessed you to sleep with my man?”

  “And don’t try to lie, ho! We got you on candid camera, bitch,” Tara cosigned, pointing to Kyle's destroyed cell phone on the floor.

  My mother finally acknowledged Lawanda. I had never seen my mother look so disappointed in another person, and I hope to never see that expression again.

  "Lawanda, is this true?" my mother asked.

  Lawanda looked as though she wanted to crawl underneath a rock and die, but her expression did nothing to sway me. Kyle, on the other hand, looked smug as hell. The nerve of him!