Closed Doors and Broken Mirrors

by S R Nulton

  He blinked. “Err, yes. There is that. But you haven’t answered me. How are you?”

  Instead of answering immediately, I decided to think about it first. It was a simple question but a complicated answer.

  “I’m conflicted. I am still angry about everything that happened. I don’t think that will go away quickly because all the fear I lived with has to go somewhere. Well, most of it anyway. I’m still a bit afraid, but mostly that this is just a dream and he isn’t really dead.”

  Spinner nodded. “That’s understandable. But why are you conflicted?”

  “Because I’m horrified that I killed him, even if it was an accident, but I’m also happy and relieved that he’s finally gone. I feel so free but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now. My daughter doesn’t really need me anymore. I mean, she’ll say that she does, but it isn’t the same as me having to protect and raise her. And I’m not stuck here anymore but going home won’t really help anything. I’m not the same person who was taken from the mountain. So, I don’t really know how I feel.”

  “But you are willing to figure it out. You aren’t hiding from it. It won’t be easy for you, but it is necessary.”

  I sighed. “I know. Any advice?”

  “Well, I haven’t been through the same things as you, but I would say that you need to be around people who remind you that you are strong even when you feel weak, because you will. You now have the luxury of examining everything you’ve done and seeing what could have happened. Don’t fall into that trap. What’s done is done and second guessing everything will only make you an emotional mess. Acknowledge what happened and realize that you made the choices that you thought were best at the time. There is only one merit in finding a better way after the fact, and that is if you remember it when dealing with a similar situation. Otherwise, don’t criticize yourself or compare.”

  “I know. Comparison is the enemy of contentment and joy.” It was something I’d been taught from a young age but was difficult to remember when you were in the midst of something difficult.

  I thanked Spinner and he told me he’d check in regularly then started to speak to the captain. I used the moment of quiet to sit back and think about what he’d told me. While they chatted, I went back over everything that had happened from the moment I was kidnapped. Don’t you hate it when you realize that what you warned someone about something your fail at? It always makes me feel like a hypocrite.

  From the time she was little, I cautioned Snow about comparing herself to others, even when thinking how much better off she was. Thinking things like, ‘At least I’m not as poor as a gutter-rat,’ or ‘It isn’t as bad as it could be,’ opens you up to all sorts of negative thoughts. And holding up your actions against what a perfect version of you would have done is a recipe for discontent and disaster. No one is perfect and all comparison does is make you look down on yourself and others.

  It took a moment for me to realize that the room was quiet once again. When I looked up, Spinner was gone and Dallin was watching me, his eyes soft.

  “Feel better now? It seemed like you needed to work through a few things in your head.”

  I bit my lip then took a deep breath. “I was being haunted by how badly things could have been and how much better they should have been and stopped living in reality for a little bit. It’s easy to fall into, though. Children are taught to be grateful by being told about all those who have less than they do. It rarely helps and follows you through to adulthood, giving you this false sense of gratitude. Really, it’s just arrogance. Comparison is all about pride and I forgot that for a bit, falling into old habits. I’ll have to remember better.”

  “I can help with that, you know.” I cocked my head to the side and frowned until he continued. “I can be there with you every day and list all the wonderful things in your life. I can stand with you as we watch each sunrise, unique from every other, and remind you that you are too magnificent to be compared to anything or anyone else. I can show you the beauty in your flaws and the good that has come out of your mistakes. If you let me and if you are ready.”

  I started tearing up about halfway through his speech, hardly able to believe what I was hearing. I just needed to know one thing. “Why? Why me? You tried to tell me before, but it didn’t make sense.”

  Dallin smiled and shook his head. “You are a strong woman, Caillte. You were a girl forced into circumstances that threatened to break you and instead you twisted them to suit you. You raised a wonderful woman without any help and trained her to be anything she wanted to be, from a trapper to a queen. You saved her life while going mad and managed to set a rebellion into motion without ever leaving these woods. And you are still kind enough to regret the death of an evil man who did his best to ruin your life. In your words, you are a flavorful staple. Why wouldn’t I want you by my side?

  “So, my queen, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

  I frowned. “I’m not a queen anymore, you know. I don’t think I ever was.”

  “You’ve always been a queen. Being married to a king has nothing to do with it. You’re nobility is innate and you will always rule my heart. Now answer the question, Caillte.”

  Without another moment’s hesitation, I nodded before letting him pull me close.

  And then, finally, I let him kiss me.

  It was worth the wait.

  ~

  The capital was a bit of a shock for me, to be perfectly honest. I’d grown up in a bustling underground city with a boisterous people, but I’d lived in isolation for the past 15 years. We’d managed to make good time and I’d thought the main roads crowded, but it was nothing to the pure madness of the city itself. Everyone that could come for Snow’s coronation had. Every inn, hotel, pub, and boarding house was full and people had started pitching tents outside the city walls and in alleys throughout the city of Fessrel.

  Luckily, or perhaps unfortunately, I was recognized almost as soon as I rode through the gates and we were given plenty of space. Murmurs of ‘the queen’ and ‘her stepmother’ preceded me, along with several much cruder comments. Finally, I had enough.

  If they need something to hate, I’ll give them something to hate.

  So, I dropped my disguise, changing from the elegant blonde woman I had pretended to be for years and letting my mixed heritage shine.

  Do you know, it is quite astounding what will quiet a crowd? It was like someone had cast a silencing spell.

  Naturally, Dallin looked over at me and grinned before picking up my hand and kissing it gently.

  Unsurprisingly, Snow met us outside her palace gate as we entered the town square. Someone had clearly run ahead to warn her of my arrival. By that point, we’d also accumulated quite the following.

  As soon as she saw me, Snow yelled out, “Mama!” and ran toward me to give me a hug.

  The crowd wasn’t quite sure what to do with this. In their defense, they hadn’t heard anything good about me and when I finally show up for the first time, I don’t even look human. They were probably worried that their new queen had been bewitched by me.

  That didn’t matter much though, not with my little girl in my arms. “Hello, little light! How are things going with you?”

  She laughed. “As if you don’t know! How long are you staying? Did the rooms at the manor get crammed with extra furniture too? Why haven’t you written? Oh! Hello Captain Craftis. Thank you for escorting my mother to the capital.” The last part was said in her most royal voice.

  I snorted. “Really? Now you try to act formal? After throwing yourself at me? I’m sure you’ve shocked your subjects thoroughly already. There’s no point in going back,” I chided. Then, just to needle her, I added, “And you might want to start calling him Dallin.”

  She blinked. “Why? It isn’t really appropriate. I barely know him.”

  “Yes, but it would sound odd to call family by his last name. Don’t you think?”

  One, two, three, I counted, waiting for her to gras
p my meaning. Fou–

  “You’re getting married!” she squealed, reminding me of the little girl I’d met so many years ago. Particularly when she hugged me again and then proceeded to dance with me. Much to the crowd’s confusion and Dallin’s amusement. “Skies! This is so exciting! Oh! But what does that make the captain? Since you’re technically my stepmother, does that make him my stepfather or my step-stepfather? Since you’re remarrying…” She eyed my fiancé dubiously.

  He just shrugged in response. “Call me whatever you like. Dallin is fine, as is Uncle or whatever you choose. But perhaps we should discuss this more inside?”

  Snow nodded and led us through the palace gates, still chattering about how excited she was and the crowd began to disperse so they could spread the gossip.

  All is as it should be.

  ~

  I’d never been to a coronation before, but I was quite certain that there’d never been one quite like Snow’s.

  She was resplendent, of course, in a comfortable gown that a few seamstresses had collaborated on. It was poppy red with white and black accents to match her coloring. The bodice was fairly tight and traditional, but the skirt had been sewn into individual panels that draped beautifully and allowed my daughter to move easily, particularly with her wearing dark trousers underneath. It was a daring fashion statement, but it fit her personality. She was both a lady and a woman of the people; she needed to look like she fit with both worlds.

  Another change was that instead of taking place inside, the entire ceremony was held outdoors at the bottom of a hill so everyone could see and the sounds would echo off of the surrounding buildings to make listening easier as well.

  The ceremony was, of course, presided over by Spinner. He had mirrored in for precisely that reason, bringing a familiar couple along with him. Spinner's grandson and Joy were engaged, which I found odd because I thought I remembered that they were already married. Then again, I was crazy when I met them so I didn't trust my memory of things. They sat alongside the representatives from our allies who were there as witnesses, ensuring that Snow had the support of their respective nations.

  “Do you, Princess Snow White, swear to work for the good of the people of Fretche? Do you promise to put them before yourself? To shepherd and guide them?”

  “With all my heart,” she responded in a clear voice.

  “And do you promise to act differently than your father before you? To rule with kindness and care and to support all citizens equally?”

  “I promise to try and to accept correction where I fail.”

  That seemed to please the crowd, although it might become a recipe for baseless complaints later on. Still, it was what needed to be said.

  “Then I declare you Queen Snow White of Fretche. Long may you live and well may you rule.”

  Everyone broke into a loud cheer and the roar could probably be heard for miles. Snow stood there, an onyx and gold crown on her brow and smiled. After a few minutes, though, she held up a hand and waited for people to quiet.

  “Thank you,” she said when they finally did. “I have two announcements today. The first is my engagement to Prince James of Alenia.” There were some startled gasps, but generally everyone seemed happy about it. Any dissent seemed to disappear when they saw just who Prince James was. As soon as they recognized him as the man who had accompanied Snow while she journeyed the country, they were much more pleased with the match.

  “The other announcement is we are going to be having a wedding ceremony today! No, not mine. That won’t happen until I’ve fixed a few things first. No, it is my mother who will be getting married today. So, Mama, Dallin, the stage is yours!”

  I blinked and looked over at Dallin, who seemed equally as stunned. Clearly this was a surprise wedding for both of us. My groom soon recovered enough to pull me up and drag me to stand in front of Spinner.

  “Are you sure? I would understand if you want to back out,” I asked Dallin.

  He laughed. “Why would I want that? I’ve been trying to get you to marry me since I met you. You just weren’t available before recently.”

  I shook my head with a grin and looked over at the Spinner.

  “Very well, let’s begin. First, I am proud to know both of you. The way you have each handled the difficulties in your lives are a credit to you as people. I am thrilled that you found each other. Now, Caillte Lynn Cree, you are a strong woman who loves with her whole heart. Do you take Captain Dallin Craftis to be your husband? Will you love him, even if he ages slower than you do? Will you respect him, even when he acts like a fool? And will you obey him, even if you don’t understand? Finally, will you forsake all others and cling only to him?”

  It was different from my first vows, not that I remembered them, but it also meant more than those did. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

  “And Captain Dallin Craftis, you are a warrior who has seen both the best and the worst of your people yet retained your humor and compassion. Do you take Caillte Lynn Cree to be your wife? Will you respect her, even if you don’t understand her feelings? Will you obey her, even if you have a different idea? Will you love her, even if she ages faster than you? Finally, will you forsake all others and cling only to her?”

  Dallin’s smile was nearly blinding and he seemed to glow with happiness as he said, “Absolutely.”

  “Then, as High King of Brenlew,” the audience started gasping and muttering at that, mostly because they’d thought it was an imaginary country, “I link the two of you for your lives. You no longer belong to yourselves but to each other. I pronounce you Husband and Wife! I suggest you kiss your bride, Captain.”

  It wasn’t until I was swept up into a kiss that I realized something had been odd about Spinner’s words. More specifically, how he emphasized certain ones. Then again, I was too busy getting married and kissed senseless to really think about it.

  That was until I felt the energy building around us.

  At that point, I pretty much knew that something strange had happened.

  When Dallin and I broke apart, we looked around at the stunned faces of the crowd and then turned to Spinner.

  “What was that?” I asked suspiciously.

  “Oh, nothing. Just a little spell. You two are now bound by your vows. You will be reminded every time you are close to breaking them in anyway.” He grinned then pointedly looked at our wrists, specifically at a glowing design that was on each of our left arms. “Those will glow brightly when you aren’t following what you said. It won’t be visible to any but you, however it will give you the ability to choose just how much you meant what you said. And it will also remind you exactly which vow you are breaking, so you won’t have to worry about forgetting.”

  I pursed my lips at him but I felt my shoulders begin to shake. I could feel Dallin facing the same issue. Finally, we both gave in and started laughing.

  What else could you do?

  EPILOGUE

  Caillte Lynn

  “I’m still not sure that there is such a thing as a working honeymoon,” I griped as Dallin and I strode into the palace. “I mean, isn’t a honeymoon supposed to be a break from reality so that we don’t sicken those around us with our lovey-dovey habits? Because that would indicate that we shouldn’t have been sent to speak to the rest of the continent and our families.”

  Dallin shook his head, already used to this argument. “We only went to two other countries. Well, three if you count the dwarves. The point is, it wasn’t the entire continent. And my sister was bound to cause problems for us if we didn’t go visiting. Besides, it was nice to get to show off my magnificent wife to my friends.”

  “Yes. Believe me, I know. You told them, several times.” I just growled in exasperation. We’d had a lot of fun, to be honest, and it gave me a break from being trapped in the manor. It also helped me get used to being around people again, which is much more difficult than it sounds. I was thoroughly impressed with Snow's ability to adapt so quickly, particularly seeing as how sh
e'd never been around a lot of people before and I had.

  To tell the truth, our trip would have been more pleasant if we hadn't decided to travel in the height of winter, but it had been nice overall. Not terribly romantic, but that was Snow’s fault, not Dallin’s.

  Speaking of my little light…

  “Mama!” she exclaimed before throwing herself into my arms. “How was your trip?”

  “Not bad, but we have something we need to talk to you about. Privately.”

  She pulled back and looked at me in amazement. “What, already? How do you know?”

  I blinked but chose not to ask. Instead, I pulled her into the library and Dallin shut the door behind us. It was technically her office as well, as she was too used to hiding out in a library to shift to a more appropriate space.

  “There is a problem cropping up in the other countries and I think we might be facing it too. A number of young women have gone missing lately. They are generally well to-do, although not necessarily nobles.”

  She frowned. “What? Wait, how do you know?”

  I looked over at Dallin, but he seemed to be amused by something, so I continued. “The King Tiertanal, his fiancé’s sister went missing, so they started looking into it. It turns out that she wasn’t the only one. Actually, she’s the only one that doesn’t fit in with the other pattern. I know that there are a lot of young women missing here, but…”

  “No, I can’t be certain where they are. I’ve tracked down a few, but it’s hard. Slavers don’t keep good records and when Rancune disappears from Crysallia, so did a lot of her helpers. But I’ll put my ear to the ground. How many seem to fit with the pattern?”

  I sighed. “Ten so far. I’m hoping no more go missing, but… well, I’ll be checking your father’s old journals to see if there are any clues to be had. It's actually very frustrating because they are hidden from the mirrors somehow. Spinner has been training me how to use them, but even he can't find the girls.”