Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  I would rather be caught by Emma than by Jonah.

  On my third trip to the water pump, I noticed Nathan was sitting on the porch with Benjamin, watching us. While waiting for the pail to fill, I chanced a glance at Nathan’s old friend while they talked. Benjamin had not changed: thin and in faded English clothes, his hair shorter than Nathan’s, but still a wild mess as it splayed out over his ears and forehead. His countenance was different from the two times I had seen him before. He smiled a little easier as he spoke, and glanced back toward Emma and me time and again with a thoughtful look on his face while he listened to Nathan’s replies.

  I looked up toward the porch as I laughed with Emma, who was still finding hay, and noticed Benjamin's bashful smile as he realized he had been caught watching us. He turned away from us and toward Nathan, who was watching me with contented eyes. Benjamin said something, making Nathan blush before tugging at his hair and laughing, keeping his eyes on me as I picked up the bucket and turned back to the garden. When we finally reached the porch, the two of them were deep in conversation, Nathan staring at me as I approached. Benjamin turned and smiled, taking off his ball cap and nodding to me.

  "Pleasant day, Katherine. Emma."

  I nodded and smiled.

  "It's good to see you again, Benjamin," I said in greeting.

  Benjamin cleared his throat and shook his head.

  “It is good to see you well, and back with Nathan,” he said and smirked when Nathan shifted in his seat. “I am glad you are safe amongst family once more.”

  I busied myself with looking down at my hands, muddy from the garden.

  “He and I have you to thank. By helping Nathan, he was able to find me. We are most grateful,” I said and looked up to find Benjamin looking down at his own hands, wringing his old ball cap.

  “It was the least I could do. I am sorry for your hurt.”

  “That’s in the past. We have forgiven and moved on.” I smiled when he glanced up at me again, his eyes full of curiosity.

  “Benjamin took care of things while we were away,” Nathan added and squeezed his friend’s shoulder in silent thanks. “He has been coming to check on me since we arrived home, to help keep things from falling behind more than they have.”

  “Thank you for your kindness, Benjamin. I wondered how the garden seemed less dire than I feared,” I quipped, noticing Benjamin’s embarrassment at Nathan’s praise.

  "Well, I wanted to come help Nathan with his chores, but he seems to have them in hand. He made quick work of the stalls, I see," he chuckled, his eyes cutting back at me, full of mischief.

  Emma took that moment to chime in.

  "Yes, well Nathan was always rather good about getting his work done early so he could enjoy the benefits," she quipped with a laugh, Benjamin joining in.

  “I should get going,” Benjamin said after he settled down and made to stand.

  “I’m sure Nathan would love the company while we head back to prepare supper,” I suggested, seeing Nathan’s hopeful eyes regard his friend.

  Benjamin gripped his hat a little harder, offering a pained smile.

  “Probably not the best thing right now,” he murmured.

  “Fannie and Jonah have asked to invite you to supper when we saw you next,” I continued, glancing at Nathan. “Surely you wouldn’t deny Fannie a night of filling your belly.”

  “I really shouldn’t,” Benjamin said. “If the Bishop learned…”

  “It is our way of thanking you for helping us. And for helping to clear the field. Please say you will,” I said, earning a resigned sigh and then a brief nod.

  “Thank you. A good supper would be nice,” he said and avoided my eyes, his mood suddenly very melancholy.

  “We will see you soon then, Benjamin,” I said, feeling a little guilty for strong-arming him to come to supper.

  "We should head back and help Fannie with supper," Emma suggested and turned to go.

  “I will be along for supper shortly. I have some things to talk with Benjamin about,” Nathan replied quietly.

  “All right,” I said and waved as Emma pulled me toward the hill.

  Halfway up the hill I slowed and looked over at Emma, who was strangely quiet.

  “Do you think he will come to supper?” I asked.

  She shrugged.

  “I hope so. He is worried about being seen,” she explained. “I am sure he does not want to tarnish your chances to join us by spending time with you or Nathan.”

  She let out a long breath.

  “It is sad, really,” Emma continued. “Nathan and Benjamin were the best of friends. You saw how much happier Nathan was with his friend there. A man needs his brothers, and Benjamin was like a brother to Nathan, as Nathan was to Benjamin. Benjamin’s mother misses him. His sister misses him. It is not the same without him among us.”

  “Maybe Benjamin is seeing that,” I suggested, remembering the wistful look Benjamin had that one night as he watched his friend leave the Gathering. It couldn’t be coincidence that he was coming around more often.

  “Maybe,” Emma murmured and remained quiet the rest of the walk toward the house.

  Somehow I knew her simple answer wasn’t quite that simple.

  CHAPTER 3

  Emma and I chatted about vegetables and winter canning as we walked into the Berger kitchen to help with supper.

  "Beans and peas work well for the winter. But you learn to work with what you have. We always have too many canned tomatoes by late winter," Emma replied, sticking her tongue out as if in disgust.

  "I could make some tomato sauces with them," I suggested and rinsed my hands.

  Fannie walked in just as we were drying off and looked at us, surprised.

  "You are back early," she said, a little nervous.

  "The garden didn't have anything to take, but it's watered," I replied and eyed her with curiosity. “Benjamin Yoder is joining us for supper.”

  She paused in the doorway and glanced back down the hallway before motioning to the bucket of beans waiting next to the table.

  "Will you cut up these beans so we can cook them for tonight?" she asked.

  We nodded and set to work cutting, Emma glancing at her mother as she left to go toward the front of the house, glasses of tea in her hand.

  "Mother is acting strangely," she whispered. “She would normally be happy to hear that a stray was coming to dinner.”

  “A stray?”

  Emma popped the beans in half and raised her eyebrow at me.

  “You of all people should understand that we offer our home to anyone who needs a place. Benjamin is just as lost as you were that first day. Yet, she did not even seem to hear your words.”

  I frowned and glanced down the hall.

  "Maybe she's just nervous for Jonah to come back with news," I suggested.

  I knew I was nervous for that.

  What would Ezekiel say about my return?

  Would Jonah say something about Nathan wanting to marry me?

  I made myself busy in Fannie's absence, checking on the roast chicken and potatoes she had in the oven while Emma prepared the beans. It looked as if the chicken was just about finished. I checked on the other things she had laid out: fresh rolls she had baked earlier in the morning, and the tea that sat on the counter, freshly brewed from the sun.

  Everything had its place and time for preparation, so that when the men returned all would be ready. I marveled at how Fannie knew just how to make everything work out with such ease. I smiled at the thought of a much younger Fannie, just starting her home with Jonah.

  Learning what his favorite things were.

  I wondered what they were like back then.

  Were they anything like Nathan and me, happy just to be with one another, and sad when we were apart?

  They still seemed so much in love.

  Maybe they were a rarity even in the Amish community?

  I doubted the Bishop was as affectionate to his wife if he could turn his son
away so easily. I wondered what Benjamin’s mother thought of her lost son.

  I pulled my thoughts from the Yoders when I heard Fannie call for me from the front of the house. I wiped my hands on my apron and smiled at Emma as I walked out of the kitchen. Fannie was not in the front room, but voices on the porch drew me out the door, seeing Fannie there with Jonah.

  As well as Elder Ezekiel.

  I paused in the doorway, taking in Fannie's nervous glance before finding the courage to step forward.

  "Elder Ezekiel," I said in my best voice. "Pleasant day."

  He turned and smiled at me from the chair he sat in. He motioned me toward him, his eyes squinting in the afternoon sun.

  "Katherine. It is good to see you again. Jonah has told me you are back from speaking with your father," he said, his voice crackling with age.

  I swallowed and glanced at Jonah, whose face remained neutral as I nodded, only hesitating for a moment.

  "Yes, sir. I have spoken with him," I replied, unsure if perhaps Jonah had left out the circumstances of how I had returned to California.

  "Come, sit with me for a while. Fannie and Jonah have invited me to supper and I would like to learn more of your trip," he said and patted the chair beside him.

  I wiped my suddenly sweaty hands on my apron and sat beside him, my back straight.

  He glanced at Jonah and Fannie and waved his hand, effectively dismissing them.

  "Let me speak with Katherine for a moment alone. We will be fine," he said.

  I watched as Jonah and Fannie disappeared into the house, one last worried look from Fannie as the screen door closed behind her. Ezekiel's weathered hand on mine brought my eyes back to his. His smile eased the tension.

  "Do not fret, my daughter. I wanted to speak with you alone, without the pressure of your adopted parents to interfere," he said and sat back with a groan.

  "Can I get you something? More tea?" I asked, thinking of any way to flee what was sure to be a life-altering interrogation.

  He let out a crackled laugh, his eyes closing for a moment before their blue depths captured mine once more.

  "I am fine. These old bones do not sit as easily these days. But we are not here to discuss my years, we are here to discuss you," he replied.

  I nodded and held his steady gaze, trying to slow my breathing so that I appeared calm.

  "Can you tell me about your abduction?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

  I felt my breath catch and I blinked at him for a moment, unsure what to say.

  Had Jonah told him everything?

  Would my abduction prove to the Elders that I was a bad influence?

  "I understand it was frightening, daughter. To be taken from a safe haven, especially after we promised you sanctuary," he said and I could see the sadness in his eyes.

  I looked down at my hands in my lap.

  "I was afraid I would never be able to come back," I whispered.

  "How did he know you were here?" he asked. "We gave strict instructions to keep your location secret."

  I kept my head down and my voice quiet.

  "He learned about me from an English. And one of the girls in this community."

  "Which girl? And which English?"

  His voice had hardened and when I looked up into his eyes, I saw the determination in his eyes.

  "Is it right to give her up? I find myself questioning myself every time someone else is at stake," I said, unsure if telling on Joanna was right or not.

  I was second-guessing every move I made as if each one would be judged poorly.

  His hand touched mine and again, his eyes were gentle.

  "Your heart is in the right place, girl. You show much more compassion for her than she has done for you. God will decide her fate. We will decide if she should be given the opportunity to repent, as she should, or be turned away. She put you at risk. That is not the Amish way," he replied.

  I nodded and let out a long breath, detailing what I had learned from Sean about how he had gotten his information. About how Jeff had taken an interest in me when we had seen him at the party. About how Joanna had challenged me from the first time I had met her, at the Frolic. He nodded and pursed his lips, patting me once before pulling his hand away.

  "I had my suspicions of Joanna. It is no surprise she has left her home," he said and sat back in his chair, thoughtful.

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "She left shortly after you were taken. No one has seen her since. And the English boy has not been to work in the mill as well."

  I felt my breathing pick up, felt the tremble in my hands as I clutched at them. He noticed and placed his hands over my own to calm them.

  "Do not be afraid, Katherine. Jonah and I have spoken already of this. And the English law is looking for them. We are keeping a watchful eye as well. They will not be able to come here without being announced," he assured me.

  But I knew that if Sean could find me, so could Jeff.

  And Jeff’s history told me he would hardly be afraid of a bunch of Amish men with pitchforks. Jeff knew they would not raise their hands to him. Regardless of Mark’s anger, Jeff knew the Amish were more like sheep.

  "Jeff is dangerous, Elder Ezekiel. He has hurt more than just me. He has no regard for the Amish ways," I said, panicking.

  Ezekiel tilted his head to the side and his thick eyebrows knit together with concern.

  "How has he hurt others?" he asked.

  "It is not my story to tell, Elder Ezekiel. But he's not one to be easily turned away. He's a danger to the community," I said and felt my heart fall.

  They would dismiss me from their community, but not because of Sean. It would be from the fear of bringing Jeff here.

  "Please don't send me away because of this," I whispered, feeling the tears threatening to fall.

  "Why would we do that, Katherine? You are not to blame for another's actions," he chided.

  I looked up and took comfort in his doting face.

  "You aren't afraid I'll keep bringing danger here?" I asked, scared to hear the answer.

  "You have brought much joy in the short time you have been here. Fannie tells me that you work hard and find joy in your daily tasks. That is difficult to find in even the Amish-born youth these days," he confessed, and winked at me.

  He put his hat on his lap and tapped the brim of it with his fingers as he continued.

  "Jonah tells me that you dealt with your abduction with as much grace as one could, and that your conversation with your father is done. The English boy who took you is in custody and will not be seen or heard from again. And you maintained your Amish beliefs while there," he said.

  I blushed and looked down at my hands.

  "As much as I could, yes," I whispered.

  "And Nathan? He was a gentleman and respected you?" he asked.

  "Nathan is the most respectful and kind person I have ever met," I murmured, feeling my ears burning for my feelings for him.

  "Nathan has been quite troubled, since his family left him," Ezekiel sighed. "It is good to see him smile and find his faith once more. You have been his guiding angel."

  "I don't know about guiding angel," I replied, looking down at my hands in my lap.

  "I see more of God's light in you than I have seen in all my days. It is my belief that you were meant to find that light, and offer it to those who need it," he said and leaned in, his voice a little rough with emotion.

  "You are truly Ruth, come to remind us of our faith and love in God."

  "Thank you, Elder Ezekiel," I murmured, humbled by his praise.

  He patted me on my knee and clapped his hands together, forcing my eyes up in surprise.

  "Now, tell me, Katherine. How have your studies of the Way progressed?"

  I straightened up and smiled.

  "I read from the Book every night. I have learned a lot from the Bergers," I said.

  He nodded and scratched at his beard thoughtfully.

  "I must ask y
ou seriously, then. Are you set on making our way of life your own? To give up on the English diversions and embrace the plain life?"

  I laid my hand over his, looking into his eyes with all the determination and hope I could muster.

  “More than anything," I said. "This is my place. This is where I belong."

  "You will need to prepare for the baptism into our way," he said and seemed to pause, deep in thought.

  I waited until he spoke again.

  "I will speak with the Bishop and instruct him to begin classes with you. It is customary that you take those classes on Sermon days, which as you know, are every other Sunday. But that will put us into the deep winter for baptism. Perhaps he will allow for more frequent classes, perhaps every Sunday," he considered.

  I somehow doubted that.

  "How many classes are there to prepare?" I asked.

  "There are nine classes. All meant to prepare you in understanding the Ordnung and the Way. After you have completed the classes you may then make the choice to live among us. If we see then what I already see in you, then you shall be one of us by vote of the community. And then, if you wish, you may marry a good Amish man," he said, and I couldn't help notice his eyes crinkle slightly at the mention of marriage.

  For a group of people that insisted courtship be secret, it seemed everyone knew Nathan and I had feelings for one another.

  It was a little maddening.

  "Well. While we wait for supper, and for Nathan to arrive, will you read me some of your favorite passages from the Book?" he asked.

  I let out a soft breath, feeling much more at ease than when I first sat down, and slipped Nathan's mother's Bible from my pocket. I paused over it for a moment, touching the weathered cover in deep appreciation. I thought about how I could have lost it so easily when Sean had taken me.

  How I had laid it in the window that morning after reading, not wanting to get it dirty when we went to the garden. Had I taken the Book with me, it would have been lost in the corn, or worse, discarded with my clothes when Sean had stripped me of my Amish garments.

  Emma had returned it to me my first morning back, and I had never been so relieved.

  This Book was precious to me.

  It was perhaps the most treasured gift I had ever received.