Collide

by Juliana Stone

  And the way he let her.

  It was in the quick, lovely kiss Eden had planted on her mother’s forehead, the touch of fingers along a cheekbone, before she disappeared back downstairs to the basement. And the way the girl had paused at the top of the stairs, her eyes on her brother. There had been no goodbye. No talk of seeing each other again. But there had been that look.

  And that was encouraging.

  “Ah, Pia. Are families always so complicated?” The dog moaned once more and Bobbi grinned, scratching her behind her ears. Shane hadn’t spoken of his family at all on the way home, other than to comment on the fact that his father had mellowed a bit and that Eden had certainly grown up. He thought her attitude needed to be adjusted, but he said the words with a smile, and she thought that maybe he saw something of himself in his little sister.

  Moving slightly, Bobbi melted into the sofa even more, dragging Pia along with her. She’d spent every night here since their hot tub Sunday. Every. Single. Night.

  It was as if the past three or four years had never happened. As if they’d skipped all the bad shit and landed right smack in the middle of something amazing and real.

  She and Shane had made love more times than she could count. They’d watched movies together. They’d eaten in bed. They had showered together and talked until they were ready for the silence to wrap them whole. He told her about prison. About Wilson the elderly man he’d befriended and the one who’d taught him woodwork.

  He told her that as much as he’d wanted to forget about Bobbi, she had always been inside his head.

  Her heart swelled painfully. He hadn’t said those other words—those three little words that change everything—but she knew his feelings were there. They had to be. Because she was drowning in hers and she didn’t want to think about drowning alone.

  Bobbi glanced at the rug in front of the fire place. She and Shane had fallen asleep there the night before—wrapped in each other’s arms after Shane had done, naughty, naughty things—and this morning she’d woken with him deep inside her.

  He had held her from behind, tenderly stroking her back, and neck, his lips trailing kisses where his fingers had been as he slowly thrust in and out. Slow. Then fast. Teasing and dragging things out until she thought she was going to break apart. And when they came together she had felt tears in her eyes. Tears! Who the hell cries when they’re having sex? Better yet, who the hell cries when they’re having the best sex of their life?

  “Oh, God,” she groaned.

  Just thinking about their morning was nearly more than she could take. But it had been so intense and Shane had touched her in a place that only he could reach. He had touched not just her heart, but her soul. She had never felt more close to anyone, ever. Not even before when she and Shane had been together.

  She shivered and drew a blanket across her lap. She was scared because she knew they were progressing to the point of no return and while Shane’s spirit had certainly lightened—as if the path he was on was straight and true—she had become quiet and tense because she knew the truth would either be the glue that would hold them together, or it would surely break them apart. It would break them apart forever.

  “Forever,” she whispered, her fingers buried in Pia’s fur. The word on its own sounded nice, but there was also darkness to it. The other side of forever wasn’t exactly paradise.

  She would never make it through a forever without Shane in it.

  To not know his touch. Or hear his voice. To not see the dimple in the corner of his right cheek when he smiled at her, or the way he looked into her eyes just before he came as if he wanted her to see into the depths of his soul.

  She’d never been this content before, yet her fingers stalled and Pia whimpered. She’d never felt this scared before.

  “Shit,” she murmured, eyes open once again. “I’ve got to tell him everything tonight, don’t I?” Everything.

  Pia looked up with her dark eyes, wagging tail, and lunged forward, her pink tongue happily licking at Bobbi’s fingers. It was as if the little dog was trying her damnedest to give Bobbi the encouragement that she needed.

  “Okay, okay,” Bobbi murmured. “I know.”

  She heard the door open downstairs and sat up, glancing across the room. Shane was out with his Friday night men’s hockey team. Normally they’d be playing but with the league tournament next weekend there was no hockey this week. Instead they’d called a meeting, a—what had Shane called it?—a pre-tournament meeting? Her grin widened. Yeah right, a pre-tournament meeting at The Grill. She knew what that meant. Hockey might be involved but it would be whatever game was on the flat screens.

  It was just an excuse to get together with the guys, drink some beer and shoot the shit. He’d kissed her and left and the fact that she was comfortable here, on her own, in his place, said something. It said a hell of a lot.

  I want this every night.

  Steps on the stairs had her stretching her neck to see, the tension still there, but the anticipation so much stronger. He must have forgotten something?

  “Bobbi?”

  Like air whooshing out of a balloon, she collapsed back onto the sofa. It was Billie.

  Her sister appeared in the kitchen and doffed her white puffy winter coat, shucking her boots as she did so before crossing the room to stand beside the sofa. Her long hair was loose and she was dressed casually. Black yoga pants and bright blue T-shirt with ‘Drink Milk’ across her chest.

  “Hey,” Billie said breathlessly, flopping onto the rug and giggling when Pia jumped off Bobbi and into her lap.

  Bobbi sat up and stretched. “What’s up? I thought you’d be a The Grill with the rest of the guys.”

  Billie tucked her hair behind her ears and for a moment said nothing. “I was, but Shane said you were here so I came by.”

  Something was up. “Okay,” Bobbi replied. “Is everything alright with you?”

  Billie’s head shot up, her flushed cheeks deepening as she stared at her sister. “Why? Do I look like something’s wrong with me?”

  Something was definitely up, but Bobbi knew Billie well enough to know that her sister wasn’t going to spill until she wanted to. She was so different from Betty who had no problem at all saying exactly what was on her mind.

  The best way to play this was to say nothing at all. The silence would drive her bonkers.

  Bobbi slid from the sofa. “Do you want a glass of wine? Or a beer or something?”

  “No,” Billie said quickly. “I mean, I’ll have…no, I’m good.”

  Bobbi gave her sister a long look before crossing back to the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of red wine. After tossing the now empty bottle she and Shane had opened the night before into the recycling bin under the sink, she leaned against the countertop.

  “What?” Billie said eventually, after several minutes of nothing slid by them.

  Bobbi shrugged and took another sip. “You tell me.”

  Billie looked away, her long hair covering her face and for once second, fear grabbed Bobbi hard.

  “Billie, what the hell is going on? Is everything okay with, Dad?”

  Her sister nodded but didn’t raise her head and because Bobbi couldn’t see her face or her expression, her concern doubled. Something was really wrong. Were Billie’s shoulders shaking?

  “Billie, you’re scaring me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Billie replied softly, her face still averted.

  Fed up, and more than a little concerned, Bobbi pushed off from the counter. “Don’t apologize just tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Oh, Bobbi.”

  Okay, now she was scared.

  Bobbi shoved her wine glass onto the counter and ran over to her sister, who was definitely crying. Had she and Logan had a fight?

  “Hey,” she murmured, kneeling beside Billie and reaching for her. As soon as her fingers touched Billie’s shoulders, her sister turned and folded into her embrace. She cried into Bobbi’s chest, her body heaving wit
h effort as she tried to stifle her tears, but Bobbi stroked her hair and told her it was alright.

  She told Billie to cry as long and as hard as she wanted to.

  And Billie did. She cried off and on for nearly thirty minutes, clutching Bobbi like a child. Bobbi stared down at her sister and with her own emotions all over the place it was pretty damn hard to keep it together.

  Eventually the tears dried up leaving behind the shudders and the sniffles and after a good long while those went away as well. Nearly an hour passed and Bobbi let Billie go, watching her sister closely as she sat back on the carpet and hugged her knees against her chest.

  Billie’s eyes were puffy and red and the little hiccups that fell from her lips broke Bobbi’s heart.

  Shit, she thought, it must have been a doozy of a fight.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a glass of wine now?” she asked carefully, trying to gage her sister’s state of mind.

  Billie shook her head and exhaled before she looked up and met Bobbi’s eyes.

  “Trust me,” she said hoarsely as a fresh batch of tears slipped out of her eyes. “I’d love nothing more than to drink an entire bottle but…”

  “But what?”

  Billie exhaled again, paused and then spoke. “I’m late.”

  The words were so low that at first she wasn’t sure she heard correctly.

  “Billie, I’m not sure I know what you—”

  “I’m fucking late, Bobbi.” Billie sprang to her feet and started pacing in front of the fire place. “Late!” She threw her hands into the air. “Me. Late. I’m never late.” She pounded her right hand into the open palm of her other. “I’m always right on time.” She stopped pacing. “Right on fucking time, every single month.”

  Oh. Shit.

  “So you’re pregnant,” Bobbi said carefully.

  She wiped the corners of her eyes and nodded. “I think so.”

  Bobbi got to her feet and kept her face neutral. Lord knows she’d been down this road before so she knew what her sister was feeling.

  “Honey, you either know or you don’t. Just because you’re late doesn’t mean you’re pregnant.” She paused. “Aren’t you on the pill?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “Oh Billie.”

  “I might have doubled up a few days because I forgot and then I was on medication for that stupid sinus infection.” Her eyes slammed shut. “I Googled it, Bobbi. Meds can fuck with that shit.”

  “I know but that doesn’t mean...” She frowned. “Have you taken a test?”

  Billie shook her head and pointed toward the table, toward a small plastic bag. “I couldn’t do it alone.”

  “Okay, why don’t we take the test and then we can either freak out for a reason, or I’ll grab another bottle of wine and we can celebrate. Does that sound good?”

  Bobbi grabbed the bag off of the table and led the way to the only bathroom in the loft, just off of Shane’s bedroom. Billie’s sniffles followed her and dammit, if those weren’t tears pricking the corners of her eyes too. She knew how scared her sister was. The unknown was never a fun place to be, but she also knew that Logan loved Billie and that whatever the outcome, the two of them would be fine.

  She ripped open the package and handed it over to her sister. Billie held it for a few moments and then looked straight into Bobbi’s eyes.

  “Have you ever done this before?”

  For a heartbeat, Bobbi didn’t answer, her own secrets crowding her brain and clogging her throat. When she could manage, she smiled gently. “Billie, I don’t know a woman who hasn’t.”

  “Okay,” Billie said. “Let’s do this.”

  Bobbi gave her a quick hug and left the bathroom, leaning on the edge of the bed, her eyes on the door as she waited. After what seemed like a long time, Billie shuffled out and mumbled, “I’ll check it in a couple minutes.”

  Her sister sat as close to Bobbi as she could, and Bobbi threw her arms around her shoulders as the two girls stared at the bathroom door and waited.

  After about ten minutes, Bobbi nudged her sister. “Do you want me to check for you?”

  “Oh my god, could you?”

  Bobbi gave her sister one final hug and went to retrieve the pregnancy stick. Her heart was beating as rapidly as her sister’s, and when she peeked inside the bathroom, when her eyes zeroed in on the white stick—the one that clearly indicated a positive pregnancy—her throat constricted so painfully, it took a huge effort to clear it.

  Déjà vu didn’t come close to describing the emotions rolling through her. The memories. The fear. God, the overwhelming fear.

  But she dug deep and set them aside. This wasn’t about Bobbi and her screwed up past, it was about her sister. She grabbed the stick off the counter and turned around, gasping when she found Billie just behind her.

  Without saying a word she handed over the stick and watched the flickering emotions cross Billie’s face as she stared at it for several long moments.

  “Wow,” Billie said, pushing past her sister and leaning over the sink. She stared at herself in the mirror and then tossed the box along with the stick and wrappers into the waste basket underneath the sink.

  “Wow,” she said again and Bobbi stepped out of the way as Billie strode by her and sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers digging into the dark blue coverlet, her feet tapping on the floor in a nervous staccato.

  “I just never considered this.” Billie’s pale face stared up at her. “I mean, I want kids. I want Logan’s kids but now? I just started a business that requires me to teach hockey skills. How the hell can I do that if I’m pregnant?”

  “You’ll figure it out. You’ll figure it out with, Logan.” Bobbi swallowed and forced herself to say the things that needed to be said. “But Billie, you don’t have to have it. You know that right?”

  “What?” Billie said, a note of distraction in her voice. As understanding dawned, her eyes widened. “You mean an abortion?”

  Bobbi nodded. “You have a choice.”

  Billie’s hands drifted down to her stomach. “But it’s Logan’s.” A sob escaped and she whispered. “It’s Logan’s.”

  The anguish in her voice brought tears to Bobbi’s eyes and she swallowed thickly because she knew exactly what her sister was going through. And yet, something kept her from sharing the threads of her past. She just wasn’t ready to talk about any of that right now.

  Instead she sat down beside Billie, pulled her into an embrace and said nothing.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Shane caught Bobbi as she came down the stairs from his loft. He grabbed her and kissed her long and hard until she melted into him. He shoved her up against the wall of his workshop and before she had a chance to stop him, his hands were underneath her top, fingers crawling across silky soft skin, not stopping until he reached her breasts.

  He’d had her in the shower not more than an hour ago and yet, he still couldn’t get enough of her. She was like a drug and he was totally fucking addicted. Was it like this before? Had he always been this desperate for her?

  Hell the fuck yeah.

  He grinned down at her when—bingo—his fingers found her nipples. He squeezed them lightly, his thumb twirling around the hardened peak as she sucked in a breath and swelled beneath his touch. Could he ever get enough of touching her?

  He dipped his head and kissed the corner of her mouth, smiling when she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

  “Not yet,” he said, holding her hands above her head.

  “I have to go,” she said breathlessly.

  “Where?” He held her hands easily with his right, and with the other he pushed her bra up so that he could taste her more intimately. The groan he heard when he opened his mouth over her nipple had his cock twitching and his passion rising.

  “Shane.”

  Another groan. Another twitch. He was rock hard.

  “I have stuff to do at home.”

  He circled her nipple with his tongue and then b
lew on it.

  A sob and a groan.

  He was on fire.

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “Easter stuff…oh, god, Shane.”

  “Yes,” he answered cheekily.

  “Shane,” she wriggled but he didn’t let her escape. He placed his hand on her breast and rubbed gently, gazing down into eyes that would haunt him, years after he was gone from this earth. For this one moment, this one moment that belonged to just the two of them, with her breast in his hand, and his heart in hers, he knew there would never be anyone else.

  Not in any lifetime.

  Shane bent his head and captured her mouth, plunging his tongue inside and tasting every bit of her that he could. It was a kiss that was tender. A kiss that was hard. And it was a kiss that said exactly what was in his heart.

  As her lips moved beneath his he let go of her hands and they immediately sank into his hair, while his arms held her close. When he eventually dragged his mouth from hers he looked down at her. At her swollen lips. Her naked breasts. Her flushed cheeks.

  And her eyes. They were huge, glittery and…

  Shit. Were those tears?

  His hand crept upward but before he could wipe them away, her fingers were at his fly, her expression almost desperate.

  There were no words as her hands let him free. As she slowly caressed the length of him.

  There wasn’t a sound made as his hands roughly pulled her jeans down over his hips.

  Commando. Oh Christ.

  She spread her legs slightly and he grabbed one, lifting it to his hips and then he was inside her. Taking her warmth. Her wetness. Her body.

  Shane held her there, up against the wall. He made love to her. He worshipped her with his eyes, his fingers and his body. He held her jaw steady so that she couldn’t look anywhere but into his soul. God, he loved watching her when he was inside her. And when she came? When he was the one to give her that gift? The gift of release…the gift of abandonment, her eyes lit up like the fucking 4th of July.