A Life Less Ordinary

by Bernadine, Victoria

  He shrugged sheepishly at Leah’s skeptical look. “I know, I know – but at least we’d know for sure.”

  Leah placed her hand flat on his chest and smiled a little sadly at him. “If it’ll make you feel better,” she agreed. Then her smile changed, became suggestive.

  “In the meantime,” she purred seductively, sliding her leg over his, “maybe you should get some practice in for when you’re all alone again with that little cup.”

  He slid his hands sensuously down her back to cup her bottom and pull her closer against him.

  “Well, practice does make perfect,” he agreed, and Leah chuckled as she kissed him.

  * * * * *

  Day 16

  Manny and Zeke left the bed and breakfast at mid-morning to join the Victorian house walking tour that was scheduled to leave from a nearby hotel.

  The late start had given them time to see the rest of their fellow boarders off that morning, and Manny, to her surprise, had been hugged by all six of them, especially the two sight-seeing-obsessed sisters. Those two pressed their e-mail addresses on her, promised to friend her on Facebook and asked her to send them updates on her travels.

  She watched everyone leave with a mixture of relief, sadness and bemusement, and wondered if she’d have anything worth telling them if she did e-mail them updates. So far, she thought ruefully, she’d been mostly just sitting like a lump while other people did the talking and the doing.

  Like now.

  Zeke had been sidetracked by a darkly lovely young woman who’d struck up a conversation with him after he held the door for her as they all entered the hotel.

  From their body language and facial expressions, she knew they weren’t simply discussing the sights of San Francisco or the upcoming walking tour.

  You know, if you sidle over a little closer you’ll be able to hear what they’re actually saying.

  Manny slid an exasperated glance at Harvey.

  I already know what they’re talking about, she replied primly.

  Well, maybe you could learn something.

  Like what? And for what reason? So I can give men advice on how to hit on other women? Again?

  You could use those moves to hit on a man, you know.

  Oh. Yeah. Because that always ends well.

  You always did give up too easily.

  ...I’m not talking about this anymore.

  ...Fine. But sooner or later -

  Enough!

  Zeke glanced over at her and frowned. He turned back to the young woman he was talking to.

  “Give me a second?” he asked with a charming smile.

  She agreed with a smile that was equally charming.

  Now that’s a come-hither smile!

  Manny couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at a man like that. She wasn’t even sure if she’d ever looked at a man like that.

  Not even at Zeke...are you sure you’re not dead from the waist down?

  Shut. The hell. Up.

  Manny forced a smile as Zeke came to a stop beside her.

  “Listen,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder and urging her to move a few steps away from the others waiting for the tour to begin who were now milling around the lobby. She flinched slightly from his touch and was grateful when he didn’t appear to notice her reaction.

  She glanced up at him, suddenly struck by how tall and broad he really was, how darkly handsome and how expressive his – she blinked – hazel eyes, she realized, rather than brown, were. To his credit he appeared honestly torn, his eyes pleading, and she felt her smile become genuine rather than hurt or sulky.

  He’s actually rather sweet.

  Sometimes.

  “Go ahead,” she said with an airy wave of her hand before he had a chance to say anything.

  He blinked, taken aback.

  “Are you sure?” he pressed, his dark eyebrows lowered over his eyes as he frowned. For the first time she noticed how expressive his face truly was.

  “You were really excited about this tour,” he added.

  “And you almost passed out from boredom at the thought. I was worried you were going to roll your eyes right out of your head.”

  She glanced with amusement at the lovely young woman who was watching them with patient curiosity.

  “I suspect you’ll have much more fun with her.”

  Zeke’s grateful smile turned into a wicked grin.

  She forestalled whatever he was going to say with a raised hand.

  “Spare me – please!” she groaned. “Go. Have fun. I’ll see you later.”

  “Thanks, Auntie Em,” Zeke said, gently patting her shoulder.

  She shooed him off and watched him go with something that felt rather ridiculously like affection.

  Jesus, you really are, aren’t you?

  Are what?

  His Auntie Em!

  She sighed and glanced ruefully at Harvey, who was gaping at her while looking impeccably handsome in jeans, golf shirt and sneakers. He at least was willing to go on this walking tour with her.

  I know how to do that, she told him now. I’ve been Auntie Em to a lot of people; what’s one more?

  You could have at least been his sister instead.

  Don’t be ridiculous – we don’t look anything alike.

  Harvey put his hands on his hips and actually huffed in exasperation, before he shook his head in disgust and disappeared from sight.

  Manny sighed, feeling a sudden chill of loneliness wash through her. She wondered what it said about her when even her imaginary friend didn’t want to stay with her.

  ~~~~~

  Late that afternoon, Manny walked slowly back to the bed and breakfast, feeling simultaneously satisfied with the tour while still feeling that cold chill of loneliness and sadness. A part of her wondered what, exactly, she was doing – here, in San Francisco – travelling with Zeke – with her life, in general.

  This was what she’d wanted and yet – and yet – and yet she still wasn’t happy or any more social than she’d been for the last fifteen years. She still felt awkward and like a stranger in her own skin. She was still frustrated with where her life had gone and terrified about where it would go in the future. She sometimes felt as if she wasn’t living anymore, that there was nothing exciting left for her to do, or see – or feel.

  She wanted to stand on a rooftop – or, hell, here in the middle of the street – and scream at the sky at the top of her lungs about how this wasn’t how her life was supposed to be. She wanted to sob and rage and stamp her feet and demand that somebody somewhere give her...something more! Whatever that something might be.

  At the same time, she wanted to fall to her knees and sob with fear. Fear of what, exactly, she didn’t really know, or couldn’t accurately describe. Fear of everything, really, she thought ruefully, but mostly she was afraid of the very thing she so desperately wanted: life.

  She laughed bitterly to herself. She saw Harvey flicker into sight from the corner of her eye, but she ignored him. She didn’t need his voice in her head at the moment; her own was more than enough to bear.

  As she let herself into the bed and breakfast, she wondered why her plans never seemed to go the way she thought they would. She’d hoped once she left her dead-end job that she would stop feeling this way; this cold, fearful, lonely sadness she so desperately wanted to banish.

  “Ah, Rose!”

  Manny paused, then backtracked to look into the sitting room she’d just passed.

  “Leila!” she grinned and walked to where Leila sat in her wheelchair. Manny carefully took her hand and gently squeezed it in greeting. “What are you doing here?”

  “I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days,” Leila said in her smoky Lauren Bacall voice, “and I thought I’d arrive a little earlier and see how you and that charming Zeke are getting along.”

  Manny chuckled slightly. “We’re getting along just fine,” she said, perching on the loveseat and leaning forward, her elbows on her
knees, her eyes intent on Leila’s face.

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Leila reached over and tapped Manny gently on the back of her hand. “Now tell me everything you’ve been doing.”

  Manny tried to give her the short version, but Leila would have none of it. She asked questions about each tour, probing into everyone Manny had met and their conversations, and what she had felt or thought about the people and sights and sounds and scents. Manny found herself remembering things about the last few days she hadn’t even realized had impressed her at the time.

  Finally Leila sat back with a sigh and a smile.

  “Thank you, Rose. I can’t get out as much anymore, so thank you for humoring an old woman with her endless questions.”

  “I enjoyed it,” Manny said rather shyly, “I hope I didn’t bore you.”

  “Not at all,” Leila said as she cocked her head to one side and observed her closely. “And yet...you don’t seem happy.”

  Manny blinked at her in surprise.

  “I – I’m fine,” she protested half-heartedly, flushing with embarrassment.

  “Are you upset Zeke went off with this – what was the girl’s name?”

  “I’m not sure, actually. It starts with an L, I think. And no, I’m not upset about it.”

  “But you look like a woman with something on her mind. Is it another man?”

  Manny laughed, “No.”

  “Ah. A woman, then?”

  Manny laughed again, even harder. “No woman either,” she said.

  “But there’s something weighing on you,” Leila said shrewdly.

  Manny huffed and sat back on the loveseat.

  “Too much,” she sighed, “and none of it’s of any importance. It’s not like I have any problems – not real ones, anyway.” She shook her head with a grimace. “It’s stupid.”

  “What’s stupid?” Leila persisted gently.

  “A mid-life crisis. Just...feeling like life has passed me by.” She looked half-pleadingly at Leila although she didn’t know what she really wanted from the older woman.

  Leila smiled. “What do you think I can tell you?”

  Manny hesitated, biting her lip as she stared off into space.

  “Tell me it’s not over,” she finally blurted, meeting Leila’s patient gaze.

  “What’s not over?”

  “Anything. Everything. Passion – passion to learn and do and know. Life. That there are still things to do and think – that I can still make changes – still make a difference in this world – still matter. Tell me – tell me -” to her shame, hot, stinging tears suddenly filled her eyes. “Tell me I’ll – I’ll - I’ll feel something again.”

  Leila tutted soothingly and opened her arms. Manny slid from the loveseat to kneel beside the wheelchair and lean into the offered hug. To her horror, she burst into tears against Leila’s shoulder.

  “I’d say you’ve already answered your own question,” Leila said and she gently rubbed Manny’s back until the tears stopped as suddenly as they’d begun.

  Manny leaned back and frowned, sniffling, her nose running, her eyes sore and gritty.

  Leila smiled gently at her. “You’re feeling something now, aren’t you? Your tears are a form of passion, too, you know. You were angry, weren’t you, when you didn’t get that promotion. And you were afraid – horrified – and that’s why you quit your job. All of those are emotions. I’d say you still feel things.”

  “But those are all negative!”

  “But you still feel them – and feel them deeply. If you can feel the negative emotions, then you can also feel the positive.”

  She smiled a suddenly wicked smile, and gently tapped the back of Manny’s hand where it rested on the arm of Leila’s wheelchair.

  “No, it’s not over – not if you don’t want it to be.” She leaned closer. “You know, I married my fourth husband just last month.”

  Manny stared. “Really?” she breathed.

  Leila nodded. She gestured towards her purse on the coffee table and Manny retrieved it for her. Leila opened her wallet and took out a picture of her standing with a distinguished older man in a traditional post-wedding pose.

  “James. He’s currently away on a business trip,” Leila explained and she sounded much younger than her eighty-plus years. She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “A much younger man – only sixty. I feel like I’ve robbed the cradle. That’s why my son isn’t talking to me at the moment – although he did attend the wedding.”

  Manny blinked in stunned silence as she looked from the picture to Leila’s sparkling grin, and began to laugh.

  ~~~~~

  Zeke opened the front gate as quietly as he could, wincing slightly as it creaked. It was late, after midnight, and he wondered if Manny was going to take him to task for deserting her not only for the day, but for the night as well. As he carefully closed the gate and soft-footed it up the walk, he decided the day and night had been worth it, even if Manny pulled out her most severe disapproving maiden aunt look – a look she’d already levelled on him several times, and which had been the topic of his last blog.

  Yes, he mused, Luciana was a beautiful and charming young woman, and even though she’d been somewhat disconcerted by his refusal to go back to her place, she’d seemed to enjoy their time together as much as he had. Definitely worth suffering through that look.

  TJ and Leah would never believe him if he told them there’d been no sex, though. Hell, he could barely believe it himself. He shook his head. Maybe Manny’s prudish ways were starting to rub off on him. He shuddered at the thought even as he filed it away to pull out for a future blog.

  Zeke winced again as the doorknob rattled under his hand and he ruefully realized he hadn’t been this worried about sneaking into the house since he was sixteen and trying to slip past his dad’s far-too-sharp ears.

  His efforts were wasted; he was hit with what felt like a wall of noise the moment he cracked the door open.

  He quickly entered the house and shut the door behind him, his eyebrows lowered dangerously over his eyes. There was a mix of loud music and voices, and even louder laughter exploding from the living room located at the back of the house, and he knew there was no way in hell Manny was sleeping through this racket. He shuddered at the realization that this would only make her prudish maiden aunt face all that more severe in the morning.

  He walked into the room with a questioning frown that quickly turned into stunned surprise as he took in the scene in front of him.

  Leila was holding court at the head of the table with her three grandchildren, three unknown people who Zeke assumed were her grandchildren’s significant others – and Manny, sitting between Leila’s two grandsons. Everyone was talking and laughing as they played cards, with the stereo blasting an old rock song. As Zeke watched, a concerted howl of protest went up as Leila laid down her cards with a falsely innocent smile, obviously winning the hand.

  In the hubbub of people calculating their scores and calling out the results to the scorekeeper, Leila glanced at the doorway and grinned.

  “Zeke!” she called in welcome, clearly delighted. “Come in! Help yourself to a drink and if you’re hungry, there’s some food over on the sideboard. I’m afraid we’re in the middle of a game, but you can join the next one.”

  Zeke wasn’t sure how to react to the general chaos and he gave Leila a slightly stunned nod at her words.

  “Sounds like fun,” he said uncertainly and walked over to the sideboard to check out the food. He poured himself a drink, filled a plate with snacks and turned his attention back to the raucous group sitting at the table who were joking and laughing as the next hand was dealt.

  “I gotta warn you, Zeke – she’s a real shark,” Manny laughed, picking up her cards, “she hasn’t lost a game yet!”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied, bemused, and settled in to watch the rest of the game.

  ~~~~~

  As midnight changed into the early hours of the mo
rning, Zeke covertly observed Manny from his position beside Leila and thought this was the most relaxed he’d ever seen her, even though her hair was still in that damn bun. He watched her from beneath his lowered dark brows and wondered what it was about this particular group of people that was bringing out this side of her and whether he could pinpoint it enough to write about it in his blog.

  As the final game of the night wrapped up and people began to rise from the table and prepare to leave, Zeke leaned back in his chair and watched as Manny stood to say good-bye to Leila’s family.

  Leila gently tapped the back of his hand and he started, glancing at her quizzically.

  “She’ll be all right,” she said softly.

  Zeke frowned. “I’m sure she will be,” he replied slowly.

  Leila simply tapped the back of his hand again and sat back with knowing eyes and an enigmatic smile.

  Episode 3

  Day 24

  Manny shifted in the passenger seat, trying to find a comfortable spot. It felt like they’d been driving forever, which felt even longer since Zeke was once more behind the wheel, driving silently and looking thunderous.

  With those eyebrows, not hard to do.

  Manny bit back a grin at Harvey’s words. He was sitting beside her dressed in jeans and wearing a t-shirt that clung to his well-muscled chest and emphasized his arms.

  Jealous? she teased.

  Well, you have to admit they have a personality all their own.

  True. Would you like me to give you similar ones?

  She imagined him with Zeke’s thick, arched eyebrows and they both winced.

  Doesn’t work.

  Not even close.

  She glanced at Zeke who was glowering at the road in front of him. He’d refused to so much as glance at her ever since they’d pulled out the next destination from the bag, and discovered they needed to retrace almost the entire route they’d taken a week earlier. To say he was displeased was like saying Death Valley got a little warm during the summer.

  “All right,” Manny sighed breaking the heavy silence, “you win.”