A Life Less Ordinary

by Bernadine, Victoria

  “Coffee?”

  Rebecca glanced up, smiled and nodded.

  The woman stared, her eyes widening before she said, loudly, “Rebecca? Rebecca Hayworth?”

  The sudden silence in the cafe was deafening and Rebecca suddenly found herself the focus of everyone’s attention. She flushed, remembering her behaviour immediately after Jaime was born, her notoriety, her carelessness with her own reputation and – yes, her own body. It was very possible, she thought, shame burning every inch of her, that she’d slept with at least one of the men in this cafe. She’d slept with a lot of men in town before the Mankowskis had given her the wake-up call she’d needed.

  She bit her lip then pasted on a resolute smile and said clearly, “Yes. I’m sorry – you are...?” she trailed off delicately.

  The waitress grinned, her plain, plump face transforming into something remarkably pretty. “I’m Heather. Heather Padloski. I don’t expect you to remember -”

  Rebecca gasped, jumped to her feet and hugged Heather. “Heather! Of course, I remember! You look great!”

  And she did. Heather had been even more shy than Rebecca, grossly overweight and slow-moving, picked on unmercifully by their schoolmates, often to the point of tears. She’d sometimes shared Rebecca, Daisy and Manny’s table in the cafeteria, where she huddled in on herself as she ate unbelievable mountains of food silently and as rapidly as a starving puppy. Heather had kept her head and eyes down and never, ever spoke at the table unless spoken to, and even then she replied in mumbled monosyllables. Rebecca remembered she always looked like a startled rabbit when they spoke to her outside the cafeteria, or outside of school.

  Now she was smiling and open as she hugged Rebecca back and giggled.

  “How could I not look great – considering the shape I was in the last time you saw me!” she said cheerfully. “Listen, I’m alone here right now so I can’t stop for long. Are you staying in town or are you just passing through?”

  “I’m...going to be here for a couple of days, I think,” Rebecca said carefully.

  “Then how about supper tonight? If you don’t have any other plans, that is. You can meet my family and we can get caught up. You look fantastic!”

  Rebecca hesitated then smiled and nodded. “I’d love that.”

  ~~~~~

  That evening, Rebecca followed Heather out onto the back deck, a cup of coffee in her hand. They settled into the patio furniture, and Rebecca admired the yard that was screened from prying eyes with lush plants, mostly fruit trees and bushes.

  Rebecca sighed with satisfaction. “Amazing meal,” she said.

  Heather grinned. “Thank Willis. He made it.”

  “There are definite advantages to having a husband who’s a professionally trained chef,” Rebecca said approvingly.

  “And a nutritionist,” Heather agreed, “although there are days I would absolutely kill for an hour alone with an assortment of cakes and cookies made the old-fashioned way. You know, three pounds of butter and four pounds of sugar.”

  Rebecca laughed and nodded. They sipped their coffee in silence for a moment, then Heather said, “You’re here for Jaime, aren’t you?”

  Rebecca coughed a little on her own sip of coffee and looked ruefully at Heather as she caught her breath. “I’d forgotten what a small town is like,” she muttered.

  Heather grinned and shrugged. “It’s also just basic deduction. Jaime showed up, looking for Devon and now here you are, looking...well. Stressed.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “It’s...complicated.”

  Heather raised a hand. “I know – I know. You don’t really know me, not even when we went to school together, let alone after thirty years! I don’t mean to pry, but you looked pretty scared when you walked in today. And, well, Jaime hasn’t exactly been...ummm...kind when she talks about you.”

  Rebecca grimaced. “Why does that not surprise me?”

  “I don’t mean to speak badly about your daughter, but she comes across as, well...complaining about nothing, actually. Her life hasn’t been that difficult, as far as I can tell.”

  “Depends on your definition of difficult, I suppose,” Rebecca shrugged. She hesitated, then said, “Is Devon in town?”

  “As far as I know.” Heather gave her a comforting smile. “He’s changed a lot. I think you’ll be surprised.”

  Rebecca raised an eyebrow. “I’m not here to see Devon,” she said coolly. “It’s not like we have anything to say to each other.”

  “No? I’d think you’d have lots to say to each other.” Heather took a sip of coffee in the sudden, tense silence, then said, “But enough of that. Tell me about Daisy and Manny.”

  Rebecca gratefully began to tell Heather about Daisy and Manny.

  * * * * *

  Day 137

  Rebecca was back in the cafe for breakfast, sitting at the same table as the day before. She sipped her coffee as the morning waitress cleared away her half-eaten breakfast and pondered what she was going to say to Jaime.

  “Rebecca? Is that you?”

  Rebecca glanced up at the man standing by her table and froze, her eyes wide, her mouth dry. All she could do was nod wordlessly.

  The man stared back, his own eyes huge in his face. They stared silently at each other, the woman beside him looking curiously and a little resentfully at Rebecca, until he finally gestured helplessly and said, “May I join you?”

  She nodded numbly and watched silently as he murmured to the woman then slipped into the chair across the table from Rebecca. The woman shot her an angry look but said nothing as she took a seat at a distant table.

  Rebecca stared at the man across the table. She searched his features, seeing how the shape of his eyes was the same as Jaime’s, as was the line of his jaw, the tilt of his nose. She searched for the boy she remembered, the boy she’d once so desperately loved with every ounce of her being.

  Until he deserted her, that is.

  He was older – of course. Who wasn’t, after thirty years, she thought dimly. He was a little softer, but he’d kept himself in good shape over the years. He still had bottomless brown eyes and cheekbones models would kill for, and as he smiled at the waitress, Rebecca saw he still had the same old sexy smile, albeit a little forced at the moment.

  He gave the order – a fresh coffee for him and a refill for her – and then they sat in awkward silence.

  Devon was the first to speak.

  “You – uh – you look...great.”

  “Thank you,” she managed. She didn’t smile.

  “I didn’t know you were in town,” Devon continued cautiously. “I – Jaime said you’d never come here.”

  “My daughter doesn’t know me very well,” Rebecca replied, a slight emphasis on the “my”.

  Devon placed his palms flat on the table and met her eyes.

  “I’m...glad I ran into you. I’d hoped you’d come back. I’d even thought of calling you. Asking you to meet with me.”

  “Why?” Rebecca asked, a puzzled frown on her face.

  “I wanted to see you and...apologize.”

  Rebecca blinked.

  “I know what I did was...well, it was unforgivable. And I deserve whatever you want to throw at me. I thought – well, since I met Jaime, I thought you deserve the chance to say everything you’ve ever wanted to say to me. I am sorry, Rebecca. I really am. If I could change the past, I would.”

  Rebecca simply stared impassively when he finished speaking. He began to fidget under her steady, unblinking gaze.

  “You know,” she said slowly, “even five years ago I would have taken you up on that offer. Your ears would have exploded with all the vitriol and anger I had stored up inside of me.”

  “And now?”

  Rebecca’s shoulders moved in an almost imperceptible shrug. “And now I couldn’t care less. It was a long time ago, and I survived. Jaime survived. In fact, we thrived.”

  “I tried to find you, you know. About two, three years after the Mankowskis died.”<
br />
  She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

  “I...didn’t really try that hard,” he admitted sheepishly. “I was already drinking pretty hard by then and -” he shook his head. “You and Jaime were better off without me. Trust me. You really were.”

  Rebecca’s face creased with a slight frown. “Drinking?” she asked.

  “Jaime hasn’t told you yet?” Devon grimaced ruefully. “I’m an alcoholic. I’ve been sober now for almost four years but I had to hit a pretty awful rock bottom before I finally decided I didn’t want to live like that anymore.” He glanced over his shoulder at the woman sitting at the distant table. “I put my wife through hell. My kids, too.” He shook his head as he turned his attention back to Rebecca. “You and Jaime really were better off without me.”

  Rebecca cocked her head to one side as she considered him. “I didn’t think so at the time,” she said drily.

  Devon grimaced again. “I’m sorry, Rebecca. Really, truly sorry. I was so irresponsible, and such...”

  “An asshole?”

  He barked a sudden laugh. “Jaime said you don’t pull any punches.”

  “I had to learn to stand up for myself,” she said quietly, “especially after the Mankowskis died.”

  “I know. I’m glad you ended up being stronger than you seemed when you were a kid.”

  Now it was Rebecca’s turn to give a short bark of laughter. “You and me both,” she said. She considered him carefully. “Was that the only reason you wanted to see me?” she asked.

  “I wanted to apologize. Face-to-face. Yes.”

  “Especially since Jaime’s found you now, and wants you to be an active part of her life. Right?”

  Devon slumped back in his chair. “I deserve your suspicion. I’m not going to bother pretending I have a hope in hell of ever making up for the last thirty years. I don’t expect us to ever be friends or to be an actual part of each other’s lives. But I would like us to be civil.”

  “Jaime’s thirty years old. It’s not like you have to pick her up from my house every other weekend. So yes, Devon, I think I can manage to be civil for those few odd occasions when our paths will cross.”

  “Well, they’re going to cross more often now – this is a small town after all.”

  Rebecca frowned. “I’m sorry?”

  He closed his eyes and swore. “I’m sorry, Rebecca – Jaime asked me not to tell you; she wanted to do it herself.” He opened his eyes. “She’s moving here.”

  ~~~~~

  Rebecca stood when Jaime walked into the motel lobby. Their eyes met and Rebecca was pleased to see a flash of guilt in Jaime’s eyes before the usual disdain descended once more. She stopped walking and tightly crossed her arms as Rebecca walked over to her.

  “What are you doing here?” Jaime snapped.

  “I’ve come to tell you it’s time to come home.”

  Jaime snorted. “What? Is Tris too much trouble? Is she interfering too much with your lifestyle?”

  Rebecca glanced around the small lobby that was thankfully deserted except for the woman at the front desk, watching with avid interest. Rebecca gave her a small, brittle smile then turned back to Jaime and said through gritted teeth, “Do you really want to do this here?”

  Jaime made a show of looking around the lobby. She nodded at the woman behind the counter.

  “Why not? Grace is a friend of mine.”

  Rebecca turned to look again at the woman in question. Grace quickly dropped her eyes and made herself busy on the computer, turning half away from the other two women.

  “All right,” Rebecca said as she turned back to Jaime, “if that’s the way you want it.”

  “I do.”

  “All right,” Rebecca said again. “You’ve been here for over four months, heading towards five, doing...whatever it is you’re doing here.”

  “I’m getting to know my father and my family with him,” Jaime said coldly.

  “Without including your own daughter in that equation.”

  “This isn’t about Tris. This is about me and my father.”

  “And I’m here to talk about Tris and her mother. She needs you. She wants to be with you. If you don’t want to come home, then I’ll bring Tris to you.”

  Jaime snorted and looked towards Grace as she loudly said, “Sure. You just don’t want the responsibility of looking after your granddaughter. What a wonderful grandmother you are, mother.”

  Rebecca gritted her teeth and said just as clearly and loudly, “I’ve paid my dues, Jaime! I was a mother at seventeen, and I did my best. I worked long and hard to give you a stable, safe childhood. I love you – you’re my daughter – but you’re not my life. Not anymore. And I love Tris – but she’s my granddaughter. Your daughter. She needs to be with you. And I need to be a grandmother.”

  Jaime snorted. “No, you don’t. You just want to be with Jackson.”

  Rebecca heart ached at the mention of Jackson, but all she said was, “You’re not a child anymore. You’re a mother yourself. It’s time to act like one again.”

  “A good mother would do this for her daughter!” Jaime shot back.

  Rebecca took an iron grip on her slipping self-control. Through tightly gritted teeth, she said, “This has nothing to do with me and whether I’m a good mother or a good grandmother. This has everything to do with a little ten-year-old girl who’s asking why her mother isn’t coming home!”

  “She’s never asked me to come home!” Jaime angrily protested.

  “No, because she doesn’t want to hear you say you don’t want her! So she asks me instead, and I have no answers for her! I don’t understand what you’re doing – or why! If you don’t want to come home, then at least have Tris with you!”

  “Oh, sure! Two of us staying in one room here?” Jaime expressively indicated the motel lobby and by implication the small rooms for rent.

  “For God’s sake, Jaime!” Rebecca burst out. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I’m experiencing the family you denied me!”

  “Are you insane? They denied you! I raised you! I gave you everything you ever wanted! And this is the result? How the hell -!” Rebecca stopped abruptly and stared at the alien creature standing in front of her. It was obvious her words were falling on deaf ears.

  She straightened her shoulders.

  “I’ve come to tell you to take your daughter back – or else.”

  Jaime snorted a laugh. “Or else what?” she sneered.

  “Or else I’ll be filing for custody. That girl needs somebody who’s there for her. Blake’s still off in some monastery or something and you’re here, living in some kind of fantasy world that I made your childhood a living hell because you grew up without knowing your father.”

  Jaime snorted skeptically. “You don’t want Tris either.”

  Rebecca’s eyes widened then narrowed at what Jaime had just admitted. She stared coldly, then turned her back to gather up her coat and purse.

  “You have two weeks to return home or to ask me to bring Tris to you,” she said, facing Jaime again. Her voice was deadly quiet and even more deadly cold. “If you haven’t done either of those things, I’ll be filing for custody. You can continue spending your time here, weaving your delusional fantasy world, or you can come home and focus on what’s real, which is your daughter. The choice is yours.”

  Rebecca walked towards the front door on shaking legs. She turned around at Jaime’s harsh laugh.

  “You’re bluffing,” Jaime sneered.

  Rebecca smiled tightly. “I guess we’ll see, won’t we.”

  She turned towards the door then paused.

  “Oh, by the way - I had coffee with your father this morning.”

  For the first time in years, she’d finally taken Jaime completely off-guard.

  “It was very enlightening, particularly when it came to your future plans,” Rebecca continued. “He was very surprised – and touched – to hear he’s a grandfather. I learned you haven’t exact
ly been a hit with your half-siblings. Or your stepmother.” She levelled a steady look at her. “A fantasy world is all well and good, but it’s hard to maintain when you’re the only one living in it.”

  * * * * *

  Day 138

  “Wow,” Manny breathed, stunned by everything Rebecca had told her. “How did she react?”

  “About as well as can be expected,” Rebecca sighed.

  “You know, maybe it’s time you guys got professional help. Family counselling, or something.”

  “I’m way ahead of you, at least when it comes to me and Tris. We’re going for our first session the day after I get home, and we’re both going to have private sessions as well.”

  “How’s she dealing with all of this?”

  Rebecca laughed bitterly. “About as well as can be expected,” she said again. “She doesn’t believe I’m going to fight for custody any more than her mother does. I’ve also tracked down Blake. He’s still holed up in a monastery in France and...I’m not sure what’s happening with him, but he says he’s in no shape to take full responsibility for his daughter, and he’s definitely not ready to come home. He’s promised not to fight me for custody.”

  “What the hell?” Manny sputtered.

  “He dropped some hints that he’s dealing with more than a crisis of faith. There’s something very deeply wrong going on with him.”

  “Shit. That’s awful.”

  “Yeah – poor guy. He said he’s finding his way back – but slowly. I just asked him to keep in touch with Tris much more than he has been, and he agreed to do that. Tris talked to him for a couple of hours yesterday.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “Me, too. As for Blake’s parents, I finally tracked them down as well. They’re in the Philippines.”

  “Yeah? And?”

  “Well, they’re sailing around the world, and weren’t exactly enthusiastic about coming back to take care of Tris or in taking her with them and all that would entail. Home schooling, that sort of thing,” Rebecca finished vaguely.