A Life Less Ordinary

by Bernadine, Victoria

  “Jesus. That poor kid!”

  “I know. Worst of all, this means she’s now stuck with me, the grandmother she doesn’t like all that much.”

  “That hasn’t gotten better?”

  “A little. I guess. But I’ll never be her most favorite person in the whole world.”

  “She’s only ten. Who knows how she’ll feel by the time she’s twenty?”

  Rebecca frowned. “Why twenty?”

  “Teenagers don’t like anybody.”

  Rebecca sputtered a laugh. “Unless you’re Daisy’s kids.”

  “True.” Manny paused. “So what now?”

  “Now I wait,” Rebecca sighed. “My lawyer’s ready to file the papers as soon as I give her the word.” She sighed again. “Am I doing the right thing, Manny?”

  “What do you think?” Manny replied.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know! The last few months I’ve been focused on Jaime and her problems and actions, and I’ve been blaming myself for all of it – wondering – and terrified I’m screwing Tris up as much as I obviously screwed up her mother. But in spite of how obviously bad I am at raising children, I keep thinking...that...I – I think I made another huge mistake, and one that, no matter what I said at the time, had absolutely nothing to do with Jaime or Tris, and everything to do with my own fear that he’d leave me first.”

  “Jackson?” Manny asked sympathetically.

  “Yes! I can’t – I can’t even -” Tears sprang to Rebecca’s eyes, her voice thick with emotion. “I think my heart is literally breaking. I’ve never felt like this before. I...if I think about it too much, it...Christ, it hurts, and it’s like I need a moment to get back on my feet.”

  “Wow,” Manny breathed, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that about any man before. Not even Devon.”

  Rebecca sniffed as she brushed her tears away. “Even losing Devon didn’t feel like this! Don’t get me wrong, Manny, I can live without Jackson – I just can’t, for the life of me, remember why I’d want to.”

  * * * * *

  Day 140

  “Hey,” TJ said as Leah walked into the hospital room.

  She grinned as she dropped a light kiss on his lips. “Hey,” she said, “I haven’t missed the doctor, have I?”

  TJ shook his head just as the door opened again and Dr. Valesquez bustled in. Leah settled beside TJ and laced her fingers through his.

  Dr. Valesquez smiled and said, “I believe we’ve finally got the infections under control.”

  “Believe?” TJ asked sharply, raising an eyebrow.

  “You don’t know for sure?” Leah added with a frown.

  “Your lungs are much clearer, but the infections are lingering longer than we expected. When we send you home, you’ll have to make sure you continue taking your medication properly otherwise you could get sick again, and perhaps even worse than before.”

  “Great,” TJ groaned.

  “That’s the infection,” Leah said firmly. “Infections, actually. What about the cancer?”

  “Good news on that front. Based on the tests we did yesterday, we appear to have caught the tumor early enough. At this point, it appears you won’t even need chemo. We’ll do another round of tests in six weeks, and if that’s still clear, we’ll go to every six months.”

  TJ groaned.

  Leah patted his hand. “That’s better than having the tests every month.”

  “No, no,” TJ protested, “I think I’m beginning to like them.”

  Leah and Dr. Valesquez laughed.

  Dr. Valesquez said, “I’d like to keep you here for another day and then send you home.”

  “With that cute, blonde nurse?” TJ asked hopefully.

  Leah rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

  “Hey – I’m a sick man, here!” TJ protested. “Besides, you’ll like him.”

  Leah burst out laughing. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she said, and dropped another light kiss onto his lips.

  Dr. Valesquez watched with a beneficent smile, and said, “You’re very lucky, TJ. Both with the cancer and the lung infection. Another day, and you wouldn’t have made it, you know.”

  “I know,” TJ said solemnly, his fingers squeezing Leah’s. “I won’t take that risk again.”

  “Good.” The doctor stood. “No offense, TJ, but I sincerely hope I don’t see you very often after you leave the hospital tomorrow.”

  TJ grinned. “None taken, and trust me – the feeling is entirely mutual.”

  Dr. Valesquez grinned, shook TJ’s hand then Leah’s and left them alone.

  Leah and TJ shifted until she was lying down on the bed beside him. He was no longer on intravenous although the needle to allow the nurses to take blood samples was still embedded in the back of his hand. Leah and TJ carefully adjusted until they were snuggled comfortably on the bed.

  “I’m so glad you’re getting better,” Leah said softly, burying her face into his neck.

  “Me, too,” TJ sighed. He rubbed her back, and Leah finally allowed herself to cry.

  * * * * *

  Day 141

  Daisy opened the door for Hub and gave him a slight smile. “The kids are running a little late,” she said. “They were out with Tris and lost track of the time. They’ll be here in about half an hour.”

  “That’s okay, I wanted to talk to you, anyway,” he said as they walked into the living room and sat down.

  “Okay,” Daisy said, “what about?”

  “Have you made up your mind about what we talked about a couple weeks ago?”

  Daisy frowned. “Anything in particular? We’ve talked about a lot of stuff since your ex-girlfriend took off with all our hard-earned cash,” she said drily.

  Hub scowled. “You know what I’m talking about. Stopping this divorce. Getting back together. Trying again. Come on, Daisy. What do you say?”

  Daisy considered him thoughtfully. “I don’t get it,” she finally said. “Why are you pushing so hard to get back together?”

  “You’re my wife!”

  “You should have thought of that before you got yourself a mistress! Come on, Hub. What’s the real reason?”

  Hub deflated. “You’re...familiar,” he muttered. “Comfortable. I know the battles, I know the foibles. I know how you think, what buttons to push, what turns you on.” He looked soulfully at her. “I miss you.”

  Daisy tried to push aside the red tide of rage that rose up at his words.

  “We’ve been together for twenty-four years,” Hub continued persuasively, “you can’t just want to throw all that away.”

  “Why not? You did.”

  “Daisy -”

  “Do you know you’ve never once apologized to me? You’ve never once said you were sorry you betrayed me, or sorry you hurt your kids, or sorry you threw our marriage away. I may be ‘comfortable’ and ‘familiar’ but I’m not an old pair of shoes! I’m not a favourite pair of jeans you haul out every now and then to remember the days you were skinny! Twenty-four years -” Daisy’s voice broke, “twenty-four years, and starting over scares me. Terrifies me! But taking you back after everything that’s happened? Not a chance in hell.”

  ~~~~~

  “And then what happened?” Manny asked.

  “Nothing. He sat there in silence until the kids arrived, then they all left.”

  “Are you okay with this?”

  Daisy paused, thinking. “Yeah,” she said softly. Firmly. “Yeah, I’m really okay with this.”

  * * * * *

  Day 143

  Rebecca tightly gripped the steering wheel and stared at the house. The lights burned cheerfully in the windows, making the place look warm and inviting. Rebecca wondered if she’d find the warm welcome those lights promised. She felt the sweat break out on her palms.

  For a moment she thought of driving away, pretending she’d never been here, pretending the Jackson-shaped place in her life wasn’t there, and wasn’t aching from his absence. She st
raightened her spine and took a deep breath.

  She wasn’t a coward, she told herself stoutly, and she could survive without him. If he told her to go, she’d go.

  But she had to try.

  She took another deep breath, then abruptly left the car and walked briskly to the door. She rang the doorbell, and rubbed her palms nervously on her jacket as she waited for the door to open, which it was by a girl a couple of years older than Tris.

  Rebecca blinked. “Uh, hi. You must be Dayle.”

  Dayle frowned slightly. “Yeah. Who are you?”

  “I’m...a friend of your father’s.”

  To Rebecca’s shock, Dayle’s face lit up in recognition and a huge grin spread across her face before she turned her head and yelled at the top of her lungs, “Dad! Rebecca’s here!” She turned back to a stunned Rebecca. “Come in!” she said and stood aside to give Rebecca room to step into the foyer.

  Rebecca hesitated, wondering how Dayle had known who she was. She opened her mouth to ask just as Jackson ran into the foyer, skidding to a halt at the sight of her. His dark brown eyes were huge as he simply stared while a boy about Tris’ age and a lovely, dark-haired woman came rushing into the foyer behind him.

  Rebecca flushed painfully as she stared at the dark-haired woman. “Oh! You have guests – I should have called first – I’m sorry – I’ll just -”

  The woman stepped forward and cut Rebecca off in mid-babble. “I’m Jasmine. Jackson’s sister?”

  Rebecca actually staggered a little with relief. “Oh! Oh. Oh...well...nice to meet you.”

  Jasmine grinned with delight. “Come in, Rebecca. No need to stand on the doorstep.”

  Rebecca hesitantly stepped into the house, once more rubbing her hands nervously against her jacket. She glanced at Jackson, then quickly away, the hunger and burning hope in his eyes causing her to shift uncomfortably.

  Jasmine spoke into the tense silence, “You’ve met Dayle. This is Ryder.”

  Ryder was a miniature Jackson, with the same vulnerable brown eyes and thick, unruly black hair. He smiled almost shyly at her, and Rebecca’s heart clenched because it was Jackson’s smile, in miniature.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hello,” Rebecca said faintly.

  “And now, kids, let’s leave them alone for a while,” Jasmine said firmly, and quelled Dayle’s protest with a single look. Dayle’s shoulders slumped as she nodded and followed her aunt and brother out of the foyer, although both kids watched over their shoulders until they were in the next room.

  Rebecca stared around the foyer, fiddled with the edges of her coat, and looked anywhere but directly at Jackson, who was staring fixedly and silently at her.

  She fidgeted uncomfortably once more, then glanced at him from the corner of her eyes and said, “Aren’t you wondering why I’m here?”

  “Yeah,” he said softly.

  “So why aren’t you saying anything?”

  Jackson moved towards her. “Because I’m still trying to get my breath back,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her.

  * * * * *

  Day 144

  “Awww...” Manny said as Rebecca described Jackson kissing her in the foyer.

  “And then,” Rebecca continued happily, “I had supper with him and the kids and Jasmine – her ex had her kids – and we watched a movie, and then I went home. I’m going to introduce him to Tris tonight.”

  “That’s awesome, Rebecca! I’m so happy for you!”

  “I’ve never introduced a man to my grandchild before. Hell, I never even introduced one to my child! How did this happen to me?” Rebecca groaned.

  Manny laughed. “Just lucky, I guess. And I’ve met Jackson, remember? Did you really think you had a chance of resisting him?”

  “Better than even!”

  “Oh, he had no chance of resisting you, of course! Seriously, Rebecca – I’m...I’m so happy for you.”

  “Almost forty-eight years old, and I’m in love – who’da thunk it?”

  “According to Angeline, you can fall in love at any age. And Leila says the same thing. And Simon-Simone says there’s someone out there for each of us, if we’re willing to take the chance and if we remain true to ourselves in the process.”

  “When did Simon-Simone say that?”

  “She sent me an e-mail the other day. She’s in love and wants everyone else to be, too.”

  “Ah. Anyway, Jackson and I are going to take it slow. Dayle and Ryder have known about me for a long time – but knowing about me and potentially living with me are two different things.”

  “Or you guys may choose to not live together until they’re out of school. High school, I mean.”

  “That would be a long time...” Rebecca sighed.

  “Okay. Stupid idea.”

  “Not stupid. It is something to consider. But no matter what else happens, I think we’ll figure something out.”

  Manny laughed, “Somehow, I think so too.”

  Episode 13

  Day 164

  Manny lay flat on her back, eyes wide, staring at the ceiling while she waited for her clock to hit 7:00 a.m. It was her last day on the road. They’d be home tonight and she’d be sleeping in her new apartment that Rebecca had leased for her. Tomorrow morning, there’d be no place to go next, no tourist site to visit, no Zeke beside her. She would finally stop moving and it would be time, she thought, to make a reckoning.

  The jarring noise of the alarm had barely begun when she clicked it off. She sighed, threw back the covers and got out of bed. She padded into the bathroom and looked with interest in the full-length mirror that doubled as the hotel room’s shower doors. For the first time in six months she stood and took her morning inventory.

  Plain face? Check.

  Looking tired? Check. But they’d been driving almost non-stop for the last four days.

  Thirty pounds overweight? Well, she looked like she’d lost a couple pounds – but, yes, check.

  Dark circles under deer-caught-in-headlights eyes? Check and check. Then again, tomorrow she would start looking for work, and that was something she hadn’t had to do for almost sixteen years.

  She shuddered, then refocused on her reflection in the mirror.

  Her hair was shorter, but it was still limp, still not-quite-brown-not-quite-blonde...and she was still old.

  She smiled ruefully.

  She had some pretty good memories, she thought as she dropped her clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower, and on the inside she felt reconnected to a larger world, but on the outside – well. Not much had changed there.

  She turned on the water, positioned herself under the hot stream and closed her eyes as it cascaded over her shoulders and back.

  She smiled.

  After all was said and done – and there was a lot said and lot more done over the last few months – she was still her.

  She was okay with that.

  ~~~~~

  Zeke and Manny drove in silence. Another three hours and they’d be home, and the adventure would be at an end. The silence stretched between them, comfortable, yet rich with things left unspoken.

  Almost six months, Manny thought. It was a very long time to spend together, and had been filled with more than its fair share of ups and downs, although the last few weeks had been almost serene. She suspected Zeke had been on his best behaviour ever since she’d found out about the blog.

  Her feelings were mixed. She knew he was being paid to travel with her; she knew he was still writing about her. On the other hand, he’d been more than willing to do whatever she wanted to do. It had been rather fun to watch him squirm a little when she pushed his buttons, and grit his teeth before he agreed to something. Fun, but also a little irritating, and even a little sad, and she found she missed their earlier, less suspicious, more trusting relationship.

  Regardless, it was all coming to an end now, and the future she’d so diligently ignored was standing on her doorstep, and would soon de
mand answers and decisions and a reckoning.

  She thoughtfully chewed her thumb as she stared out the van’s window.

  “Did you find what you were looking for?” Zeke asked suddenly, startling her.

  Manny carefully considered the question, then nodded. “Yes, I think so. Did you?”

  Zeke laughed ruefully. “I found things I hadn’t even known I was looking for.”

  Manny laughed too, then asked, “What are you looking forward to the most about getting home?”

  Zeke frowned as he thought about it. “Sleeping in my own bed,” he said. “Seeing my friends. Not moving. You?”

  “Settling into the place Rebecca found for me. Seeing Daisy and Rebecca and everyone else. Looking for a job. Not moving.”

  “Has anything really changed for you? I mean, in real life. You still need to work. If you’re not careful, you’ll be back where you started.”

  “Maybe. Most likely. I’m still me, after all. But at least I know – at least I have the memory of a time when I did something...more - something different – something...a little less ordinary.”

  “But now it’s done.”

  “Yes.”

  “Then...maybe nothing’s really changed at all.”

  “Maybe not,” Manny agreed sadly and turned her face away to look out the window again.

  After several minutes, Zeke said very quietly, “We’re not gonna be the same, are we?”

  Manny turned her face towards him and smiled sadly at him as she shook her head. “No.”

  “That’s it?” he asked indignantly.

  “It’s gonna be a long trip,” they said together and burst out laughing, laughing much louder and longer than the situation truly warranted.

  Zeke sighed and said ruefully, “I don’t even know why I said that. It’s not like – it’s not like it’s a surprise.”

  “No. Real life has a way of taking over – that’s why it’s real life.”

  “Do you think you’ll go back to – you know – how you used to be?” Zeke asked with genuine interest.

  “Prudish, repressed and timid?” she asked drily.