Tara: Catch Me if I Fall

by Meredith Costain

  CHAPTER 7

  It’s official. Sammy, Grace and I have made it through to the International section of the Prix de Fonteyn. Grace won the silver medal and Sammy and I both took out gold. Me, Tara Webster, from Patchewalling. A gold medallist!

  I have to admit, being a winner feels pretty amazing. I know that to be a good one, you’re not allowed to be too pleased with yourself, because that’s considered bad form. On the other hand, to be a good loser you have to pretend you’re not disappointed. But now that the competition’s over, and we’re all separated into winners and losers, it’s hard to act like nothing’s changed. Somehow, people treat winners and losers differently.

  As International finalists, Grace, Sammy and I have been invited to appear on a morning chat show, Gav and Lena. After a session in hair and make-up, we bunch together on the studio couches. Michael Slade, the silver medal winner, is here as well. Creep, I think, thinking back to how he tried to sabotage Sammy’s performance by turning off his backing music. Except it backfired on him – Sammy went on to give the best performance he’s ever done.

  The cameras roll. Lena introduces us all, then smiles wolfishly at Grace and me. ‘So dish the dirt, girls. What’s it like being friends and rivals? Any thumbtacks in the pointe shoes?’

  ‘No,’ I say, uncomfortably. Nobody told me how hot it was going to be under all these lights. ‘Grace is an incredible dancer. She inspires me to be better every day.’

  Grace pats my arm. ‘Tara says that, but she won the girls’ category.’

  We grin fondly at each other.

  ‘You too are just beyond adorable,’ Lena tells us.

  ‘What about the boys?’ Gav wants to know.

  ‘Sammy and I don’t know each other well, yet,’ Michael jumps in, ‘but I have a lot of respect for his ability.’

  ‘That true, Sammy?’ Gav asks him. ‘You’re being pretty quiet up there.’

  The camera rolls. And rolls.

  ‘Sammy?’ Lena prompts him.

  Sammy opens his mouth. ‘Um …’

  Sammy’s sitting on the common room couch, flanked by me and Kat, mortified by the things he’s just spilled on live TV.

  I pat his hand. ‘Seriously, you were funny.’

  ‘I don’t even remember what I said,’ Sammy mutters, still shell-shocked. ‘It’s just this black haze of shame.’

  Ben turns around from the game of darts he’s playing with Ollie. ‘So what I’m hearing is, you want a party for when the episode screens tomorrow?’

  ‘It’s your fifteen minutes of fame,’ Ollie jokes. ‘I’d lap it up.’

  Sammy groans, his head in his hands. Kat and I pat his shoulders.

  ‘Reedo!’ Ben calls as Christian walks past. ‘I’m organising a party. I need your help to honour our heroes.’

  Christian shakes his head. ‘I’m busy.’

  Ben gives me the full 100-watt smile. Loser. ‘What about you, Tara.’

  I ignore him.

  ‘Tara?’

  I turn to Sammy. ‘Can you hear that, Sammy?’ I say, looking around. ‘It’s like a dull roar.’

  Ollie laughs. I give Sammy an extra squeeze.

  I sit cross-legged on my bed, cutting up a T-shirt Ben gave me into strips. It was once my proudest possession. Now? It’s just so much garbage.

  ‘I must have been desperate,’ I tell Kat, my scissors ripping apart a red heart shape. ‘He’s so … Ben.’

  Kat sighs. There’s obviously something on her mind. She hasn’t said anything, but I’m pretty sure things aren’t going well between her and Christian either.

  ‘All this extra audition practice Christian’s doing for Peter Pan, the end-of-year production Zach’s putting together? He’s convinced he’s perfect for Captain Hook.’

  ‘He is perfect,’ I assure her.

  ‘And I could be Tinkerbell.’

  ‘You would be perfect for Tinkerbell,’ I tell her, ripping away another corner of the heart.

  ‘Actually, it’s kind of earmarked for me?’

  Kat and I look up to see Grace. How long has she been standing there?

  Kat raises an eyebrow.

  ‘Zach basically offered it to me,’ Grace tells her casually.

  ‘How does that work?’ Kat asks her.

  Grace smirks. ‘I think he might be having a Lolita moment,’ she drawls, flopping down on her bed.

  I stare at her, shocked. ‘Don’t even joke about that. Zach is old, and married. It would be totally wrong. And gross.’

  ‘And fictional,’ Kat snorts.

  I sneak a look at Grace. Any moment now she’s going to laugh, and carry on about how she sucked us in. But she doesn’t. In fact, she looks kind of upset.

  ‘We’re going to play cards,’ I tell her, picking up a deck from the bed. ‘Can I deal you in?’

  ‘What?’ Grace snaps, jumping up from her bed. ‘For another round of Tara and Kat versus Grace? Sounds super fun.’

  I stare at her as she stalks out of the room. Where did that come from?

  Kat’s invited me to sleep in her room. Abigail’s gone off to this musical theatre thing she’s been involved with lately, and I’m looking forward to some extra bonding time with Kat. We spent way too long apart. But after what happened earlier, I’m a bit worried about telling Grace. What if she thinks we’re trying to gang up on her again?

  It doesn’t go well. As soon as I mention the part about sleeping in Kat’s room, Grace stiffens. As she turns towards me, I realise her face is blotchy and tear-stained.

  ‘Grace?’ I say, moving closer. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘You were right about the thing with Zach,’ Grace sniffs, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. ‘I just didn’t realise how wrong it was until –’

  My eyes widen. ‘What?’

  ‘He tried to kiss me.’

  ‘Come here,’ I whisper, sick to my stomach. I pull her into a hug. How could he?

  Grace and I are curled up on the couch in the common room in our PJs, eating fruit salad.

  ‘If you’re sure what happened really happened …’ I begin, worried for her.

  ‘Trust me,’ Grace assures me, ‘it was pretty blatant.’

  ‘Then you need to talk to someone about it.’

  Grace shrugs, then spoons up more fruit salad. ‘Zach made a mistake. I’m not going to ruin his career over it.’

  She touches my arm. ‘Will you come and wait for me while I audition? It’ll be easier knowing you’re outside.’

  ‘You’re still auditioning today?’

  Grace pops a piece of strawberry into her mouth. ‘Well, what do you expect me to do? Hide under my bed?’

  I stare at her, amazed she can be so casual about something so horrific. If it’s true, that is … I still can’t be sure.

  An hour later I’m standing outside the studio, waiting for Grace to finish her Tinkerbell audition. The door jerks open and she comes out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  ‘Grace?’ I say, rushing over to her.

  Grace swallows. ‘He begged me not to tell anyone,’ she sobs. ‘But you were right. I have to.’

  I nod, trying to work out the best thing to do. If it’s true, Zach could lose his job over this. But he should, shouldn’t he?

  ‘Are you going to go to Miss Raine?’ I say finally.

  ‘What if she doesn’t believe me? It’s my word against his.’

  She pauses. ‘And yours,’ she adds brightly, grabbing my hands. ‘She trusts you. If you go to her and say I can’t face her, it will sound way more convincing.’

  I stare at her, shocked. ‘But I wasn’t there. I didn’t see anything.’

  ‘You saw how upset I was. And you know how much time I’ve been spending with him. Unless you don’t believe me?’ Grace adds, when she sees me hesitating.

  I’m torn. Grace looks so woeful and hurt, so vulnerable. How could she be lying? Why would she lie?

  ‘Zach’s always been such a great teacher,’ I point out.

  Grace sig
hs. ‘I know. I trusted him, too. But he doesn’t care about us. It’s all an act.’

  I want to believe her, but Grace has always been a bit careless with the truth when it suits her. Head spinning, I stumble away down the hall, past the studio where Zach’s been holding auditions for Peter Pan all day. When I hear raised voices, I peer inside. Christian’s in there, arguing with Zach about his poor performance at the Nationals.

  ‘I was fine the way I was before, Zach,’ Christian is telling him. ‘You didn’t need to make me think I was going to win when I didn’t stand a chance.’

  ‘I said you could win,’ Zach replies, looking stressed. ‘So you failed. Learn something and get over it. Because if you want a career, it’s knockback after knockback. And I care, I really do. I just can’t be around every time to hold your hand.’

  I move away quickly before either of them sees me. Zach’s a good teacher. And he really does care about us – all of us. Could he have done what Grace says?

  There’s only one way to find out. I’m going to talk to Miss Raine.

  After listening to my concerns, Miss Raine calls a meeting. She asks me to wait outside until Grace arrives.

  ‘Tara!’ Grace calls as soon as she sees me. ‘I knew she’d believe you. Lucy sounded like she was having a stroke when she rang me.’ She hugs me, bubbly with victory. ‘You are the best friend that I’ve ever had. Thank you for this.’

  I follow her into Miss Raine’s office, my heart thumping.

  ‘What is he doing here?’ she asks imperiously, when she realises Zach is here as well. Turning quickly to Miss Raine, she whispers. ‘Lucy, can I talk to you? Just us?’

  ‘Tara came to me because she was worried about you,’ Miss Raine tells her firmly. ‘About what you said happened with Zach.’

  Grace wheels round to face me. ‘What I said?’ she repeats, her eyes puzzled. ‘I told you, it’s what happened.’

  ‘Zach and I have spoken,’ Miss Raine continues gently. ‘He told me how you got confused and tried to –’

  ‘I’m the victim here!’ Grace interrupts her.

  ‘Grace, it’s okay,’ Zach tells her gently. ‘We’re all here because we want to help you.’

  Grace whirls around to me, her face contorted with rage. ‘How could you take his side? I trusted you!’

  I stare at her, hating myself for what this is doing to her. Miss Raine pushes me gently to the door. ‘Tara, you can go now. And this does not leave my office. Understood?’

  I stand outside the door for a moment, listening as Grace tries to defend herself. But after a while it all becomes too much, and I walk slowly back to the boarding house, alone.

  I creep into the common room where my friends have gathered to watch the live screening of Gav and Lena. It’s up to the part where Sammy froze after Michael told Gav he had a lot of respect for his ability.

  ‘Sammy?’ Lena prompts him.

  ‘Um,’ Sammy says, his eyes darting around nervously. Then he pulls himself together. ‘Actually, Lena, Slade and I can’t stand each other.’

  ‘Really,’ Lena purrs. ‘Intriguing.’

  ‘Yeah, he has a signature headband. And he tried to sabotage my performance, so –’

  ‘No, I didn’t,’ Michael jumps in quickly. ‘It was a misunderstanding.’

  ‘The underbelly of the ballet world,’ Gav quips, just as real life Sammy walks into the common room.

  ‘The guest of honour!’ Ben jokes, jumping up to welcome him.

  I check my watch. Grace should be back by now. I sneak away to our room before anyone even notices I’m gone.

  There’s a suitcase on the end of Grace’s bed. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask her gently.

  ‘Just talked to Dad,’ Grace chirps, upbeat. ‘In thirty-eight hours he’s picking me up from Heathrow, then I’ll be reinstalled in the north wing with the step-brats.’

  I bite my lip. ‘You must have felt like we ambushed you.’

  ‘You totally did the right thing,’ Grace says, moving across the room to tap gently on her axolotl’s tank. ‘Zach’s an awesome guy.’

  I shake my head, trying to understand her.

  ‘So why did you lie about him?’

  Grace considers this for a moment. ‘Partly boredom. Partly an experiment to see if you’d stand up for me.’ She winces. ‘Friend fail.’

  ‘I couldn’t do that when I wasn’t sure,’ I try to explain.

  Grace stuffs one last thing into her bulging suitcase, then zips it shut. ‘That’s the difference,’ she tells me, her coat over her arm. ‘I would have lied for you.’

  She’s halfway out the door when she turns back for one last parting shot. ‘Oh, yeah. At the Nationals?’

  I nod.

  ‘I let you win.’

  Shattered, I find my way back into the common room, where the interview is still playing.

  ‘See, I’m up on stage,’ TV Sammy’s saying, ‘when the music just cuts out.’

  He turns to Michael.

  ‘Hey, Slade, do the part where you pulled the cord.’

  Michael’s glaring at him. Grace and I are giggling, unable to believe what he’s just said on TV.

  ‘So then the music just stops. Dead silence,’ TV Sammy goes on. ‘And I –’

  Kat explodes into giggles. I perch beside her, keeping my voice low. ‘Grace just left for London.’

  Kat turns to me, stunned. ‘Why?’

  I shake my head, empty. ‘I don’t think she’s coming back.’

  Kat pulls me into a hug, and I snuggle up on the couch beside her, trying to block out Grace’s final words to me.

  CHAPTER 8

  Sammy and I sit in front of Miss Raine, giggling. Neither of us can quite believe that her two worst students have made the Internationals of the Prix de Fonteyn.

  ‘Stop that,’ Miss Raine snaps. ‘This is the opportunity to do your final year at any of the world’s top ballet schools!’

  ‘If we win,’ I remind her.

  ‘I still want your school selections by the end of the week.’

  She breaks off as Abigail appears at the door. She’s just been cast as Wendy Darling in the end-of-year production, and she doesn’t think she’s suited to the role.

  I sigh, jealous. I would love to play Wendy, I tell Miss Raine, but she shakes her head. From now on, my Prix preparations will be taking up all my spare time.

  The thought of spending third year at an international ballet school if I win the Prix is scary. It was hard enough coming to a big city after spending my whole life on a farm in the middle of nowhere. But it’s exciting, too. Now I’ve just got to work out where I’d like to go. Russia would be fun, I decide. All those furry hats and ice skating.

  I’m asking my friends for advice over morning coffee on the wharf when Ben places a portable music player on the table behind us.

  ‘Tara?’ he announces dramatically. ‘You’ve been avoiding me, so this one goes out to you.’

  He flicks a switch and a recorded backing track blares out of the speakers. Oh, no, he’s not going to sing, is he?

  Oh, yes, he is. A corny song all about how frustrating I am, but now he’s here to stay. He finishes with some stagey dance moves, and a spectacular handstand off a table.

  ‘You may kiss me now-w-w,’ he trills, his head in my lap, to wild applause from the other diners at the café.

  I push him away, embarrassed. ‘Can we go somewhere and talk?’

  Ben stares at me, disappointed. ‘No kiss? But I was a sensation.’

  ‘Look,’ I say. ‘Thank you for the song, and I forgive you. All that stuff at the Nationals – using me as a challenge. It’s in the past, okay?’

  Then I walk away quickly, before he can follow me and start singing again.

  I’m so happy! Zach has agreed to let me fill in for Abigail in the Wendy Darling role. All I have to do is teach her the dance steps later.

  I nudge Kat. ‘I get to dance Wendy,’ I squeak. ‘I identify with Wendy.’

  Kat raises
an eyebrow. ‘I can see that.’

  ‘Where is Abigail, anyway?’ Zach asks.

  ‘Vomiting,’ Kat says quickly, winking at me. ‘Projectile style.’

  Clever Kat. Zach would go ballistic if he knew the real reason Abigail was skipping class was to get tips from Sammy on dating.

  ‘Thanks for that,’ Zach says, making a face. ‘Okay, everyone, today’s rehearsal is going to focus on character motivations, not just getting the steps right.’

  He points to Ben and me. ‘You two, Wendy and John Darling. Talk through your brother – sister dynamics.’

  Ben breaks into a grin as he saunters over. ‘Fancy seeing you here.’

  I eye him warily. ‘Let’s just do this, okay?’

  Ben shrugs. ‘Fine with me.’

  I think for a moment about the story of Peter Pan. ‘I’m the older sibling, and you’re the middle child,’ I tell Ben. ‘I guess that means you crave attention?’

  Ben shakes his head. ‘I knew it.’

  ‘Knew what?’

  ‘You giving up a day of Prix practice to fill in for Wendy? You couldn’t stay away from me.’

  I what?

  ‘I should have been cast as Peter though,’ Ben continues, watching Christian dancing with Kat. ‘Be your leading man.’

  I roll my eyes. ‘Ben,’ I laugh, ‘you talk with your mouth full, rarely use deodorant and I’ve caught you picking your nose on at least five occasions.’

  ‘Whoa,’ Ben recoils. ‘You have not!’ Then he grins. ‘So?’

  ‘So you are perfectly cast as an annoying little brother,’ I add triumphantly, then skip away before he can retaliate.

  Kat’s having trouble putting the right ‘motivation’ into her dancing. As Tinkerbell, she’s supposed to be resentful of the fact that her boyfriend Peter is dancing with me.

  ‘Come on, Kat,’ Zach tells her. ‘Peter’s got a new girl on the scene and he’s taking you for granted. How does that make you feel?’

  ‘Hungry?’ Kat jokes. ‘It’s my default emotion.’